Haizi was born in1March, 964, in Chawan, a closed and poor mountain village in Huaining County, Anhui Province. When I was a child, I spent an innocent childhood in a hungry and semi-hungry environment. With the birth of my eldest brother and second brother, the originally poor family could not make ends meet. In elementary school, Haizi came home from school. In order to let his two younger brothers eat first, he often only eats some leftovers. Went to junior high school and was busy farming. After class on Saturday afternoon, Haizi walked home from school, transplanting rice and cutting rice. The next day, I worked all day and earned a few work points, so that I can earn more grain and oil for my family when I pay dividends at the end of the year. After busy work, I pulled out a few cabbages in the vegetable field and fried them (without oil and salt) and put them in bottles as his delicious food next week; Carrying a bottle of pickled radish and four or five Jin of rice to school. 1979 When he was admitted to Peking University, he shouted at the well with an admission notice in his hand, excitedly saying that he would realize his wish to see the real train for the first time and get on it. When I was in Peking University, my mother lent Haizi 30 yuan. The father of an old tailor in the countryside burns the midnight oil every night to make money by processing clothes for the villagers, and provides Haizi with his monthly living expenses 10 yuan when he was in Peking University. After graduating from college, Haizi was assigned to work in China University of Political Science and Law. "In the first month of 90 yuan's salary, he sent 60 yuan home." From 65438 to 0988, filial Haizi lived with her mother in Changping, Beijing for a period of time. Before leaving, Haizi handed 300 yuan money to go back and buy something she likes to eat. But the mother knows that her son's life is also very hard: there is no TV, tape recorder or even radio in the room, and he has neither money nor leisure to learn to dance, swim or ride a bike. However, Haizi was not understood, fell in love for four times and wandered lonely and desolate in a closed and poor life. Writing in monotony and loneliness is not recognized, and even the publication of poetry is extremely smooth. Chang Yuan once said: "I just started school this year (that is, before and after writing this poem)" and (now) "I am too poor to buy things in the store for the time being". I think Haizi, who was born in a poor and closed area, yearned for not the "idle" life of Tao Yuanming, but an ordinary life that made the whole family eat and wear warm clothes and was full of family warmth. At the beginning of 1989, Haizi returned to Anhui, but his hometown was still so closed and poor. At home, his peasant father is even a little afraid to talk to him, and no one in the family can understand his thoughts and writing. He was heartbroken that he could not get rid of the closed and poor environment since he was a child.
Haizi's life, in his own words, "is to be the sun's life." He must have been inspired by the ancient Egyptians, Persians and Aztecs who worshipped the sun, and also by the American poet Harry who died in the sun and entered it. Crosby's shock. Haizi's unfinished poem "The Sun" is enough to illuminate himself. Therefore, Haizi's life is not dark but brilliant. However, for me, Haizi is not a god at all, but a living person and a friend of flesh and blood. He has both strengths and weaknesses, even fatal weaknesses. I think we should have a realistic understanding of the dead, just as we do to ourselves. This is the least humanitarian. What I'm talking about here is some specific reasons that led to Haizi's suicide, which is his present pain. As for the metaphysical cause of Haizi's suicide, there must be someone who has something more to say than me.
In addition, the reason why I wrote down the cause of Haizi's death is because death has been hanging over China's poetry circles since Haizi committed suicide. Up to now, less than 14 of young poets have committed suicide, died or been killed, which is really an unbearable number. Maybe death and murder are beyond our control, but we should not confuse too many assumptions and misunderstandings with suicide. It makes me sad to hear that a young poet in Zhejiang once paid homage to Haizi in his hometown before committing suicide. I don't want death to look brilliant. I'm sure this is a sad thing, and there is real despair buried inside. In view of this, I want to say that all living people should cherish their own lives, so that we can truly compete with all kinds of darkness, boredom, stupidity and evil in the life of the times. A gloomy atmosphere can only cultivate a narrow mind, which is quite unfavorable to writing.
He ignored the "bitterness" in life, indulged in the pursuit of poetry, created a sacred poetic myth empire, and found his own way of life in the subconscious laws of nature. He spent his whole life in the sun to prove the truth of life; His poems can shock the light of human wisdom. The works left by Haizi can prove that he is a real "poetic emperor" and a real "poetic hero"! As Mr. Xie Mian, a famous professor in Peking University, said: "The fall of this comet is shocking; The time he fell, the way he fell, and his life seemed just to shine. He condensed his very limited life and let him show all the glory of life in a short time. "