I read an article "You are not too straight, but too selfish" on the Internet the other day, and I felt a lot. There are many such people in life.
under the banner of "frankness", it is actually "speaking without thinking, ignoring the feelings of others, not restraining emotions, regardless of influence, and being unscrupulous only for your own pleasure". When you are young, you can blame this immature performance on being ignorant, but if you are an adult and step into society, it is absolutely wrong. If we insist on our so-called "directness", I believe that sooner or later, we will suffer big or small, deep or shallow losses. After all, not everyone can give them tolerance and understanding repeatedly like parents or friends.
that year, the unit sent Spring Festival couplets to the countryside, and organized several people with good calligraphy to write Spring Festival couplets in the unit. During the chat, a teacher told a true story: He said that a person he knew who loved calligraphy could write well. This man often boasts of his kung fu skills, and Wang Xizhi is reincarnated. In particular, I like to comment on other people's works and point fingers, which makes many people unhappy.
At one time, during a local cultural exchange, I visited many people who wrote calligraphy. During the communication, a lady asked the teachers for advice with her own works. As a beginner, it is inevitable that her works are immature, and most teachers encourage them on the basis of affirmation. Only this person is different. When the lady addressed the teacher with a smile and handed in her own work, she saw him squint and show disdain. Said, "Is this also called calligraphy? It is not as good as a dog dipped in ink to climb over ... "Then he threw it away and happened to fall to the ground. The lady blushed with shame, picked up the work that had fallen to the ground and ran out like an escape. This man is still talking about wisdom and understanding.
after about half an hour, several young people came in and went straight to the man to pull him out. The organizer and other people present rushed forward to dissuade them, and only when they asked the reason did they know that the lady's husband had brought someone to clean up the "cheap mouth". It was only after everyone repeatedly said good things that the storm was calmed down. The lady's husband pointed at the "cheap mouth" and cursed it before leaving. That "cheap-mouthed" man, with a full face of apprehension, listened to the other party swearing and accompanied him carefully. Why bother?
"There is never absolute freedom in this world, and all freedoms are based on constraints." It can be seen that if people want to be free, they must first learn to control their mouths and control their temper. You hurt others and hope they don't mind. You think of Na Ying's song in your ear: You hurt me and laughed it off ... Is it possible? This is not a question of straightness at all. Everyone is not a saint, why don't you mind? Some things just don't deserve to be forgiven, which has nothing to do with size; Each has its own bottom line. If you do something wrong, you should consider paying the price for your mistakes. Not everyone is sorry, but it doesn't matter if they can get one back.
I have seen too many people who are irresponsible for their words under the banner of "straightforwardness". Because of straightforwardness, they can do whatever they want. ? Because "straight", you can talk nonsense and vent your grievances? Because of "straightness", everyone should make way for his "not hypocrisy"? Because of "straightness", all abrupt and improper wording should be forgiven? This is not a true temperament, not a simple frankness. And it's not honest and straightforward. If you can't give others the most basic respect in words, why should others buy it for your "speaking frankly"
the true "frankness" should be a kind of great wisdom that is consistent in heart and deed, but can yet be considered by others. Instead of simply relying on the so-called "straightforwardness" to act rashly and judge the cleverness of others' good or bad, right or wrong.
people should know the truth that "speak with discretion, act with advance and retreat". You should know that you should "advance and retreat in moderation, hold and hold" when you speak and act. Only in this way can we become "self-satisfied". Lay a solid foundation for yourself when walking in this world.
as the ancients said, words come from the heart. How cheap the mouth is, how cheap the life is. Speak well, be kind, keep your mouth open, and don't be mean, and you will get good returns. You don't have to finish what you say, but leave some virtue and yourself. Don't be harsh on others, leave some tolerance for yourself. You don't have to invite all the meritorious deeds, leave some humility to yourself. You don't have to grab all the reasons, leave some tolerance and yourself.