You are the only scenery in my eyes.
You stand on the bridge and watch the scenery.
The landscape observer is watching you upstairs.
The bright moon decorated your window,
You decorated other people's dreams.
-Bian Zhilin
In ancient times, the pursuit of "chasing is retreating, and the road is long and Xiu Yuan is in the middle of the water" is not as good as love, but now there is a lonely and sentimental acacia taken out of context. From ancient times to the present, the view of insatiable lover is the same. Everyone wants more than she can get. When she is hurt and confused, every relationship doesn't mean that she will be rewarded if she pays. You love her, but she has someone else in her heart. ...
The last talented woman in the Republic of China
Coincidentally, in this book, many stories mentioned "Zhang Sisi". Their stories are beautiful and sad, and there is a faint taste of books that people can't stop. The elder sister is graceful, the second sister is Duan Shu, the third sister is depressed, and the fourth sister is the most special, loving freedom and independence, and a little headstrong. Each of them was a top-notch talented woman in the Republic of China, and one of them was known as "the last talented woman in the Republic of China", and she was Zhang Chonghe, the fourth sister of Zhangjiasi Lane.
In fact, Zhang Chonghe is not only famous for her literature, but also for her Kunqu opera. The fate of worshipping Kunqu Opera should start from her life experience. Chonghe was born in Shanghai. He was adopted as a Buddhist by his aunt and uncle when he was eight months old. He lived in Hefei until his grandmother died at the age of sixteen.
Chonghe's grandmother was widowed a long time ago. She is Li Hongzhang's niece, knowledgeable, deeply convinced of Buddhism and kind-hearted. Chonghe was spoiled by his grandmother since childhood. Besides setting an example, when she was six years old, her grandmother invited a famous teacher to teach her. She benefited most from the traditional classics of the archaeologist Professor Zhu, which laid a solid foundation for her classical literature.
Since I was a child, I have studied and written in the old house where the Zhang family has a "deep courtyard". The downstairs of the inaccessible library, the narrow space between the furniture and ancient books in the library building are all treasures that she "studied" alone.
Ten years of private school life, eight to five, only half a day off every ten days, except for major festivals, it is annoying to think about it. However, compared with other children, it is natural for reading. When other children were sleepy and took a nap, she tirelessly read The Analects of Confucius, Mencius, The Doctrine of the Mean, Hanshu and Historical Records in a quiet environment.
When Chonghe was sixteen, her great-aunt who loved her passed away. Chonghe returned to her father's home in Suzhou and studied in Le Yi Girls' Middle School founded by her father. Compared with her three sisters living in Suzhou, she seems a little closed and old-fashioned, but it is difficult to hide her knowledge and poetic talent. My father invited the Kunqu teacher to teach her operas such as Peach Blossom Fan and Peony Pavilion that she had read at her grandmother's house in Hefei. Now, as soon as she heard the song, she became attached to fate. The four sisters who are obsessed with Kunqu Opera also set up the Man Ting Qushe, and Zhang Chonghe loves Kunqu Opera even more.
However, Chonghe did not take Kunqu as a springboard for literature, and he always loved Kunqu purely. When he was young, he studied classics in a private school and fell in love with Kunqu opera after returning to Suzhou, all of which were wonderful overtures and foreshadowing. Her life eventually rose to the pursuit of the most elegant and exquisite classical culture in China.
Who won't be tempted by such a beautiful, intellectual and free-spirited woman? At the age of 18, the bud was in full bloom. Inadvertently, she recited hundreds of poems and became a beautiful jade and a lady. At this time, she made a decision: take an examination of Peking University. Soon, he received a letter from his third sister, Zhang Zhaohe, informing her of her marriage with Shen Congwen. So he came to Beiping one year in advance to attend the wedding of Shen Congwen and Zhang Zhaohe.
The first encounter between a poet and a lady
When it comes to meeting, there must be references after all. Otherwise, how could they meet and know each other in the world? The introducer was none other than Shen Congwen, the third brother-in-law of Chonghe.
At that time, Bian was still studying in the English Department of Peking University, and he met Xu Zhimo, a poet he had admired for a long time. Xu Zhimo also attached great importance to Bian's talent, listed him as a comrade in the field of poetry, and enthusiastically taught and guided him. Because Xu Zhimo and Bian quickly became familiar with the Beijing literati, Shen Congwen also met during this period.
In the early 1930s, Xu Zhimo introduced Shen Congwen to teach at National Shandong University. Bian wants to publish her first book of poetry, Sanqiu Grass, in Beiping. Bian, originally a student, had no savings, so he thought of Shen Congwen. So he eagerly ran to Qingdao to find Shen Congwen.
At this time, Shen Congwen is preparing for marriage, and he is not well off. It makes sense to shirk, but people in that era were full of chivalry. Shen Congwen is a man who regards art as his life. Naturally, there is no reason to stand by and give generously, although there are already eight pawn tickets lying in Shen Congwen's drawer. Therefore, Bian became a frequent visitor to Shen Congwen's residence.
1933 On September 9th, Shen Congwen, who returned to Beiping from Shandong, and his long-cherished Zhang Zhaohe held a solemn and lively wedding in the waterside pavilion of Beiping Central Park. Bian was caught off guard by the arrival of her little aunt. Their first meeting happened suddenly under such a specific background.
Throughout the dynasties, the story of a down-and-out scholar falling in love with a noble lady is always on. The West Chamber is like this, so is the Peony Pavilion, and so is Bian He.
Yes, Bian, a 23-year-old poet, fell in love with a good family. However, Chonghe at this time is not in the mood to fall in love. She is preparing for the entrance examination in Peking University. At that time, the entrance examination for Peking University had to take Chinese, history, geography, mathematics and English. Like Qian Zhongshu and others, Zhang Chonghe got zero in mathematics, but got full marks in Chinese, which is also a minor subject. Zhang Chonghe's composition My Middle School Life was greatly appreciated by the marking teacher because of its literary talent. Originally, there was a subject in Peking University that could not be admitted with a zero score, but the jury was too eager to achieve success and had to make an exception and admit her.
That year, in addition to filling in, the Chinese Department of Peking University only admitted two girls.
If the first meeting is amazing, then the second meeting is impossible. 1933 one day in early autumn, Zhang Chonghe, who had just become a freshman in the Chinese Department of Peking University, sat excitedly under the locust tree in Shen Congwen's eldest son camp, happily telling the story of the day.
Bian, who had nothing to do at Peking University, also visited the lively Daziying on 28th. It's hard to believe that I didn't meet these two people in Peking University, but it's true that it's not easy to meet one on such a big campus, let alone two people from different departments.
At that time, Ba Jin was living in Shen Congwen's house as a VIP. Ba Jin, his second sister Zhang Yunhe and Shen Congwen, and other familiar young artists all sat around him and listened to her chatting enthusiastically. Bian quietly sat down at a distance. The second sister, sharp-eyed, clapped her hands and said, "Come, sit in the front. This time, the second sister will introduce you to a new classmate. " Bian walked shyly to the front.
Zhang Yunhe introduced Bian and said, "This small megaphone is my fourth sister. She just entered Peking University this year. In the future, the poet Bian He and our four sisters will be brothers and fellow villagers. " Chonghe generously took Bian's hand and said softly, Poet Bian, Brother Bian, fellow villager, please take care of me in the future! Now, sit on the bench with me!
Bian has never had the experience of holding hands with a young girl. This handshake made the energetic young poet feel ashamed. However, when Bian came to her senses, she was caught off guard and fell into a classic love mode of literati.
Love is like falling water.
Different from Shi Jiangnian's attitude towards Dai Wangshu, he actually considered being flat, but the obvious personality difference made him flinch. Men and women are different. Men often pursue temporary beauty and romance. In the Republic of China, some men can even give their lives for this, while women tend to live a stable and orderly life. Romance is just the spice of plain life.
Although Bian hid this feeling well, he clearly saw Bian's mind. She wants to do the right thing. On one occasion, she used the topic to explore reconciliation. Chonghe bluntly said that her aesthetics tend to be classical. She doesn't appreciate Bian's new poems, and thinks that without classical poems, it is difficult to arouse the * * * in her heart. Secondly, Chonghe thinks that Bian is too tender, "lacking in depth", "not deep enough" and "lacking in social experience", which makes him feel that Bian is "a bit ostentatious". Finally, he smiled gently and said to his second sister Zhang Yunhe, "His looks, including glasses, are a bit pretentious."
They are promising young people who love poetry, but because one likes modern poetry and the other likes classical poetry, they think that they can't form soul mates, which is a bit morbid. However, in the communication between Bian and Bian, perhaps from the beginning, this kind of intentional or unintentional communication was doomed.
1at the end of 935, Zhang Chonghe suddenly got tuberculosis for no reason. Yuan He, Zhang's eldest sister, went to Beiping in person to take Chonghe back to his hometown in Suzhou, where the climate is more pleasant.
1936 10, Bian's mother died of illness. Bian returned to his hometown in Zhejiang to attend the funeral. After his mother was buried, Bian was always worried and made a special trip to Suzhou. After returning to Suzhou, Zhang Chonghe lived a boring life without friends. Seeing Bian's arrival, she was in a good mood. She accompanied Bian around all the scenic spots in Suzhou. Bian Zhilin is glad to see Zhang Chonghe recover so quickly.
In fact, Bian Zhi Lin is not happy at the moment. He suddenly suffered from his mother's funeral, and he felt uncertain about his future fate. He tried his best to keep himself busy and travel with him just to stay with her for a while, but Bian later said with great self-pity, "Suspicion made me lack confidence, and weakness made me restrain my impulse. There is a vague premonition that there is no hope, and it is only a flower that will not bear fruit. "
Poets are sensitive and always evaluate people around them emotionally. They always like to predict things that have never happened pessimistically, but this time he seems to have predicted that the result of his reconciliation will not be beautiful.
1August, 937, Zhu Guangqian hired his proud disciple Bian as a lecturer in the Foreign Languages Department of Sichuan University College of Literature. /kloc-0 June/kloc-0 June, Bian arrived in Chengdu and immediately wrote to his hometown in Hefei, inviting him to come to Chengdu to seek development opportunities.
At that time, second sister Yun and second brother-in-law Zhou Youguang led a son and a daughter to stay in Chengdu. Zhang Chonghe stayed in his hometown and watched the war spread rapidly from the north to the south, feeling that the crisis was getting worse and worse. So she left Hefei with her eldest brother Zong and a cousin and fled to Sichuan.
It was very difficult for Zhang Chonghe to escape all the way. There are often sudden bombings by Japanese planes in the sky, and on the ground, it is often necessary to avoid robbery by habitual bandits. In war, human life is the least valuable. Hunger is everywhere on the way, and fresh life keeps dying on the roadside, becoming a lonely soul without a body. Some people eat to eat, and some people kill to eat. Seeing all this, I suddenly understood the value of Bian's feelings.
After arriving in Chengdu, Zhang Chonghe couldn't find a suitable job at the moment, so she lived with her second sister Zhang Yunhe for the time being.
Bian is afraid of being bored when she first arrives in a strange environment, and often writes to chat with her. During that time, they talked about a wide range of topics, far and wide, just trying to bring some comfort to the war atmosphere.
Several enthusiastic professors of Sichuan University also saw the signs of love between Bian and Zhang, which injected a little stimulant into everyone's life. Therefore, they began to loudly advise the poet Bian, encouraged Bian to entertain everyone often, and regarded Bian He Zhang as a joke at the banquet.
Bian was originally an easy-going person and didn't feel uncomfortable with his colleagues' jokes. However, Zhang Chonghe can't stand this. She has developed a noble and independent temper since childhood. She judged that the professors' behavior at the banquet was "vulgar and not worth listening to".
One is easygoing and the other is indifferent, just like the curved moon hanging high at night, shining into the newly brewed tea in the tea bowl.
Zhang Chonghe advised "Bian" not to go to this boring booze again, but "Bian" felt embarrassed. In a fit of pique, Zhang Chonghe quietly fled Chengdu. The next day, Bian couldn't find a settlement, and she realized that she had annoyed her. After a week's search, Bian He's second sister learned from other places that Chonghe went to Qingcheng Mountain alone.
The second sister was convinced after learning it, so she asked the fourth brother Zhang to get the reconciliation back. Bian also wanted to go up the mountain to apologize, but he was soft-hearted and hesitant before leaving. And at this time, and have run away from home for ten days.
Zhang went to Qingcheng Mountain alone to find Fourth Sister. A few days later, Bian Wei wrote a love poem for Chonghe. Chonghe just glanced at it and said softly, "It's really good." Her attitude towards Bian is obviously much colder. The angry woman wanted to get together at once, but Bian didn't understand that this wooden young man didn't have the romantic temperament inherent in crescent poets, and he couldn't impress the romance, so that they eventually drifted away.
Bian didn't grasp the only good feelings left, but at the critical moment when he fell in love with him, he chose to take a step back. This retreat is a lifetime.
/kloc-in the autumn of 0/938, best friends He Qifang and Sha Ting had a plan to go to Yan 'an. Bian, who was carried away by love at this time, immediately said that she also wanted to go. Bian lived in seclusion in a quiet street in Yunnan for a long time during his trip to Yan 'an. She sorted out her broken feelings. She finally concluded: Bian is really not a man who can be entrusted for life.
In fact, not knowing each other is also the reason why they missed it. If Bian didn't go to Yan 'an at that time, but went directly to Yunnan to find her, would everything be different? Unfortunately, without if, there is no chance to come again.
1943 During the winter vacation, Bian visited Chonghe in Chongqing, and Chonghe formally and tactfully rejected Bian's feelings. During the period of 1947, Chonghe met Hans Hermannt Frankel, a foreign professor of the Department of Western Languages in Peking University. A year later, Chonghe married Hans and settled in the United States in June+10 of the following year.
Five years later, Bian came to the rural areas of Fuyang, Zhejiang Province to participate in the agricultural cooperative movement. It is autumn, and the Zhejiang countryside is quiet and clear at night. Bian lived in the boudoir where he once lived! The former residence is still there, but the beauty is gone. Bian described it this way: "One autumn night, I was sitting in front of an empty desk left by the original owner, occasionally rummaging through drawers, and suddenly I caught a glimpse of a pile of manuscripts that nobody cared about. I took it out and looked at it. It turned out to be several manuscripts that Shen Wei filled in and changed. " Looking back, I can remember the past vividly, and suddenly I have mixed feelings.
1955 65438+ 10 1 After several hesitations, Bian, 45, married a 34-year-old poet.
Maybe Bian never knew how to love. He can stop for her, relieve her worries and write a beautiful poem for her. But he forgot that to love someone, besides stopping at a distance to protect her, it is more important to approach her and take care of her. Although not all love can be complete, although it is not obtained in the end, it does not mean that he does not love her. ...