Zong Pu
I have a business card in front of me, which my brother used when he went abroad for an inspection the year before last. I still have my business card, but I can't use it any more.
Little brother went. The place I went to is a place that philosophers can't figure out through the ages, a place that all kinds of religions try to describe, a place where everyone will go and can't come back. But now how can I get my brother! He is only 50 years old. He is full of energy, has accumulated rich knowledge and experience, and has made great achievements. How many things are waiting for him to do! The hospital found that his tumor was quite large and needed immediate surgery. He also wants to attend a technical seminar and ask if he can come back after the meeting. During his recuperation after the operation, he was still reading research papers and doing some small translations in the institute. Until he was bedridden, he still kept several international aviation materials at hand and always "wanted to have a look again." All he thinks about is work. When it was dripping, he suddenly said that he wanted to eat shrimp and prawns. He wants to live! He wants to live!
But he left, too early. This year, from his illness to his death, it was really like a dream, a dream that could never be believed. I always thought he would come back, walk to my window from our desolate backyard in winter and summer, and shout "Little Sister-".
But he left, prematurely and forever.
My brother is three years old. Since I have a relatively complete memory, my younger brother, a chubby and lovely little brother, has been living with me. Although he is young, he often works as a teacher, takes care of the children and makes everyone sit down when playing. He stood in class, looking really solemn. Although he is young, in winter in Kunming, children are born with chilblains and dare not wash their faces with cold water, but he is not afraid at all. He stood by the mountain spring, holding a big basin, which is still very clear in front of my eyes.
"Look, little sister, I'll wash first!" He cried with joy.
In the slow flowing spring water, we spent most of our time in one school from primary school and middle school to university. After graduation, we went our separate ways. Unconsciously, I heard someone call me a brother strength expert; Unconsciously, he took the post of chief engineer. In those turbulent times, it is hard to imagine a person's future. In recent years, my father and I have often said that my brother will do something practical for the country as long as the environment permits. Unexpectedly, he was the youngest and left before us.
Last summer, after learning that he was ill, I went to Xi 'an on August 20th because I couldn't get better treatment. I remember a car full of people coming to pick me up. At that time, I wondered why it was so exciting It turns out that they all went to see my brother. After arriving at the hospital, some people went into the ward to shake hands, while others just stood silently at the door of the room. They are afraid to disturb the patients, but they must come and see them.
During the operation, there were representatives from the Institute of Aeronautics and Astronautics, 623 institutes and 63/KLOC-0 institutes outside the operating room, as well as brothers and sisters, niece and me. There is also a car in front of the hospital. There are many people waiting in the car. They must wait and be ready to donate blood. If I need all the blood, his comrades will give it to him. But everything is useless. The tumor was taken out, the size of an adult fist, and one side was necrotic. I suddenly felt chest tightness and almost suffocated-this is a man who has contributed his talent, sweat and life to the motherland in the hinterland. How can this terrible thing grow so big in him!
I know the hardships of living on this loess plateau, and I know the fatigue of people living on this loess plateau. I can also imagine that every progress in my work has to go through very annoying twists and turns. But I didn't expect that my brother not only lived and fought here, but also died here. After the operation, I went back to Beijing to rest at home and relapsed in less than half a year.
I couldn't bear to write about that anxious and sad day, and I couldn't write it. Every time I think about it, I burst into tears and the paper is blurred. I remember that every time I went to see a doctor, the waiting room was as crowded as a bus, waiting and waiting, looking forward to it. We know that the disease is irreversible, and we just hope to extend the time. Maybe there will be a new way. Since Comrade Mo Wenxiang, leading comrades in aviation industry and air force have been extremely concerned about him. Friends from all walks of life, including the medical profession, have also helped me enthusiastically, and I have also sought medical treatment overseas. But if the treatment opportunity is missed, it will be difficult for the drug to play its role. Several doctors impatiently told my brother that there was no cure and he was told to "go back to Shaanxi". I still smiled when I said this, and I didn't mind. He never lost heart, he never lost the desire to live, and he was not tired enough.
My younger brother was born in Beijing, and 1952 graduated from Tsinghua University Aviation Department. He volunteered to go to the southwest, later assigned to the northeast, and transferred to Chengdu and Shaanxi. Although his blood did not flow on the land of the motherland, his sweat spread all over the country, and every bit of his energy was dedicated to the aviation cause of the motherland. Personal achievements are always limited, maybe you burn yourself out, and you can't give people a little light, but you can always accumulate a little for the future glory. I don't quite understand the complexity of various industries, but I understand that no business can be completed just by sitting in Beijing.
I once very much hoped that my brother would be transferred back to Beijing to share the burden of serving my father. As a son, he has been running for 30 years. Shouldn't he do some housework? Over the years, everyone will say "wait for my brother to come back" and "ask my brother" if there is anything at home. Sometimes it's reassuring to think of him asking. How can you get such peace of mind now? A dying father misses his son, especially after his mother died in recent years. His thoughts are deep and bitter. I know, although he didn't say it, now he has lost his most precious little son forever. I had hoped that when I came to the end of my life and crossed that painful threshold, my brother would be among my relatives and his reliability would comfort me. I don't know, but he crossed the threshold first!
1982101at 7 o'clock on October 28, he went.
This day is expected, but how can I believe it is a fact! He was lying there, but he was no longer him, not my younger brother in his prime, and he would never answer our call or dissuade us from crying. Where have you been, little brother! Since Aunt Yuan Jun died on 1974, my family has experienced many funerals, and this time my brother's departure is the most unconventional and unacceptable! I also had to tell this news to my father who was also in hospital at that time, because I couldn't answer his first question every day: "How is my little brother today?" I must tell him that it is my responsibility. I have no younger brother to rely on, and I can't expect him to share my responsibilities.
His father wrote an elegiac couplet for him: "He is a good party member, a good cadre, and his ambition is unfulfilled. Is it just for the pain of his family? " Being able to master science and technology, art and literature, all talents are rare, and it is difficult to return to the soul! "My only brother is gone forever.
He collapsed from overwork and fell ill from depression. He works nervously for three classes and attends various meetings every day. Every time there is a big experiment, he checks every screw and every piece of tape in advance. He is a member of the Science and Technology Committee of the Third Ministry of Machinery. He is far-sighted and has put forward various models for research. There is a project in which he is the chief engineer, and won the first prize in science and technology of the National Defense Industry Office and the Third Machinery Department. At the same time, he is also a member of 623 Party committees, and needs to express his views on all kinds of things frankly and acceptably at the conference table. I often think that being able to "carry heavy burdens" is the characteristic of intellectuals who came out from the 1950s to the early 1960s, and we grew up under the requirement of "being both red and expert". Of course, some people will never meet the requirements, such as me. Most people are burdened with heavy burdens and walk on rugged, thorny and sometimes impassable mountain roads. Those years of critical struggle have a long-term impact. They are not only hard-working, tired, but also afraid, and their hearts are full of incomprehensible things. Who can afford it?
Before I entered the hospital, my brother was responsible for organizing a research group of the Ministry of Aviation Industry, and he served as the chief engineer. One of his comrades-in-arms wrote to me that in the summer of 198 1, Xi 'an was unusually hot, and almost everyone went outdoors to enjoy the cool at night. Only "our old Feng" insisted on reading the information at his desk. "One night, I went to his home to report my work and learned that he often had a stomachache, sometimes he woke up from sleep, and sometimes he was sweating with pain after working for a while. God, who knew it was cancer! I'm just saying we should go to the hospital. Looking back now, I feel very guilty. I am sorry for Lao Feng and I am sorry for you! "
The words of this unknown good comrade made me cry! I hate myself too. I hate that I didn't think about the threat of cancer to our family earlier. Even if I don't have any symptoms, I should check it regularly. Yunshan block, I always thought my brother was healthy. In fact, he felt sick very early and has been to the medical unit where he should go. Gastroptosis at the district level and kidney wandering at the county level. As a younger brother, of course, I won't make a fuss and disturb everyone. Later, at the urging of my sister-in-law, I went to Xi 'an for a check-up before I had an operation. If I get the correct diagnosis and treatment one year earlier, I can work for my country for another 20 years!
The past is the past. One of his advantages is that my brother has never "blamed" anyone or himself in his life. There are two lines in the poem he wrote during his illness: "Looking back without complaint, Dan Xin looks forward to the future." He has no hatred. Although he has no great achievements that can shine in history, he has a serious and diligent life for ordinary people. History is written by these people.
My younger brother has a white face and a long body. Love literature and poetry; Qigong calligraphy seal cutting. It is no exaggeration to say that father is "all-rounder" in elegy. If he has three lives, his talents and energy will be inexhaustible; But in my life, I failed to give full play to it. On his deathbed, his heart, which made the motherland soar, beat tenaciously and refused to stop. He didn't want to.
He is not the only one with such unfulfilled ambitions!
I cried for my little brother, crying that he was still in severe pain and "wanted to see it again", crying that his stomach was drooping and his kidneys were wandering; Still crying that Jiang Zhuying is ill and running around, the guests are in Chengdu; I also cried that Luo refused to take a car alone! I also want to cry for my peers who left early and didn't see the newspaper. After several frosts, I struggled to open a few petals, but before I opened them, I suddenly withered. I cry for those who left late and thanked early in our generation!
It's already late. Let these belated flowers prolong their brilliance as much as possible.
I have read a lot of articles in this field these days, and I also read Desire after Regret, which is a little gratifying. I hope the "wish" can come true. I think there should be fewer and fewer "regrets".
Little brother, I won't cry!
Zong Pu
Zong Pu (1928-), female, formerly known as Feng Zhongpu, pen name Ren Xiaozhe, Feng Fei, etc. Graduated from Tsinghua University Foreign Languages Department and retired from the Institute of Foreign Literature of China Academy of Social Sciences. . The daughter of the famous philosopher Feng Youlan, who grew up on the campus of Tsinghua, has absorbed the essence of China traditional culture and western culture, and has profound knowledge and unique charm. Her novels are deliberately innovative, with bright and implicit language, smooth and lingering, and quite distinctive. Her prose is as profound and meaningful as water.
1928 was born in Beijing in July. When I was ten years old, I moved to Kunming with my family and went to Nanjing Primary School and The National SouthWest Associated University High School. 1946 was admitted to the Foreign Languages Department of Tianjin Nankai University, and then transferred to the Foreign Languages Department of Tsinghua University. 195 1 graduated. Worked in China Federation of Literary and Art Circles, Literature and Art Newspaper and other units. 1960 tune world literature editorial department. Before the Cultural Revolution, his works mainly included short stories Red Bean, Peach Blossom Garden, Daughter Marries My Valley, Mirror Lake, Back Door and Companion. Red beans were criticized inappropriately. After the Cultural Revolution, there were the short story A Dream on a String and the novella Sanshengshi, which won the national excellent novella award. 198 1 Selected Novels and Proses of Zong Pu published by Beijing Publishing House. Later, he struggled to create a novel "Wild Hulu Yin" reflecting the fate of China intellectuals, and the first novel "Dunan Ji" was published on 1987, which was well received. 1948 began to publish his works, and became famous in 1957 with the short story Red Bean. In the new period, a large number of works have been published, including the short story Dream on a String (won the National Excellent Short Story Award 1978), the novella Sanshengshi (won the First National Excellent Novelette Award), the fairy tale The Story of Zongqi Fish (won the First National Excellent Children's Literature Award by the Chinese Writers Association), Dwelling House, Who am I, etc. 1988, the first novel "Du Nanji" was published, 1996, the four-volume "Collected Works of Zong Pu" was published by Huayi Publishing House. In recent years, he has created a series of novels "Introduction to Wild Gourd" reflecting the fate of intellectuals in China.
Zong Pu's Road to Life and Campus Complex (Hou Yuyan)
What kind of life path has Zong Pu taken? When you open the author's resume, what you see is a scholarly atmosphere similar to the elegant charm in his works. Zong Pu's experience is different from that of most writers. Unlike Shi Tuo, Tian Tao and other writers of the older generation, she climbed up the hall of knowledge step by step from the bottom of China society. Unlike Ba Jin and Xie Bingying, she fled the old landlord family and flowed into the city, forming a generation of "Bohemians" as Qu Qiubai said; Different from a large number of educated youth writers emerging in the new era, she left books and family in her youth and even adolescence to explore the value of life in poverty, ignorance and confusion. Even a generation of young people who grew up after the "Cultural Revolution" rarely had such a unique learning and parenting foundation. She is a beautiful orchid, lucky to sprout and grow in a pure land far from poverty and filth. As Charlotte said, she has a pure memory of "an inexhaustible and refreshing spring". Her living environment is basically confined to institutions of higher learning and academic research institutions. Because she was nurtured in a harmonious, honest and elegant academic atmosphere from an early age, she laid a lifelong rule for her life and writing. She did have an enviable childhood. This is probably why Zong Pu's works always have a spirit of everyone, a harmonious state that others can't learn, and even a straightforward "student accent".
In the university campus where Zong Pu lived when he was a child, the living conditions of professors were extremely superior, and there was no danger of "hanging upside down" today. Comfortable life and noble status make hard-working professors concentrate on their books (of course, it will be different after the beginning of the Anti-Japanese War), and their children can also get better education and more cultural nourishment than their peers in a relatively simple and clear world. Of course, on the other hand, they are too simple and bookish, and will inevitably suffer more hardships and setbacks in their later lives. I happen to have a copy of Tsinghua Alumni Newsletter published by 1990 at hand. I might as well take a few paragraphs and make a more detailed footnote for Qingyuan World written by Zong Pu. Zong Pu's contemporary, the daughter of Yu Zhenyong, a famous expert in literature and history, and Yu Peicao, a student of National Southwest Associated University 1943, once described the tranquility and elegance of Tsinghua campus in his childhood, as well as the superiority and uniqueness of Tsinghua's human landscape. She said, "At that time, there were only the primary school attached to Tsinghua (Chengzhi Primary School attended by Zong Pu mentioned by Feng Youlan) and the affiliated kindergartens. Ma Yuehan is our headmaster. ..... was later taught by Mrs. Cai Shunli, who is also a student studying in the United States. " Children who grow up under such conditions are really not as good as ordinary people. And what was the living environment of the children at that time? "The Type I Hall in Tsinghua, Shui Mu ... is elegant and cool, with a smell of nanmu. Single professors Wu Mi and Mr. Ye once lived here. " The South Yard where we live is a big courtyard surrounded by houses ... House No.1 is Mr. Zhao Yuanren's home. This cultural charm has penetrated into the children's souls bit by bit. Isn't the Fangguoyuan written in Zong Pu's Tale of Nandu the place where Qingyuan cultural elites gather? Natalie Samat, a French modernist woman writer, said: "What literature describes can only be an invisible reality that every writer yearns for-the reality that he feels lonely." The life and characters in the works can be fictional, but the artistic conception always faithfully reflects a sensitive author's special feelings about the surrounding scenery in his childhood and the influence of this feeling on his life. Zong Pu's unique artistic beauty in a series of works is like a wisp of smoke and a faint fragrance, which he can't realize when he is conscious. Only those who have experienced this kind of life personally can realize the writer's actual and extremely strong feelings and infinite memories and nostalgia for his childhood spiritual life from that seemingly dull description. This kind of love that people who have never experienced can't write or understand is the true meaning of Zong Pu's "campus complex".
(Feng's Scenery of the Garden, Literature Review No.2, 1997)
Zong Pu Studies (Celebrity Studies)
A good family forever. Anyone who has met Zong Pu, a famous woman writer, will feel this way, whether it is the first time they meet her or they are familiar with her.
On the afternoon of April 6th, the reporter went to Sansongtang, No.57 Yard, Yannanyuan, Peking University. As expected, the room is tall and wide. Although it is not luxurious, it is quaint.
The 77-year-old woman writer is full of kindness and wisdom. She wears casual clothes and is full of poems and books. The reporter and the female writer walked on the wooden floor together, crossed the narrow corridor, and the bookcase against the wall was filled with all kinds of books. The study is not big, and most of the bookcases in the north are books written by women writers themselves; Put a computer desk in the west; The south window is slightly open, reflecting the lilac green outside the window, and the fax machine on the desk rings from time to time; On the east wall hangs a couplet written by my late master of Chinese studies, Mr. Feng Youlan, for my beloved daughter: there are thousands of mountains and rivers, and the moon and the breeze are full of boats.
Miss Zong Pu sat in the swivel chair in front of the computer desk where she usually writes. "Although I am in poor health now, I am working hard." The woman writer said calmly. It turned out that after several operations, the old man's vision declined. Every morning he writes orally and has to rely on others to help him type. Now I'm helping a fourth-grade girl in the Chinese Department of Peking University.
The reporter learned that Mr. Zong Pu is working hard to write the third novel of the four novels "Introduction to Wild Gourd". The first two novels, Du Nan and Dongzang, were published in 1988 and 200 1 respectively. Introduction to Wild Gourd is a description of the intellectuals' ethics in the whole process of War of Resistance against Japanese Aggression Northern School's southward migration, especially in the national crisis festival. "I want to truly leave that history." The calm tone of the female writer reveals a firmness.
(People's Daily Overseas Edition, seventh edition, April 8, 2005)