The overall structure is good, but unfortunately I didn't pay attention to the press. Just pay attention to the change of stroke thickness. Brush is not a pen, so you need to pay attention to the instructions when you start and close the pen. At the end of a pen, you can't take power at will. You should lift the pen slowly, but keep pushing. In short, it can't be like you, and it's all gone in the end. You can consider the famous copybooks and you will probably know.
The structure is good, but the brushwork is not enough I can't see it clearly on the computer.