Today, the "three feelings" only talk about friendship, so affection and love can only be wronged.
In this world, you may not even have love for doctors, but you will have friendship. Unless you live alone in the middle of a deserted desert, there will be friendship where there are people. Qin Gui has three good friends, not to mention you.
Celebrities also talk about friendship. Bacon once said: "As long as you think about how many things a person can't do in his life, you can know how good friendship is."
Therefore, there will be different friends at all stages of life. When studying, some students will develop into friendship; After work, colleagues will develop into friendship; After retirement, card friends will develop into friendship. In a word, as long as we live, everyone can't live without friendship.
However, for many people, friendship seems to have a shelf life, some for life, some for three to five years, and some may change in a few months. The reason is that one side of friendship is too utilitarian, or the boat of friendship is overturned in the following two cases.
First of all, perfection and picky, picky about everything a friend does.
Recently, I read One of the Most Important Basic Classics for Studying the Imperial Examination System in Tang Dynasty, and one of the short stories was very interesting.
During the reign of Tang Xianzong, there was a monk in Chang 'an who was very good at poetry. He is better at finding faults in other people's poems than poetry. In particular, when someone writes a poem and draws lessons from the language or content of his predecessors, he will definitely quote the classics and criticize them, holding the attitude of "Laozi is the first judge in the world".
The poet Zhang Ji disliked his vicious criticism. One day, he took a poem he had just written, "When I gave it away, I remembered it when I left home," and asked him to identify whether it was related to his predecessors. Monks are not good at stubble, but they really read poetry books. After only a glance, he casually recited, "Look at his peach and plum hair and miss the spring scenery in the backyard."
After listening, Zhang Ji couldn't help laughing, then shook his head and left.
Only then did he realize that the monk was idle and found fault with his eggs. If this is plagiarism, then there is really no originality in the world. Even a dream of red mansions is such a great work, there are many poems borrowed from other people's works.
For example, Lin Daiyu's "three unique questions", one of which is:
My eyes are full of tears, my eyes are full of tears. Who did you throw them away for?
It is difficult to give gifts to the people, which is not sad!
This poem is obviously paraphrased from Li's A Farewell to the Mouth in the late Ming Dynasty:
My eyes are full of tears, but who do I miss you for?
Proud of being a traitor now, it's even sadder to be blind in an instant!
If we infer from this, isn't A Dream of Red Mansions vacated from the four classical novels and given other better works?
So harsh, it is clearly nitpicking.
The friendship between friends is even more so. If you have such friends around you, you will feel the pain of being delayed.
The second is ingratitude. Not only do you not thank your friends for their help, but you will also find reasons to say that you earned it by yourself.
An American drove to an important meeting, but when he got there, he found the parking space very tight. If it takes more than half an hour to walk back to the next parking lot, it will affect the meeting. So he said to himself, "God, if you can find me a parking space in two minutes, I swear to quit gambling, be a vegetarian, cut off contact with my lover and take my family to church every Sunday."
As soon as the voice fell, Americans saw a car coming out of the dense traffic. The American population reads "Thank God", and then the car will be ready. At the moment of getting off the bus, the American said loudly, "God, you don't have to find me a parking space. I'll find one myself! " "Then, I walked happily to the meeting place.
As soon as they finished saying "Thank God", they immediately put aside their relationship with God. Such people belong to people who don't know how to be grateful.
There are many such examples in life.
Why do such people know that it is the help of others, but they don't know how to be grateful? In fact, sometimes he just wants to show his cleverness or hard work, or feels that his friend didn't say thank you, which slowly formed a cycle. No matter how many friends have helped him, hard work is the most important thing. In this way of thinking, they also think that friends should help themselves, and there is no need to talk about it. Over time, it will develop into a misinterpretation of "I will succeed even if no one helps me."
In fact, this is the biggest blasphemy against friendship. You don't have to remember that you helped a friend. Friends help you, you must not forget.
Epiktetos said: "With a little effort, you can make friends in prosperity; It's even harder to find friendship in a difficult situation than to ascend to heaven. "So, cherish the friends who lend you a helping hand when you are in trouble, be grateful and be ready to help other friends in need.
This is true friendship.
So how can friendship last forever?
I think my friend Lao Zhai understands.
Lao Zhai said: Friendship does not mean to say hello every day, but to care for each other. If you have problems, you can come and help without calling.
Lao Zhai also said: There is no need to say hello, no matter how far it is, just say "take a wooden stick out" and start chatting.
Lao Zhai added: The most important thing is. Although my friends are far away from Qianshan, they never seem to leave. When they woke up, it seemed that they had tea together last night. This feeling is right.