Zhan Xin' an
Haven't seen you for a long time.
Cherry blossoms are in full bloom here, and I think of a sentence.
I want you to sit under the cherry tree and turn over a book. I remember your hair, fluffy, covering your forehead and eyes.
I often feel old recently. I feel more and more like Jane in Lover. I've been getting old since I was sixteen. I forgot a lot, such as what I ate in the morning, what I wrote last night, and the coat by the window was wet with dew.
I don't know if I'm really old, but I suddenly think of the years in my life and you.
I may be really old, so I like Suzhou Pingtan and cups of strong tea. The voice in the record slowly sang her life and also sang my life.
My life, like Jane, has had different struggles.
I don't care about man-made accidents
I dare not ignore the suffering in the world.
Therefore, I am often in a state of self-entanglement, others watch the play, and people close to me dislike it, so I want to be independent.
But how can we have enough strength? How should we face the gossip of this world?
But if I have you, I will be different. The strength of you and me together is enough to face the ups and downs of this world.
You can understand everything I say. I'm fascinated. I often imagine your calm forehead, your shoulders and arms when you are by my side.
I often think that if I am destined to be alone in this life, I will raise a little daughter at the age of 30. When she sticks to me, I will teach her to read and write. She went out to see flowers and listen to the singing of running water. I sat under the bright window and sewed a skirt for her.
I also want to pick seasonal flowers and brew the sweetest and most fragrant wine at the age of forty. I will have a cup of scented tea in the morning and a cup of scented tea in the evening. I will write poetry and occasionally invite my old friends to sing wine, and slowly step through this decade.
At the age of 50, I wrote a book of memories. If my daughter is destined to find a lover, I will buy her a wedding dress under the lamp.
If I were sixty years old, I would walk in white. See which day the mountains and rivers are most beautiful, and drink a glass of wine at the bottom.
You know, I am not an ordinary woman who is willing to wash her hands and make soup after others. I would rather not look at the trivial things in the world and pray to the lotus or copy the scriptures under the blue light.
But when I met you, I had an idea.
I think, before I die, I will write you a thousand letters and send you photos of Chunying, Xia Lian, Qiu Feng and Dongmei, as well as seasonal changes and 24 solar terms.
When I met you, I wanted to give you all the good things I felt in this world, so I stopped writing death letters, and all my poems turned into love words, the most beautiful love words for you.
I want to let the flowing water float to the maple leaves, let the geese send letters, let the breeze send greetings, let the drizzle, winter snow and music all bear my mark, and let you realize that the world has my beauty.
I still remember that when I met you, it was early summer, and Cinnamomum camphora was floating in a large figure. Thinking of you, I seem to smell the smell of summer again ―― the smell of grass and flowers.
I still remember when I was wearing a white skirt and you stood against the window with a cup of green tea.
How old is my sister?
It seems that an old friend has come back, and it seems that the situation is settled. I turned the page and suddenly understood what Brother Bao said to each other. Just like a dream of red mansions, all the books after that are vulgar. I've seen you. Everyone else is three points behind.
Ever since I met you in the first year, I've been looking forward to getting old quickly. Because I am so eager to spend my life with you.