"Afraid of seeing orioles smiling in my hometown, and spending the spring in Chang'an" comes from "Falling in Chang'an" written by Chang Jian of the Tang Dynasty.
Meaning: When I return home, I am worried about being laughed at by the warblers and flowers, so I can only spend a spring in Chang'an. This sentence expresses a complex emotion, on the one hand it is homesickness, on the other hand it is helplessness.
The whole poem is as follows:
Failed in Chang'an
Chang Jian in the Tang Dynasty
It is a good thing that his home is still in the Qin Dynasty, but it is a shame to be a lost man in the Ming Dynasty.
I am afraid that I will see the orioles smiling in my hometown and spend the spring in Chang'an.
The explanation of the whole poem is as follows:
My homeland remains the same, but I still stay in Chang'an, ashamed that I am still an unhappy person in my official career even when the politics are clear and bright.
When I returned home, I was worried about being laughed at by the warblers and flowers, so I could only spend one spring in Chang'an.
Word and Sentence Notes
The good thing is: still the same.
Shang: It is often used in the previous clause of a complex sentence to express concession in order to trigger the following. Here it means "still" or "huan".
Qin: This refers to Chang'an.
Shame: This is the conative usage, meaning "to be ashamed of".
Mingshi: refers to the time of political clarity.
Losing the way: refers to a person who has failed in his career and is unsatisfied in his official career.
Laugh: to laugh. One said it means blooming flowers.
And: for the time being, for the time being.
Appreciation
Failure in the examination room has been an eternal pain in the hearts of scholars for thousands of years. Countless scholars have experienced bitterness in their journey to become officials. Throughout the ages, countless literati have expressed this emotion in their writings. Chang Jian's "Lost in Chang'an" and Wu Mingshi's "Miscellaneous Poems" fully depict the disappointment and pain of Jin Bang Wuming, as well as the helplessness and sadness of returning home shamelessly.
After the Sui and Tang Dynasties, the imperial examination became the only way for most feudal scholars to advance into officialdom. Due to the important status of the Jinshi Department, whether or not to win the Jinshi often determines a person's fate. The poet Du Fu failed in many examinations, so he lived in poverty all his life; after Zhang Xiaobiao failed, he wrote a poem about returning to Yan: "The mud in the old Liang dangerous nest has fallen, and this year it is hindering the flight to the front of the society. There is no shelter in the Lianyun Building, who else can I hope for?" "The door flies." reflects the desolate and hesitant mentality of the failed candidate. However, Chang Jian's poem is different. The whole mood is high-pitched, expressing the poet's determination to avenge his shame, and reflecting the vigorous atmosphere of the times in the prosperous age of Kaiyuan.
"The good thing is that my home is still in Qin" means: My home is still in Qin near Chang'an. This sudden sentence is clearly an answer to someone else's question. Everyone knows that the competition for Jinshi is very fierce, and the vast majority of candidates will be eliminated. Among those who are far away from home and fail, there must be a large number of them. Zi Ke lives in Chang'an, waiting to try again next year. Du Fu was trapped in Chang'an for ten years in order to seek fame. But for Chang Jian, whose family is in Qin, it seems unreasonable to stay in Chang'an. Some people from other places may ask him: You must have moved to another place. Why don't you go home? Therefore, the poet first answers this question at the beginning of the sentence, and then explains it.
The second and third sentences describe the psychological activities after failure. The ancients said, "Knowing shame is close to courage." The word "shame" shows the poet's great courage to admit failure and not be reconciled to failure. The word "laugh" in the third sentence has an ambiguous meaning. Some people interpret it as ridicule, which means "making excuses to laugh at people." But in this case, the conclusion is purely passive avoidance. In fact, Yinghuaxiao means the orioles are singing and the flowers are blooming. In the early Tang Dynasty, Cen Xi wrote a poem: "The flowers are smiling and the orioles are singing to welcome the emperor's carriage, and the clouds are covered with clouds and the sun is shining down on the imperial river." The oriole flower is a representative scenery that can be enjoyed in spring, echoing the "spring" in the concluding sentence. The ancients said: "A year's plan begins with spring." The poet said that he was afraid of encountering the brilliant spring scenery of his hometown, because it would easily trigger the past pleasures and waste time, which would lead to the embarrassing situation of failing to succeed in trying again, so he took the initiative to avoid it. This is the sense of crisis and fear reincarnated from "shame".
On the basis of these two psychological activities, we have the determination to conclude the sentence: The family is thinking about shame and will not return, "and spend the spring in Chang'an." As you can imagine, this spring is a time for people to stay in peace and study hard behind closed doors. There is a saying: Where there is a will, there is a way. Chang Jian finally got the Jinshi title and got his wish.
Failure is the mother of success; by understanding this poem based on Chang Jian's life, it seems that we can understand some philosophies of life.
About the author
Chang Jian (708-765), a poet of the Tang Dynasty, whose name is unknown, is said to be from Xingtai or Chang'an (now Xi'an, Shaanxi Province), who was born in the 15th year of Kaiyuan He was ranked as a Jinshi with Wang Changling. He was not satisfied with his long career as an official. He traveled to famous places and lived a wandering life for a long time. Later he moved to live in seclusion in Ezhu. In the Dali calendar, he served as Xuyiwei.