Old mothers are sad, widows are sad, and sadness is the most yin and yang. I can't expect to come back.
Sad child, sad father, father loves today without tears. Endless heartbreak.
70 days of mourning for my beloved father and seeing his back
On Friday, June 20 1 1, I will pay tribute to my old father again.
My old father died suddenly like this, riding a crane and leaving us forever. I was just talking, and suddenly I left life and death. How can I accept it? Living with my father every day, suddenly my loving father disappeared forever. Can you not be sad? Dad's life came to an abrupt end like the pure, mellow and elegant music we were obsessed with. It's not true, dad, you can't leave! You are the pillar of our family, the backbone of our family, and the tree that protects us from the wind and the sun. You can't fall, dad! Mom needs you, we need you, and the whole family needs you. When you fell asleep and didn't talk, the house suddenly lost its popularity and anger, and suddenly the mountains and rivers were eclipsed, and the sun and the moon were dull. You see that spring has returned to the earth, but without your father, spring is no longer peaceful and bright; You see peach blossoms are in full bloom, but without my father, peach blossoms are no longer brilliant; You see cauliflower scented with honey, but without your father, honey is no longer sweet and delicious; You see this world is strange, but without your father, this world is no longer wonderful and interesting. Dad left, and I suddenly lost all hope. Alas ... alas! It hurts. It hurts!
My father died unsatisfied and looked at the sky with wide eyes. Your brow is full of despair, helplessness and confusion. You are anxiously waiting for your trustworthy and dependent son to save you. Your father kept his eyes open and his mouth open. It seems that he is still calling your useless son to save you. But my son can't save you, and he is anxious to pour thick sputum back into the trachea. I saw that my hands pressed my chest and my mouth moved, but I still gave it to 120 for two times (on the one hand, they are professionals, on the other hand, I was exhausted for six or seven hours from 4 pm to 10 pm, so I gave it to 120 for rescue). In the end, I followed the crowd and gave up the most precious time to save you, so that 120 sent you to a dead end. Dad, I am guilty of a terrible crime. I look at your life numbly, but I can't help it. I'm sorry for you, dad, the crime I committed to you that I will never forget!
You don't want to die if your father dies unsatisfied. You always whisper, "It's better to blend in with the world than to be buried in the earth". You don't understand. You are blind and deaf, your hair is gray, your mind is clear, your body is getting better day by day, your chest tightness is normal, you have no blood pressure, and you have not been in a coma or rescued for several days. You are a wild horse flying in the dark, and the ghost wind is slanting away. My father was killed by AESOPD, and I don't know the condition and treatment plan. I am not reconciled. When you finally open your eyes to see the world, it must be a sign of your infinite nostalgia for the world and your infinite nostalgia for life.
Your father died unsatisfied, so you can't worry about the old lady. After your mother was in the hospital, you have been saying in bed that the old lady has gone. If mother has no job, she has no pension. My father said that once she lies down, the old lady's life will not be stable. Dad, have you ever known that until now, the old lady still lives in your world, and we always bring steamed bread back to you in the hospital. She often asks us in the hospital how are the old people at home? On May 4th, my mother came home from the hospital and asked the old man where he had gone. We made up a lie and told her that the old man had gone to the hospital again. The old lady asks the old man when to leave the hospital every day. Which one of you is in the hospital with the old man today, and what will you bring him to eat? The old mother doesn't know that you two have lived together for more than 60 years, but finally you didn't meet each other and suddenly abandoned each other without saying a word. We can't meet again, we can't be caring and attentive to each other, and we can sing old songs and idioms together. With your eyes open and your mouth open, you seem to be singing the last song for your mother, reminding her of the last forgotten poem.
Your father died unsatisfied, and you didn't see your grandson get married. Are you worried that your child can live a good life even if his father dies unsatisfied?
Do everything early, especially filial piety, and can't wait; Everything should be done seriously, especially filial piety. Whether parents can live a long and healthy life depends on whether their children are filial. Children have more filial piety, care and enthusiasm, and parents have more happiness, security and relief; Children have more disobedience, negligence and indifference, and parents have more pain, danger and sadness. My father's departure is the result of my fatigue these two days. If I don't have a headache and take a breath, I won't let my father leave. It is helpless for the old and the weak to prevaricate and find reasons to let the old leave early to shirk their due responsibilities, but they will be punished by God. Those unfilial children, in the dead of night, can ask themselves how their parents cared for us and abandoned us. In our childhood, parents are our handrails, and in our later years, we are their crutches. Without parents, we can't be today, and we can't be without parents all year round. Children should know that once the old man closes his eyes, any regrets and troubles will be of no help. Over the past few years, I have never dared to be careless, never had a trace of distractions to make excuses for my age, ignored the saying that people always die, and tried my best to take care of the elderly in a timely, scientific and accurate manner, for fear of relaxing and delaying them. However, in my father's last few days, I wanted to sleep all day, tired, dull and at a loss. I am in a trance, my mind is blank, and my brain thinking seems to have stopped. Dad, I'm sorry! Everything is my fault, it's all my fault! Why not send you to the hospital earlier this time? Why don't you ask Director Gu what medicine to take for phlegm? /kloc-why didn't you ask them for first aid before 0/20? Dad, poor dad, I miss you. Your son is becoming more and more incompetent as he grows older. It is not enough to entrust him in do or die! It was my fault, my procrastination, my ignorance and ignorance, which didn't give me enough strength to let my old father die. Can you not hate him? Can you not be sad? Pain, sadness, endless, my old father.
Even if you cry, you can't wake up your old father; Even if I go to Lacrimosa every day, it is hard to erase my guilt and sadness; Even though the world is changing color and the mountains and rivers are moving, it has not overcome the sadness and sadness in my heart. Someone kindly advised me that my old father's departure is a kind of detachment, and you are also a relief. Dad, I'm not relaxed when they don't know you're not here. On the contrary, I am extremely empty, dull and depressed. My heart is as heavy as lead. The longer it takes, the more I get. Sometimes when I suddenly read it or sleep at noon almost every day, I always dream that my father is gone, and my heart stops and I sit up at once. Just the night before, my father and I talked about Cai Wenji's separation from her son's female husband. Father blurted out the poem "One step is difficult to move, and the soul is scattered". Who knows that a sentence has become a prophecy and a portrayal of our father and son's farewell, and the reason is that the constant affection is constantly caring about my heart, so it is inseparable. Dad, I don't want to be so liberated and relaxed. I want you to live a long life, stay with you, wait on you carefully, be your doctor and nurse, bathe you, feed you and take medicine every day. My happiest thing is that I can call your father every day. Every time I open your door, I hope you ask who it is, and I will rush to you quickly and call my father kindly. I would like to hear you call my name at midnight every day and get up at once to serve you. I am willing to hold you every day and kiss your familiar taste. I am willing to push you out every day, just like you took me out for a walk when I was a child, chatting with you while walking.
I am fortunate to have a father and son in this life, and I feel that my father loves me for sixty years. When you see me again, I will repay my father's kindness.
20 1 1 June/Wednesday, kloc-0/5th.
Mei Yusi's father
The thunder is light and the rain is urgent, and parents are happy to hear the rain. Rain hits the banana, feeling as old as before, sad to see my father.
20 1 1 Friday, June 24th, 2008
(My father recorded 12 or 17)
I mourned for my father for a hundred days.
My father's fairy has been mourning for a hundred days, and her thoughts and feelings are constantly sad. Waking up is an empty and comforting dream, and my pillow is full of tears.
20 1 1 Saturday, July 9, 2008
My father passed away a hundred days ago.
However, I have only been with my poor old father for a month after retirement, and I have no reason to be with my father anymore. How can we not be infinitely disappointed, sighed and regretted? Dad, I told you. I will help you recover step by step, start a new life happily, and try my best to make you live to 100. Why did you suddenly close your eyes and leave? My poor old dad, how can you not enjoy my care for you, how can you not accept my filial piety? How can I not be sad and put it down? Go up after washing every night, and my father said, if you go up, I will be practical. I feel dependent with you by my side. Dad, actually, you are my spiritual pillar. I am practical when I see you, and I feel supportive when I have you. Dad, we depend on each other. You suddenly left, and my heart is always lost and unreal. How can I rely on it from now on? Dad, after you left, I have endless regrets and emptiness in my heart all my life. It's over. It's all over. My father's kindness and kindness in this life have come to an end. My good father, my dear father is gone!
Xi said that the old man is a burden to children, and the old man is just a rare wealth for children! It is a blessing for our younger generation that our parents are alive. I am a 60-year-old man, and my parents are complaining about their pain. I can spoil my temper in front of my parents. It has always been my pride. It is my supreme wish to take good care of my parents and not lose them. Pushing my parents out to play, someone learned that my parents were 90 years old and envied their longevity, but I was secretly happy. Alas, we have lost our father since then. We have no father, and we are no longer blessed. Dad, I don't want your grand funeral or your advanced grave. Either that or I don't want it. I just want you, living dad.
My father is a history book and my father is a walking dictionary. My father's life has experienced too many ups and downs, and you always have endless stories (I read the story of the assassination of Yang Yongtai, Chiang Kai-shek's "brain trust" in Yangzi Evening News the other day, and I never knew there was such a person as Yang. As soon as I asked my father, he immediately told Yang's story, which was similar to what was reported in the newspaper. You often tell me that the commander of the Changsha Battle was Xue Yue, who wiped out nearly 100,000 Japanese troops. My father's experience is rich and colorful, and you can always help me at critical moments. Changbai Mountain in the northeast and Gobi Desert in the northwest, my father was agile when he was young. In the north and south of the great river, in the south of Dongjiang, my father left traces of haste. Even a few days before his death, my father dreamed of playing Japanese devils in Nanjing (the departure of my father meant that the anti-Japanese veterans of China Flying Tigers (and the 14 Air Force) were dying). Dad, don't go, dad, you won't go, dad, you didn't go, you see, we are around your knees, waiting for your instruction; You see, we are snuggling up to you, waiting for you to tell the unknown story in your belly. Dad, the sheets on your bed are still covered as you usually sleep, so that I can always lie on your quilt and kiss you like I lie on you; Dad, all your belongings are intact. I can't bear to open, tidy and look through.
Growing up, we don't know how many parents have benefited us; Growing up, we don't know how many parents have benefited us. Even if you repay your kindness for a lifetime, you can't repay your parents' great kindness. Father is a model of life, teaching us to be a good person when we grow up; Father is our mentor and friend, and I still often ask him for advice until now. Father is our backbone and the most reliable backer when we are confused on the road of life. It is our parents who help us learn to walk, teach us to read and write, and teach us to be human. When we are unhappy, we will tell our parents more. When we meet something pleasant, our first thought is to tell our parents. When I close my eyes, I always feel that I am still sitting next to my father and being with him kindly. In a trance, father, you are still sitting in bed, having dinner with us, expecting me to accompany you, let me grind your head and chat with you. Dad, don't leave us. I have something to tell you. How I want to be happy to see my amiable father again. You listened to my nagging patiently and happily.
Dear dad, I cried holding the coffin and told you that I would take good care of my old mother and help my two sisters together. Dear dad, I cried holding the coffin, telling you that your descendants will remember your teaching, "Heaven makes evil, you Song Zhi;" If you do evil, you can't live. "You will be a good person. I will remember what you used to say, "A gentleman strives for self-improvement; The terrain is Kun, the gentleman is virtuous, and all of them are brilliant, adding luster to you and winning glory for you.
Dear dad, we will miss you forever; May your father have a pleasant journey and rest in peace in heaven.
Excerpt from the documentary "My Father in the Last Days"