The epidemic has completely changed our way of life. Children may be the most affected, and their world has been completely changed:
Home isolation and online learning have become the main theme of children's lives. As the time between parents and children becomes longer, the state between parents and children often really corresponds to the old saying:
"Don't talk about learning, my mother is kind and filial; When writing homework, chickens fly and dogs jump! "
Is your family like this? In the past two years under the epidemic, I finally realized the famous saying of Professor Ding Yanqing, a network celebrity of Peking University: "I taught my children to change their lives, but she taught me to accept my fate!"
Under the epidemic, the baby went home and opened a "new model" of home isolation and online class learning!
At first, the baby kept pace with the school-punching in on time and attending classes online on time; I don't have much concern, thinking that as long as I get through this period, I can return to normal order.
But the plan couldn't keep up with the change, and I ignored the negative effects of social isolation and being unable to go out.
This unprecedented emotional experience is the worst thing for a baby who is eager for peer friendship!
Unfortunately, I didn't understand it at the time. The pressure of entering a higher school makes me very dissatisfied with my baby's chaotic schedule and lax study!
I started the high-pressure mode to supervise the baby's daily study, which was followed by a tug-of-war between parents and children:
As long as the baby gets the mobile phone, she will definitely play games online; Once the teacher's online class is finished, the homework is always casual!
It was then that I really realized the taste of "phobia". Her mother's blood pressure was rising when I saw that the baby was not paying attention to her studies and just wanted to play games.
But when Eva looked at my expression pack, she squinted and gave me a thumbs up: I love this. What happened?
I have no choice but to take man-to-man tactics. As long as the baby holds the mobile phone, I will definitely stay by; As soon as the online class was over, I confiscated my mobile phone and typed my homework with a printer. ...
What is the result of this? Eva and I are the only ones fighting for each other!
At that time, the baby was out of control and did not listen to anything. At home, she fights with me: strike without mobile phone, do not do homework without playing games, and lose her temper by controlling online time.
I am under a lot of pressure for this, thinking about what to do if this continues. Beating and cursing will only aggravate the contradiction between parents and children, and anxiety will only lead to the escalation of contradictions. Unable to understand the baby's emotional changes is the root of the problem!
In this torment, I received a notice from the school: let parents and children watch movies together on weekends! I asked Eva's advice and said, "How about watching a movie together, no online classes, no study?"
Eva heard that she could have a rest at the weekend and readily agreed. In this way, the film "Beautiful Life" that I will never forget, like a timely rain, came into the vision of Eva and me who were trapped at home:
A Beautiful Life is a war drama, which tells the story of a father named Guido and his son Joshua being taken to a concentration camp by the Nazis.
In order to protect his son's new soul, Guido lied about playing games with Joshua in the concentration camp and helped Joshua resist the cruelty of life with "love lies"
What impressed me deeply was that Guido walked like a clown when he faced the desperate situation and walked to the execution ground. He passed the iron suitcase where his son was hiding step by step, which made Joshua think it was a little secret told by his father: "I was discovered." You must hide before we win the tank. "
No matter how bad the living environment in the concentration camp is, Guido always treats every day optimistically and spreads happiness to everyone around him.
Just because people always need spiritual support to support themselves and live in suffering. ...
After watching A Beautiful Life, Eva and I both fell into a rare state of meditation, and they were both quiet.
Yes, compared with the living environment of Guido and Joshua, what is the isolation of Eva and me at home at present? What's more, this special period is about to pass?
Because everyone will experience the hardships of life, it teaches you how to find happiness in suffering, and makes people understand: no matter what, as long as we are not afraid, strong and happy, and look forward to the end-life will be beautiful, so we will always win!
I am like a seedling in the rain after a long drought, and I know that everything I am experiencing will eventually end!
As long as you, like Guido, the father in the movie, face the life of home isolation with an optimistic and positive attitude, then there is no emotion that can't be eliminated and no difficulty that can't be overcome!
The days when I was separated from my baby at home changed because of the beautiful life. I began to interpret my baby's emotional changes in a different way!
Eva actually lived a very depressed life, and her beautiful youth was like being "stolen" by the epidemic for a period of freedom!
At this time, what the baby needs most is not to learn, but to learn how to self-regulate emotions, be mentally prepared, and "fight the epidemic at home" in another way!
I think of a book I once read, positive discipline, which tells us:
I apologized to Eva, admitted that I was too anxious and unfriendly to Eva, and invited Eva to discuss with me how to deal with my emotions.
After Eva communicated with me, she asked me to write down a trilogy to deal with emotions, saying that as long as I do this in the future, I won't be disturbed by "emotional villains" again:
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When you feel emotionally unstable, you might as well leave the scene for the first time, stay alone in a room and ask yourself three questions:
"What makes me emotional?"
"How do I feel?"
"What would I do?"
Clear the answers to these three questions, and you can always control yourself and not let your emotions get out of control!
Eva gave me the answer that I was bored at home for a long time, and I felt bored and wanted to play games to relax.
Express your emotions in a way that you can accept, such as "I feel like …" to express your feelings about emotions;
You can also sort out the answers to the three questions you think, write down your true feelings, question the source of the trigger emotions, and let yourself calm down further.
The answers written by the baby help the baby to sort out the sources of all emotions. I didn't take online classes at home during school: "I feel that the learning effect is not good as soon as I get online!" The adults' incomprehension makes the baby feel worse.
Take the initiative to evacuate yourself, leave the scene, and find ways to relax yourself, such as reading novels, cooking and brushing popular dramas at the moment of the epidemic. ...
Immerse yourself in your favorite things or hobbies, stay away from the "cold in your heart" and let go slowly.
Eva and I have an appointment to play games at a fixed time every day, and then study hard! Let me see, I agreed!
This is the story that Eva and I were isolated at home by the epidemic. It seems that precious time was stolen by the black swan "COVID-19". After changing our thinking, Eva and I firmly believe that we will overcome it and believe more:
The night will pass and life will go on-
May the morning sunshine shine into your heart and mine;
May the long fireworks on the earth nourish your kindness and mine;
May we meet again after the epidemic and embrace the fragrance of spring!