Both came from a wealthy family. They also read poetry and books, mastered foreign languages, learned piano and dance, practiced landscape painting, received diplomas from famous girls’ schools, and hired elegant foreign teachers; and they had the same natural beauty and temperament. Talented and intelligent, with the same appearance and talent...
(Lin Huiyin)
But if we look at the lives of the two people, perhaps Lin Huiyin is more in line with our "rich people" today. With the expectation of "raising a daughter", she truly transformed affluence into a "high starting point" and a "high profile" of lifelong benefits.
But Lu Xiaoman regards being wealthy as "squandering", squandering money and appearance, squandering talent and love, and even squandering his unique youth and life.
What is the difference between wealthy daughters?
(Lu Xiaoman on the left, Lin Huiyin on the right)
1
A truly enriching education is not to be arty, but to find your own Lifelong Ambition
Lin and Lu received the best and richest education at that time, which was a combination of Chinese and Western education since they were young. Looking back later, they both had great attainments in poetry, foreign languages, painting, and piano. , each has his or her own strengths and is hard to distinguish.
So is there any difference in their education?
The answer is: the purpose and realm of education are different.
Lu Xiaoman’s education was a typical “lady-like education” of that era. At that time, the word “social butterfly” (not a derogatory meaning) had just been imported from Western Europe and was highly respected in China’s upper class society. The concept of "blood" was strengthened in ideology, thus giving birth to the class of "socialites".
Having a daughter in the family not only means that the woman is beautiful, graceful, noble, and elegant, but also the "symbol" and "glory" of the wealthy family, and may even be through their presence in social situations. , bringing the family deeper power combination and social influence.
So in that era, people such as Tang Ying, Sheng Aiji, Zhang Hanzhi, Wang Yingxia, etc. were mostly built towards the standard of celebrities since childhood. They studied poetry and songs, or they had no special purpose (to pass the time) ), or following the crowd (following the mainstream form), even with some utilitarianism and vanity... In summary, it is learning for the sake of learning and being arty.
But Lin Huiyin is different.
His father Lin Changmin was also a unique official at that time. He was not only an upright official, but also like a ray of breeze, full of righteousness. He liked to associate with literati, skilled in poetry, writing, and calligraphy. At that time, he also intended to train his daughter to be a scholar rather than a socialite.
Lin Huiyin traveled to Europe with his father when he was 16 years old, which is in line with today's concept of raising a wealthy daughter to "read more books and go further to know what she wants."
In the process of "looking at the world", she opened her eyes to different architectural images and design art, which became her lifelong ambition and interest. The highest level of education is to obtain a true ambition.
Today we talk about wealth and education, and the only purpose is to help her find her true interests in the wider world.
It is not just for a job, a means of livelihood, and a source of income, it is also the soul that outlines a person's life, pulling on a person's spirit and spirit, making people always have the dream of struggle. And the goal is to settle down.
Without this true ambition, just like Lu Xiaoman, even if he is pampered and well-fed, his spiritual world is barren and lonely, and needs to be filled with more sounds and colors.
2
The true taste of wealth is not fashion and luxury,
but how to dress up and experience it with your heart
The ladies of the Republic of China , and absolutely no effort is spared in buying clothes. Lu Xiaoman loves beautiful clothes and wears them while busy going to the theater, listening to operas, and playing mahjong. And Tang Ying, who is known as the "Southern Tang and Northern China", has a detailed record related to it:
She had ten gold-inlaid suitcases, and expensive fur coats were hung all over the big cupboard; Her favorite cheongsam is studded with rubies and gold threads; she has a specially matched tailor; she has everything a French aristocratic lady has... The level of fashion and avant-garde is unmatched by others.
And what about Lin Huiyin? He is also a person who loves beauty very much. But there happens to be a record that illustrates her taste:
She wears a well-fitting cheongsam, which is both simple and elegant. She has dressed like this since she got married. The cheongsam of high quality and fine workmanship has a unique charm when worn on her tall and well-proportioned body. The demure, dignified and light oriental beauty is all in it.
When I read this passage, I couldn’t help but think of my grandfather Lin Xiaoxun. When he was a Hanlin scholar, he often liked to wear a blue shirt and go out in the streets like an ordinary person. He was very low-key but could not hide his elegance.
Women pursue beauty, which should be praised. Including today's concept of raising a wealthy daughter, the importance of having taste and managing appearance is also highly emphasized.
But taste is not about fashion and luxury, it is not about owning LV, GUCCI, and PRADA, but it is about knowing how to choose something that is truly suitable for you through a higher aesthetic taste.
Beautiful people and beautiful things complement each other, rather than being burdened by them.
A higher level of taste is to know how to use a pair of simple eyes and a meticulous heart to discover the original beauty and uniqueness contained in everything. Every flower and every grass is beautiful, and the level of taste lies in the ability to experience it.
3
The real wealthy circle is not about high officials and dignitaries,
but about being with thoughtful people
Speaking of In Lin Huiyin's circle, it is not difficult for people to think of the famous and controversial "Madame's Living Room". Not to mention whether this living room is the hostess's ulterior motive, let's just look at the guests in this room:
There are political scientist Qian Duansheng, physicist Zhou Peiyuan, and writers Shen Congwenhe and Hu Shi. , there are the art historian Deng Yizhe, the philosopher Jin Yuelin, the great poet Xu Zhimo... There are also professors and famous scholars from Tsinghua University, Peking University and Yan University.
They talked about literature, ideas, schools, and joked about China and the West, ancient and modern times. Mrs. Lin’s living room seemed to be the most famous cultural salon in the capital. The hostess of the living room became a central figure in Beijing-style literature.
Coincidentally, at the same time in Shanghai, there was also a "wife's living room" centered on Lu Xiaoman (another saying at the time, Bing Xin's "wife's living room" may refer to Lu Xiaoman).
In Mrs. Lu's living room, there are wealthy young men and socialites coming and going. They have money and leisure, and they are together just to pass the boring time.
While drinking and drinking, they enjoyed the joy brought by dancing, playing cards, and listening to operas, as well as the deliberate compliments from men and women... This kind of circle brought her numbness and despondency.
How important is a circle to a person’s growth and influence? Just look at Lin Huiyin and Lu Xiaoman. Today we emphasize affluence, desperately choose prestigious schools and communities, and squeeze ourselves into better circles, in order to give our children a better network environment.
These may be true in themselves, but a truly nutritious circle is not about being rich, but about being with thoughtful people.
4
The true nobility of wealth is not to be self-centered in the world,
but to have self-respect, self-love and great love
Remember the past I saw this sentence in the theory of enrichment: Parents want to give their children better material conditions. They don’t necessarily want to give them the status of a princess, a wealthy background, gorgeous clothes, and an aristocratic education. They just want her to be alone one day. When you enter this prosperous society, you won't be kidnapped by a candy from a caring man.
In other words, the true nobility we rich girls expect only needs to do one thing, which is to wrap ourselves up tightly like a flower bud, keep a distance from those brats, and always respect ourselves. body and mind.
If divorce, abortion, and smoking have pushed the originally beautiful Lu Xiaoman step by step into the abyss, then the root cause behind this is her lack of protection and attention to her own body.
As a married woman, "One Night in Fei Leng Cui" was the beginning of her willfulness in mind and fearlessness in body. Then, she had a hasty abortion for the sake of love, injured her body during the abortion, and started smoking in order to reduce the pain. After that, she couldn't stop smoking, and she couldn't do without cigarettes, money, and the man who took her to smoke. .
It can be said that Lu Xiaoman is a woman who truly loves her soul and wanders willfully in the kingdom of thoughts, but does not truly cherish her body. In comparison, Lin Huiyin did much better.
When she was in her prime, she encountered the fierce pursuit of Xu Zhimo. Instead of blindly following her feelings, she communicated and discussed with her father first, as if she understood self-respect and self-love; later she moved to the building in old Beijing. In the face of protection and in the face of the flames of war, the bravery, determination and love shown by women can be regarded as having great love in their hearts.
Isn’t the wealth and nobility we hope for just the self-respect and self-love that understands the body, and the broadness and tolerance in the spiritual realm?
The difference between wealth and nourishment, It seems like a hair's breadth, but it's thousands of miles away. Rather than saying that being rich or poor, being rich, being free-range, or being raised with love are all ways of loving, it is better to say that this is the measure and skill of love.