This issue is the only one I am crying about, because the debate has been reminding me of an unacceptable reality, that is, my parents will get old one day. I really don't know what I should do when that day comes and I have to face it.
In the four years since I left home for school as a freshman, one of the few things I persisted in was video chatting with my mother every night. She asks several questions every day:
Are you "hmm" today (I have a bad stomach since I was a child, because I like spicy food and often get angry, so "hmm" is sometimes bad)
Has the acne gone down (she thinks my forehead must be as flat as my chest to avoid acne)
Have you taken vitamins C and B (I am allergic, and the doctor suggested vitamin supplementation)?
Did boat-fruited Sterculia drink (I have pharyngitis)?
Did you eat fruit?
As long as my answer to even one of the above five items is negative, it's over. You have to say, "You won't worry if I'm not here." . . I don't care about my own business. . . "If they are all positive, then she will chat with me contentedly and let me see our dog or something.
When I am at home on holiday, I wake up every morning. There are honey lemonade, a peeled apple and a washed tomato on the table.
One summer vacation, it was almost eleven o'clock when my friends and I finished playing outside. I called her from the taxi and told her not to worry. As a result, when I got off the bus, I saw her at the gate of the community. It's too late. She can't sit still at home. Come out and wait for me. I haven't been home that late since.
And my dad, until my junior year, he would secretly cry when he met me at the station, because he was happy when I came back; And when I leave, he will still wipe his tears, because I will be away for a few months, and he can't bear it. He thought I didn't know all this, but I saw it all.
I am 22 years old, but in their eyes, I always seem to be the little girl with a ponytail and drinking AD calcium milk. I was spoiled by them, but they gave me the freedom to choose and grow. They have always been my armor, so I really don't know what I will do when my armor gets old.
There was nothing wrong with the school some time ago, so I took a leave of absence and stayed at home for more than a month. When I was about to return to Tianjin, my mother had rhinitis and cough. Rhinitis is seasonal. I coughed during pregnancy. At that time, she had a cold and cough and was afraid to take medicine, so she carried it hard, so she fell into the root cause and committed it every year. Unfortunately, this year, two diseases were committed together. I remember very clearly that May 29th was the worst day. My father and I bought almost all the medicines for treating rhinitis and cough, and we used several cough remedies recommended by others to get some relief. On the same day, the original ticket for returning to Tianjin on the 30th was changed to 6.2. I had to go back because of my thesis, but I was really worried and had to postpone it until the latest.
My cough got worse at night, and my mother didn't sleep well for two whole days and nights. Dare not fall asleep at night. I got up as soon as I heard her cough, but I couldn't help patting her back, bringing her a cushion to make her as comfortable as possible, putting on clothes, pouring her a cup of hot water, and then accompanying her. My mother is a person who is particularly afraid of going to the hospital. Because she is afraid of queuing and trouble, she always likes to take something with her. Those two days, I forced her to register, accompanied her to see western medicine and Chinese medicine, and urged her to take medicine, wash her nose and iron her feet. Finally, the symptoms eased, she felt better, and I felt better when I left.
So when I saw this argument, I thought, if my parents want to go to a nursing home, if they are in good health, then I think so. The old man and the old lady are very happy to play mahjong and chess together, so I go to see them every day. But what if they get sick? I believe that nursing homes can give them the most professional care with the best equipment, but when their parents are uncomfortable at night, can they always be there like me? The answer is absolutely impossible, and you can't ask others to do so. But I really can't bear to let them suffer from this disease alone. I wish I could take them to the doctor myself. I hope I can hear the doctor tell me their situation with my own eyes, so that I can settle down. I hope they can drink the water with the right temperature prepared by me at any time when they are thirsty. I hope I can be with them when they are uncomfortable, hold their hands, just like they held my hand when they were young, and say to them: It's okay, I. ..
Everyone ignores that when parents really want to go to a nursing home, they must be in good health. If you don't agree with them, they will even be unhappy and lose their temper. But have you ever thought that when they are sick, when they lie in single beds in nursing homes, they will regret it. At that time, it wasn't the professional equipment, the old friends, or the nurses that they wanted to stay with, but you.
When people are vulnerable, what they want most is not to be strong, but to be comforted and cared for. I hope that my comfort and concern will not be late, and that they will not feel lonely because of weakness, even if I can't bear it for a minute. So, don't send them to nursing homes. When they get old, it's your turn to be their armor.
In Hirokazu Koreeda's Deeper than the Sea, there is a line like this:
Be kind to people when they are around you.