Send the post of climbing the mountain on the weekend to your best friend.
Xue: I can't climb.
Me: I can't climb either.
Shadow: I can't climb. ......
My intuition tells me that they say they won't go if they can't climb up, but they still ask: Are you going or not?
Two girlfriends: I can't climb, I won't go!
......
Really!
I suddenly remembered Li Xiaolai's amazing discovery that "people may make diametrically opposite decisions for exactly the same reason".
This "two decisions with exactly the same reason but diametrically opposite" reflects two thinking modes defined by psychology-rigid thinking mode and growth thinking mode.
It seems that the ability is not enough, but different decisions are made because of ideological and cognitive deviation. I don't know that it is precisely because of the rigid thinking mode that the ability achievement is solidified.
02
As the saying goes, thought determines behavior, behavior determines habit, habit determines character, and character determines fate.
Carol Dwek, a professor of psychology at Stanford University in the United States, has studied for decades, which is the best proof of this sentence.
Professor Carroll found that some of our basic beliefs about ourselves shaped our psychological world, which in turn determined our behavior and subtly created what we are now.
How much we can achieve in life, whether our life is colorful or not, and whether we can become the kind of person we want to be, it is not our ability and talent that play a decisive role, but what kind of thinking mode we choose, whether it is a rigid thinking mode or a growing thinking mode.
The rigid thinking mode makes us stop at our present self, and only the growing thinking mode can make us surpass ourselves step by step. Maybe one day we will be pleasantly surprised to find that we have made incredible changes and become the kind of people we once expected.
Yes, we still have a choice. In the past, we may have a rigid mode of thinking. If we believe and are willing to change, we can also have a growing mode of thinking in the future.
03
Simply looking at the two words, rigidity and growth, we seem to understand the difference between these two modes of thinking at once. Even at first glance, almost no one will think that they are rigid thinking patterns, such as:
I believe that most of us, especially young people in their twenties, will answer yes without hesitation!
The prenatal education we received in our mother's belly, plus ten or twenty years of study, has greatly improved our intelligence and ability. As the saying goes, a leopard cannot change his spots, and it is not impossible to move, so it is unlikely that he will choose not to.
Then what parents have learned, what teachers have taught us, and our own experiences, when we reach a certain age, our lives will be very different and our cognition will be very different.
Come and see our psychological and behavioral responses to the following situations:
Are we still so confident that we are a growing mode of thinking?
04
Most of us subjectively think that we are growing up, but our actual thoughts and behaviors are rigid.
Take last year's writing class for example. Some friends are blunt when they hear about it: they are not twenty or thirty years old. Why do they have to learn to write when they are so old? ! The implication is: how can you write a flower when you are so old and still learn to write?
I didn't want to write flowers at first, so I had to write flowers? Can't you enhance your literary accomplishment? ! Can't you train logical thinking and expression skills? ! Isn't it good to enrich your spare time? !
But in the past few months, I obviously feel that the more I write, the more I feel that I have to write. The more I write, the more I realize that writing helps me think deeply and improve my cognition. The more I write, the more I want to write seriously. Maybe I can really write flowers!
People with similar ideas are rigid. Will they be surprised if they see what happened to Mr Zhao Muhe in Taiwan Province?
05
Zhao Muhe was born in 19 1 1 and retired from Kaohsiung Normal University at the age of 66. Before he retired, he was ordinary and unknown. After retirement, he began to live for a period of time.
Maybe retirement is too dull and lonely. At the age of 75, Zhao Muhe decided to travel to Europe.
Besides knowing some letters, he can say "yes" and "no". Mr Zhao Muhe hardly knows English, but because he doesn't have much money and pursue fun, he can only "travel around" with a backpack like a young man.
Save money by burning the midnight oil and use empty seats as beds; You can also curl up in a telephone booth and sleep for one night; If you don't know English, find a Chinese restaurant and ask the waiter to help you write down the place he wants to go on a note. With the sophisticated experience of "following the backpack crowd, you can go to a good place", you will never worry about getting lost. ......
That's it. The 75-year-old Mr. Zhao, who doesn't know English and has little money, spent five months alone in Europe, visited the Eiffel Tower, visited Shakespeare's former residence and sang on the Rhine River.
He said: "If it takes a long time to prepare for a trip abroad, you must know the language and have money, then you will never go abroad in your life."
What is even more surprising is that Mr. Zhao Lao was admitted to the university at the age of 87 and got a master's degree at the age of 98.
Zhao Muhe found that learning is one of the secrets of staying young. "When the brain moves, people live." .
He is a standard "I want to learn", with white hair and false teeth, full of passion and sleepless nights.
When his master's degree thesis passed smoothly, some students didn't even understand the topic of the thesis. A classmate couldn't help sighing in his blog: "It seems that I am still a young man."
It is precisely because we don't use our brains that many of us become more and more rigid, which leads them to further believe that this rigidity is the inevitable result of age and aging.
If you think so, it must be like this-the more rigid, the older, the older, the more rigid, and enter a vicious circle.
If you don't agree with the view that "people live only when their brains are moving", you will actively participate in your study and life like Lao Zhao Man He He, not have a brilliant mind like Lao Zhao Man He He, but also have a wonderful life like that young man.
06
Sister Sasha's mother, mother Xu, is 82 years old and is a living inspirational idol around me. She gave me great courage and confidence.
Xu's mother started practicing yoga at the age of seventy, and now her body flexibility is many times better than when she was a few decades younger.
In Xu's mother's photo album, there are still photos of her hands holding her legs when she began to practice plowing. Xu's mother said that her arms and hands were locked to the ground, which was the most difficult movement and she practiced for a long time.
At the age of eighty, he began to practice calligraphy and learn pen drawing. Looking at her first pen-and-ink drawing, I suddenly thought that Xu's mother was very talented!
However, when I picked up my pen and took photos myself, I found that the so-called talent may be because adults have more advantages than children in learning to draw, and our ability to observe, plan the layout of articles, and follow the gourd painting gourd ladle is much more mature.
As Xu's mother said, ink painting can't be altered if it is difficult to draw a stroke, so you should observe carefully before writing, and the whole painting should be well aware, so that you can put pen to paper without regret.
If you copy too much, you will accumulate a lot of materials in your mind. It's nothing at all to draw a picture casually, just like "reading thousands of books and writing like a god".
There is a saying that talent determines the upper limit you can reach, and the degree of hard work determines the lower limit you can reach. With the low level of efforts of the vast majority of people, it is still far from reaching the point of fighting for talents. I'm impressed.
Now, mother Xu has finished painting 300 Tang poems, an A4 piece of paper, a poem, a painting, notes and explanations, and bound them into several volumes.
Look at them carefully with surprise and admiration, while paying tribute, as if a little girl was fascinated by a picture book when she was a child. ...
Sister Sasha often travels with her mother Xu, who is also her "royal photographer". The photos she took for Sasha's sister are better than many of us in composition, light and clarity.
07
I didn't climb before because I couldn't climb, because I thought I had no talent and couldn't draw, because I couldn't do it well.
Over the past year, I have deliberately used a positive growth thinking mode to face the weaknesses in my life and work, and successfully translated it into: I need to strengthen my exercise because I can't climb-I want to climb! Without talent, I can follow the picture! It is because you can't do it well that you have to think about how to do it well!
I climbed, climbed again, and experienced the comfort of blowing on the top of the mountain. Under this heroic sky, other mountains were dwarfed. And the confidence that I can and can come back!
Because I have been painting for a while, I can still draw a stick figure of a little dolphin and a big pineapple at will, boasting that "it is enough to enlighten my grandson!"
I drew a cartoon seriously that day, and my friends praised me. I think I can create an expression pack! Oh, my God, suddenly found a talent? ! Hey hey!
When we change the rigid thinking mode into the growing thinking mode, less envy and hate, more thinking about how to do it, how to do it well, and put it into action, we will be pleasantly surprised to find that we are really making progress bit by bit, and we can do it ourselves!
An inch of joy will in turn promote our actions. Unconsciously, we are on the track of a virtuous circle, and life is full of passion and vitality.
Unfortunately, you can't do it without trying!
Wen participated in the first episode of "Meeting Happiness from the Heart". A psychological essay that can be read and heard. Come too!