You can't avoid it,
This is not necessarily the hardest thing to face,
Loneliness is not necessarily unhappy,
Getting it may not last long,
Losing doesn't necessarily mean losing.
You may be sad for some reason,
But you can find reasons to be happy.
-
lose
The saddest and most disturbing thing is not that you know,
When you lose something you love,
It's that you're still wandering,
I didn't know it was lost.
Both poems should be fine. Make your own decisions or send them to two capitals.
A poem to comfort the bereaved. My loved one died, and I couldn't sleep because I thought about it day and night.
Put your hands together and face the west. May you be happy in the sky.
The dead are long gone, and the living should be encouraged.
An old friend went, and now only the Yellow Crane Tower next to the Yellow Crane is left.
The yellow crane never revisited earth, there have been no long white clouds for thousands of years.
Ten years of life and death are two boundless, disapproving and unforgettable. A lonely grave thousands of miles away, desolate and nowhere to talk about. Even if we don't know each other, our faces are dusty and our temples are frosty.
At night, I suddenly dreamed of going home, and the window of Xiao Xuan was being decorated. Care for each other without words, only tears thousands of lines are expected to break the heart, and the moon and night are short and loose.
Sad ChanJuan wants to break her soul, but it's hard to break her soul. If the mirror is not stained with dust, the wind will make her heart burn. Afraid of hurting the spirit, hurting the spirit, the cloud does not understand the past, people are passers-by.
Zazhang Yaoqin sings to the moon, and Yuzhu reflects the mirror without dust. It's hard to say how sad you are. It's frustrating to sit back and wait. If you can get someone, you will burn your heart and lose your soul. Falling like an old dream, the old man became a passerby.
How to comfort friends who have lost their loved ones, spend more time with them and talk to them. Let him know that you are still good friends. Don't be too sad. It will all pass. After that, it will be fine.
The simple method doesn't need a thousand words, just say, what can I do for you? A simple sentence can accomplish a lot. . . . . . .
God is fair to everyone. When you lose something, you gain something valuable. Everyone should have a grateful heart.
Don't be too sad about the death of your loved ones. In heaven, he won't like you so depressed. Cheer up and work hard for the people you love.
How to comfort friends who have lost their loved ones? Don't hesitate to contact them as soon as possible.
The most important thing is to get in touch with the people who have been hit by this as soon as possible. For those who have lost their loved ones, the first contact is the most important factor for them to get support. People who have lost their loved ones will get strength and support from others, just as plants rely on sunlight to survive and thrive. We must lend a helping hand so that those who have lost their loved ones can get strength from us.
If distance is not an issue, you should be there. If there is no problem, you should visit the family of the deceased immediately. Of course, sometimes the distance between the two places is impossible. If so, call or write a letter to express your condolences. Do not hesitate.
People together have power.
Every time a relative dies, people who come to comfort us always surprise us. They are always unexpected people. At first, I was disappointed and dissatisfied with some close relatives and friends, because they didn't show me anything at my sad moment. Later, I learned that my sadness will make those who have special relationships feel at a loss, and those who really come are more suitable for helping. Close friends often feel sad and hesitate, but they can't walk around the funeral home. They can't help. On the contrary, people who can't help but come to the door to mourn can more effectively cheer for the bereaved.
Therefore, you must listen to your inner call to decide whether to comfort others.
The English word "comfort" consists of two Latin roots "comfort" and "fortis", which means "people gain strength together". When relatives and friends die, bereaved people strongly need comfort, but the closest family members are often overwhelmed by grief and cannot be the backing of each other.
Sometimes, distant relatives and friends-people who are not key people in this case-can give assistance, energy and strength, which are often not available to exhausted close relatives.
For example, when the youngest son is killed, it is often difficult for parents to help each other. They may drag each other down instead of supporting each other. A social helper compares this situation to two curved sticks, and the curved part is the most painful part, which can't support anyone.
The father of a dead son said that when he had a good life and was about to see the light of day, his wife often struggled on the edge of suffocation. Violent pulling will pull down people who are about to get out of trouble, which will lead to resentment, resentment, guilt and countless negative emotions in turn.
Therefore, we should not think that there are so many people in each other's family that we are insignificant people. For those who have lost their loved ones, external assistance is extremely valuable. Give a helping hand gently.
Hold you in my arms
No amount of flowers, meals and sympathy cards can replace your personal existence. The warmth in the heart, a specific soothing effect, can only be produced in the contact between people. Reaching out and touching warmly, being held in your arms by a solid arm and crying together can soothe your sadness.
On the day of my mother-in-law's funeral, a nephew brought me physical contact and made me understand the importance of this kind of physical support. It was a cold day in 1 1 month, and the temperature was less than 10 degrees Fahrenheit (MINUS 40 degrees Celsius). My husband and I live in California and only have the thinnest clothes. I wear a thin coat, while my husband usually wears a suit to work. In Xiao Suo's cemetery, the cold wind roared and the earth was frozen. We got off the bus and crunched under our feet.
My nephew David opened the car door for us and we got off. He didn't go away, but opened his coat and pulled us towards his body with open arms. David was so big that he easily held us in his arms and blocked the cold wind with his coat. We stood side by side until the funeral was over.
Every time I talk about it, I can't help choking up and crying. The most important thing is not that David's body temperature gave us warmth, but that his arms gave us shelter. That thoughtfulness touched our husband and wife and made our grief a little better.
People of different ages extended a helping hand to each other when they needed it most. I am grateful for those moments and memories.
Resolve the misfortunes of this world
Carl. Karl Menninger once said that the main purpose of our life is to solve the misfortunes in the world. Every day in our lives will provide opportunities to do so. Sometimes it takes a lot of effort, sometimes it's easy, sometimes it's just holding your loved ones and wearing a coat at the funeral! But many people shrink back because of laziness, fear or selfishness.
Helping a person who has suffered bereavement is to resolve the misfortune in this world. That may delay your plan and upset your schedule, but helping others is a valuable thing, and this is your reward.
Rob? In the book Gift of Hope, Wen talked about how to get through shock and heartbreak. He interviewed more than 100 people, trying to find out why they can withstand the major tragic events in their lives. Then, an important discovery was made: those people will always remember a person who helped them and brought them hope.
Lois. Louise Carroll also wrote about this sad person in the article Comfort. "Although you can't see the tears in his eyes, the physical touch and affectionate care must make his heart warm. In the future, he may not remember what people said at that time, but he will remember the warmth and closeness. Then there will be a layer of ointment of love to cover his sadness and help him tide over the difficulties. "
How to build the ointment of love? As long as you really care and have the will to help others, listen attentively, pray sincerely and stay with them as much as possible.
It's hard to say anything to people who have lost their loved ones for the first time. Many people will avoid them because they can't think of the right words to say. It seems that nothing or what is said is right. But you don't have to do this. You just have to say what you think. Saint-Exupery once wrote, "Only when you look at things sincerely can you look at them correctly. The naked eye can't see the main points. " This is because most people are too good at hiding their true feelings. When we ask a bereaved person how is it going? The answer is often: "Not bad." We should go beyond these rigid answers and find out the truth.
With you
Sometimes hugging or shaking hands can express personal feelings better than words. I often ask those who have lost their loved ones what impressed them the most. They always say over and over again that they can't remember anything they said at that time, but they will always remember those people who came home that day.
Go to a bereaved family, be smooth, calm and compassionate. Compassion means moving from pity to empathy, and opening up to them in a gentle way. This means putting aside personal worries and needs, completely liberating yourself and being "together" with those who have lost their loved ones.
Expressing sympathy is usually saying nothing. I regard a priest's performance as a good example. The priest came to the bedside of the deceased, prayed with his relatives, went into the living room, took off his coat and tie, and sat in a rocking chair without saying a word.
As soon as our hospice volunteers saw the priest sit down, they knew that what they should do was over and there was no need to stay any longer. The priest will take care of the wife of the deceased until other relatives arrive. He didn't say anything, but the whole room could feel the pity because of his presence.
The night my uncle died, the situation was similar. A young man came to pay his respects, claiming to be a student taught by my uncle in a middle school ten years ago. He said that my uncle is a good man and a good teacher. Then he sat in the corner of the room and stayed for four hours.
Finally, the young man knelt silently beside his uncle's coffin and resigned. My uncle and I were so moved that we couldn't speak. During those long and sad four hours, the young man didn't have to say anything. His existence is worth a thousand words.
Appendix—
Inappropriate pleasantries
When people are upset or speechless, they usually say some cliches. I have talked to many people who have suffered bereavement, and I know that it is most inappropriate to say some polite words to them when a person has just lost a loved one. The old manners are too artificial, meaningless and unhelpful. In fact, it will make sad people feel unknown and lonely.
Please don't say:
Time will heal everything.
Look on the bright side.
The person you love has gone to heaven.
God will never let us bear it.
I'm sorry for your loss.
I can understand how you feel.
Everything will be fine.
If there is anything I can do, please don't hesitate to ask.
Please rephrase:
You must feel that this kind of pain has no end.
This pain is really unbearable.
The person you love has let go, but I know you are still in pain!
You must feel very bitter.
Cry if you want. It's okay.
I'm worried about you. I can't imagine how you feel now.
what can I do for you? Please let me know.
I'll call again tomorrow and see what I can do.
Can only let time slowly dilute this pain, encourage him to talk more, don't hold it in your heart. As his friend, he needs patience and sincere comfort. Whoever comes to this world first will come late and then go earlier and earlier. It is independent of human will. For the elders, there are fewer filial piety. For other relatives, love and enjoyment are also a blessing. Don't let the dead relatives worry about themselves. They are alive in the sky, and they also hope that the living people will be safe and happy. Years later, people who love and care about each other will meet in heaven.
How to comfort friends who have lost their loved ones? I have experienced the feeling of leaving my loved ones. Coincidentally, my name is Lin Daiyu, too. Getting rid of it is a long process. You'd better not say anything, lend her a shoulder and make her cry enough. Or she doesn't want to show her vulnerability, you can leave a message in her space or send a message to comfort and encourage her. Don't mention it to her face, she will lose control and be very sad.
How to comfort friends who have lost their loved ones? People can't be resurrected after death, and pain can't help. Only by cheering yourself up is the comfort to the deceased. He doesn't want you to be devastated!