The bride jade qing for the upcoming wedding, excited, full of longing:
"I held my chin in one hand and looked at her two bridesmaids gloomily. Jade Qing was careful not to look happy-happy to get married, as if she were an old maid. Jade Qing's face is smooth and open, like a new bed; Plus the weight of sadness, it's like someone sitting on a bed. "
Her family is a big decadent family, and his parents chipped in 50,000 yuan for him. According to Chinese and foreign customs, most of the money should be spent on the furnishings of the new house, but Jade Qing spent all her money on herself:
"She thinks that when a woman is willful only once in her life, she can't help but make good use of her rights as much as possible. So when she saw what she wanted to buy, she felt determined and sad, so her sadness about the dowry was not entirely fake. "
This mentality is like the Russian girl in Zhang Ailing's novel "When I was a Child":
"In the whole wedding ceremony, Cynthia was the only beautiful person. She seems determined to leave some good memories for herself. She held a white candle and bowed her head piously. The upper part of her face was in the shadow of the veil, the lower part of her face was in the shadow of candlelight, and her faint smile emerged in the swaying light and shadow. She created the mysterious and dignified atmosphere that a bride should have, although the priest was listless, although the incense gang was surprisingly dirty, although the groom was impatient, although her dress was rented. This is the only day in her life. In general, it is worth remembering, and I will remember it when I am old. "
Relatively speaking, Western Qin is more sad. Jade Qing and mainland couples are knowledgeable and calculating. "Pick the trivial first, put it last, and then ask for it when the money is used up." For example, you can't buy a bed. If there is no money, the old people can't face up to it. I will definitely buy them.
Jade Qing's dress is also rented, taking a photo with the groom. "She pulled the veil down to cover her face, and her face was blurred. She seems to have accidentally photographed the shadow of a ghost. Yu Qing was very dissatisfied and decided to rent a dress and remake it later. " The wedding dress carefully prepared did not make the bride shine at the moment, leaving a good memory. After marriage, the band began to March again. When the bride went out, the white dress seemed to have worn out and her face was old. " Reality is always unsatisfactory.
Mrs. Lou, Jade Qing's mother-in-law, should be very happy to see her son married a daughter-in-law. But she:
"It suddenly occurred to me that when she was a child, she stood at the gate and watched people get married. Back-to-back brutal blows suppressed the bride's crying, and the sound of gongs made her feel like a knife. Under the scorching sun, the colorful tassels of sedan chairs fluctuate in the rows of lake green, pink and red, which makes people dizzy and sleepy at noon, like realgar wine on the Dragon Boat Festival. The bearers showed patched blue shorts under embroidered clothes, and a yellow and thin neck stuck out from it, sweating like a meat bug sticking out of a jar. The bearers and drummers walked in line, and all the way was a gorgeous swing. Onlookers are integrated with them, and everyone is shocked by a great joy outside them, and their hearts are shaking. "
Strangely, Mrs. Lou's own wedding should also be a traditional wedding, but her memory of this ceremony scene is not her own, but someone else's. It seems that she is more fascinated by the red and green wedding with loud gongs and drums, but for her son's happy event, she feels "small, somehow." For her, 30 years of married life has taught her that "marriage is not like that." Perhaps because of this, she didn't have the excitement of watching other people's weddings as a child.
Generally speaking, weddings are always exceptionally grand. For many women, such as Yu Qing and Qin Xi mentioned above, this is the most brilliant, happiest and carefree moment in their lives. At that moment, she became the center and her value was completely realized. Why do you attach so much importance to weddings? Because of its contractual nature. It is said that in some countries in northern Europe, the cohabitation rate of like-minded people has reached 90%, replacing the form of marriage. But for most people in the world, marriage is still so important. People who love each other not only need to live together, but also need to publicly announce their relationship through the sacred ceremony of wedding, so that their feelings can be crowned by marriage. Like many homosexuals, they not only fight for the right not to be discriminated against or punished, but also fight for the right to legalize marriage.
However, sacredness is more of a form after all, and the essence of marriage is still piled up by countless ordinary days. Marriage may be the temple of love, the grave of love, or it may have nothing to do with love. Louis said that when love becomes God, love becomes the devil. Marriage is not love. Those thrilling love stories are often love at first sight, ignorance, short-term blindness, or beautiful dreams left behind because they can't get together. Marriage focuses on the problems after "coming together".
Marriage is an adventure, a bet, a hammer sale and a test of confidence. In the form of marriage, the cost of divorce has greatly increased, especially for women. In order to maintain marriage, marriage has become the purpose of marriage itself. As long as the husband and wife grow old together, their children and grandchildren are full, no matter whether there is a soul fit between husband and wife or not, and how many bitter days there are, it is worth it in the end and is considered as a sign of happiness. Marriage became a maintenance meeting.
Mrs. Lou is like this. She is "like a day for thirty years". Making old-fashioned flower shoes for my daughter-in-law is just to "have the opportunity to hide in childhood memories, which is pleasant", which is exactly the memory of the days before marriage. Seeing this rose-red vamp, my husband ridiculed that "there is still time to get that in his busy schedule"; The daughters also laughed at their mother because their daughter-in-law bought shoes for herself. Mrs. Lu acted as if she didn't care. She is used to playing an insignificant role in the family.
My husband has a degree in America, and now his career is quite successful. Although his taste is only arty, he really despises his wife. He can say to his wife:
"Don't cut your hair into a duck's ass, ok? It is better to shave your hair and save trouble! Don't wear snow socks, okay? Don't roll your socks under your knees, okay? Don't show a black beard in the crotch of the cheongsam, okay? "
How disrespectful these words are to women! If you are too anxious, you always say it in a discussion tone. In the eyes of outsiders, he is a "famous good husband". And how many people think that these two couples are not suitable for each other, "it is unfair to the teacher." Of course, Mrs. Lou allows Mr. Lou behind her back, but sometimes she will deliberately embarrass Mr. Lou in front of others to earn some face. In front of people, Teacher Lou always gives her three points. He thinks like this:
"For no reason, she wants to spread a fierce name and set her free; Anyway, he has sacrificed a lot, and it is better to be a good husband. "
Mrs. Lou knows that being a conscientious husband is for others to see. The husband thinks he cares about all the big and small things in this family. More than once, he would complain in front of his relatives. "Mrs. Lou herself feels wronged by her husband, and there is really nothing to say about the grievances in her heart."
The way for the couple to get along for 30 years is to keep their emotions from erupting. Husband's anxiety became the tone of discussion; The wife gargled in the bathroom alone to vent her anger.
Marriage is not only a relationship between husband and wife, but also a relationship with family;
"Mrs. Lu felt lonely and desolate. Lou's family is big, beautiful and powerful. Her beloved, her husband and her children always try their best to test her and rediscover her shortcomings again and again. Her husband loves face and is sociable since he was poor, putting her in various difficulties and discovering her shortcomings again and again. Later, the family was prosperous. It is said that these two days should be a happy day. Unexpectedly, the scene was big, and she found that she was not enough. "
"However, if she is told to go another day and has no chance to dress neatly, she will be unhappy and lose something. Prosperity, irritability and embarrassment are all life. Mrs. Lu felt a sharp pain again.
After 30 years of unsatisfactory life, there is no better alternative, which is enough for her to learn a new way to deal with things and temper her philosophical life wisdom. Mrs Lou's outlook on life is Camus's existentialism. She can't say hope or despair about the present and the future, nor can she say how sad she is. She's just "upset" about what happened to her! Trouble! "Occasionally, she will suddenly feel disgusted with everything around her, and she doesn't know whether it is her husband or the person who looks at them as a husband and wife. "
There are also boring feelings, such as witnesses talking about new morality, new ideas and national responsibilities, hoping that the couple will work hard to create small citizens in the future. Everyone laughed in harmony. Moreover, on the second day of the wedding, the new father-in-law, Mr. Lou, who is good at communication and entertainment, actually asked his daughter-in-law in front of the whole family: "What do you think of getting married? Do you still like it? " Daughter-in-law doesn't want people to feel "not enough" She hesitated, released an extremely generous look and replied, "Very good." Say that finish face slightly red. A room full of people laughed again, some were not sure, some didn't know what they were laughing at.
This is boring, too. Marriage and happiness are sometimes for everyone to see. Lou's two unmarried sisters, Yu Qing's cousin, are still looking forward to a happy marriage, that poetic feeling.
Wang Yi said, "All human marriages begin with joy and end with sadness"; "Social corruption begins with family corruption". Don Gary said, "Behind every unhappy marriage, there is an unrepentant sin."
In fact, marriage is not so good, nor so bad. Marriage is life. Marriage itself is neither sacred nor secular, but in the secular life of "peers", it becomes a channel leading to holiness. This is a lesson of confidence, which requires not only the efforts of a specific party, but also the broken people to cooperate and fulfill each other. Only in this way can there be a little hope in life.