My humble opinion is that your personality conflict is a function of your personality, and you need to lean towards an independent personality. Your primary drive for love, respect, and belonging is currently your submissive personality force. And has rationalized submission as a quality and a creed. Use a sentence from the Book of Songs to describe your conduct as a person. Give me a papaya and give me Qiong Yao in return. A bandit repays you, and you will always think it is good. Giving gifts in daily life in exchange for a better positive experience. In fact, you don't care about the object of help at all, you just want to get what you need as soon as possible. The so-called feeling of lowering your profile all the time, I don’t know how old the poster is, this should always be a behavioral pattern that you have only realized in recent years, and it has been accepted by you as your own advantages and projected onto other people. Occasional personality anxieties repeatedly drive you to greater doses of respect and love. So I paid more respect and understanding, or I was very considerate of my colleagues' frustrations, or I taught my friends sincerely. You don't ask for anything in return, at least you don't think about it. But when the fa?ade of rationalization is punctured by personality anxiety, you realize the contradiction. If you want to be independent, the sense of superiority that supports your independent personality is an advantage derived from your submissive personality. The rationalization of your independent personality is your behavior when you find that others are similar to you when you haven't met the right person. Your sense of superiority is shattered and you are desperate to find love and respect. And so on. In Chinese society, the personality advantages you summarize are still undeniable. But you need to be inclined towards independent personality and explore your own advantages in all aspects. As the power to restrain the submissive personality, you can gain it by advancing and suppress it by retreating. The basic personality conflict has been resolved.