The first time I saw this boy, I knew he was clever. Although his eyes are as small as peas, they are as bright as the stars in the sky. Without saying a word, he can do all the preparations after entering the class accurately according to the instructions. His courses are also designed to be both beautiful and novel.
He is a transfer student, so I pay more attention to him. But he was really embarrassed. Except that he doesn't like to talk, he always keeps his head down. In class, he often slips the numbers and plays with some small toys, stationery and even scraps of paper. Remind him many times in every class, but it still doesn't help. A few days later, I found that this child is definitely not as simple as a bad habit. What shall we do? We must find the "reason".
That day, after the intermittent exercise, I took his hand and walked to the flower bed, ready to have a long talk with him. The conversation didn't go well. He is an uncooperative little guy, and he has been inspired for a long time. He just stared into his bright eyes and said nothing. I pretended to be angry and said, "if you ignore me again, you will call your mother." Is it necessary for the teacher to let your parents talk with you? " He began to look up at me, but frowned and whispered, "Don't look for mom, it's no use looking for her." "Why?" I quickly asked, "Does mom care about you?" He lowered his head again, rubbed his hand on the corner of his clothes, and then muttered, "My mother says I have ADHD, and it's hopeless." I can't help but realize that this is probably the crux. I have seen many such educational cases. The child was blocked by a long-term psychological suggestion.
"Mom took you to see a doctor? Do you have a medical certificate? "
"Yes, the doctor said, it's a bit like that. What's the diagnosis?"
A medical certificate is a proof that you are really ill.
"Oh, I didn't see it. But mom and dad always sigh, so I think there must be something wrong with me. "
"Well, now the teacher will contact your mother, and I want to make sure that you are really sick."
He frowned and there was a hint of prayer in his eyes. Obviously, he doesn't want me to contact my parents. I guess he has been contacted many times before.
"Don't worry," I touched his head. "I won't tell my mother that you are mistaken." So, he had doubts about my parents' phone number. After dialing the phone, I specially asked him to go to the office to get something for me, and then I talked to his mother about the child's problem. At the other end of the phone, my parents sighed before I finished: "Alas ... this child is hopeless, and it is everywhere, but it is disobedient." There must be something wrong … "I interrupted:" Do you want your child to have ADHD? " "Of course not, teacher. Who doesn't want their children to live well? " She said sarcastically.
I said, "That is, no mother wants her child to get sick. But now your attitude has turned him into a patient. ADHD needs to be diagnosed. Is the doctor diagnosed? " "It's not like that. The doctor said that many naughty children also have ADHD symptoms and can't be diagnosed, but I think he is, but I didn't tell the child that he has ADHD. " This confused mother makes me sigh. In fact, there are many such parents in life, including myself, and they often speak insincerely and commit educational taboos without knowing it. We never want to guide children with bad psychology, but our words and deeds often bring negative psychological hints to children. These hints are often better than violent corporal punishment. They are like invisible cold rain and wind, which slowly wither the original fresh life. The lively and clever child has begun to worry about his health. What else can he do? In addition to passively resisting the teacher's reminder and questioning, I can only secretly grieve. Naughty and active is a child's nature. There are not many children with substantive ADHD, and more crux lies in their hearts. If you feel that you are "sick" and "hopeless", naturally you don't have to take pains to correct it. Therefore, if you leave it alone, your "illness" will be worse. If this goes on, you will get sick even if you don't get sick, and no matter how good the prescription is, it won't help. On the contrary, even if we are sick, we can roll with the punches and let him rebuild his courage and confidence to overcome the problem. Sometimes, psychotherapy is better than all panacea.
After my conversation with my parents, he came back, holding the notebook I asked him to take, looking at me from a distance and observing my expression. He must be guilty of being afraid that I will "sue" his mother, or give him a serious lesson with a sympathetic face. I turned off my cell phone and waved to him. Then, I looked him in the eye and said meticulously, "You did have a medical certificate, but it was delayed and your mother took it back." The diagnosis proves that you have no ADHD. "His eyes suddenly lit up, then frowned and bowed his head. I know he has doubts, but his doubts will be dispelled at once. Because I told his mother that I really need to find a way to' diagnose' him. "Now," I said, "this diary is for you. Write' I am a healthy child' on the title page of this diary. Starting from today, I will concentrate on the class. " He nodded, a little embarrassed, but his eyes overflowed with a smile.
I suddenly felt a little heavy when he strode back to the classroom. Education is really not simple. Every word, every look, even every tiny action of an adult may bring some hints to children. In Greek legend, Pimarion turned a statue into a beautiful and vivid life with love and expectation. And can we infect and enlighten every child's heart with a positive and optimistic attitude every day? Love is both simple and complicated. Love is simple to say but complicated to do.
White lies may help children to smooth the shadows in their hearts and rebuild their self-confidence, but it takes a lot of efforts to correct a deep-rooted mental and behavioral habit due to bad hints. Whether that clever boy can overcome the problem of inattention requires strong endurance besides a positive attitude. What about us? Aren't those adults who think they are above themselves always surrounded by some gloomy emotions and can't walk away from themselves and some subjective psychological misunderstandings? What life looks like depends not on our eyes, but on our hearts. When your ideology and perspective change, everything changes.
The little girl who voiced the protagonist of the famous cartoon Doraemon was depressed for a time because of her hoarse voice, and even refused to associate with others. But when she happened to be selected by cartoonists and actively participated in dubbing, she found that the frozen natural "defect" was her greatest advantage. When life is deeply stuck, change a window and look into the distance, perhaps you can gain unlimited scenery. I prayed for the boy and told myself that I should try my best to make my life and others' life full of hope at any time.
Well, why did you suddenly go to Beijing?
In the summer of 20xx, two things impressed me deeply: one was the flood that flooded half the city, and the other was the sudden departure of my mother.
That morning, the company held a mid-year summary meeting. As an administrative secretary, I was taking minutes of the meeting when the phone suddenly rang, showing the area code of Beijing. I don't know anyone in Beijing. I think it's just an ordinary harassing call. I pressed it off.
After the meeting, when I got off work, the phone from Beijing called again. It's okay if I don't answer it. I was surprised when I found that it was my mother's voice over there.
Mom, why did you go to Beijing?
Yes, I'm going to stay in Beijing for a few years to realize my dream when I was young.
I was stunned. Mom, you are 60 years old, and now your dream is to support the elderly and have grandchildren!
I have passed the physical examination and I am in good health in all aspects. If I don't pursue my dreams now, will I wait until I am 70 or 80?
My mother is the head nurse of my hometown hospital, and she is famous. After retiring in 20xx, he was rehired by the hospital. If her father hadn't suddenly fallen ill, she might still be working in the town hospital. After my father died of lung cancer for more than two years, my mother stayed at my house to help me and Jack take care of my daughter.
In retrospect, there are signs that my mother went to Beijing. After her daughter entered kindergarten, her mother began to chant that she likes to help others in the hospital. When she was young, she especially wanted to go to Beijing, watch Peking Opera, practice calligraphy and live in an old quadrangle.
I didn't take my mother's words to heart at that time. Is Beijing so easy to mix? I also wanted to go to Beijing when I just graduated. Design majors don't want to go to these big cities in Beishangguang, but it took them two months to learn that the place is not easy to live in, with many talents and extremely high housing prices. Not everyone who loves design can become Chen Youjian. So I went back to my hometown. Fortunately, I found a well-paid position in a state-owned enterprise, with easy tasks and good benefits.
At the reunion, those who wander in big cities are envious of my present living condition. In fact, my husband and I are not better off than others. One is the administrative secretary of the institution, and the other is the project leader of the real estate enterprise. The income is just enough to live a less poor life. Buy a small duplex in Wucheng District. I am not satisfied with my present life, but, just like the joke in Weibo, the high housing prices in China have destroyed the love and imagination of young people. Young people become middle-aged as soon as they graduate from college, and they are careful about their daily necessities. The life of our generation has been material and complicated from the beginning. What can we do without material things and sophistication?
So my mother, a 60-year-old man, went to Beijing. I can accept a long trip. For a dream? This is crazy!
Is it really just to be a doctor?
I asked the company for annual leave and am going to pick up my mother. When I found my mother in Beijing, she was taking care of the elderly in a community service center. Wearing a white coat, it looks particularly spirited. Mom, how could you come without saying hello? I asked in a questioning tone.
Becoming a doctor is my dream. Mother doesn't mind my attitude at all. She answered me like a child. "Don't worry, I work very well here. Besides, now that the baby has grown up, you can take care of yourself, and I have nothing to do there. "
At this time, I feel that my mother is really unreasonable-being a doctor can obviously be done at home. Why did you walk so far? Not that this dream can't be realized at home. Also, a super metropolis like Beijing is not a heavyweight compared with our hometown. You are so old, can you stand it?
Our hometown? That place is too small. How nice Beijing is! Everything is the best in China! My mother completely ignored my attitude and continued to say haha. Besides, I am in good health now.
But mom, I can only persuade her slowly after she gets off work. After dinner together, I want to see where my mother lives. Mom seemed a little reluctant, but she didn't refuse. It turns out that my mother's so-called residence is actually a small and crowded rental house, just enough for a small bed. But that's it, and mom is very satisfied. Every once in a while, she will decorate the house with what she finds everywhere.
Great designer, since I'm here, I'll help my mother redesign the house. Mom winked at me a little playfully.
The word "designer" embarrassed me. This is a distant dream. Although it is still exciting to think about it, no one will appreciate your design in a small city along the 4th and 5th lines. Most people like to give themselves a cottage version or a low-end application version according to the luxury home decoration of the richest and second richest people in the local area. My mother and I lived in this corner of Beijing for a week.
That week, I felt as if it was the first time in my life that I had such close contact with a real and sensible mother. This mother, despite her lack of material resources and poor conditions, has a positive spirit and can always turn grief into happiness. Her life is nothing like the depression and pallor of the legendary big city life.
Usually, besides going to work, my mother goes to Beihai Park to climb mountains and play Tai Chi whenever she has time. Go to the National Library on weekends, read books, make friends, and often argue with others about an article. My mother will also regularly go to the nearby elderly activity room to practice calligraphy and watch others perform Peking Opera. Sometimes, she even shuttles through the 798 Art District where young people gather. Those great creative mothers obviously don't understand, but they fascinate me so much that I can hardly find a way out.
Finally, I couldn't bring my mother home. But from then on, I always felt that my mother went to Beijing not only to be a doctor. She is so happy, just like a young man who has realized his dream.
It turns out that you have been quietly setting an example.
After coming back from Beijing, my daughter has been chasing me and asking where my grandmother is. Strangely, at this time, I will involuntarily raise the volume and tell her with a little pride that your grandmother is a great doctor in Beijing.
Of course, my daughter is proud of having such a grandmother. Everyone told her that her grandmother was in Beijing.
Last Mid-Autumn Festival, I was worried that my mother was not doing well in Beijing. Does she still live in that small room? Look, I miss my mother very much. My husband suggested that the whole family go to Beijing for the Mid-Autumn Festival. Of course, the main purpose is to see mom.
When I saw my mother this time, her mental state was better than last time. She has moved out of that small rental house and lived in an old yard. Not a quadrilateral, of course. Now all the people who can live in quadrangles in Beijing are rich. But the old yard is also good, there are many rooms, and there are several old people in the yard. In my mother's house, all the furniture is available. There is a big bookcase near the window, which is full of all kinds of literary books and magazines that she likes to read.
Open a book casually and find a lot of words written in the blank space of the header and footer. At first glance, I thought it was a reading note or something, but I didn't see it clearly until I got closer. So these are mom's diaries:
On July 24th, I never told my daughter that the house was beautifully decorated, but her design was not appreciated there.
August 12, now my daughter has to accompany the leaders to socialize every day, and she is still haggard when she comes back late. Well, I still remember that she had so many vowed dreams. Have you forgotten all about it?
August 14 my son-in-law Jake told me secretly today that he wanted to go to Beijing to start a company ... but his daughter beat him every time, saying that now you can be a manager, have a stable income, and nothing will happen if you go out. It turns out that you are not without dreams, but you all lack the courage to change.
/kloc-in August of 0/6, my granddaughter grew up and went to school, and I was free. I suddenly remembered my daughter's youthful vitality when she was at school.
On August 17, the day after I came to Beijing, I found a job in a community service center. If only I could live in a quadrangle. September 10 went to see the exhibition of 798 today. The design they made is really beautiful, but it's a pity that my daughter is not here, otherwise she would definitely like it here.
On September 28th, some people said that the high housing prices in Beijing stifled the dream of the post-80s generation. I think the house price is really high, but there are also many opportunities for success. Young people nowadays can be braver.
165438+123 October, the winter in Beijing was harsh and dry, but fortunately there was heating. I watched the design exhibition again today, and many works are similar to what my daughter did before. If only my daughter could come. Isn't she dreaming of winning an award?
65438+February 1, Jinhua is too young to hold too many dreams. I hope my daughter can understand this truth.
Life is short and my mother's diary is very long, but in this record after record, I clearly see my own shadow. In front of my mother, my life is so sophisticated and compromised, and I never tire of it. My mother loves the profession of nurse, and no matter how long it takes, she will still return to this position; My mother loved Beijing when she was young, and she never forgot it until she was 60. Mom is not realizing her dream, she is setting an example for me.
The most unforgivable thing in the world
Looking back on my experience in these years, I don't have a dream of swallowing mountains and rivers. When I was studying, I was determined to be a great designer. But once I was frustrated and stressed in a big city, I directly announced that I would abandon the city and surrender.
Then put aside your dreams, make do with yourself, make do with life, do jobs you don't like at all, learn to flatter others, smile at people all day and keep climbing. When you finally let yourself out of it, your dream was almost erased and became the last thing you want to talk about.
So, mom is right. The last thing in the world is to realize your dreams.
A week later, Jack and I finally got up the courage, resigned and sold the house, and came to Beijing with the money.
Our design company is very small. I'm a designer and Jack is the general manager, but ... this series of things is almost done at one go.
The temperate monsoon climate in Beijing will bring us a gust of dust from time to time. At this time, the air is misty, and all the arrogant high-rise buildings on weekdays are annihilated. No one is an exception.
In front of life, even if some of us are humble and ordinary, some are great and brave, we also have the right to dream. No matter how hard life is, the wind will blow one day.
Although Jake and I had been psychologically prepared for a long time, we didn't expect it to be so difficult at the beginning of our business. Lack of funds is the most realistic problem. If mom didn't give us a pension and salary, we couldn't even pay the rent. In order to save money, we not only have to be managers, but also go out to run orders and do publicity in person, which often confuses us. But every time I come home, I see a steaming table cooked by my mother and sit beside my daughter with mirth. How much hard work and fatigue are gone.
After such a busy year of fighting, I calculated an account and made ends meet with a slight balance. But this has satisfied us, because in this difficult process, all running is no longer a dream, and persistence is a commitment.
When we entered the second year and prepared for the third year, my mother said that as long as you insist, my mother will always accompany you. And what I think is, since I didn't take my mother home, I'll stay in Beijing with her. Then we will complete a wonderful counterattack together. In the sandstorm in Beijing, we will also do this dream well and show it to our children.
White Lies Prose 3 Lies are usually very bad, and lying is a bad behavior.
Make up a lot of things that you don't have for your vanity; What you want, you get it through lies; After doing something wrong, cover it up with lies ..... these will eventually pay the price, pay for themselves.
I used to hate lying, but later I found it difficult to not lie at all.
In fact, there is a kind of lie that is white, and a white lie is beautiful.
There is encouragement in a white lie. I have heard such an example: it is obvious that a student is not very good in all aspects, but his parents seem to turn a blind eye. They always think that he is excellent in some aspects and encourage him to make continuous progress. As a result, he even surpassed his former seniors who were much better than himself. White lies inspire children to surpass themselves and change the future. Under the teacher's "prediction", the originally lazy students became diligent, sensible and studious, and later became excellent talents in various jobs. Years later, children will keep this deceptive gift in mind.
A white lie will bring comfort. The terminally ill patients in the hospital, under the concealment of their families and the comfort of doctors, exceeded the doctor's life expectancy and even miraculously recovered!
In a white lie, there is pay. I just saw a news today that a retired man in Wuxi donated anonymously for 27 years. Dear Mr. Zhang, in the name of "Yanhuang" and "Huangyanmin", he has donated tens of thousands of yuan to nursing homes, primary schools and earthquake-stricken areas for many years. I was diagnosed with a sudden cerebral infarction the day before yesterday and was sent to the hospital after remittance in the business hall of the Postal Savings Bank. He is indifferent to fame and fortune, does not ask for anything in return, and has remained anonymous and quietly contributed to society. How noble this lie is!
White lies are the driving force of our beliefs. It ignited the fire of hope in our hearts and felt the love and touch of this world!
One day at the dinner table, my friend's phone rang. As soon as I saw it, I made a quiet gesture. The originally lively dining table was quiet. Everyone knows that his wife is inspecting the post. The friend picked up the phone and said, "At my colleague's house."
As soon as I hung up the phone, my friend sitting next to me said, "In the future, call me husband. It seems that he can't believe anything. " Another friend echoed: "Exactly, can't you be frank?" "Just a few friends to eat, as for? Make it look like a thief. " ……
This scene reminds me of a joke: a single man and a heterosexual friend share a room. When he called his girlfriend, his roommate just said: my takeaway. When her girlfriend asked why there was a girl's voice, he lied about watching TV, but after a while, his roommate added: My delivery. This time he is even worse: alas! Why are the recent TV commercials always replayed?
My friends burst into laughter. Why are people all liars nowadays?
After a moment of silence, the dinner table became lively again, but the friend who just hung up the phone said with deep feeling, "alas!" I can't help it Women like to think too much. Some things are normal and simple, but if she thinks too much and then asks this and that, she can't tell whether it makes sense. It is better to say some harmless lies, simple white lies! This is good for everyone and can save a lot of unnecessary trouble. "
My friend is right. Yes, life is just a lifetime. If you explain things between husband and wife for a long time, you will be too tired. If the other party is suspicious, it will even make the other party suspicious and confused all day. It is better to tell some white lies, so that others don't have to think too much, and they won't think twice in suspicion and hurt their hearts. If they are not careful, they will also create some small barriers between husband and wife. Of course, the premise is that lies must be white.
At the beginning of life, human nature is good, although lies are everywhere in life. But lies can be divided into good and evil. Lies that achieve some malicious behaviors are malicious, and lies that achieve some good intentions are good intentions. If white lies can be used, then lies are also beautiful, and life will be better because of these lies!
We need some white lies in life.
When my baby first went to kindergarten, I often asked her to recite some poems for me. Sometimes, even if I don't recite well, I always pretend to listen carefully. When she finished reciting, I said to her happily, "Wow, the baby is great! I can recite poems, and it's especially nice. I will recite it to my mother often in the future, ok? " In this way, day after day, her recitation ability is particularly good. Although she can't read, she can recite all the books. I feel guilty. Later, the baby began to learn to dance. I didn't dare to jump at first, and my movements were a little stiff, but when she danced to me occasionally, I would happily say, "Oh! It turns out that the baby dances so beautifully! Why don't you jump on your mother? " Slowly, she never dared to jump again, but she was not very skilled. Finally, she can play naturally. It seems that white lies and encouragement can also stimulate children's potential.
Baby, I'm making progress and growing up happily under my well-woven white lies.
At work, sometimes white lies are needed.
When I first started working in this company, the leader often said to me, "You have done a good job. I hope to make persistent efforts!" " Although it is a simple sentence, I feel recognized by the leaders, so I work harder and try my best to repay the leaders for knowing what they are doing. Later, it took a long time to know that leaders often tell such white lies to newcomers, thus stimulating their self-motivation and making them work harder.
Work, under the well-intentioned lies carefully woven by the leaders, colleagues are positive and everyone is trying to do their jobs well. In such a working environment, everyone is more motivated and full of happiness!
From an early age, the story of the wolf coming tells us that being an honest boy, honesty is the traditional virtue of China. We also advocate honesty, but there are many things in life. If we tell a small and harmless white lie, life will be more harmonious and beautiful!