Script 1:
Double reed
Prologue: Today, we will perform a double reed. It's interesting to talk about the double reed. It requires one person to perform in front and the other person to say lines in the back. From a distance, it looks like a person. This requires that the performances of the two people should be very tacit and very cooperative, otherwise the double reed will not be called double reed. Hurry up, hurry up, put on makeup, as the saying goes, people accompany clothes and horses with saddles, and people are not beautiful until they are successful. After this person is successful, let's take a look, it is better not to be successful! Next, we will bring you a new work called "Happiness Makes Sorrow". I hope you like it!
a: the city of life is precious, and the price of love is higher. In order to earn RMB, I am willing to become a shemale. I haven't introduced myself yet. My surname is Zhao, and I was nicknamed Zhao shemale. When friends present see me later, just call me by my nickname. Ask me what my nickname is and tell everyone that my nickname is shemale. I am a shemale, I am a shemale, am I really a shemale? (stop, stop! ! You come out, how can I come out in your mouth and become an adult demon? Am I a shemale?
b: sorry, never, never!
a: my surname is Zhao, and my name is Zhao Zhixiang. the media said that I look very special, and my face looks like slippers. Because of this, many singers sang a popular song for me because of this reason, which quickly became popular. What song is so influential is the song "I am not Zhao Zhongxiang" sung by Rollin Wang. thank you (Stop! Is this the song Rollin Wang sang? People sing "I'm not Huang Rong", so what kind of cultural level is this performance! Never! ) my job is to promote sales. I have a unique skill in promoting products. I talk glibly and talk straight, and if I can't do it in the end, I will be spoiled. My biggest feature is that I am in good health, and I have never been to the hospital in my life. Yesterday, I went out to sell, aiming at one, saying that I wouldn't buy my product for a long time. I spent more than 3 miles with him and finally sold a bottle of brain black essence, a product mentioned in the entry that won the first prize in the first sales essay competition of Guangxi University of Finance and Economics. In order to celebrate the success of the sales promotion, I took a bite. Yay! Doctor! Cut your appendix! ! How much money?
b: 2!
a: 2! Ah! Doctor! Don't cut your appendix with that knife! You just came straight here! I'll give you my whole life!
b: that's a lot of money, right?
a: 8 at most!
b: 8! Ok! 8 is 8!
a: ouch! Cheap! ! 2 was counteroffered to 8 by me! Do you want to pay a price for everything you buy? 8 yuan to cut the appendix! The fish head I chopped yesterday was more than 8 yuan! Tomorrow I'm going to call the whole family to have their appendix cut together! Here's 8 doctors! Hurry up! Hurry up! Take the heat!
b: take what heat! It's not while the iron is hot! I'm in surgery! Get ready! Ah! By the way, do you want an anesthetic?
a: ouch! What's wrong with you trying to kill a pig? Nowadays, you have to use anesthetic to kill pigs! Why don't you kill me!
b: you only have 8 yuan! Where is the anesthetic?
a: anesthetized! Why don't you play anesthetic! If I don't get anesthetized, my screams will kill me!
b: anesthetic! Then 8 yuan a shot!
a: 8! Doctor, what are you doing? Or do you want to play XO
b: imported anesthetic! Local anesthesia!
b: doctor, which brand of anesthetic is so powerful?
a: xiaoxiao jiuquan brand anesthetic. after it's finished, it's just like the feeling of death. I don't feel anything.
b: doctor, do you have anything cheaper?
a: there are cheap ones! The effect is not guaranteed! You wake up when you wake up, and the place where you should be numb is not numb, and the place where you shouldn't be anesthetized is anesthetized for a long time! It is irresponsible of me to affect your physiological function and marriage life after going abroad!
a: ah! Imported, imported doctors! Playing the anesthetic with a smile in Jiuquan brand, the side effects of cheap goods are too great! I can't carry it!
b: ok! Give it a shot! Does it still hurt?
a: ouch! Whether it is money or money, goods are goods! If you shout hemp, you will get numb!
b: we're ready to disembowel! Ask your opinion, does this scalpel need to be disinfected?
a: doctor! Knives are not sterilized!
b: disinfection costs 5 yuan!
a: then no need! I brought a lighter! It's the same if you burn that knife on that fire twice!
b: you patient is full of ghosts! !
a: that can't be helped! It's no use meeting a doctor like you!
b: disembowel! Oh dear! Oh dear! It's bleeding! Oh, you are so bloody! It's so high! Do you want to stop the bleeding?
a: of course we have to stop the bleeding! Why don't you stop bleeding, doctor?
b: do you use hemostatic gauze or a rag?
a: doctor! You still have a rag to stop bleeding!
b: that hemostatic gauze costs 5 yuan!
a: ouch! You can have a lot of money! Stop the bleeding first! It's killing me!
b: yes! If you have this attitude, it will be easy for me! Stop the bleeding first! Open the wound! Find out the appendix and cut it off with a knife! Congratulations! The operation was a complete success! One last question! Are you going to sew it up?
a: doctor, what are you going to do to let me go out empty-handed? If you go out, you have to attract flies
Script 2: Double Spring
Characters: A 1, B 2 Props: a chair, a box of makeup powder
1: It's finally our turn to perform for everyone.
2: Yes, hey, by the way, you just said you would test me below, so let's do it in front of everyone.
1: Hehe, well, do you know what "double spring" means?
2: double spring? It's just two yellow eggs ~~!
1: small sample, and two yellow duck eggs?
2: No, I'm just kidding you. Would I know about Shuanghuang? Double reed is a form of performance of Quyi.
1: You know, then you can talk about it in detail ~ ~
2: Simply put, the double spring is a form in which one person plays in front and one person says in the back, and you can't say what you want to play and what you say can't be performed.
1: So ~ ~ Do you think you can perform the double spring?
2: of course.
1: yo yo yo, then I have to test you well today. I'll say it later, and you play it in front. How about that?
2: it's all right, just come.
1: ok, we'll start as soon as you clap your hands.
(2) Sit in a chair and clap your hands. )
1: My name is Wang Erlang, the winner of the top ten singers. What? You don't believe me? Then I'll give you a song, and everyone should
pay attention (singing) (at this moment, it sounds a little strange, so stand up. )
2: Come out! Are you singing? It is also the winner of the top ten singers.
1: Hehe, I won the last prize that time. Hey, hey, you can't perform. Table
Tell me if I can't perform ~
2: Who says I can't perform? It's just ~~
1: OK, OK, I'll change it to another one. Now change it. What do I say and what do you perform?
2: no problem!
(2) Sit down again, clap your hands, 1)
1: Hold out your chest, tuck in your abdomen, lift your hips and hold your head high, then close your eyes, extend your right hand, bend upward at a 45-degree angle, extend your fingers, stretch back, open your mouth, put it in your mouth, bite, bite, bite hard.
2: come out!
1: what's the matter?
2: What's the matter? Do I need this hand like you?
1: didn't you say it was no problem?
2: No problem, no problem. My hand is gone! ~
1: Hehe, well, I'll change it again.
(sitting down again)
1: Why do I feel something itchy on my face?
I reached out my right hand and hit my left face, and reached out my left hand and hit my right face.
Reach out your right hand and hit the left face.
Reach out your left hand and hit the right face, ...
Reach out your right hand, hit the left face and reach out your left hand, ...
(At some point, B stood up and left ...)
1: Come back, it's not over yet!
2: if I keep fighting, I'll become a pig.
1: It's time to make a curtain call
2: Return to the scene and make a curtain call together
Script 3:
Props: a chair, white oil paint, and a handkerchief soaked in water
(At the beginning, A enters the stage from the left to the center)
A: Yes.
b: distinguished guests, friends, ladies and gentlemen, good evening!
a: who are you? Come here and mess around!
b: I'm old.
a: where are you old?
b: I'm old.
a: I knew you were old, didn't I? What are you doing in the customs?
b: isn't this our secretarial tribe celebrating the National Day in my heart today? I'm here to give you a performance.
A, can you still give a performance?
B, why didn't they win?
A, Zhong, what did you do?
B, I'll show you a double reed.
A: Double reed? Do you, do you know what a double reed is?
b: I really don't know, so tell me what a double reed is.
a: double spring, which means "two yellow eggs".
b: bah, what a mess.
a: I'm joking. In fact, simply speaking, the double reed means that one person speaks in the back and one person acts in the front. You can't say what you want to act, and you can't act what you say, so that you can't learn by speaking.
b: after hearing so much from you, I'm afraid these two reeds have a lot of knowledge. Why don't we give you a performance?
a: ok, let's try it? You say it in the back and I'll play it in the front.
b: ok, then clap your hands and we'll start.
a: (sitting in a chair, clapping)
b: Lao Huang, I'm 33 years old, and my weight has exceeded 33. Ask me why I'm so heavy. It's just the policy of the * * * production party, which makes me drink more and eat more! I didn't talk about the dishes at noon today, but it was really good. There were flying in the sky, running on the ground, frying and frying, steaming and barbecue, which took my eyes away. Regardless of him, I took a bite of meat and soup, I took a bite of meat and soup, I ate meat and soup.
a: scratch it if it itches!
b: no, you can't talk.
a: ah, if I go any further, I'm exhausted! Why don't we change? I say you play.
b: just change. in this world, no one is afraid of anyone, but I have to do this first.
a: friends, as the saying goes, this man depends on clothes, and his horse depends on saddle. This man, if he doesn't dress up when he is old, he just doesn't look good. There is an old man next door, Li, who is over 7 years old. He has paid special attention to dressing up since he saw Zhao Benshan's sketches. Hey, don't tell me, since uncle Li dressed up, his waist has gone sour, his legs have stopped hurting, and his feet have stopped cramping. He went up to the fifth floor in one breath without breathing, and when he went to the street, he could attract a group of old ladies to make eyes at him. Hey, how is it harder for this boy to change clothes than for that big girl to get on the sedan chair? Hey, Lao Huang, are you ready?
b: ok, here we are.
a: let's take a look at his dress. oh, my god ...
b: how about it? it's handsome.
a: you might as well not dress up.
b: what are you talking about? it's officially started this time.
a: you can perform whatever I say, but don't, you can't perform what I say.
b: I'll act whatever you say. Only you can't say it. There's nothing I can't act.
a: friends, at first, he had to listen to me. I told him to go east, but he didn't dare to go west. I told him to chase the dog, but he didn't dare to drive away the chickens.
b: why do you talk so much nonsense?
a: ok, here we go.
A: Hold your chest out, close your hips, hold your head high, then close your eyes, hold out your right hand, bend upward at a 45-degree angle, hold out your fingers, stretch back, open your mouth, put it in your mouth, bite, bite hard.
b: fuck you, I'm crazy.
a: didn't you listen to me?
b: whatever you say! Listen to you. I lost my hand.
a: don't get angry! I'm just trying to see if you can act. Now it's official.
b: come on.
a: see what I can do with him. (speaking to the audience)
(singing) There is a sun in the sky-(speaking) big, big, big
(singing) There is a young man on the ground-(speaking) hot, hot, hot
(singing) I don't know, I don't know, I don't know why I am so hot, so hot.
I took out a handkerchief to wipe my sweat,
I drank a glass of cold water to clear the fire,
I took off my coat to blow the wind,
I pulled off my tie to let it cool;
(singing) The north wind blows, snow in the wind,
It's freezing, so I keep stamping my feet.
What's wrong with me? I don't have a fever. I'm in a fog. I really should fight in such a cold day.
a: I reached out my right hand and hit my left face, and reached out my left hand and hit my right face.
A: Reach out your right hand and hit the left face.
A: Reach out your left hand and hit the right face ......
A: Reach out your right hand, hit the left face and reach out your left hand ...
At some point, B stood up and left ...
A: Come back, it's not over yet!
b: if I keep fighting, I'll become a pig.
a: it's time to make a curtain call.
b returns to the scene, and makes a curtain call
and bows off.
Script 3: Crosstalk
Happy New Year's Day
A: Hello, happy holidays!
b: hmm? Festival? What festival? Is it your birthday? Congratulations! Congratulations! Bring the red envelope! A: What a mess! His birthday is long past!
b: oh, it's not your birthday! So what day is it today?
a: no way, you don't even know what day it is?
b: why should I know? Is today important? A: Of course! It's a holiday for all of us.
b: oh, I see, it's national day!
a: ah, it's not October 1st yet.
b: that's women's day! let