When I used to rent a house in the town to go to school, after school with my brother, my mother liked to talk and laugh with an aunt in the yard next door, and gradually she seldom went.
One weekend, I suddenly remembered this and asked my mother. Unexpectedly, it triggered a series of complaints from my mother: I don't want to go again. Their home is boring to death. Whenever I go to someone, I will praise their children.
Who doesn't know that she is old enough to have a boy? Like there's no one else. Every time. Oh, look at my son. My son is really handsome. My son is really good at hitting people. What a mess. Don't want to go in the future.
The middle-aged plastic sister flower friendship between mother and aunt ended with aunt showing off her son.
I really don't understand why there are so many people in life who love to show off their wealth, beauty and baby. Everything should be in front of others, and you can try your best to praise your child on any occasion.
But such behavior will not only disgust others, but also affect the children themselves.
Some parents always look at their children with colored glasses, thinking that other children are just like that, but when they put them on their children, they feel that their children are super invincible.
I always want everyone to know that my children are excellent, and I try my best to show off my children in front of everyone. In fact, sometimes not only I become a joke, but also my children become the talk of others.
Children are not parents' accessories. The following behaviors of parents will only hurt and affect the healthy growth of children. Excessive showing off will make children lose themselves.
Everyone has read many stories about Shang. Everyone has known Fang Zhongyong for thousands of years, but few people can learn from it.
Fang Zhongyong, a gifted and unusual person, was dragged by his father to entertain and show off all the year round because of his greed, but he forgot to study hard and finally became as ordinary as ordinary people.
This story not only tells us that no matter whether we are smart or not, we should study hard and study hard, but also tells parents that when children show a little talent, they should not think about showing off too much, but also seize the opportunity to consolidate their talent.
Parents' responsibility is to make their children become excellent, instead of letting them follow the trend, love to compare with others, love to show off, and forget their hard work and efforts.
2. Children follow suit
Before the kindergarten picked up my niece from school, a group of children suddenly came out at the door when school was over. One of the girls said to the other.
Look, my shoes are Adidas, and my bag is Anello's. What about you? My mother said that I am full of famous brands and I can't play with children who don't wear famous brands.
I only heard from another child that it was childish. My mother said that girls should be more exquisite. I belong to Armani. My mother is a big fan of Armani.
The two children are still talking endlessly, but I heard that the three views have been subverted. For children who are still playing slides in kindergarten, do they really understand the meaning of famous brands? If parents don't intend to guide their four-and-a-half-year-old children, will they want to compare and show off some nothingness?
Children will hate their parents' behavior.
"Mom, don't tell others that I can play the erhu. Awkward. Mom, you are so annoying that the children around me don't play with me. "
Kiki's mother was severely hit by Kiki's words. It was really confusing to praise him and hurt him!
It turns out that Kiki's mother often sends Kiki's video of learning erhu and award certificates to friends, family members and school classes, and there is a long list of words of praise for Kiki every time.
As a result, when Kiki slowly went to school, she found that her friends stopped playing with her. When asked, it turns out that Kiki has become the "child of others" in her parents' mouth.
Other parents watched the video and praised it with disdain: Wang Po sells melons and boasts. But in fact, in private, they are more strict with their children, and they frantically report remedial classes and interest classes to their children.
In this way, the children's relaxed life was turned upside down by Kiki's mother, and Kiki naturally became the "public enemy" in the eyes of all children.
But in fact, every child's growth path is different and unique. If you are infected by the so-called show-off, it is very unfavorable for your child's growth.
Moreover, some parents who have a sense of superiority show off their children who have no bottom line, which will make parents of children who are already growing up feel inferior and make those children feel even more inferior.
Because of your words, "My Pippi won another trophy with the teacher in the dance competition this year." Other children may get a sentence from their parents pointing to their foreheads, "Why are you so worthless? Look at other children, they are just as delicious. How can there be such a big difference? It's a pity. "
Don't base your happiness on others' inferiority and false pandering, which is not good for yourself and others, nor does it mean that you can't praise and show off your children.
I just hope parents can pay attention to the following points: 1. Show off your attention to the occasion.
There was a topic before. The mother whose child was admitted to Tsinghua always talked about how excellent her daughter's performance was among her classmates and how fierce she was admitted to Tsinghua, and she was quickly kicked out of the group.
The reason given to her by the group owner is: Your daughter's admission to Tsinghua is great and excellent, but can you consider the feelings of other people in the group, and how uncomfortable it is for parents with poor children to see your words?
Step on other people's pain points to stimulate others. If you are small, you are heartless. Being older is immoral. I didn't ask you not to get sunburned, but please pay attention to the occasion.
Show off that your daughter is more beautiful than the bride at someone else's wedding, and show off that your child ate three big steamed buns at a meal when someone else had a stomachache. He is a big eater, so proud of his children.
2. Show off the process rather than the result
In my circle of friends, there are two people who love to bask in the sun, one is the parents of students and the other is a university teacher.
However, neither person hates it. The former basks in children's filial piety, the second grade of primary school steps on a small bench to cook noodles for mother, and the flowers made for mother by hand on Mother's Day make people feel warm.
The latter basks in children to explore knowledge and enrich themselves. The children in the fourth grade of primary school love climbing mountains, exploring, doing handicrafts at home and having a wide range of interests.
Every time the teacher sends out many pictures and words, there are failed desserts, crooked handicrafts and failed finished products.
The teacher's words are always positive before negative, praising the child's willingness to make progress and saying that the child is not doing well. Showing off is not offensive. People who have seen it will think that the child is very practical and does as well as his mother says.
3. Reduce the times of showing off and enrich the fields of showing off.
Don't always boast that your child's child is a good baby, how smart and sensible he is, and show off the point.
If your child is only good at calligraphy, everyone will know each other once or twice, and you don't have to brush your sense of existence in front of everyone too often.
If a child's advantages are recognized and praised by everyone, parents should not be too proud and reduce the number of exhibitions, but should pay attention to cultivating and discovering more advantages of children.
Let children broaden their horizons and learn more knowledge. There is a good saying: flowers bloom and fall, butterflies come. If your child is really good enough, you don't have to bask in it yourself, others will take the initiative to praise it.
It is easy to destroy a child, and parents can praise it blindly without a bottom line.
There is an old saying in China: Full pain, moderate harvest! Teaching children to learn modestly is more important than deliberately showing off.
Don't let the children's world be infected by the false interests of adults early. Children are children and have a happy and simple childhood.
Having an open mind and a humble attitude is what children need most, what children should have most, and what parents should accumulate for their children.