How to cultivate the ability of "quietness"

Read more books. I think I can calm down because of reading. In the four years after I graduated from college, I have been very impetuous and can't read any books at all. Many books are just a few pages, and sometimes even novels can't be read. I picked up this book after I got pregnant. At that time, I thought, for the healthy growth of children, I must force myself to study. I bought a full set of parenting books and prepared a beautiful notebook, and finally got myself into the state. Of course, after giving birth, chickens fly and dogs jump, where there is still time to study. It was not until my child was seven or eight months old that I officially went to work and had some time to myself. However, I also found that buying books is also a problem. If you only look at the best-seller list and those advertisements, sometimes the books you buy will be very disappointing. By chance, I found a reading software. At first, I bought books according to the list provided by it every month, read one book a week, and submitted reading notes and experiences as required. Now I buy books according to my own preferences, combining the list of books on the software and the list recommended by some friends in the simplified books. The rhythm and frequency of reading are as close as possible to their own reality, and gradually find the pleasure of reading. When reading, you must choose a good book. However, many good books are difficult and easy for people to read. Take Walden, for example. Sometimes you get distracted when you read it. My experience is that at the beginning of reading, no matter whether I can get in or not, no matter how much I can remember after reading, I force myself to finish reading according to the established plan, such as reading a book in the first week. It is emphasized here that you must make a good plan, otherwise you will find that your reading plan will always stay at the beginning.

After reading this, read the next one immediately, just like doing homework, and finish it as required, whether it is digested or not. Gradually, when reading becomes your habit, you will find that books are not so boring. You can happily pick up a book and read a few pages without being forced. Even if you don't read for a few days, you will feel uncomfortable all over. Reading cultivates sentiment. We all say that. But only when you calm down and read dozens of good books will you really find this statement true. Read more books, your ideological level will be improved, you will not be deceived by the appearance of things, and you will be able to see through the essence of miscellaneous worries. We will know more about our weaknesses and difficulties. If you are overwhelmed by irritability, please go to school. If you don't understand, you have to force yourself. Because this is the fundamental way to really calm you down. Cultivate a hobby. Have you ever had such a time? I don't know what to fill in the hobby column on my resume. Reading? Exercise? Chasing drama? Playing computer games? What can I fill in without revealing my shallow side? We live except work. However, we have turned life into a monotonous repetition. The general state is that when you are tired from work, you have to cook, clean up the housework and take care of the children when you get home, and finally you can have a rest. Often you are not brushing your mobile phone, chasing a drama or playing a game.

As the days go by, some people get promoted and raised, some people are doing a thriving sideline, some people are basking in their own baking works and illustration art, and some people have traveled all over the great rivers and mountains of the motherland ... What about us? Always envy other people's poetic distance, anxious about the unchanging life. We always look forward to what we will do after making a lot of money, but with our greed, when is the end?

Just look at Fei Jing to see how important hobbies are. Medicine and cooking accompanied her through countless long nights, and also made her gain countless joys and happiness. Some people say that reading, traveling and music are not hobbies, but leisure. Hobbies refer to certain things, or skills that can be achieved by semi-professional groups after years of study. Running, baking, calligraphy, flower arrangement, drinking tea, collecting cups and so on can be done. If you really don't know what hobbies you should cultivate, you might as well learn to cook. Only love and food in this world can live up to it. When you are depressed, the utility of a good meal is greater than the words that do not represent it. After all, stomach satisfaction can bring more satisfaction to the heart.

Hobbies are not to please others, not to prove themselves. They are just the Garden of Eden to rest, the flowers to decorate life, the tea after busy work, and the food to enrich the spirit. Hobbies are like a window of life. Open it and clear the haze in your heart. Most importantly, hobbies are a good medicine to cure your impetuousness.

Learn to surrender. Some time ago, I saw Zhang Defen's "Meeting Unknown Oneself", which was very touching. The sentence that has the deepest influence on me is: the most important thing to break the emotional barrier is surrender. We are impetuous and angry because we are unwilling to accept the reality and always complain about others. When unfortunate things happen, our first thought is, why am I always unlucky? Never thought about what we should do.

In the play, both Mei and Mei are resigned to everything that fate has given them. They have never felt the injustice of fate and never resented the pain imposed on them by others. Only if you can accept it, can you get rid of the interference of bad emotions and be proud of the wind, frost, rain and snow in your life. The advantage of submission is that when you accept the present and stop wasting your energy to fight in vain, things will often take an unexpected turn for the better, and you will find that the original struggle is really in vain. Moreover, it is precisely because you can completely focus on what is in front of you, and sometimes you will find a better solution to help you get out of the immediate predicament or the situation you don't like. We can't calm down because we don't want to surrender. We often envy other people's good family background, envy everything they have achieved effortlessly, and resent our obscurity, but we can't learn to accept our present situation. If you don't accept it, you can't see yourself clearly; You can't change if you can't see yourself clearly. When you calmly accept the unfair treatment imposed on you by life, you will find the direction of your efforts, just like a ray of light suddenly emitted from a cloudy sky, which is enough to save your life. Surrender is the first step towards inner peace.

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