Z is a southerner, an only child, whose father died young and his mother brought him up. Z was admitted to a junior college, majoring in metal. He was completely uninterested and ran away before graduation. At that time, he was madly in love with Russia, the great patriotic war, the great people, and the great Dostoevsky. He talked about his knowledge and feelings about Russia all the time and preached it to every friend around him.
The first time we met was in Shenzhen. He was 19 years old and I was 22 years old. We had a meal and went to Zhuhai to meet another elder who was engaged in ideological research. I really don't understand and am not interested in ideological research. I wrote some pure literary works at that time. In his eyes, I was an ignorant and moaning young woman in literature, and he was the only bright outlet for literature.
I went to Beijing first in 25, and became a glorious young man drifting in the North. Soon, Z also came to Beijing, but because of love, he talked about a girlfriend on the Internet, that is, his future wife. Z's girlfriend is a doctor, and she is much older than him. It stands to reason that she has become his mentor both academically and in life. However, Z is a male chauvinist, and his toughness gradually softens his girlfriend. By the time they get married, his doctor girlfriend has been transformed into a good wife and mother.
after we got married separately, one lived in Yanjiao and the other in Daxing, so we met less and less. I am also a little afraid to meet him. Facing the books in several rooms, I feel smaller than an ant. Besides, he always criticizes me for bending over five measures of rice, which is vulgar. At that time, I was powerless to defend myself. As a youth drifting in the North, I had to live first.
With his profound knowledge of Russian studies, he successfully became a columnist, and later he became the editor of a reading channel at Sina. com, and he published several books one after another. In his field, it is gradually gaining popularity.
Later, his daughter was born, and they bought another apartment in Pinggu, so the family pressure gradually increased. I heard from other friends that he quit his job at Sina and worked as a freelance writer at home, trading stocks and writing analytical articles for Yanjiao's property market. He always stays up late, either studying stocks or writing articles. And his wife is also starting a business and opening a training school.
yes, he bought two houses when the house price was the highest, and he was caught in the bubble of the stock market. I don't know what happened in this, which caused his career center to deviate so much.
the last time we met was in Zhongguancun, when he was still working at Sina. A friend from Hangzhou came to Beijing, and we received him in a Vietnamese restaurant. I was really happy that day when three people I hadn't seen for years got together, but chatting and chatting, my friend from Hangzhou and I stopped talking and only listened to him. What he said really made us don't know what to do next. He talked about his education view and said that it was useless not to let children learn English. All the languages in the world were inferior to Chinese. You don't have to learn math, just know the addition and subtraction within ten, as long as you don't make mistakes in changing money, and others have computers. In his eyes, everything is useless, especially literature and aesthetics. It is best to learn a practical technology and find a job in the future. After dinner, he went back to Sina to work. My friend in Hangzhou and I continued to sit for a while, and we both expressed concern about his mental state, which was too extreme and would affect the children. However, he has always been like this, and I didn't take it too personally.
I haven't been in contact for the next few years, and occasionally I look at his circle of friends, which are also some academic research articles.
Until that day, a friend on WeChat asked me, did you know that Z had an accident? As soon as I heard it, I was stunned. I repeatedly confirmed with him that something had happened. He sent me a link to an obituary, saying that he had died of a sudden heart attack and was not rescued. It was only a few hours from the onset to his death.
I can't believe it at all. I asked some other friends on WeChat for verification. Most of them were as shocked as me, and some people confirmed it to me.
The next day, I rushed to Pinggu Funeral Home, where I met him in solemn mourning, lying in a circle of white flowers. The coffin was like a small match box, and he was put in it. His face is pale, and he looks small, not as tall and dignified as he usually does when he makes a generous speech.
Z's wife jumped on me as soon as she saw me, and we both wept bitterly. I knew her grievance, pain and despair. However, they still have daughters, mothers and mortgages ... I cried bitterly. When I came out of the funeral home and looked at the fiery June sun, I only felt cold all over.
in the months after that, I often woke up from my dreams, and all I could see was his pale face lying in the coffin. If he can survive, I think no matter how far away, I will often visit their husband and wife, and I will no longer be afraid of being despised by him for not studying. I will try my best to persuade him to cherish his health, stay away from the property market and the stock market, and persuade him to give up smoking and not stay up late.
Nothing is more important than life, but we don't just live to live. Often, our dignity is returned to us only at the moment of death.