Our contact with Lu Xun is actually very limited.
"Old money has held more than one special class of Zhou Brothers in Peking University. In Peking University, Mr. China's lectures have different styles, but few of them are as passionate as he is. I was so excited that I took off my glasses for a while, put them on for a while, and waved them in my hand for a while. A pair of glasses inadvertently became his props. When he writes on the blackboard, chalk seems to be unable to catch up with his thoughts, and it is inevitable that he will break one by one when he stumbles on the blackboard; It seems that he doesn't want to waste too much time when he cleans the blackboard. The blackboard eraser is used with clothes. When it comes to excitement, the sweat on his forehead sparkles, just as he sweats after rushing or eating Chili peppers. He didn't have time to find a handkerchief, so he wiped it with his hand. The white chalk pen stained his face and turned it into a painted face. Even in winter, he can talk a lot, take off his coat and heat it up, and then take off his sweater. After class, I put on sweaters and coats one by one while chatting with my classmates who are still wanting more. Especially about his beloved Lu Xun, sometimes you can see the tears in his eyes. At this moment, in the classroom of hundreds of people, except for the lecture of Lao Qian, it is so quiet that only breathing can be heard. "
It is Qian Liqun who is nicknamed "Old Money" by the students.
"Do I look like this Maitreya?" Bald as a crane, Qian Liqun smiled, carefully raised his family's "Four Gods" posture and posed for the camera.
Then, like an old urchin, let the photographer take a picture of him and the other three gods. "Well, on the left wall is Zhong Kui, and, and, close the big wardrobe hung by the master, and then-"
Then-his eyes were fixed on the main wall of the bookstore, which was a portrait of Lu Xun. "This is my baby god."
"God" stares into the distance, and has a long way to go; Qian Liqun stared at the "God" at hand.
At this moment, he also said on the phone: "Sorry, I personally don't accept interviews, so I have nothing to say to Lu Xun ..." His voice was hoarse and his voice was low, and he couldn't recognize a little Zhejiang accent.
For a long time, he murmured, "I am so full every day now ... I really can't spare the time."
"But didn't Mr. Lu Xun say that time is like water in a sponge, and there is always a squeeze?" The reporter followed closely.
There was a burst of hearty laughter on the other end of the phone. After the hilarious laughter, he gave the answer.
On the occasion of the 70th anniversary of Lu Xun's death, various media are trying to reevaluate Lu Xun. How could Qian Liqun, who once talked about Lu Xun in the lecture hall of Peking University on 17, and "no matter how many times he talked about it, he felt fresh every time and impulsively expected to see Lu Xun every time"?
Perhaps because of the overwhelming text load, he opened his heart to reporters in Fontainebleau's home, and his heart was opened, so he was not so "free" to speak.
Hehe, every time I commemorated Lu Xun's death, I seemed to be engaged in political activities. I think this year is the 70th anniversary of Lu Xun's death, and there will be another "excitement", so I don't want to join in the fun. I didn't expect this commemorative activity to be led by the government, spontaneous by the people and lively by the media, which interested me very much.
I once said that when a person is full of pride and ambition, he is out of touch with Lu Xun. When a person is confused about life, he is struggling to find ... a kind of spiritual support in life, which is the best moment for him to read Lu Xun and have a spiritual collision with him. This is a stream of consciousness and his affinity with Lu Xun. I describe this fate, this flow, as "meeting".
My first encounter with Lu Xun began with his essay La Ye.
I was in the fifth grade at that time. Once, I happened to find an anthology in my brother's drawer, and the cover was impressively printed: Lu Xun.
Who is Lu Xun? I am ignorant. I opened the book and read a passage in "La Ye", "He is not all red, most of them are pale crimson, and some of them are on the crimson ground, with a few thick greens. Unique wormholes, inlaid with black lace, stare at people like bright eyes in mottled red, yellow and green. "
Oh, my heart suddenly tightened, and I was secretly a little scared. I feel my eyes staring at me, but I feel a strange beauty that I can't explain. It is the feeling of this moment that almost touched my heart and will become a part of my memory in the future. Even up to 1985, I had already started an independent course in Peking University to tell students about Lu Xun's works, and seldom talked about wax leaves.
I am an intellectual who grew up in the fifties and sixties. In my memory, that era was full of sufferings of nations, countries, families and individuals. It is this "bitter experience and memory" that has become the basis for me to observe and understand the history and literature of China in the 20th century and even the reality and future of China. In my memory of suffering, the most unbearable pages are all the horror records of inner vacillation, submission and betrayal, and the distortion, ugliness and abnormality of human nature under external pressure. I can't erase all this. It presses on my heart like a nightmare, like a "grave". The snake "Regret" bit my soul all the time, and it was only a little relieved when I poured it out to my pen.
Therefore, my meeting with Lu Xun and my study of China's contemporary literature also included my dream, my debt repayment and a process of spiritual redemption.
What is the dream? Although I was born in the war-torn 1939, I am lucky to have a golden childhood, an age of free dreaming, with the expectation of the unknown world and curiosity of constantly discovering the dream of the new continent.
I want to be a teacher. Like drama, like poetry, will be realized in the future: teaching in Peking University, in addition to studying Zhou brothers' articles, but also studying Ai Qing and Cao Yu. When I was young, my biggest dream was to go back to Peking University and talk to young people about my views on Lu Xun.
At Peking University, my proudest thing was that 17 talked about Lu Xun, and I became a bridge between Lu Xun and the youth.
Speaking of "paying debts". I have to talk about two things that I regret so far: the first one is that I burned the only souvenir my father left me during the Cultural Revolution: his photo; The second thing is that after I was branded as a "reactionary academic authority", I couldn't stand the impact of criticism again and again and told a lie against my will, which made my friend implicated and hurt. What saddens me most is that in the early days of the Cultural Revolution, one of my students spoke a few words for me in order to defend me, and was beaten into a reactionary and lost his young life.
For more than 40 years, the past has weighed heavily on my mind like a stone, sometimes making me breathless. I have never said anything to outsiders. This is the scarlet letter I should bear.
Mr. Lu Xun said: "We should speak our own words in a modern way;" Speak your thoughts and feelings directly in plain language. ..... and tell your truth. "
But he knows how difficult it is to tell the truth, so he advocates "telling the truth". But what is more real? I have established my three principles: first, I must realize that lying is wrong; Second, telling lies must be forced; Third, never hurt others.
Mr. Lu Xun said that he only writes for three kinds of people: one is a "lonely and galloping soldier", the other is a "young man who is still dreaming" and the third is his enemy. Looking back, enemy, I didn't; But writing for young people, the shadow of the dead girl always haunts my eyes, which makes me eager to get close to young people, but at the same time I am afraid to get close to young people.
I study in the journalism department of Renmin University, and my greatest hobby in my life is reading. Because I love it so much, I became a typical "white expert" at school. For this reason, my application for joining the party was ignored, and I was later accused of "attempting to join the party and being alerted by our party to its sinister intentions." I applied for ambition to continue my graduate studies, but the school refused. The reason seems ridiculous now, but it didn't matter then: in the voice of "the more you read, the more stupid you are", do you want to continue reading? Let's reform our thinking before it's too late.
In this way, I was assigned to any middle school as a teacher in Guizhou. I stayed there in the lush years of 18, and I was over 30 years old ... There, because my father was a senior official of the Kuomintang, 1949 I took my two brothers to Taiwan Province Province and was beaten into a black boy with a reactionary bureaucratic background. My house was copied in a mess and my father's photo was copied there. There, as soon as I took off my hat of "taking the reactionary route", my father's photo was sent back, but I was afraid to stay. At night, I burned it. There, when I "confessed" and talked nonsense against my will, my beloved students and my caring students also alienated me. They even returned a dress I gave them in the dark, poked several big holes in it and said, Qian Liqun, we will poke your mask. ...
Mask? Mr. Lu Xun said that people should wear masks during the day, and only in the dead of night can they take off their masks and face themselves naked.
At that time, I chatted with him at night and wrote my first article, Lu Xun and I. In the future, every article I study Lu Xun will have a long postscript, which is my epitaph.
1978 like old boys, I got a postgraduate degree in Chinese Department of Peking University and studied under Mr. Yao Yao. And "debt repayment" is far from over. I remember that shortly after the concept of "20th Century China Literature" was put forward, Mr. Yao Yao asked me to have a serious talk with him amid cheers. He asked me: Why not talk about the disintegration of colonies in the 20th century and the rise of the Third World? Why not talk about the influence of Marxism, the proletarian movement, Russia and Russian literature? This made me fall into deep reflection. ...
The news of my father's death came from Taiwan Province Province, my brother died in the United States, and my mother was finally buried in Nanjing. Live together or die on both sides. A large family, more than a dozen people, there is no family photo!
The fate of a country, a nation and an individual has mixed feelings. I'm asking, how did all this happen? On the unnamed lake, I often wander alone and meditate; Late at night, I sat at my desk and asked Mr. Lu Xun for answers naked.
I painfully found that our generation made so many mistakes that we gave up independent thinking and fell into blind worship for a long time.
Constantly questioning what I advocate directly affects my way of thinking in the future, which will inevitably lead to restlessness and less likability in my bones.
1999 is my animal year. That year, when I was telling the students of Peking University about Lu Xun, the first lesson I chose was La Ye, which was untouchable in my memory.
Wax Ye Yuan refers to the death of life; At the beginning of my life, I met La Ye and met Lu Xun for the first time. Near the end of my life, I opened the wax leaf again and stood in front of Lu Xun.