Now that I'm a star,
I want to realize my dream of being a star.
When I was a star,
My dream is to be the brightest star in the night sky.
Because only that star can bring people the brightest starlight.
Let people feel the warmth brought by starlight.
When I was also a star
I want to be the brightest star in my heart.
Because only the shining soul can make people feel the warmth brought by the starlight.
I am also a star, the brightest star.
Composition evaluation:
The young writer has a good wish to become a star, and he is the brightest star. When this desire is expressed in poetry, it should be done step by step in a poem, not in a natural festival of poetry. In a natural festival, you say you want to be a star first, and then you say you want to be the brightest star, which is too fast. Similarly, in the first verse of the poem, the first sentence says "My dream is to be a star", and then the second sentence says "I am also a star now", which makes a logical mistake of violating the equality.