1. The snowflakes in Yanshan Mountain are as big as mats. ——Li Bai
Interpretation: The snowflakes in Yanshan are as big as mats.
Weird reason: Ridiculously exaggerated. The snow only needs to fall for half an hour, and "all traces of people will be wiped out".
2. If you don’t have enough money, you will be shy. ——Du Fu
Interpretation: I was too poor and was afraid of being laughed at, so I deliberately left a penny in my pocket and guarded it. When I meet people in the future, I can at least say that I am rich.
Weird reason: I wanted to save face, and I was drunk too.
3. I see how charming the green mountains are, and I don’t expect the green mountains to be so charming when they see me. ——Xin Qiji
Interpretation: I stared at Qingshan intently. The more I looked, the more charming and charming Qingshan became. I must have felt the same way when Qingshan saw me.
Weird reason: super narcissistic. If Qingshan knew this, he would probably hide his mouth and snicker.
4. The sky is dark and the wind is blowing in the sea. ——Su Shi
Interpretation: The black wind from outside blew over, blowing the sea water so that it stood like a mountain peak.
Weird reason: The tornado is so weak compared to it. I don’t know where the author is, but he can stand like Mount Tai, enjoying the beautiful scenery and talking and laughing at the same time.
5. Kill the crowing roosters and kill the blackbirds. I wish that there would be no more darkness than dawn, and there would be only one dawn every year. ——Folk Song of the Southern Dynasties
Interpretation: I want to kill the roosters that crow on the branches to announce the dawn, and I want to use a slingshot to kill the birds that crow in the tallow trees. In this way, there can be one night after another, and only one morning in a year. Then my lover will not be in a hurry to leave as soon as possible, and my lover and I can stay together forever.
Weird reason: There is only one morning in a year. Doesn’t this mean that a person’s lifespan of several decades is only a few dozen days? Sure enough, love can easily make people dizzy.
6. The chickens are crowing, and the chickens are fighting. ——Du Fu
Interpretation: A group of chickens were croaking randomly. When the guests came, the chickens were fighting.
Weird reason: Excuse me, does this sentence look like poetry?
7. The stinging hand pulls out the whale's teeth and lifts the gourd to drink the heavenly liquid. ——Han Yu
Interpretation: I want to pull out the sharp teeth of the whale in the sea with my backhand, hold the gourd high, and drink the fairy wine in the palace of heaven.
Weird reason: Heaven and earth, omnipotent.
8. My thoughts should be straight tonight. The cold rain and fragrant soul hang on the scholar.
Interpretation: I was pulled by strong thoughts, and even my intestines were straightened. On such a windy and rainy night, a ghost came to pay my respects.
Weird reason: I have only heard of the Nine Songs of Chouchangchang, but I have never heard of Chouchangchang being straightened. I have only heard of living people paying homage to the dead, but never heard of the dead coming to pay homage to the living. "Poetry ghosts" always write poems in a non-conventional way.
9. When everyone looks at each other, the color of the world is like dust. ——Wang Guowei
Interpretation: This beautiful woman suddenly looked back in the crowd and glanced at me. I suddenly felt that all the beautiful women in the world seemed to pale in comparison, like dust.
Weird reason: I am afraid that all the beauties in the world will come to settle accounts with the author. Why should you belittle everyone to praise one person.
10. I smashed the Yellow Crane Tower for you, and you also knocked down the Parrot Island for me. ——Li Bai
Interpretation: For the time being, I will smash the Yellow Crane Tower with a hammer for you, and you will overturn the Parrot Island for me. Let’s get drunk and never return until we get drunk.
Weird reason: The destructive power is so amazing that even terrorists will be eclipsed.
11. Every time the sun and moon pass over your shoulders, you can see the mountains and rivers in your palms. ——Li Chen
Interpretation: The sun and the moon pass over your shoulders every time, and all the great rivers and mountains can be seen in the palm of your hand.
Weird reason: This palm is an extraordinary palm, it must be the palm of Tathagata.
12. Kill one person in ten steps and leave no trace in a thousand miles. When the matter is over, he brushes off his clothes and hides his body and name. ——Li Bai
Interpretation: Kill one person within ten steps and travel thousands of miles without leaving a trace. After finishing the matter, he walked away, hiding his traces and name deeply.
Weird reason: Only an extremely skilled person can do this. Looks like I'm watching a martial arts drama. Weird things to say
1. Even friends will get rusty one day, and love will also rot one day. In fact, it should never exist in the first place, right?
2. A man wrote 700 letters to his girlfriend, and finally... his girlfriend married the postman.
3. Behind every successful man, there is a woman who is full and has nothing to do.
4. I remember that a few years ago, single people were said to be noble, but in recent years, they have turned into dogs.
5. After Newton died, he left behind a bunch of formulas. After Qu Yuan died, he left three days of vacation. The Chinese still love the Chinese!
6. Mingming can rely on his reputation to make a living, but I have to work hard. This is the gap between me and Mingming...
7. If the sun doesn’t come out, I will I won’t go to school; if I come out, I will continue to sleep!
8. Men who treat women badly in this life will become seven-dimensional in the next life!
9. A cake got hungry while walking, so it ate itself.
10. Every time I see a handsome guy, I always feel a little guilty, and I always wonder how I can have anything to do with him.
11. Every foodie is a messenger of justice because they dare to challenge the "hungry forces". Brother, I admire your ambition very much. Your ideal is: to eat good meat from all over the world! Drink all the wine in the world!
12. There is always a group of invisible friends, lying in the friend list like dead people, occasionally pretending to be dead, and changing their epitaphs from time to time.
13. I lie down on the book. It doesn’t matter whether I study or not. The key is to have an attitude.
14. I didn’t like you the first time I met you, but who knew that the more I looked at you, the more I disliked you.
15. Sleep during the day, fight at night, and die when something happens.
16. If your partner doesn’t marry you in the future, then find someone to marry with the same surname as him, and then give birth to a son with the same name as him, MD. If we can’t become husband and wife, I will be my son.
17. The mistress is the greatest woman in the world. She has suffered a lot of infamy, but she helps you see the true face of a man.
18. The reporter asked: Are you happy? Suddenly, a passerby said: My surname is Li.
19. I have gained weight recently. When I smile on the phone, my face can touch the hang-up button.
20. Now I have the willfulness, but I am short of money.
21. Don’t think that drugs are the only things in the world that you can’t take off if you get them on. If you dare to get them on your long johns on a day like this, try taking them off again!
22. Why install a light in the refrigerator if it is not to let us get up in the middle of the night to explore for something to eat.
23. Is there anything more embarrassing than burping after coming out of the toilet?
24. Being in a daze, if done well, is called deepness. If you don't do it well, you are very likely to fall asleep...
25. Luminescence is not exclusive to the sun. Stars can also shine, glass can also shine, and fireflies' butts can also shine brightly. Man, be confident, you will definitely shine much brighter than a firefly's butt. A collection of the most weird and funny stories in 2020
One of the most weird and funny stories in 20xx:
1. I accidentally heard a conversation between a man and a woman. Man: Wife, I just saw One girl is good-looking and has long legs. She looks like a stewardess at first glance. Woman: Really? I’ll give you another chance and you can say it again. Man: Ah, yes, wife, I just saw an old lady. She was dressed coquettishly and had long legs. At first glance, she came out to do some work. Girl: Well, please be more careful next time when you speak
2. A: I went to my ex-girlfriend’s house today and saw that she cleaned it clean and was polite to me. Does she still love me? B : Haha, come on, she just wants to show that she is living well without you!
3. An old farmer was hoeing in the field, and a crow flew by and pooped out. On the face of the old farmer, the old farmer raised his head and cursed: CAO, your mother! You don’t know how to wear underpants when you go out! The crow said: CAO! You are wearing underpants when you are shitting!
4. It’s just a gust of wind, that’s all. It’s so eternal, it’s just a dream, but it’s so real. You lower your head and say nothing, but I can’t calm down. I finally can’t help but say to you: next time you fart, say it!
< p> 5. The man goes to propose marriage, and the girl’s parents: Please introduce yourself. A said: I have 10 million; B said: I have a mansion worth 20 million; the parents are very satisfied. Just ask C, what do you have at home? C answered: I have nothing, only a child in your daughter’s belly. AB was speechless and left. An important revelation from this incident: core competitiveness is not money and houses, but having people in key positions.6. When I was in school, there was a roommate in my dormitory whose feet were extremely smelly, and a buddy in the dormitory next door also had extremely smelly feet. One day the two of them were bragging, and my roommate said: If I take off my shoes, everyone in our dormitory will run away. The buddy in the dormitory next to me said: If I take off my shoes, no one in the dormitory can escape.
7. Dad, why is my brother called Jiefang? Our family has a tradition that as soon as a child is born, he should be called whatever he sees when he goes out. After giving birth to your brother, when he went out and saw a Jiefang car, your sister When it snows when you go out, you call it snow. Do you know what a piece of shit is?
8. My friend heard that the Russian ruble has devalued recently and wants to travel and buy some bargains. Just ask me which place in Russia is the most famous? I thought about it and said: I heard that Tetris is the most famous.
9. I looked at you frequently on the bus, and you looked at me frequently. I fell in love with you at first sight, but you were holding your wallet tightly.
10. Usually good-looking girls can get things done by acting coquettishly, but I have to rely on threats.
11. Getting up now does not depend on perseverance, but on the need to urinate.
12. The weather is very good today. After staying in the room for a long time, I am going to go to the living room to relax.
13. I have a friend. He said that he ate steak and various high-end products for lunch, and then went out to play. As a result, he got motion sickness and vomited a car full of instant noodles.
14. Have you ever really waited for someone sincerely? Yes! Who cares? Bus driver
15. I like to watch society girls, who have been around since junior high and high school. An inspirational story about someone who was so awesome that when he grew up, he worked as a waiter, dishwasher and handed out flyers.
16. Others stay in bed because they are rich and can sleep as late as they want. I stay in bed because I have no money, so every meal I can save is a meal.
17. In ancient times, carriages were very slow and letters were long. There was only enough time to love one person in a lifetime, but it could have many concubines.
18. You must walk the rest of the way well, and you have to carry me on your back.
19. I’m not bragging. Based on my current grades and study status, as well as my understanding of future economic trends, to be honest, I will sweep the entire city from now on.
20. I used to be a top student, but I was just curious about the world of underachievers. I went in to take a look, and then I got lost.
21. There is no such thing as a banquet that lasts forever, but if you treat me, I can eat with you for a while.
22. Some people say that I am handsome, and I laugh because I look even more handsome when I smile.
23. The furthest distance in the world is when the teacher is talking about Chapter 4, the top student is reading Chapter 8, and I am looking at the table of contents.
24. It’s so cool when a person is busy alone, with a face that is none of my business.
25. Some people say that playing with mobile phones while walking can lead to car accidents. Damn it, it scared me so much that I started running and playing.
26. I am just fat for fun, not as serious as you are ugly.
27. I stay at home because I am too cute to stay outside for too long.
28. I met a funny food delivery boy. When he arrived, he said with a serious face: 20 yuan a piece. I paid and he looked at me. After looking at each other for 5 seconds, he said silently: Sorry, I forgot to bring my lunch!
20xx’s weirdest and funny story 2:
1. If you have a reason to pretend to me, I can make you hurt!
2. Doctor, please prescribe some regret medicine for me, and give me a cup of love-forgetting water.
3. When I find my boyfriend, I will slap him twice. I have to ask, where have you been hiding all these years?
4. Because you are sorry, I decided to have nothing to do with you!
5. I am just used to having you, not that I am indispensable to you!
6. Don’t Smile at me with your pirated Mona Lisa smile. My stomach is not as strong as you think.
7. The only liar in the world is sincere, because he sincerely lies to you.
8. Sister is often imitated but never surpassed.
9. You are OUT, sister is priceless.
10. Play with me and I will make you cry rhythmically
11. It’s a pity that no matter how beautiful the little love song is, it’s useless, I have the ability to resist.
12. Hooligans do not distinguish between men and women, and their shamelessness has no bottom line.
13. There is a dead end ahead, but hope is around the corner.
14. In this world, only liars are real.
15. It makes you unhappy to see me, but I like it.
16. You don’t have to hide when you see me, because you don’t even catch my eye.
17. So much hatred, but I accept it.
18. Give me a 502, I will stick to him.
19. My tolerance may have exceeded the limit, please be sensible.
20. You can say sorry, but I won’t say it’s okay. The weirdest classic funny phrases in history
1. Class time is like a Nanfu battery, one session is longer than six sessions
2. This season is so confusing. There are people wearing clothes from all seasons on the street
3. When money stands up to speak, all truth is silent.
4. Grandpa said: "I have watched Xinwen Lianbo for more than ten years, but I haven't seen the finale."
5. Don't think that I don't know if you send text messages in class. Who would smile at their crotch.
6. When you are in a bad mood, go to the school gate and kick your bicycle. Kick one and fall in a row.
7. If I die, don’t forget to put an air conditioner in my coffin. , Gree’s.
8. Now that the sisters have come to this world, they have no intention of going back alive
9. Gold always shines, but when the ground is full of gold, I I don’t even know which one I am.
10. I finally understand why I feel sleepy as soon as I read, because reading is where dreams begin.
11. I think there must be many people who have a crush on me, because no one has confessed to me after so many years!
12. The best way to ruin a good song is to set it as a wake-up alarm.
13. If you don’t experience the collapse of Monday morning, you won’t know the value of Friday afternoon.
14. Being pregnant is like being pregnant. It takes a long time for people to see it.
15. Can eggs from all over the world unite to break stones? So you have to be more realistic as a human being.
16. When you put on the wedding dress, I also put on the cassock.
17. The sweat that flows on my body every day is exactly the water that entered my head when I filled out my application form.
18. When others hold hands, I will hold my dog ??and walk and swim to see who is unhappy and bites him twice.
19. I need to change my laptop because it takes 5 minutes to start up and the battery only supports 3 minutes.
20. I suggest that everyone should understand my appearance first and appreciate it secondly.
21. The best way to reject someone else’s ambiguity is: Sorry, I’m not interested in the opposite sex.
22. My ideal is to carry a load of dung on the street and throw it at anyone who doesn’t like it.
23. As soon as I get up in the morning, I feel the urge to take a nap.
24. When a person falls out of love, cats and dogs appear in pairs, making me seem inferior to pigs and dogs.
25. I turn just to meet you, but I forget that you will also turn.
26. You are all flowers of the motherland. I will pinch every one I see.
27. Think about the salary comparison, forget it, I don’t want to live anymore.
28. I look so strong on the outside, but I am hopelessly romantic on the inside.
29. I really don’t want to look down on you with my toes. But you forced me to do this
30. In this world, sincerity is scarce, so we should be frugal.