Let children become gentle and happy people. Parents always impose their likes and dislikes on their children, hoping that their children will go on according to their own arrangements, whether they like it or not, but life is their own. Let the children choose by themselves and be a gentle and happy person.
Let the child become a gentle and happy person. 1 As the saying goes, "Nine times out of ten things go wrong." In this world, nothing can be satisfactory. Parents should encourage their children to learn patience and self-control when they are angry when they see their children encounter unpleasant things, and then solve problems rationally and tolerably. If parents blindly scold their children when they see them angry, they will let their children's anger stagnate in their chests and form a cold and withdrawn character.
Intimidation can only play a temporary role, and the result may be that some children form a cowardly character, while others will become extremely stubborn and difficult to control. It is also not advisable to coax children with food or toys. Over time, children will become more angry and threaten their parents when they understand the role of anger.
Therefore, parents should take effective measures to guide and educate their children correctly, which must not be taken for granted.
Parents should strengthen their self-cultivation. If parents are often angry and abusive, then children will be angry with them. It should also be noted that when parents give orders to their children in a time-saving way, the children feel incorrect and unreasonable, so they fight in anger. At this time, parents should affirm that the child is right and admit that the child's order is wrong, but explain to the child that even if the parents are wrong, they should pay attention to the child's attitude.
If the child is angry with his parents, and parents and parents can't get along, parents should not be angry. They should tell their children calmly that nothing can't be solved. If they have something to say, they should sit down and talk it over. It is wrong to lose your temper and get angry. We should respect each other. If the child doesn't listen to his parents' advice and sulks alone, his parents can walk away and ignore him. If a child destroys something, parents will resolutely stop it.
In this way, wait until the child is angry, then argue with the child and ask the child to make mistakes in the angry behavior. Parents' serious and tolerant attitude helps children to get rid of their angry bad behavior.
Let the children be gentle and happy. Everyone wants their children to be "prodigies", so many parents try to cultivate their children's interests in various fields from an early age. However, Ms. Yang Lan, a TV presenter and media entrepreneur in China, doesn't think it is good to be a child prodigy, nor does she require her children to have outstanding achievements in any way. She sincerely hopes that her children can become a happy person and bring happiness to others.
Yang Lan has only four expectations for children! And she is more practical, and strives to cultivate children's habits and qualities of loving sports, being compassionate, being good at expressing and having a sense of humor.
Not perfunctory, not sloppy, and take every little thing of the child seriously.
1996, Yang Lan gave birth to a son in the United States; On June 20th, 2000, 10, Yang Lan gave birth to a baby girl weighing 6 kg in Shanghai, fulfilling her mother's dream of "the daughter of China". Because of work, Yang Lan can't stay with her children all the time, but in the critical period of their growth, Yang Lan is always with them.
In the first few months after the birth of the two little guys, Yang Lan insisted on breastfeeding; In the years after the child was born, Yang Lan always took it by herself. Although it's a little hard, Yang Lan thinks it's worth it.
Yang Lan still remembers a scene when his son was more than one year old. It was Yang Lan's first long business trip after his son was born, and he had to leave his son for five days. When I went home that day, Yang Lan found that the expression on her son's face was particularly layered. First, she turned away. After holding it for a long time, she cried with injustice. Finally, Yang Lan brought out all her tears.
Her son's incomparably rich expression was heavily fixed in Yang Lan's heart, and she realized that children could not live without their mothers since childhood. Before the age of three, what children need most is security. If they accidentally cause losses, it will be difficult to make up for them in the future. Later, she made up her mind to give up all her work and ordered herself to be a "full-time mother" at home for a whole year.
Yang Lan was very satisfied with her original decision. This is a great year!
However, contradictions cannot be reconciled every time. When my daughter was only three months old, she happened to meet the Olympic bid Committee. Yang Lan had to run back and forth between Beijing and Shanghai. What should I do? There are all kinds of reluctance in my heart, and I have struggled hard, but in the end I have to wean my daughter in advance.
Speaking of this matter, Yang Lan still looks helpless. Fortunately, my daughter who is now in primary school can understand and jokingly say, "I also contributed to the Olympic bid!" " "
Mom is really not omnipotent, but at least she can do this-she is not careless or perfunctory in the face of every little thing of her child. This is the rule that Yang Lan set for herself. Now every time she goes on a business trip, she will tell her two children in detail before leaving: how long to go, when to go home, morning or afternoon, after dinner or late at night. ...
Yang Lan is very busy and can be described as a trapeze artist. Under such circumstances, he can become one of the parents with the highest attendance rate in children's piano school and can accompany his son to travel to 15 countries before he is eight years old. This is really surprising. Nowadays, Yang Lan often flies between Beijing, Shanghai and Hong Kong, but in order to spend more time with her children, she will arrange for her son to meet her at the airport every time she goes on a business trip. Back home, no matter how tired and busy Yang Lan is, she will take time to communicate with her children, talk to them wholeheartedly, listen carefully to every word they say and devote herself to their world. The children are very smart, know that their mother is hard, and make time to accompany them.
When she is with the children, Yang Lan will play puzzles, tell stories, fight and watch movies with them. Some time ago, I watched "Don't mess with ants" and shouted at the children while watching it. Childishness has brought a lot of happiness to Yang.
Not nervous and demanding, let children grow up in reality.
The child has grown up and it's time to go to school. What kind of school should they go to?
In terms of attention to these things, Yang Lan is very different from most parents at present. According to the conditions, Yang Lan can easily find aristocratic schools, characteristic schools, or international schools that are more conducive to learning foreign languages. But whether in Shanghai or Beijing, Yang Lan insists on choosing ordinary public schools for her children.
My son is now in the fifth grade of primary school. After so many years, Yang Lan has never asked a tutor for him, nor has he done any extra tutoring for his school work, nor even asked him to be the best in the class. Yang Lan clearly remembers that the only cram school arranged for children is to learn China's calligraphy.
Yang Lan has such a principle that no matter where children go and what they do in the future, they are all from China, which can never be changed, so we must let excellent China culture permeate into their blood. ...
Yang Lan also made trade-offs and comparisons. Relatively speaking, Chinese is more difficult than English. If children don't have a Chinese writing environment since childhood, it will be difficult to learn Chinese well. Therefore, the course that children need to focus on when they are young is not Olympics or English, which is precisely the language that many parents ignore today.
There is also a "selfishness" in Yang Lan's choice to let her children go to public schools, that is, to let them contact the most real life and live in the environment closest to social reality. This kind of growth environment is real and reliable, which is beneficial to children.
As we all know, the current exam-oriented education makes the competition between students very fierce, and every mother is worried about whether her children can adapt. Fortunately, Yang Lan's son's academic performance is not bad, and he can always keep the top three in his class. Speaking of his son, Yang Lan made no secret of his appreciation for his son.
When Yang Jiang and his wife first named their son, they joked that it would be "Wu (nothing) so-called". I wonder if there is such a joke. My son really doesn't care about grades and personal gains and losses. Many students with good grades in the class usually take part in extracurricular tutoring such as Olympic Mathematics and English. My son can face it calmly at an early age and tell his mother: "I am participating in an unfair competition!" " "
In fact, it is by no means "indifferent" to anything. For example, Yang Lan will encourage his son to compete for the class leader, donate the lucky money to his classmates suffering from leukemia and actively serve them. These are all things that Yang Lan values very much. If a son wants to be a good monitor and a good cadre, he must strive to be excellent in all aspects, including his academic performance. ...
Once, my son had an argument with an unruly classmate in the class at school, which led to a heavy counterattack. The son quietly dragged his classmates into the toilet to settle the matter: first, he had a fight and was tired of it. My son apologized that he advised me wrong, but his intention was to safeguard the honor of the class, so please forgive me and finally shake hands ... When my son told his mother about this, Yang Lan praised him for being able to solve the contradiction independently instead of complaining to the teacher easily. Yang Lan said that discussing with children what they care about is actually the most important thing for mothers to concentrate on, because it is often the best time to teach children to be human.
A psychologist once said, "No matter how careful you are, your child will leave some psychological trauma." Therefore, Yang Lan always told herself that mothers should not be too nervous or too demanding of their children. Many times parents and children are the most natural relationship, and it is important to make yourself better.
Yang Lan also hopes that children can be more influenced by art, so she arranged for them to learn to play the piano from an early age. Unexpectedly, in the same home, the situation of her son and daughter is completely different: the son became impatient after less than a year of study and backed out; Despite her brother's "bad example", my daughter was fascinated by the piano from the beginning and asked to play more and practice more every day, without being urged by others at all ... Yang Lan realized that adults' ideas really shouldn't be imposed on children. Many times, there is no need to care whether the child's choice is consistent with his own. Parents who are too deliberate may be counterproductive in their children's education.
Once, my son's school held a get-together. The teacher communicated with Yang Lan in advance and asked her to make a three-minute speech at the meeting. Even Yang Lan herself didn't expect that she, who has experienced numerous big scenes, would be extremely nervous about this three-minute speech, for fear that she would make the teacher dissatisfied, that her parents would feel melodramatic, and that she would lose face to her son. The son saw his mother's worry and her seriousness. After she finally finished speaking, her son spoke highly of her. Yang Lan concluded from this: "In fact, children will also be very concerned about their parents' attitudes. "