Whenever this time, I will be a little confused. Busy and laughing on weekdays, why is there always a touch of sadness on this day? Since we miss our deceased relatives, we should be deeply saddened. Why hold back your tears and turn them into smiles?
At that time, of course, I didn't understand how complicated and profound wisdom life and death are, and how can it be simply described by laughter and tears!
Hero's view of life and death
When I was young, I was deeply shocked by Wen Tianxiang's heroism when I read "Who has lived and died since ancient times". .
Later, I read in Historical Records: "People are inherently mortal, or they are heavier than Mount Tai or lighter than a feather", and I was also impressed by their arrogant courage.
Later, I read a poem by the poet petofi: "Life is precious, but love is more expensive. If you are free, you can throw both. " Feel the true meaning of life and yearn for the other side of "freedom".
In these magnificent poems, giving one's life for righteousness and giving one's life for benevolence has become a higher pursuit of life. It seems that heroes despise life and wise men are above life and death. They all disdain to talk about life and death, but take life as a reference and compare what they cherish most with life to set off their nobility.
Inspired by "women don't let an eyebrow grow", I was deeply influenced by such a heroic view of life and death. When I was young, I thought that life was something that ordinary people cared about and death was not worth cherishing. There are more important things in the world than life and death.
View of life and death in religious philosophy
The concept of reincarnation in Buddhism is a systematic interpretation of life and death. In addition, Buddhist fables and short stories express the concepts of life and death more sympathetically:
Story 1:
Before the baby was born, the Buddha said goodbye to the little angel who was leaving. The little angel kept crying: "I am afraid that I will become so small and helpless." The Buddha comforted him: "Don't worry, son, I have arranged a bodhisattva on earth, just to protect you, take care of you and love you." The child stopped crying and asked, "What's the name of the Bodhisattva?" The Buddha smiled and said, "The name is not important. You can just call her-mom.
Story 2:
There was a mother named Godami, but her son died for some reason. She was in pain and went to see the Buddha with her son's body.
Knowing that she was heartbroken and upset, the Buddha promised to save her son as long as she went to the village and asked people who had never had relatives to die for mustard seeds. If you answer, "Go door to door. But from sunrise to sunset, she just couldn't find a family whose relatives had not died. At this time, she realized that not only her relatives died, but also more people died than those who were alive.
The Buddha said, "Answer and answer! Now you understand that all beings have to die. Before the desires of all beings are satisfied, death takes away human life. "
Buddhists are merciful to life and death. Born bitter, we are cared for and cared for by the bodhisattvas of this world. Death is bitter, but all beings are equal. Before transcending samsara, it is only part of the journey of life.
Unlike Buddhists who think that life and death are bitter, Zhuangzi thinks that life and death are natural processes. "If his life floats, his death will rest".
"Zhuangzi's wife died, Keiko hung it, and Zhuangzi sang in the drum basin." Zhuangzi elaborated the evolution process of life in "Happy Travel": In Zhuangzi's view, no matter life or death, it is a change of "Qi". Death is not the end of life, but a natural cyclical process, born in "Qi", belonging to "Qi" and existing in nature.
This is the same as the concept of "from dust to dust" in the Bible. Death is the return of things.
But the difference is that the Christian view of life and death revolves around "original sin" and "doomsday judgment" and puts life and death in the value evaluation system. In Zhuangzi's mind, life and death have nothing to do with value judgment. He crossed the boundary between life and death, put life in an infinite cycle, and even thought that the highest realm was death without death, neither death nor life, reaching eternity and pursuing immortality of life.
Cicero was an ancient Roman politician and philosopher born in 180 after Zhuangzi's death. He did not pursue the eternity of life, but also believed that death existed in nature. In his works, death is described as a mature melon, which alternates day and night, which is a natural phenomenon. He wrote in "On Old Age": "I think the' mature' stage near death is very lovely. The closer I get to death, the more I feel as if I have experienced a long journey and finally saw land. My ship will dock at my hometown port. "
Folk custom and the view of life and death in modern psychology
If we say that life and death have been beautifully interpreted in recent years, we have to mention two animated feature films, Dream Journey Ring and Soul, which depict a world of "the other side of life" and "where did life come from" respectively.
Travel Notes of the Dream Ring tells the story of MiG, a little boy who loves music, who started a wonderful adventure in a colorful and mysterious world. It was inspired by the Day of the Dead in Mexico. In the eyes of Mexicans, death is the highest meaning of life, and life and death complement each other to complete a life cycle. Every year on the Day of the Dead, Mexicans pay homage to the dead, but there is no sadness. They even sang and danced all night to celebrate the annual reunion with their deceased relatives.
The magnificent world of the dead is colorful, warm and affectionate, far away from the darkness, cold, gloom and terror we imagined. The dead are singing and dancing here, helping each other and loving each other. There are beautiful fireworks shows here, and there is a rainbow-like petal bridge leading to the world, through which the deceased can visit their families on the Day of the Dead.
But all this has a premise, that is, there are people in the world who remember you; If you want to visit the world through the Petal Bridge, someone needs to take out your photos on the Day of the Dead.
In Mexican folklore, human death is divided into three stages: the first stage of death is announced by the hospital, that is, physical death; The second stage is the end of the funeral, which represents the end of the identity of the dead in human society; The last time you died, the last person in the world who remembered you forgot you. This is complete death and disappearance.
Please remember me, I will live in your memory forever. True love can cross the barrier between life and death.
Therefore, death is not terrible, what is really terrible is being forgotten. Death is not the end of love, but forgetting.
Soul tells a story about exploring the meaning of life.
Before the birth of mankind, this was a gathering place for souls. Here, all kinds of souls are quantitatively classified and arranged: a little narcissism, a little humility, a little courage, a little cowardice ... Because of the different proportion of ingredients and the different guidance methods of spiritual teachers, every unique soul in the world exists.
In the mighty army of the Tang Dynasty, there was only one unruly thousand-year-old soul-No.22, who refused to go to that boring world, which made many immortal spiritual teachers angry. It is such a soul who abandons life and is world-weary, and Joey, who is extremely eager for rebirth, mistakenly becomes a partner of "teacher-student love", seeking the meaning of life and the ultimate spark in the world of mortals, and feeling the happiness and hope of life.
The spark of life is not necessarily a magnificent career, an outstanding achievement, or an unattainable talent. Every ordinary individual has his own spark, perhaps humble or subtle, but it is this spark that lights up the star of the soul. On the way to the earth, every soul is full of hope for love and expectation for life, so cherish now is the eternal flower of all mortals. With such a transparent idea, Joey gave the chance of life to the 22nd soul.
This involves some concepts of modern psychology in the spiritual field: our life journey has its own blueprint, and this colorful and profound world can make every rich, unique and self-satisfied soul have a way to go and a branch to live in. We just need to explore the great self: who am I? Who can I be?
Both films fascinate me. They discussed the similarities between life and death. The source of life, the moment of life and the other side of life all occupy a place in the long river of life. We have no reason to despise life. No matter who our parents are and what their origins are, we are all born of wisdom and great love in the universe. There is no need to be afraid of death, because death is an indispensable part of life. I firmly believe that before the next parting, there will be people in this world who love themselves forever, just as we love them.
Cognitive fear of death
We live in a cultural tradition that says nothing about death.
Confucius said, "If you don't know life, how can you know death?" Since we don't even know what it is to be alive, what it is after death is even more unknowable. Even sages like Confucius avoid talking about death, let alone ordinary people.
Avoiding the topic of death, we have spent more than two thousand years in this view of life and death.
Whether in literary works or in real life, we can always see such a scene: whenever a relative wants to explain the things before he dies, people around him will always shake their heads like rattles: no, no, stop it. It seems that if this is not the case, there is no way to show affection for dying people. The grief of the people around you is so overwhelming that the dying person has to stop talking.
When I was a child, when I saw this place, I would also be deeply involved in the play, imagining the sadness of being there. After experiencing the real "Where Are You Going?", I deeply feel that letting go in controllable sadness, wishing the life role of the deceased a smooth journey and striving to fulfill the unfinished wish of the deceased is the greatest love and respect for the deceased. When the dying relatives can clearly express themselves, it is enough to temporarily put down their emotions, listen quietly and remember deeply.
The topic of death can be avoided, but the real death cannot be avoided. Throughout our lives, we will experience it and move towards it. Including the death of a close relative and his own death.
Scott parker, the author of the classic psychological masterpiece The Road Few People Walk, once said: "Avoiding problems and pain is the root of human psychological diseases. If it is not handled in time, it will pay a heavy price and bear greater pain. "
The most terrible thing in the world is not what we are experiencing, but the unknown of the doomed future!
Ignorance of death fills us with fear. The topic of fear and escape from death is more painful than facing death directly.
When we have to face it one day, if we lack the most basic knowledge, the consequences may be devastating.
Death is the greatest wisdom in life.
Writer Lin Qingxuan quoted such a Buddhist story in Fortunately, Life is Parting:
On the bank of Yokogawa River, the Buddha and several disciples are walking. He suddenly stopped and asked:
"What do you think, is there much sea water in the four seas?" Or did you shed more tears when you left for your lover from birth to death? "
"Buddha, of course, shed more tears for his lover from the beginning of life and death."
The disciples all answered like this.
After listening to his disciples' answers, the Buddha satisfactorily led his disciples to continue walking.
Naturally, no matter how thoroughly we think about death and how well prepared we are, when that day really comes, we may still be panicked and heartbroken.
Death itself is not necessarily painful, but the reluctance, persistence and nostalgia for the loss of loved ones will inevitably make people cry like a sea.
After truly experiencing bereavement, we will understand that even if we firmly believe that the soul of the deceased is with us, even if we firmly believe that the deceased still loves us as he did when he was alive, it may not be able to save our deep pain and loneliness. Because we care more about the place to spend the night, the warmth to hug and the daily life to laugh at.
But at least, if we seriously study the compulsory course of life, we can light a bright light for our hearts and let us see a little light when we walk alone in the dark.
Understanding life and death is the highest wisdom of human beings. How to accept the death of relatives and how to face your own death is the most difficult compulsory course in life.
Maybe each of us has this wisdom, but we just need to be lit up. If there is such a class, with great enthusiasm, gentle compassion and deep love, to explore the culture and life connotation of death without reservation and help us show a possible physical, mental and spiritual path in the process of death, it will surely light our lamp of wisdom.
Reading the book Death Lesson: A Discussion on Death may be such a process that makes us fearless of the unknown!
After all, it's no big deal except life and death!