The whole book introduces how to get familiar with strangers, how to spit lotus flowers when speaking, and how to make out with the other half. In the book, you can find instant cheats. Put Carnegie's theory into practice, break the mindset, let success be traced, and witness the magic of appreciation, smile, sincerity and respect together.
Next, I will extract 10 knowledge points that I think are most useful to me, and then apply them to the three dimensions of work, family and life.
Work:
I used to complain and blame my boss's behavior, leadership style, poor decision-making and unfair treatment in the department.
Change direction: think more from the perspective of the leader, don't criticize, blame or complain even if you don't approve, just be tolerant.
Family:
I used to complain that I always paid for it at home, and my husband often threw away his schoolbag when he came home, regardless of anything. I have to work, take care of my children after work and take care of this "giant baby". I'll be sick all day.
Change direction: stop complaining, do what you can, understand that it is hard for your husband to make money, and usually hang clothes and wash dishes. If he is willing to do some housework, praise him immediately. If he doesn't do it, forget it.
Personal:
I used to complain that I came from a poor family background and had no money or power. Why did God give me so much suffering and frustration?
Change direction: love yourself, accept all this calmly, put more time and energy into your own study, and then "because you are too busy studying, you have no time to be emotional."
Work:
I used to be jealous and selfish, and I didn't want others to be better than myself.
Change direction: I have entered the society for a long time and found that everyone has everyone's bright spots and places worth learning. "A threesome must have a teacher" is so right. In fact, others have become better, and you will never change your will. It's about being partners with others, working hard together and improving together.
Family:
Past me: I would complain and blame my husband for many shortcomings. My husband is a person with obvious advantages and disadvantages. I used to think that I had to point out his shortcomings and hoped that he would correct them, but it turned out to be counterproductive.
Change direction: admire him from the bottom of my heart. My husband likes studying very much, has a strong logical thinking, treats his friends sincerely and bluntly, loves me and my daughter very much, plays badminton very well and so on. In fact, you can find that he has many advantages without a magnifying glass.
Personal:
I used to be a person with low self-esteem. I often denied myself and felt that I was too bad.
Change direction: I admire myself. In fact, I also have many advantages, at least people around me like me. Learn to talk to yourself. You have done a good job. You really appreciate yourself and encourage yourself to refuel next time.
Work:
Past me: When I have the opportunity to show myself, I will also actively show myself. But maybe my ability is not very good, and my speaking skills are not good, so many times I just express my views, and others may not be willing to listen.
Change direction: If you want to share, understand other people's ideas and provide valuable advice to others. Listen to other people's ideas first, give them more stage and interact with others.
Family:
In the past, my husband was also a person who liked to show himself. When my husband is happy to express himself, in fact, many times I am not listening, thinking about how to refute him and how to better express my views. And my husband can feel that I don't really agree with him.
The direction of change: let him express himself as much as possible and listen to his views carefully.
Personal:
Change direction: learn from the big coffee, get to know each of them deeply, and then ask them for advice.
Work:
As HR, I have a warm heart, so I think I can basically do this. But it should be noted that if you promise to help others, you must do it.
Family:
Past me: In fact, in the whole big family, I am selfish, and I will not take the initiative to communicate with others, nor will I inquire about others. Maybe I want to focus on the people closest to me.
Change direction: take the initiative to understand the current situation of others, and if you need help, do your best to help and help.
Personal:
Past me: I am not very active in the club, and I will not take the initiative to help others, because I think it is a waste of my time. But I gradually found that "giving someone a rose has a lingering fragrance in my hand", but after helping others, I will gain more.
Change direction: If you see someone who needs help online or offline, offer help and support. I can also gain a lot.
The power of a smile is so powerful that it comes from the heart. When a person keeps smiling, they are actually closer to each other. There is a saying that "girls who love to laugh are not bad luck." "
Keep your mouth slightly raised, and give back everything with a smile.
Work:
I used to be a listener at work, but I didn't think about it, and I couldn't give others a good feedback after listening. I attribute it to my lack of resume and experience, and I'm too lazy to think about it. Especially in the interview, I often find myself talking too much.
Direction of change: listen carefully to other people's ideas, add your own thinking and give appropriate feedback to others. When interviewing, listen to other people's questions and opinions before answering. Don't worry, don't be smart.
Family:
Past me: I summed up a lot of arguments with my husband because I didn't listen to him well. Because I have reservations about some of his views and behaviors. When I disagree, I will say it. He is just a man with strong self-esteem, so he will be sad.
The direction of change: listen to him carefully, nod your head to express your approval and appreciation, and listen if you disagree.
Personal:
I used to feel mediocre, and sometimes I didn't know what I wanted.
Change direction: Leave yourself alone with yourself, and listen to your inner voice through meditation, yoga and A4 paper thinking.
Work:
I used to complain and blame others for doing things so unreliable, and sometimes I said, why did that person do it?
Change direction: stop complaining, have feelings, respect other people's work styles, and disagreement does not mean complaining.
Family:
In the past, I didn't agree with my husband and even looked down on him.
Change direction: respect his choice enough.
I focus on this chapter myself, because I think it has a great influence on me. In fact, in the past two years, I have often had some contradictions with my husband. In fact, we all know that we love each other and our families deeply, but because there are many minefields we have just stepped on, it is easy to break out of war.
Minefield 1: Don't talk endlessly. I just keep saying remember to put your slippers away, don't drink coke, don't stay up late and so on. I'm a little annoyed when I talk about myself, but I find that he hasn't changed, so I have a lot of complaints about him. Everyone is unhappy if this stalemate continues.
Minefield 2: Don't try to transform your partner. I stepped on it. It was also in the past that my husband often criticized others in front of me. It really disgusted me to dig up other people's shortcomings all day. In fact, I really tried many ways to change him at that time, but in the end all the changes failed, leading to one war after another.
Minefield 3: Don't criticize. That's right. I also like to criticize my husband and say that he is wrong. He once told me that he thought there was nothing in my mouth and told me to find another satisfactory one quickly.
Minefield 4: always pay attention to trivial and subtle places. I am a very, very careless person myself and forget everything. Treating her husband is even more heartless. So I often make many mistakes. For example, the window is not closed, the key is forgotten and so on.
Minefield 5: no manners. At one time, I felt that my husband was the closest person to me, and I didn't need to be polite to him, but I realized more and more that "customer is the most important thing".
Through analysis, I finally know why my intimate relationship is not managed well, even the most basic problems are not handled well, and even the most important respect for each other is not done well. What about intimacy? So from now on, it's time! Manage this intimate relationship with your heart.