He explained this sentence like this, because our ancestors learned to share food and skills in the "credit network for paying debts", so we became human beings.
We also have an old saying in China: "It is not difficult to borrow again."
It can be seen that the interaction and mutual benefit between people should be the best way to get along.
In the second chapter of Robert B. Cialdini's book Influence, the author analyzes the influence of the principle of reciprocity on us.
0 1. What is the principle of reciprocity?
What benefits others have given us, we should try our best to repay them.
For example, if my neighbor Aunt Zhang helped me, I would also look for opportunities to help her back. A friend's house invited my husband and wife to dinner, so we have to find a reason to invite them back. ...
According to the principle of reciprocity, we are obliged to repay others' kindness, gifts, invitations and so on in the future.
02. How does the principle of reciprocity work?
Human society has gained an important competitive advantage from the principle of reciprocity. In order to ensure that all members of society are assimilated, we must abide by and trust this principle.
How do people ensure that everyone abides by and trusts this principle?
First of all, let children be educated from an early age and don't let them down.
For example, when I was a child, on holidays, or when there was delicious food at home, my mother asked me to bring something to grandma Wubao in the village. At first, I was very surprised Grandma Qi is not a relative of my family. Why should I give her something?
Later, I learned from my mother that Grandma Qi was my parents' matchmaker. In order to repay seventh grandma, even if the family is not rich, mother will always send some money and food to seventh grandma. My mother also taught our children that as human beings, we should be grateful.
Secondly, avoid being considered as a freeloader, an ungrateful bastard, or a lazy person who gets something for nothing.
In the mid-1980s, Ayong, a 0/2-year-old from our village, was expelled from school because he was too naughty at school (you can't just let a pupil drop out of school today). He had to go out into the society and start to earn his own living.
What can a child aged 12 do to make a living? Ayong's father bought dozens of ducklings for his son, made fishing nets, and made him go to other people's cesspits every day to catch mosquito larvae and feed them to the ducks.
At that time, every family would raise a few chickens or ducks, and often fished out mosquito larvae from the cesspit to feed them. Therefore, every time Ayong catches a bug in a cesspit, he must say thank you to his master and say that he will repay the villagers when he grows up.
Everyone in the village was tolerant and didn't embarrass him, but no one thought of taking his reward.
When Ayong grew up, he became the first family in the village to live a well-off life through business exploration. He fulfilled his childhood promise and donated a lot of money to build roads and basketball courts for villagers. In order to make up for the regret of not finishing primary school, he also donated money to the primary schools in the village and spent a lot of money to send his two sons to catch up on their lessons and learn calligraphy. Now, both children have graduated from college and found Xinyi's job.
Ayong once told me that he regretted that he didn't study hard as a child and became illiterate. But he is very grateful to the villagers for their tolerance and protection of his broken heart. Therefore, he must study hard to make a living in return for the villagers' love.
Where would the villagers have thought that just letting Ayong catch some bugs in the cesspit every day would have such a far-reaching impact on him?
03. The principle of reciprocity is easy to use.
People have been taught to repay their kindness since childhood, and those who have been grateful try their best to repay their kindness. This is a very positive thing. However, this painstaking approach can easily be used by some people who want to benefit from this goodwill.
In life, some requirements will be rejected if you don't feel indebted, but under the influence of the principle of reciprocity, you will easily get a nod from others.
Once, we traveled to Nanning, the provincial capital, and near the entrance of Qingxiu Mountain Park, we saw a middle-aged woman carrying a plate of fruit with toothpicks for passers-by to taste for free. Not far away, an old woman stood in front of a fruit stand.
When we passed the middle-aged woman, we were warmly invited to have a try. We refused, so we tried a small piece. The woman asked, "Big Brother and Big Sister, is the fruit delicious?" "
We casually responded: "Delicious, delicious."
"Delicious to buy two jins back there? It won't cost much. The fruit here is much cheaper than the supermarket. " The woman said.
To tell the truth, we brought our own fruits and other foods, so we don't need to buy any more fruits. But because we ate a small piece of fruit for free and admitted that it was delicious, we felt embarrassed and had to buy three or four fruits for her.
In life, many people step on the pit of the principle of reciprocity.
The above is the impact of the principle of reciprocity on our lives, both positive and negative, depending on how you use it.