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God created us.
We should be
Create another self
Create your own style!
Create your own future!
Create yourself!
Before, a female employee obviously didn't want to, but she was afraid to refuse the boss's invitation at night. But in the end, I refused further requests and offended my boss.
"If you wanted to say no, why didn't you say so earlier?" The boss asked harshly ... "
Why not say no?
Helen next door asks you to help operate the computer. You said, "All right!"
Pat asked you to help bring the electronic organ to school. You said, "Yes!"
Han Rui asks you to help him record Friday night videos every Friday. You said, "Of course! )"
Marion wants you to make a poster for her party. You said, "No problem!"
Why do you never say "no"
Now let me talk about what happened to me today for your reference:
Good morning. Aunt Wang called and asked if I could go with her to see Sotheby's auction of China antiques. I said, "No!"
At noon, the community newspaper called and asked me if I could give them an award for their composition. I said, "No!"
In the afternoon, students from St. John's University called and asked if I could attend the weekend dinner. I said, "No!"
In the evening, Taipei faxed me and asked me if I could write a column. I said, "No!"
You said four yes, I said four no!
You may call me unkind, but you should also know that when I said the first "no", I also told her "I will attend the next auction of ancient paintings. As for today, it is difficult to make good suggestions because I don't know much about furniture, utensils and jade. "
When I said the second "no", I said, "Because I have made a review, your newspaper has recently published my news in succession, praising me in a report on the symposium, but criticizing others. If I go to the awards again, I am afraid that it will cause speculation, which seems objective. "
When I said the third "no", I said, "Because of my recent sciatica, I have to sit straight in a hard chair, as if being punished. I can't stand sitting for a long time. In order not to spoil the scenery, I will find another opportunity later! "
When I said the fourth "no", I told the other party by fax that "a headline (that is, a long article published in an important position, not a short column) has been sent recently, and the column will be written later."
I said "no", but I said it politely. I did refuse, but it was reasonable. Then why can't you say "no" even if you know that you are not getting enough sleep and busy with your homework?
There are indeed many people in this world who can't say no. They are either afraid or embarrassed.
For example, a female employee obviously doesn't want to, but she dare not refuse the boss's invitation at night. A janitor knows that people who don't show their passes can't let them go, but he dare not stop the boss's car.
The expert clearly knows that it is a fake, but he is embarrassed not to stamp the friend who showed it and say it is genuine.
The problem is that when the boss made further demands on the female staff, the latter did not suffer. It was when I had to refuse that I finally offended my boss. Even the boss may say angrily after losing face, "If you wanted to say no, why didn't you say it earlier?"
When the bad guys hide in that car, but after the accident, the boss may hand over the guards to the judiciary: "You know the company's safety regulations clearly, why did you let people pass without a pass? How dare you collude?"
When the fake is finally found, the collector may say, "If you knew it, why didn't you tell me?"? It's embarrassing for me. People will say, "What kind of connoisseur is that? Either you collude to cheat money or you are incompetent! "
Do you think they should say "no"?
People who dare not say no often lack strength. They are afraid that if they don't comply with each other's wishes, they will suffer. I'm afraid the more I try to please everyone, the more I may fail to please anyone in the end, because no one cherishes his "goodness", but I have to doubly blame him for his possible thoughtlessness. The more you want to be worthy of everyone, the more likely you are to be sorry for others, because the spirit, time and financial resources are limited and it is impossible to cover everything. As a result, the service level has dropped, and people are still embarrassed. Even if he tries hard to deal with everyone, at least he is sorry for himself.
I have an elder who went to Hong Kong 30 years ago when going abroad was a big event. Everyone heard that she was asked to bring things, and she also agreed to come back and give gifts to every friend. Unexpectedly, there were not enough gifts, and then even the gifts that had been given to her own children were taken back and given to others.
Worst of all, her economic situation was greatly weakened after she returned to China. The reason is that most of the things she brought to her friends were taxed by the customs, and she was too embarrassed to ask her friends for them, so she brought them down herself. Finally, a friend found out and offered to pay taxes. But he said behind his back, "It's more expensive than what I entrusted the bank to buy. I'm afraid she will eat it!" " "
From so many examples I have listed, you should understand:
Only when you show the strength to say "no" will the other person appreciate your "yes". Only when you know how to say "no" can you save enough strength to say "yes".
Only people who are full of self-confidence and principles know to say "no", and only others know that you have the principle of saying "no" will trust you.
Euphemistically speaking your own difficulties and principles will certainly gain the understanding of your friends and win the respect of each other!
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People who love to be late always seem to be late, long-distance relationship,
He will be late; Meeting next to his home, he may still be late;
Even when you arrived at his house early and sat in the living room, I saw him groping.
Touch, west mill, in the end still can't start on time.
What is the reason?
The late king
When I was a child, I often heard adults say "get up early with three lights, get up late with three panics", and always heard them say "get up early and catch up with a late gathering!"
At that time, I was puzzled to ask: since early risers can see the light, moonlight and starlight rising in the sky at the same time, it seems very calm. How do they achieve "getting up early and catching up late"?
Their answer is simple: "Because of procrastination!"
This reminds me that when I first came to new york, I often asked tourists if they had been to Niagara Falls. Surprisingly, a high proportion of them actually shook their heads. Their reason was simple: "Because they are close, I thought I could go at any time anyway, so I kept dragging them." Curiously, most of those people have been to Florida or Hawaii, and it takes a few days to drive.
Procrastination is so wonderful. Procrastinators may not have no time, but they may have plenty of time. People who don't pay their debts often delay paying them back until they have no money; A person who doesn't reply to a friend's letter for a long time may keep the letter on his desk and want to reply every day, but it will last for months.
You will find that people who love to be late always seem to be late, and they will be late for dating in different places; Meeting next to his home, he may still be late; Even when you arrived at his house early and sat in the living room, I saw him groping around and dawdling, but in the end, you still couldn't leave on time. What is the reason? Is there a psychological problem?
I don't think they really have psychological problems, but they may have been thinking, "Don't worry! There is still more time! " "Don't worry! There is still some time! " "Don't worry! Probably just in time! " "Don't worry! If you are lucky, it is not too late! " "Don't worry! No one else can be on time! "
Finally, it is: "Don't worry! Anyway, it is already late! "
The problem is that he doesn't know how much time he has delayed others and how much precious time and opportunities for success he has lost.
My classmates who learn painting from me often say to me, "Teacher! My ink never turns black. What should I do? "
My answer is simple: "grind for a while!" " "
Isn't it? If his ink is not gray, but really black, of course, it is impossible to grind black, so grinding black is not a problem of ink, it is his own problem.
Similarly, if you ask me, "I am procrastinating, what should I do?"
My answer is: "Don't delay! Act now! "
When you put that in your heart, "Don't worry!" "There is no hurry today!" "There is still more time!" Put aside your distractions completely and tell yourself to "act now", and your procrastination will be cured soon!
No matter how early you get up, you always leave home late, and you are often late for the first class, so I have to tell you this big story, because people who "get up early and catch up with the late episode" are worse than those who forget to set the alarm clock. Just like "having money but not paying debts", it is more shameful than having no money.
Remember! You must not have procrastination, because our life can't be delayed! The sun does not drag, the moon does not drag, the stars do not drag, the spring and autumn seasons, everything rises and falls, do not drag.
How can it be delayed?
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I participated in the Westinghouse Science Award before and entered the semi-finals, but I didn't get it.
Among the top ten, four later won the Nobel Prize. but
Only one of Westinghouse's top ten people won.
Strange phenomenon in Westinghouse
This year's Westinghouse Science Prize has been announced, and it is really unprecedented that no one from China has entered the top ten. However, what the organizer, Dr. Goth, said when comforting the losers was quite intriguing: "None of the people who participated in the Westinghouse Science Prize rematch before made it into the top ten, and then four won the Nobel Prize. But only one of the top ten Westinghouse people got it. "
China has a saying: "Young people should be, but big ones are not necessarily good." This phenomenon can be described. I think the reason is that "young" often comes from the special guidance of family, teachers and even the strong support of parents and brothers, which simply touts an immature child as a great talent. For example, newspapers often publish a painting exhibition and calligraphy exhibition of a child prodigy. It seems that calligraphy and painting are not bad, but if you count, how many of those prodigies can really become outstanding painters and painters in the future?
By the same token, when the Westinghouse Science Prize is announced every year, I will pay attention to the family background of the winners and find that many parents' studies are related to their children's works, and many winners attend special courses at school. Even your high school in Stuyvesant has a course "Research for Westinghouse Science Prize". Who can say that the courses of parents and schools are not helpful for children's award-winning research?
The question is: Will those who have won the Westinghouse Science Prize continue to push them behind after they enter the society? If there is no self-motivated power in his heart, can he still make outstanding achievements?
Maybe you have to say, why do you think people who fall outside the top ten of Westinghouse Science Awards have this momentum? Then let me give you another example. If a few children with artistic talent and punching skills can't get the teacher's guidance today, they can join you in a competition where they can draw at home and send them out for evaluation. If you all spend the same time, who is more likely to win? Because you are timid and blind, and I may give you some advice, of course, you have a good chance of winning. The question is, is the person who lost to you really inferior to you? If you don't have the urge to draw yourself, I can guarantee that they will hit you in the future.
Of course, such an analysis cannot absolutely explain the Westinghouse phenomenon mentioned above. Few people enter the top ten, and many people fall behind. This difference in proportion may also be the reason for the disparity in the number of Nobel Prize winners in the future. But anyway, you need to know one thing.
Those who are lost in youth are not necessarily poor in the possibility of success in the future, and even because of previous setbacks, they have stimulated their potential and will certainly achieve something in the future. If you can't get into a good middle school, you may not be admitted to a good university; Outstanding students in universities can never succeed in society.
The more democratic, open and equal opportunity environment, the more enterprising, ambitious and persevering people will shine according to their own plans.
Please count today's achievements. How many are forced by parents and teachers? How many Tao Zhu are there at home? How much is it because of your own pursuit? The first two scores are multiplied by 10% respectively. The score of the last item is multiplied by 80%.
What's your score?
I once fainted and woke up in a junior high school meeting.
I found that the upper and lower front teeth were shaking and my lips were swollen.
I almost covered my nostrils, and my nose and forehead were raw.
Sympathy
You didn't go to school yesterday because you had an eye surgery (folliculitis).
I heard this morning that you had a red scarf tied to your head and planned to dress up as a pirate. I clearly heard you arguing with your mother: "Since the doctor covered your left eye with such an ugly thing that it looks like a cyclops, why not just dress up as a pirate, otherwise it would be strange to walk in school by subway!"
Then I want to ask you, isn't it even weirder to wear a red scarf? What kind of eyes will others look at you? Are you going to a masquerade party? Really hurt your eyes? Or what would the teacher who missed the class yesterday think if he was dressed like this?
I know you're embarrassed to go out. Because the doctor covered you with flesh-colored gauze and put layers of yellow tape, it really looks strange, but for such a needle suit that hardly hinders your action and study, can you stay indoors for a few days?
Of course, I can understand your feelings, because when I was in junior high school, I fainted in the meeting. Standing in the first row, there was no one in front, so when I woke up, I found that the front teeth in the upper and lower rows were shaking, my lips were swollen and almost covered my nostrils, and my nose and forehead were covered with skin.
I still clearly remember the strange eyes of people and your grandmother's surprised and distressed expression when I transferred to two buses to go home.
But, can I not go to school because of this?
I was once praised as a beautiful teenager. I curled up in the corner of the bus. I tried to turn my face out of the window, and my neck hurt. I try not to look at people because there are always amazing eyes staring at them.
A few days after the injury, an unknown classmate approached me and asked me what was going on. He and I take the same bus. When I got on the bus, I found his legs were surprisingly thin and his shoes were special. It was summer and everyone was wearing shorts. Every time he sits, he always pushes his schoolbag forward as far as possible to block his knees that look like dead bones.
So we became sympathetic friends.
However, the blood on my face fell one by one! The swelling of the lips disappeared and the teeth miraculously became strong again. Every day when we meet after class, he stares at me intently and looks away as if he didn't see me. My face gradually lifted again, but the schoolbag on his knee pushed further!
The distance between us is getting farther and farther, and it is gradually discovered that he is actually avoiding me.
I began to understand the inner pain of the disabled. They have their world, a world of mutual sympathy, a world that outsiders can't understand. Now that I think about it, I am even glad that I had that experience and let me know that there are so many people in this world that we should know and help.
I also reflect that a society where it is not easy to see disabled people in public places does not mean that the rate of disabled people is low, but it shows that our moral level is low. Because everyone looks at the disabled with special eyes, even pointing fingers, and lacks consideration for the disabled, this is a shame for society and a shame for normal and healthy people.
Speaking of which, have you ever thought about your injuries? Are they far worse than when I was a teenager? In a few days, the gauze can be taken out of the eyes. Isn't it a kind of luck compared with those who are really disabled? You can't stand it for just a few days, but they are months, years, or even a lifetime!
We often know the beauty of "having" when we lose it. I hope that when you get it back, you will feel the value of "getting" on the one hand and commemorate the pain of losing it on the other. Therefore, we can understand the mentality of the lost and have sympathy for others.
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By examining the content of chemical components in the body, we can predict
Know a person's suicidal tendency;
From the abnormal arrangement of chromosomes, we can analyze the relationship with crime.
Even the strong colors of Van Gogh's paintings have medical significance.
Some people think it has something to do with the stimulation caused by the therapeutic drugs he uses.