Some time ago, Miao Kexin's child suicide incident caused many people to think deeply. "Children's suicide", like the Oracle of our time, reveals the pain and illness of too many people, too many families and our whole population.
Children are the purest souls, they are natural creatures. All the gloom and heaviness carried by children are mirrors of adults, reflecting the stupidity and sin of adults.
Why do innocent children commit suicide? This is a trial and questioning of all adults in society, and it is the biggest tragedy of a group. If we don't reflect and change, what will happen in the future can only be said to be a natural result. Because people who don't pursue reason and justice are not qualified to ask others to treat themselves with reason and justice.
So, what is the essential problem behind this phenomenon? Where should we reflect and how should we change?
Educational Alienation and Children's Tragedy
The fundamental purpose of education is to cultivate humanistic spirit and rationality, and children should be taught critical thinking leading to rationality and truth, rather than criticizing for the sake of criticism. It should be something, not people, not children, but the argumentation method of this composition. These alienated teachers may not think that education has other meanings besides score screening and class income, which is the alienation of education.
How to embody alienation? Everything has become a relationship that can be reduced to numbers, and everything has become numbers. What is education? It is nothing more than the enrollment rate; What does the enrollment rate mean? Nothing more than treatment; The treatment is money and classes.
In the eyes of alienated teachers, education has become scores, performance appraisal, performance appraisal has become personal income, and everything has become a cold digital relationship. This is the result of instrumentalization and alienation, and people are no longer people-oriented.
Why do so many children commit suicide now because of cheating in exams and poor grades? In fact, it's all the same question: you are not a "complete person" except for your exam results. From parents to teachers, everyone attaches too much importance to grades. When they are with children, they can't live without their studies. But have they ever paid attention to children as a whole person, their thoughts, their feelings and their hearts? This is the most typical alienation.
As the product of education in the era of large-scale industrial production, schools, like factory assembly lines, produce students in batches, so they have to take scores as the center and can only measure students by scores. Children become a data, a tool. In the family, parents do not regard ta as a complete person and a meaningful subject. The hard work of parents has created excellent living conditions for their children. What can a child who doesn't worry about food and clothing be melodramatic? Can't see the child's inner world, which is actually the cold feedback of materialism. Just thinking about how to cultivate ta? How to carve ta? What kind of score do you want? How to get ahead? Educating children in this utilitarian way will further alienate them and make them feel worthless as a complete person.
Just like the villain in the video game, his only task is to go through customs. If you can't get through the customs, the game is over, it's as simple and rude as that. The villain in "Electronic Games" never thought that he could have another way out besides customs clearance. Then children in reality, if ta has no inner world and no history, just like villains in video games, ta has no value except customs clearance, and it is likely to go to extremes if it encounters a little setback.
If life in adults' eyes is just for customs clearance, just for finding a job and buying a house, and finding a job and buying a house is for children to find a job and buy a house, this is the instrumental outlook on life, how to convince children who are addicted to games or TV. In the eyes of children, this kind of life is the same as the game task. People are as simple, as instrumental and as alienated as the villains in the game.
Children must feel a world "bigger than themselves", instead of the villain in the game, the task of customs clearance is always in front of them. We want our children to know that apart from grades and work, we are complete individuals, we are flesh and blood people, and we want to have a "strong and complete" inner world. Achievements, criticisms and unfair treatment are just a gust of wind. I can't deny my complete existence, but I must have a strong self. Then, how can we let children know that apart from grades and work, we are flesh and blood people.
How do children resist educational alienation?
Children must feel the bigger world. Reading, sports and art are all good ways to restore a person's complete existence.
1. Reading/learning
Reading has countless lives and the history of the whole human mind. The 48 lessons in the little black book are a complete history of human spiritual exploration. All the major issues in the whole history of human thought can be touched by only 48 small books. Everyone is me, and I am everyone. I'm not special or lonely. If I have a rich spiritual history in my heart, I will not be crushed in the face of the difficult moment of life, because I will know that it is only a small moment, and it is external to me.
Unfair teacher criticism will become a thing of the past because I am right and he is wrong. He can't define me and control my destiny. It doesn't matter if I didn't do well in an exam, and another time, because I'm not a villain in the game, I will die if I don't pass the exam. Examinations are only a small part of my life. If you are interested in mathematics itself, you will think thoroughly, and you will naturally do well in the mathematics exam; If you are interested in the language itself, you will read a lot, and you can't fail the Chinese exam.
So how should * * be pronounced? * * Reading is an interactive process and an active construction process. When reading, readers must take the initiative to think, contact, and constantly call their existing knowledge to express themselves.
To resist alienation and form a complete and reasonable view of things, we need to take the initiative to find problems. When reading, starting from finding problems, find some important and recurring features in the text, then sew them together to form a rule, put forward a hypothesis, and then seek verification by returning to the text and collecting materials.
In the process of reading, children's greatest pleasure is to find themselves stronger and more capable, and to find themselves more aware of the world, so that the scope of activities is expanded and more efficiency can be obtained. This feeling is more interesting and lasting than all entertainment and games.
Take parent-child reading of Oxford tree as an example.
Oxford tree 1 and 2, a very limited number of 50 words (including a, an and the), can tell a complete story of logical connection. Children can understand English words through pictures without having to explain them in Chinese. Moreover, ta can describe her life with very limited vocabulary, tell a short story of her own observation and thinking about life, and express herself logically and coherently. The essence of graded reading or Chinese education lies in the ability to analyze and think, and the ability to observe, tell and express one's own logic in order. This is the core competence, and it is also what our parents and children should do when reading.
MzSavage and Eva*** read the Oxford tree.
When reading, parents and children should read with their children in an interactive way: there are questions and answers, adults should guide them by asking questions, children should always actively observe and think, and finally, children should be guided to output and express themselves actively by building toys. The younger the child, the more interactive reading. The child asks you to answer, you ask the child to answer. With the pictures and words in the book, we began to read, think, talk and play together.
Children under three years old are not very sensitive to symbols. The purpose of reading is to teach ta how to observe the picture and find some details on the picture, and adults guide ta to establish contact with other details. In this process, children will gradually learn how to observe the facts in a logical way. Everything has a "why", and then describe the details, form a connection and form a coherent thinking. In addition to the details on the screen, older children will begin to have the ability to abstract, pay attention to text symbols, and ta will want to know what this text is and what it has to do with the pronunciation that ta already knows.
After reading the ninth preface, children will take the initiative to say what is interesting, important and why. The observation of this picture is just a point. Adults ask children: What do you see? Why is this happening? Through more logical relations, such as causality, spatial relations and so on. What is not said in the article is to let children think positively and contact their real experiences. Instead of telling them word by word, we should give ta a chance to think, let ta analyze and understand herself. What does this story want to express? What are the words of observation, dialogue and recurrence on every page just now? Such a process of reconstruction and reorganization, through communication, children can also have an understanding and reflection on their own lives through their own expressions. In the * * * reading video, graded reading is to better present the whole closed loop of thinking. Even if the low-level video lasts for 5 minutes, there is a complete closed loop of points, lines and planes.
In this process, children will gradually associate phonetic symbols with visual symbols, learn to pay attention to details, learn to observe in sequence, learn to understand while reading, understand those unclear connections, and let children discover and express themselves; Repeatedly from the text to the whole story, and then from the story to understand the meaning of the details, that is, analytical active reading and thinking, this ability is very critical, but also the bottom, can benefit children for life.
Parent-child reading can start before 1 year-old, and the golden period of reading habit formation is before 6 years old. We need intensive companionship and interaction through reading, which is also a particularly good way to strengthen parent-child relationship. 2-3 times a day, 20-30 minutes each time. According to the child's interest, help t a form a habit and plant a seed for ta. The better reading and active thinking are cultivated, the sooner adults can let go, because the better children's concentration, the stronger their autonomous learning ability.
Give a counterexample: replace "reading" with "listening"
The essence of reading/learning by listening is entertainment. For children, positive thinking is nothing. It tells everything in great detail, without brains, knowledge and details. It's no different from watching TV and listening to cross talk. Its essence is entertainment.
Reading is a process of active exploration, and the information input efficiency of reading is 100 times that of listening. The bandwidth of visual information input by human brain is 100 MB/s, while the bandwidth of auditory information input is only100 KB/s. People who are used to reading can greatly improve their abilities of visual recognition, concentration, short-term memory and long-term memory, and their brain structure is different from those who do not read. If a child has never been used to reading, seeing static words, poor attention and poor reading ability means poor analytical ability.
Analytical listening is a means to test the level of knowledge and can stimulate thinking. The premise of this effect is based on the existing active analytical ability and knowledge reserve, otherwise you may not understand other people's ready-made theories, let alone think for yourself the next time you encounter new problems and phenomena. Classes, meetings and daily communication are all things that need to be listened to in order to capture information efficiently and accurately. The fastest and most effective way to improve this ability is to start training from reading. In order to study effectively in class, you must also have a lot of investment and thinking after class.
Learning by listening to stories and telling stories is just less eye-catching entertainment than watching TV. It is a kind of "false learning". Listening for fun, even taking up reading time, is the consumption of attention, and you can't learn anything real. Gamification course, with too many games and entertainment to dilute the knowledge, the content has not been learned much, but the attention has been diluted and dissipated, and you are too lazy to think without reading books, which is not worth the candle.
Trying to teach children knowledge through listening and entertainment assumes that knowledge is static and a very bitter pill, which must be covered with a layer of sugar. It is a misunderstanding to completely entertain knowledge and learning. What really matters about knowledge is the process of its movement and how to reach this conclusion, not just remembering it.
Listening and reading are not a skill, just like eating shaved ice and skating are not the same thing.
take exercise
As a complete life, we should be aware of life itself. The first important thing is reading, and the second important thing is to feel our own bodies.
If you want to run and jump, you have to climb mountains and go hiking in nature. The breath between heaven and earth is like birds and flowers in mountains and rivers. What keeps me alive is not school, not grades, not parents, not teachers, but I am a complete life. I am my own master and master.
Sitting in front of computers and desks for a long time, people will unconsciously turn themselves into an auxiliary tool similar to computers and meat computers, forgetting that they are a life that exists for their own purposes.
It is best to learn some sports from an early age, such as swimming, ball games, long-distance running and so on. You can practice anything you like anytime, anywhere. When you sweat, you will feel that I am still alive and breathing, and nothing else matters. Exercise has a great influence on mental health and cognitive development, and it is a physical and mental connection. To make the brain think that I still have a body, I am a strong and complete existence, and my heart is beating no matter what the teacher says about me. I live alone, which is the most remarkable thing. I'm not doing anything. I am a beautiful and unique life.
3. Art
Another way to restore children's integrity and fight against alienation is art, painting, music, drama and so on. Art is a very important liberating experience.
Many parents will let their children go to various classes to learn art, following a very correct intuition: let the children cultivate themselves. However, not knowing what "cultivation" refers to will compromise the final effect of art education. For example, learning piano is equivalent to taking an exam. In fact, grading is just a by-product, just like eating a roast chicken. If this chicken is delicious, you will definitely eat bones, but no one says that the ultimate goal of eating this chicken is to get a skeleton. If we pursue the skeleton from the beginning and only the final result, we will lose the greatest value of music.
Learning music is a good opportunity to take children to appreciate the works of various masters, which is an artistic experience that little people can't get in video games for the purpose of getting through. Reading poetry, too, is a very intuitive art. After listening to Bach, Mozart, Whitman and william blake, you will feel that you are one with heaven and earth. The universe is so grand and wonderful that I have the soul and reason to perceive the beauty of the universe and mind, so that my little existence is as eternal, infinite and beautiful as the universe. At this time, we can experience integrity and transcend alienation, which is worth pursuing.
Children can also create and express through painting. In the process of expression, ta will gain a sharper resolution and the ability to feel beauty, and ta can better understand nature and its own beauty. It is a very valuable experience to form a closed loop in creation and let the experience and creation get through, which can let children constantly perceive "complete self".
How do parents fight against educational alienation?
The greatest sense of value that parents can give their children is that ta is respected and fully respected as a person, including respecting ta's judgment and ta's choice. There is a dynamic relationship between parents and children. What is really needed is not that parents are always calm and gentle, and don't hurt ta. That kind of requirement is also the instrumentalization and alienation of vulgar psychology to parents. What really matters is the truth, that is, we should rationally measure every little thing with our children, and try our best to let ta choose independently, giving respect and freedom.
If children are used to independent judgment and bear the results independently when they are very young, then ta has learned rational decision-making very early, and the most important thing is that ta feels self and autonomy. Parents should not always make choices for their children. They can explain what the consequences will be and help ta weigh, but they should also give ta freedom to try. If ta chooses this method, it will bear the consequences.
Don't always think about how to carve a child into a god, instill something you think is right in ta. No one is absolutely right, and it is impossible for parents to turn their children into what they want. It is the child's nature to stimulate ta's self-improvement and protect ta's will to develop itself. However, this nature is easily erased by parents. They always feel that what is important in their own eyes is the most important, and what is important in the eyes of children is not important. They always use their own judgment to ask their children to do what they think is important.
We should restore the spiritual world suppressed by alienation and our extinguished mind. No one can define me, no one can judge me. I do this because I think it is the right thing, and I want to do it best, so I must be strong, knowledgeable and judgmental in order to become a self-reliant and fully functional individual.
How do families fight against educational alienation?
The living habits of the whole family are the biggest circle for children to grow up. We can understand it as an ecological circle, which is the climate and soil where children grow up. What fruit is produced in this family climate environment is determined by climate and soil.
If it is because children are not serious in their studies and are always fidgeting or unwilling to do problems when reading, then parents should examine the climate and soil of the family and reflect on whether the children have rhythm and rhythm since childhood, and whether reading every day has become a focused part of the rhythm of daily life.
Parents should investigate the family ecological environment, including the general climate and living habits on the soil: how much TV do they watch? How many outdoor activities are there? Can I go to bed early and get up early? Even how much junk food did you eat? Is the intake of sugar and fat too high? Can too little fiber lead to malnutrition? Malnourished children will have many behavioral problems, such as difficulty in concentration, poor self-control and more aggression. And a regular and healthy life, a certain amount of outdoor exercise every day, independent reading, and a long-term habit of concentration, young trees growing in this rhythm of life and climate soil will hope to grow and develop themselves.
At present, a specific behavior that causes family conflicts is the fruit of this small tree in the big ecosystem. If the fruit is not big enough, small and sour, it is useless to yell hysterically at ta. What is needed is systematic change: a more regular and healthy life, a better climate, a more independent, more dedicated, more self-disciplined and more conscious tree. This kind of fruit will naturally be better.
If the whole family doesn't make specific changes, they will nag about this fruit, tyrannical punishment, self-oppression, self-blame, self-denial and so on every day. And dealing with children with various result-oriented psychological skills is actually a tool and alienation for parents. It was wrong about people from the beginning. It treats people as objects and invents various skills to deal with children and themselves, which is ultimately ineffective. We should focus on the changes of the whole system.
Adults' values and behaviors are children's ecosystem, and children are like a drop of dew. Ta reflects the surrounding environment and the values of adults. If adults themselves feel that reading is too difficult and painful, and always want to take shortcuts to listen to some magical relaxation therapies that can avoid pain points and difficulties, instead of taking children to read and think together, then when it comes to real learning, it is unfair and against the laws of nature to yell that the fruit is too small and sour, and it is not respectful for children not to study and not to concentrate.
The child's growth environment is like this, and it is difficult for ta to grow into a different fruit. Understanding the accuracy of topics, articles and questions, whether Chinese or mathematics, comes from concentration of attention, working memory based on visual input and long-term knowledge accumulation. The seeds are golden before the age of six or seven. Adults should spend three years of their spare time reading a book 1~2 hours with their children every day, making this the happiest parent-child time. As long as we are serious, it is fun. As long as we do it seriously, we can find fun.