I spent most of my childhood by the pond.
As I get older, I don't want to be near Wangshui Reservoir any more. According to the old man, when Japan invaded China, it waged a "germ war" and cultivated a creature-Schistosoma japonicum in our mountainous area. Many snails in this pond are parasitic with this terrible bacteria. Once a person is infected with this kind of bacteria in water, he will be skinny, his abdominal cavity will swell and accumulate water, and he will soon die of failure. Since then, I have stayed away from it like a plague.
Visiting this Wang Reservoir again originated from an incident thirty-six years ago. That day, a pair of misty eyes cried goodbye to me. Before I could see her face clearly, I was awakened by a loud cry: "Is she really imitating Zhu Yingtai?" I slipped out of bed and ran barefoot looking for tears. Far away, I saw a group of people whispering and pointing at her door. My brain is blank. I tried my best to clear the crowd and rushed to her. See her hopeless, wet lying on the door, black at the moment, passed out. People are very anxious: some pinch me, some pinch me. I don't know how long it took, but a heartbreaking voice woke me up: "blame me, blame me!" " I suddenly looked up and saw her grieving mother. With tears in my eyes, I stepped forward and grabbed her by the collar. I was so angry that I found an outlet like a flood.
Since then, in the countryside for more than ten years, no matter whether it is windy or rainy, whether I am married or not, I will sit by the pond where she died for me almost every day. There, I let go of my memories again and again and poured out my unforgettable thoughts over and over again. I have always regarded the aquatic plants in the pond as her hair; Occasionally, when I see the yard by the pond, I will think of the sound of her smashing clothes. Sparkling water, I always feel that it is her reluctant eyes; When the wicker beside the pond brushed my cheek, I often thought it was intimacy with her.
One day more than forty years ago, her family moved to our village because the river collapsed. An alley in the north of my house is the only way to her house. When her family moved, there were some sundries and rubbish everywhere. This is in our country, not many people care. But when she saw me, she showed great regret. I spent half a day cleaning the alley and the house before and after, which was many times cleaner than before. That sweaty cheek became the first photo in my mind.
There's one more thing I can't forget. On that day, the north wind roared, dripping into ice, and the nostrils vented into clouds of fog. My father was the captain of the production team during the Great Leap Forward. At that time, due to the prevalence of exaggerated false reports, most of the food in the team had been handed over, and there was not much left. Seeing that people in the village starved to death one by one, my father decided to open a warehouse and divide the food among themselves. I almost went to jail for this. During the "Cultural Revolution", some people brought up the old story, found out the "class enemy" hidden by their father, and criticized it day and night. That day, Guang Chen, who had already had dinner, stood at the entrance of the village, looking around again and again, expecting his father to appear. On the gable by the roadside, posters criticizing my father crackled in the wind. With tears in my eyes, I stamped my feet and kept rubbing my hands. She suddenly appeared before my eyes, as if she had fallen from the sky. Silently, she tied a scarf around my neck first, then took my hand and put it on my face to keep warm, and repeatedly advised me, "Go home, your father can't come back tonight." I can't help it, my face is full of tears.
One day when primary school is about to graduate, I still remember one thing. At that time, because my family was poor, my nutrition was at most an egg. It's good to eat some meat and poultry for a month. I often skip breakfast and hold the idea of saving money. Walking on the way to school, my legs are like lead, and my steps are stumbling. She seemed to have noticed me long ago, and suddenly took out a sweet potato from her schoolbag and handed it to my mouth. I wolfed it down, and she looked at me quietly with pity and concern in her eyes.
The egg hill on the east side of the pond is also engraved with our help. On that day, the clouds were light and the wind was light, and the maple leaves were crimson. I went up the mountain with her to cut firewood, and she repeatedly asked me to rest. And said, "Cutting wood is done by girls, and you men are not good at it." I didn't listen to her advice, waved a sickle and quickly cut a small bundle. I was so proud that I accidentally cut my finger. Blood instantly dyed the grass leaves and branches red. She saw it and put my finger in her mouth to suck. She also helped me stop bleeding with waste soil and applied fine leaf grass to my wound. Then, I always comforted me: "It doesn't matter, I have helped you diminish inflammation, and you can't get hurt." Later, she forced me to sit on a stone and continue chopping wood. After cutting, she quickly tied the bundle and put the best bundle of firewood on my shoulder. On my way home, I saw a beautiful rainbow in the sky.
In the spring of the late 1970s, I was recruited from school to join the army in Beijing. On that day, the red flag fluttered and gongs and drums roared. Some village cadres and neighbors came to see us off. Suddenly, a familiar figure squeezed through the crowd and suddenly caught my eye. She quickly handed me a hand-pasted envelope. There are no love letters in it, only two collars. It was hooked with cotton thread removed from gauze gloves, and there was still kerosene smell and sweat on it. When she left, she repeatedly told: "The neckline is easy to get dirty. Always wear this collar to prevent dust. " I just held her hand hard and didn't even say a word.
On the third day after I retired from the army and returned to my hometown, she asked me to meet under the willow tree by the village pond and said that she had something very important to find me. That night, the moon was bright and the shore willows were gently brushed. I came to the pond early, waiting for a whisper from the expectation center, complaining about how she remembered to arrange to meet at this place (afterwards: it was actually a strange surprise). Just wondering, she appeared in front of me: "Guess what I brought you?" Before I could answer, suddenly, she pulled out a pair of "Merlot" from behind and handed it to me: "I made it myself, and my heart is in it." Say that finish, her face flushed, her hands twisted, her eyes looked at her toes and turned to run. That night, I stayed alone by the pond for a long time. What I feel is not loneliness, but true and pure sweetness. Because in my hometown, once a girl gives her hand-made "thousand-layer" cloth shoes to whom, it means that she has entrusted her life to whom. And after sending it out, I often slip away shyly without waiting for the other party to answer.
A few days later, she invited me to the pond at the entrance of the village. On that day, the clouds were very low and the stars could not be seen. I don't know who's phonograph is playing the violin "Butterfly Lovers", vaguely floating across the water. This time she came to the pond early. I haven't seen her for a few days, and I found that she was haggard a lot. She told me that the family would marry her to the horse in the neighboring village. According to the matchmaker, this horse is an only child, and there are four big tile houses at home. He recently took his father's job and went to work in a municipal enterprise, with a monthly salary of more than RMB 100 (you know, in those days, it was good for ordinary employees to earn RMB 60 or 70 a month). In contrast, the situation in my family is much worse. A family of five, three brothers and sisters are crowded in two dark and damp old houses. It is still unknown whether they can find a job after demobilization. After hearing what she said, her parents seemed to have eaten the weight and made up their minds. They have already let out the wind: "My eldest daughter won't marry unless the Ma family." I pretended as if nothing had happened and said, "Just marry. That's not very good! " "After listening to my words, she was very angry:" Good what? ! I only have you in my heart, and I won't marry whoever he is! " She also told me painfully: "If Dad is short of money, learn from Zhu Yingtai and become a butterfly. "that night, I didn't say anything ... unexpectedly, the scene of heartbreaking finally appeared: she really jumped into the pond for me! This has become the pain of my life.
The timeline quickly turned to the nineties. By then, I had been promoted to a director. I met her father at a cocktail party. I toasted him with extremely complicated feelings, and he seemed shocked and sobbed. My mind is blank, and I don't know whether to drink or cry.
It's all over. Wangtang at the entrance of the village, your heart is filled with beautiful mountains and clouds. It is full of the joy of my childhood, the frivolity of teenagers, the dreams of teenagers, the helplessness and confusion of middle age, and the endless sadness of life. Today, the sun is still shining, but I have decided not to visit again.