As an ancient civilization with a long culture, China is known as the "Land of Etiquette". The word "etiquette" has long been used as a rule, system and moral education. In ancient Chinese, "ritual" mainly contains three meanings:
First, the hierarchical system of my country's slave society and feudal society, as well as a set of etiquette and rituals corresponding to it. For example, "The Analects of Confucius: Weizheng": "Yin is due to Xia Li, and its profits and losses can be known." "Book of Rites: Qu Li Shang": "Etiquette cannot be extended to common people, and punishment cannot be extended to officials."
Second, it shows respect and courtesy. "Zuo Zhuan, the 22nd Year of Duke Xiang": "The deacon is not polite to the king" (deacon: refers to the king of Jin. Weijun: refers to the king of Zheng).
Third, gifts are gifts. "Book of Jin·Lu Na's Biography": "When receiving the gift, the only thing is wine and a fight, and a piece of venison."
"Yi" refers to both appearance and appearance, as well as etiquette and rituals.
Mr. Liang Shiqiu, a modern literary scholar, said in his "Autumn Chamber Essays: Talking about Rites": "Etiquette is a set of rules, which may be officially formulated or inherited from generation to generation. , in its basic spirit, it is still a convention. After a long time, it has become a set of rules recognized by everyone. ”
Japan is also a country that pays attention to etiquette. Mr. Yasuhiko Matsudaira, a contemporary etiquette expert, believes in the book "Correct Etiquette" published by Japan National News Agency: "Etiquette is a kind of living standard that people need in daily life to maintain the normal order of society...Etiquette itself includes people's The morals and ethics that should be observed in social life can only be established if people do not stick to the superficial forms and truly possess the moral concepts they should have. "This is the relationship between etiquette and morality. Come up and reveal the nature of liturgy.
From the descriptions of etiquette at home and abroad in ancient and modern times, we can find that the so-called etiquette, in a broad sense, refers to the rules and regulations of an era; in a narrow sense, it refers to the way people behave in social interactions. Influenced by historical traditions, customs, religious beliefs, trends of the times and other factors, various codes of conduct or codes of conduct that are in line with the etiquette spirit and requirements for the purpose of establishing harmonious relationships are both recognized and abided by people. The sum of the specifications.
The above meaning of etiquette mainly expresses the following meanings:
First, etiquette is a code of conduct or norm. Etiquette is expressed in certain rules and regulations. The so-called "when in a country, do as the Romans do, and when entering, ask questions" means that if you want to enter a certain area, you must understand the customs and behavioral norms of the people there, and act in accordance with such customs and norms. This is polite. Etiquette and disorderly behavior are incompatible.
Second, etiquette principles or norms are established by convention and unanimously recognized by people in a certain society. In social practice, etiquette often first manifests itself as some unwritten rules and habits, and then gradually becomes a code of conduct that is recognized by everyone and can be accurately described and stipulated in language, words, and actions, and becomes a rule for people to follow. Code of conduct that can be followed and followed consciously.
Third, the purpose of paying attention to etiquette is to achieve mutual respect among all parties in social interactions, thereby achieving harmonious relationships between people. In modern society, etiquette can effectively show the education, grace and charm of the giver and recipient. It reflects a person's level of cognition and respect for others and society, and is an external manifestation of a person's knowledge, cultivation and value. Performance. Only when a person respects others can he be respected by others. Only in the process of mutual respect can a harmonious relationship between people be gradually established. Therefore, in a sense, it can be said that observing etiquette is one of the important means and ways for people to gain freedom.
In interpersonal communication, etiquette can not only effectively display a person's education, grace and charm, but also reflect a person's cognitive level of society, personal knowledge, cultivation and value. Etiquette is a kind of potential capital. If it can be used appropriately, it will achieve remarkable results.
Etiquette is a general term for etiquette and rituals, which refers to the complete behavior of self-discipline and respect for others in interpersonal communication, expressed in certain and conventional procedures and methods. It consists of a series of specific etiquette and is a systematic and complete process of showing politeness. Etiquette is an external expression of a person's inner cultivation and quality. It is an art in interpersonal communication, a form of beauty, and an external manifestation of the beauty of the human soul.
Etiquette is the sum of forms that are established in social life, comply with the requirements of etiquette, maintain the spirit of etiquette, guide and coordinate people's lives and activities. Its expressions include etiquette, politeness, appearance, Rituals, utensils, clothing, signs, etc.
From the perspective of personal cultivation, etiquette is the external expression of a person’s inner accomplishment and quality. Etiquette is reflected in the understanding and application of social etiquette. .
From a moral point of view, etiquette is a standard practice and code of conduct for people to behave in the world.
From a communicative point of view, etiquette is a moderate part of interpersonal communication. An art can also be said to be a way of communication.
From the perspective of folk customs, etiquette is a customary form of respecting others that must be observed in interpersonal interactions. It can also be said to be a custom. It is a habit of treating others with respect and friendliness. In short, etiquette is a convention for treating others.
From a communication perspective, etiquette is a skill for communicating with each other in interpersonal interactions. .
1. The basic concept of etiquette:
Etiquette comes from French, which means a pass in the court. It is the norm for entering the court. After it is introduced into society, it becomes an interpersonal communication. The Chinese etiquette refers to the sacrificial ceremony. Etiquette is a customary and unanimously recognized behavior in human social interactions to express mutual respect. It is formed in the continuous evolution of human society. For example, empty-handed, on the ancient border The guards all held weapons and did not allow foreigners to come in. Later, for the purpose of communication, if you wanted to enter foreign territory, you had to be empty-handed and wave to the other party to show that you did not bring weapons. This evolved into the current waving salute. The other party raised his palm to confirm that it was Empty hands evolved into handshakes, and the hat-off salute came from taking off the helmet, the bow salute came from surrendering and bending down, and the military salute means the dazzling river light (in ancient military parades, when passing in front of noble ladies, they had to cover their foreheads with their hands) , to show that their light is too dazzling).
A history of etiquette is a history of the development of human civilization.
2. The basic functions of etiquette:
1. Communication: Let’s take an example of asking for directions. A young man was in a hurry to go to Wangzhuang, but he didn’t know how far it was halfway. So he found a house on the roadside and asked: “Old man, how far is it to Wangzhuang?” The old man The young man replied: "I'm rude." The young man thought it was five miles away, so he hurried forward, but he was still far away. Finally he realized it, so he returned the same way and apologized to the old man. The old man told him that it was getting late and he would not arrive until the end of the day. The road to the village is still far away, so why not rest in a humble house for one night and start the journey again tomorrow?
2. Coordination: Etiquette can resolve conflicts
3. The primacy effect: that is to say, the first impression. When interacting with unfamiliar people, it is impossible to accurately judge the person in a short period of time, so the primacy effect of etiquette is particularly important, because good etiquette can often give people a good first impression. .
4. Halo effect: For example, an experiment is conducted with two groups of people. The specifics are as follows. Two groups of people are asked to describe an image of nothing (high forehead, deep-set eyes). Say to the first group of people, This was a famous scholar who told the second group that this was a criminal. The first group described it like this, that is, the deep-set gaze contains the wisdom of the sky, and the towering forehead represents the spirit of always climbing to the top; the second group of people described it, that is, the deep-set gaze represents the cloudy time, and the towering forehead Showing determination not to repent, this is the so-called halo effect.
3. Basic principles of etiquette
1. System as a whole: systematic learning, paying attention to the overall effect.
There is an important "spit incident" in the history of China's public affairs. A pharmaceutical factory was on the verge of bankruptcy. The government helped to introduce German investment to them. Just before the appointment, the German president came to the factory to inspect the factory. During the visit to the workshop, the factory manager couldn't hold back a mouthful of phlegm, so the president decided not to make an appointment. His reason was simple: this is a pharmaceutical factory, and human lives are at stake, so how can you spit everywhere. There is also an example of Fuwu’s application for success because he saw a piece of waste paper on the ground and picked it up into the trash can. The answer is also very simple: only those who can see small things can do big things.
2. Fairness and reciprocity: etiquette should not judge people based on appearance, nor should they choose based on wealth. The emphasis is on equality of personality and mutual respect.
3. Respect time and discipline: What can a person who cannot honor his time commitments do?
4. Principle of respecting customs and customs and taboos:
Nixon spent a long time learning to use chopsticks before visiting China, which suddenly brought him closer.
For sailors, the most taboo word is "turn", but once when they were eating in a restaurant, they ate half of the fish on the table. When they complimented the waiter on how well done the fish was, the waiter tried to help. They turned the fish over, but the move caused immediate revulsion.
One difference between entertaining guests in the East and the West is that in China, it is the most respectable to invite guests to a hotel for a meal, while in the West, it is the most intimate thing for a guest to have a meal at someone else's home.
Chinese people generally like to say, eat whatever you want, without any dishes. Westerners say, this is what my wife is good at. A major difference is that Nepalese nod to express objection and shake their head to express agreement. A Chinese student and his Nepali The tutor went to his home for dinner together. It happened that the tutor had something important to go out on the way, and his wife and the student could not communicate in words. When she asked the student if he wanted more, he shook his head desperately and kept saying that she thought he did not eat well at school. , and he thought it would be rude to not eat all the food, so he kept eating.
5． The principle of harmony and moderation:
Etiquette must be appropriate. For example, if you go to a wedding, you must first dress up to show that you attach great importance to it, but not overdo it, because the bride should be the most beautiful on the wedding day. At the same time, too much etiquette is a sign of unfamiliarity.