What is a real "match"? Its past and future generations tell you the answer.

0 1 On family status and marriage, the Eastern Jin Dynasty was the strongest in history. Why did the talented Xie Daowen marry Wang Ningzhi, who was later despised by her? Because it was arranged for her by her uncle Xie An, commander of the Battle of Surabaya. Wang Ningzhi's younger brother Wang Xianzhi, the head of the "four big families", cried and married the princess. However, when Xie An's father Xie Shangshu couldn't marry a noble girl for another son, Xie Shi, he was directly rejected by Zhuge Liang without mercy. Zhuge Hui's family is really great. The eldest daughter married Qiu's son, and the second daughter married Xuzhou secretariat's son. Later, Yu was killed by the rebel leader, and Zhuge's eldest daughter remarried. Zhuge Hui's own son married Deng You's daughter. These marriage partners are all aristocratic families, and they are in power for a while. Xie Shangshu married Zhuge Liang's third daughter for his son Xie Shi. Zhuge Hui refused in this way: "The Yang family and the Deng family have been attached to us for generations, the Jiang family is my care, and the Yu family is my care. I can't be attached to the Xie family any more." Because, at that time, Xie An was not a romantic prime minister, and Xie Jia had not really risen, ranking among the giants of the halls. This is not a child's marriage at all. All right! There is no mention of Xie Shi's personality and talent. Just because his family status is out of proportion, he can't pass the first level. In the final analysis, what they want is mutual benefit between families, * * * and * * glory. This kind of marriage is also a major feature of the door valve system in the Eastern Jin Dynasty. The real "door to door" and "door to door" are the names of buildings. Generally speaking, the exterior decoration of residential houses is a symbol of status, which is only available in the houses of nobles and officials. On both sides of the gate of Yuelu Academy in Changsha, Hunan Province (see the above picture), there is a stone pier, on which is supported a round stone drum with exquisite relief patterns. The two stone carvings are soft and pale yellow, elegant in style, very simple, heavy and beautiful, which makes people praise each other. Two stone carvings are "doorways", which stand at the entrance of the academy and mainly play the role of a town house. Doorways are carved in stone and cast in copper, with different shapes, many of which are lively and exquisite works of art. Judging from the shape and exquisiteness of the door, the master's taste level can already be seen. Where there is a door, there is a door. They are in pairs. Attention! Family pair is the "symbol" that truly reflects the social status of this family! Doors should be on both sides of the door, opposite to the door, embedded in the lintel, which is a square wood or log with regular hexagon. If it is a stone gate, the door pair is made of stone (see the picture below). Civil servants' families use squares and officers' families use circles, which is not sloppy at all. There are two pairs of households on the lintel, and the grade should be five to seven grade officials, and four pairs of households are officials above grade four. Twelve households, right I guess most people can't see it, so it should be Wang Fu. Paint with oil paints or pictures, or write greetings such as good luck and longevity, which are colorful and decorative. If colorful lanterns commensurate with the social status of this family are hung in front of the door, it will be more prosperous. In this way, outsiders only need to look at the decoration in front of the house to know if this family is an official. When the position and rank are generously displayed, the host and guests will know what manners to treat each other with and will not be rude. Similarly, if you can't make progress in intermarriage, people at the same level are the best targets! Is there anyone in history who has a happy marriage because of "the right family"? Yes The most famous of them are Wang Xizhi, the son-in-law of Dong Chuang, and his wife. What is a "son-in-law"? Xi's father, Chi Jian, was a famous politician and calligrapher in the Eastern Jin Dynasty. He and Wang Dao, the four prime ministers of Wang, Xie, Huan and Yi, are good friends and want to choose a son-in-law for themselves in the Wang family. Wang Dao readily promised that the Wangs had twenty sons and nephews to choose from. When the government came to choose a husband, the sons of the Wang family made preparations in succession, hoping to be selected, and only Wang Xizhi didn't care much. However, the teacher Chi Jian said, "This is him." So he married his daughter Xi Long to Wang Xizhi. In fact, most people in Chi Jian know something about Wang Xizhi. As a calligrapher himself, he should have heard of Wang Xizhi's calligraphy. He has read many poetry books since he was a child and loves calligraphy. His marriage to Wang Xizhi is a perfect match. Sure enough, the two of them have become a rare model couple in history, and they have seven sons and one daughter, which is both blessed and blessed. The other pair is Li Qingzhao, a poet in Song Dynasty, and her husband Zhao Mingcheng. Li Qingzhao's father, Li, is a scholar and writer, and her mother is also a scholar. Zhao Mingcheng's father was also a minister of the Northern Song Dynasty and a scholar. Li Qingzhao and Zhao Mingcheng, one writing poetry and the other studying epigraphy, are young, romantic, harmonious and happy. They also wrote "The Story of the Stone", which is really a talented and congenial couple. Interestingly, there are also negative examples in history that are embarrassed because they don't talk about "being suitable for each other". For example, Zhuo Wenjun and Sima Xiangru in Han Dynasty, Cui Yingying and Zhang Sheng in Yuan Zhen's works in Tang Dynasty are rich or expensive women, or poor or cheap men. Men first pursued fiercely, succeeded, and finally improved their status and abandoned those who loved them deeply. However, the persistence of "being suitable for each household" has also caused many tragedies. For example, butterfly lovers, Lin Daiyu and Jia Baoyu are household names who really love each other. Due to different family backgrounds, he tried his best to obstruct it, leading to double suicide and becoming a monk. In modern times, the concept of "suitability" has a new concept. Due to the changes of the times, the popularization of higher education and the acceleration of social mobility, it no longer refers to the equality of material conditions and social status, but also refers to spiritual harmony. Similar family environment, the same growth experience, similar attitude towards life, harmonious personality and considerable learning temperament make it easier for people to manage a love and marriage. There is such a thing that a young man born in the countryside fell in love with a college friend and decided to get married after graduation. The parents of the man's family actually disagree, because the woman's family is rich and unattainable. However, the two fans are still actively preparing. What's the last thing in the fryer? Boys just graduated with a salary of more than 4,000 yuan, and girls bought themselves a wedding bed of 30,000 yuan when preparing their dowry. The man's family disagreed, which was mainly related to self-esteem. Then, the gap between the rich and the poor leads to different consumption concepts, which is a big hidden danger for future families! Therefore, people become particularly cautious in the process of falling in love, and it takes a long time to get to know and get along. Finally, it must be someone who is psychologically synchronized and can match in all aspects. This is the true meaning of "match" now! May everyone find happiness that matches it.