The topic is a bit ridiculous and a bit accusatory. "What did I do wrong, and I have to accompany my children to do homework?" She felt "too much in line" with her mood.
She pulled out the needle and left a message at the end of the article: "At this moment, I am gloriously lying in the emergency room for first aid. The reason is cerebral hemorrhage. I deeply doubt that it is caused by teaching children to do their homework. Please don't let me accompany him to do his homework. "
Chen Jing always laughs at himself for being "broad-minded". The emergency doctor wouldn't let her get out of bed, and she dared to walk around. Her parents asked her to find an "iron rice bowl", but she ran out to start a business. Chen Jing is now the principal of an art training school, managing more than 30 full-time teachers, and can easily cope with students and parents. Only her own children's homework has become a worry to her.
Her message of "cerebral hemorrhage" received a surprising number of praises and replies, and was called "special medical record" by netizens. Another striking "medical record" came from an unidentified netizen. "I accompanied my son to write homework until the fifth grade. Later, I was hospitalized for a heart attack and made two stents."
After reading these replies, Chen Jing found so many like-minded people for the first time.
Give full play to
Chen Jing could have lived more easily. When her son Jun Jun kindergarten entered primary school, she chose a school that advocated "happy growth". "I don't want my child to have too much academic pressure. I just want him to study music well."
Throughout the first grade, Dajun did not write any homework, and his grades were among the best among boys. However, in this summer vacation, Chen Jing found that there is a big gap between military wives and former kindergarten students in terms of writing norms, literacy and writing ability.
Chen Jing felt great competitive pressure and decided to look for "good educational resources". The newly opened campus of a famous local school is short of students. She can pay 1000 yuan a year, and her son is "lucky" to be transferred here. "My home is 5 minutes' walk from my old school, and now it's 15 minutes' drive, but I'd like to." She said.
After school started, Jun Jun's performance gave Chen Jing a blow. Although there is really not much homework, he always drags his feet and writes his homework late every day.
"Generally, I am prone to collapse when he writes Chinese homework, and I often wander off when I write. I quickly reminded him to write quickly. I just don't want to write, and I don't have to write if I want to muddle along, but that's impossible. I knocked him with a small bamboo stick to remind him to hurry up. Ok, write two words and slip the number. "
Chen Jing believes that if he didn't stare at his son's homework every day, he wouldn't be furious. "This may also be the deep responsibility of love! In fact, it is the contradiction between parents' high expectations for their children and their growth rate. "
In Shanghai, a child with high expectations and excellent grades has a name "Bullfrog". Generally speaking, the route for a standard "bullfrog" to go to school is a private primary school-a private junior high school-a public high school-a key university. The son of Shanghai mother He Ling is now 5 years old, and his biggest hobby is building blocks. But in order to abide by this "route", she began to force her son to learn to write numbers and pinyin in July this year.
He Ling said that if parents want their children to enter a good private primary school, they can only do their best and "go all out" from kindergarten.
But her son can write a word 10 minutes, wipe and wipe, "even a simple number 3". She once set a countdown to let the children watch the time and write. As a result, the children either wrote in a mess or just sat there.
Between the three states of "unbearable, gnashing one's teeth and unbearable", She Ling started an infinite cycle.
He Ling thinks that she and her husband are not the kind of parents who "played chicken blood". What they asked their son to do was the lower limit required by the primary school teacher. Even so, she was recently "scolded" by the teacher of her son's logical thinking class, saying that the child's symbols were not well written.
In He Ling's impression, she learned to write Chinese characters in the first grade of primary school, and didn't know the copybook until the third grade. Only after using a pen did she know that there was a pen to write with. But now some children in large classes in kindergartens in Shanghai begin to learn to write pens, because teachers in the first grade of primary school all ask for it.
As early as 20 13, the Shanghai Municipal Education Commission asked all primary schools in the city to strictly implement the "zero starting point" teaching for freshmen and not to speed up the teaching progress at will. However, Zheng Li, another Shanghai parent, thinks that there are not many parents who really feel at ease to let their children enter school at a "zero starting point". "I think this is a game. If you don't run when others are running, then you are behind. "
Fighting is just the first battle on the starting line. As Shanghai implements the "May 4th Educational System" with five years of primary school and four years of junior high school, the preparatory work for "junior high school" is advanced to the third and fourth grades accordingly. Private primary schools with high quality students often start the accelerated mode in teaching. When public primary schools are honestly promoted according to the outline of the Municipal Education Commission, private primary schools have already surpassed the outline.
Zheng Li said that private primary schools and public primary schools have the same textbooks, but the test difficulty is different. There is a "scissors gap" between what you learn in the syllabus and the "junior high school" exam. "This rhythm is the reason why everyone is eager for it."
It's not that these parents don't understand the truth-He Ling also admits that studying too early puts a burden on children at the age when they should be playing. She is also particularly distressed to see her son passively resist homework in a daze, drinking water and going to the toilet.
However, the teacher's strict story circulating in the parents' circle made her have to be ruthless. The word "horizontal and vertical, and pen" of a friend's daughter was directly evaluated as "no" by the teacher; A key primary school teacher often punishes a boy who can't write well for homework until the afternoon 1 1. Cases like this stimulate He Ling. She hopes that her pain today will be accompanied by writing, so that her children will not be embarrassed by teachers when they go to primary school in the future.
A kind of torture
No matter whether you struggle all the way from a small county in Shandong to a "schoolmaster" in the Capital Research Institute, or you graduate from a technical secondary school to work as a clerk in a nail salon in a small town in Hebei, you will find that the parenting concept that parents can work with confidence and children can learn consciously will not work for you.
He Ling told her son that "nobody was in charge" when she was a child. Every day she goes home, puts down her schoolbag, does her homework, and then goes out to play. Who knows that her son thinks this experience is incredible and asks her, "Why do you do your homework alone?" ? Why don't your parents care about you? "
Before going to work in a nail salon in Hebei, Lin Ting took full care of his son for a year. At that time, although the children's grades were not top-notch, they were still "top-notch". After her son was in the second grade, she wanted to give him more exercise and only came back to accompany him at night. Results In the first two exams, my son's math score has been stable at 50-60.
It means pain for Lin Ting to accompany her homework every day. Usually gentle, she struck the table hard when she talked about math problems, and cried with anger, scaring the children. On another occasion, she saw the "58 points" on her son's test paper and directly picked up her mobile phone to warn her sister, "Don't have children, it's useless except to make you angry."
With limited knowledge, Lin Ting speculated that her troubles might be caused by the revision of textbooks. She studied clocks in the fourth grade and horns in the fifth grade, and now her children study in the first and second grades. Sometimes she also thinks, is it that she is too tight, and the child is not independent? But in the face of reality, she dared not try again. "If you let go, he will completely let go of himself."
A senior primary school math teacher in Hebei said that the textbooks are really difficult now. In the past, there were only four units in a book, and one unit made the content of the corresponding part particularly thorough. Now the teaching materials are gradually infiltrating. The first grade knows clocks and watches, and the second grade learns minute-second conversion. But she thinks that children are smarter than before, textbooks are more difficult and problem-solving skills are more flexible, which is actually an improvement.
According to Chen Bing, a Chinese teacher in an international school in Beijing, there is not much difference in IQ between children, and the poor self-care ability is the chief culprit that leads to the difficulty of children's homework now. For example, he said that some children will mix Chinese, mathematics and English, and they can find 10 minutes when they turn over their homework; Some children never work, and even parents do their duty in class. For such students, even if the teacher tells them to "judge the questions and grade them", it will still have no effect.
At the same time, toys, cartoons and tablets within reach are also shaking children's unreliable self-control. Song Ping, a math teacher at a key primary school in Beijing, said, "It's different now. Children are exposed to too much media. For him, the world is too busy, which is really a temptation. "
Recently, Song Ping also noticed that today's heavy extracurricular classes are also aggravating children's procrastination. There is a girl in her class who writes her homework very slowly, and she is distracted when she writes. It was not until the parents were invited that Song Ping knew that the child's mother was very good at art and calligraphy, and she gave her children extra-curricular classes for writing and painting every day.
"After school, my mother must give me some work. Then I simply don't worry, slow down. " Song Ping said, imitating the tone of the child. If you finish your homework before going to bed, you can avoid the extra tasks of your parents. Over time, children may even come to the conclusion that "writing while playing is not bad".
wide gap
Although parents regard accompanying homework as an endless journey, in the eyes of teachers, parents' companionship is only the only way for children to grow up.
Chen Bing teaches Grade Three this year. He estimated that at least half of the parents were tutoring their homework. In this regard, he did not object: "The lower grades must be accompanied. Only when you get used to it can you let it go. " In the habit formation stage, parents can help children develop better writing posture and ability to examine questions.
Song Ping, who has been teaching senior three, said that by the next semester of grade three or grade four, some children will have a desire for independence. Children don't want their parents to accompany them, which is a good opportunity for their parents to quit. Among the fifth-grade students she taught this year, only about five or six children in each class need their parents to accompany them in their homework. Most of them have a problem that "the lower grades have not developed the habit of listening attentively".
Just as parents in the city are arguing about homework on the Internet, the voices of parents in rural areas are unexpectedly missing. Sun Lei, a rural primary school teacher in Huaihua City, Hunan Province, told reporters that 44 children in his class are basically left-behind children, and only 4 children can be accompanied by their parents.
According to Sun Lei's observation, all the four children are in the top 10, and one of them is the first. They also behave well. As for those children whose parents don't take care of them, there are basically problems such as late homework, improper behavior habits and graffiti.
Zhou Fang, who works in a rural primary school in Anyang City, Henan Province, also said that none of the 62 children in the class were accompanied by their parents. "Our class is seriously polarized. If the degree is good, parents don't care. If the degree is not good, parents don't care. "
In the view of rural primary school teachers, the different emphasis on education is the main reason why parents in urban and rural areas have different attitudes towards accompanying homework. Sun Lei attributed this phenomenon to the widespread "reading uselessness" in rural areas. In the past, villagers thought that only reading could change their destiny. Now they think that even if they can't find a good job after finishing college, parents won't pay a great price for ordinary children's study. The way out for most local children after graduating from junior high school is to go out to work.
Zhou Fang found that local parents have a very strange concept of education. They generally attach great importance to the education of children in schools, but they are indifferent to peer education. These parents don't even want to spend more time with their children, thinking that letting them check and correct homework will increase their burden.
When I first learned 26 English letters in Grade Three, a child in my class always confused the handwriting of the letter Y with the handwriting. Zhou Fang told their parents that if they really don't understand, they can let their children practice on the red copybook. She said it three times before and after, and the parents agreed happily every time, but the format errors in the exercise book still exist.
Having met too many indifferent parents, Zhou Fang admired those parents who struggled with exercise books. She believes that only parents have high hopes for their children's future will they get tired of accompanying homework. If you want your child to grow up, you must make a lot of efforts, which parents should do.