Excerpted from my new book Carp/Loneliness
Virtue:
It is a virtue to let people who love you forget you willingly.
Reject:
There was a time when I refused music, and even the best works were kitsch and show off.
Let's listen to the first train whistling across the field in the morning.
Sometimes refusal is because of boredom.
Sometimes rejection is just fear of commitment, that's all.
Confess:
So not loving is good,
Not loving is also the explanation of one creature to another.
Wound:
Diamonds decorate the body. The most direct and noble jewelry.
Some wounds are a disgrace, others are just for showing off strength.
Charities:
When one creature is disappointed in another, it can remain kind.
This is called charity.
Self-knowledge:
As a manifestation of growth, helplessness is often greater than narcissism.
Open-minded:
When you are immersed in the undercurrent again, you fantasize about the rocks on the shore.
So you decided to learn to survive instead of drowning yourself.
Satisfy:
You said that this kind of light makes you cold, and all incandescent lamps in the house are not energy-saving.
But you use them because light is hot and witty.
Like his (her) hot back,
Make you satisfied.
Sadness:
When sadness melts into the body, it only changes the attitude towards people.
People and things cannot be changed.
What has changed is a completely indifferent attitude towards the world.
Such unfathomable sadness.
Old:
People who often don't talk about love are most likely to die in the hands of love.
I'm too old to keep things to myself. I just said it and forgot.
Cruel:
We used to love each other.
He was afraid that I would die alone and only told me my faith.
So I can have a vanity to rely on.
I'm afraid he will die alone and let him get married and have children.
So that he can eat more.
Who is more cruel than who?
Mom:
One day, I finally got tired of walking.
Will return to mom's arms,
She would touch my hair and say,
Silly child, all love and pain are fake.
Have nothing to do with yourself:
I am used to thankless, but I hide kindness and kindness.
Don't try to get false and shallow recognition from any behavior and words.
Yes, no harm or please.
Competing for favor and falling out of favor has nothing to do with yourself.
Dissemination:
How love spreads,
My work will be circulated in this way.
Get carried away:
Snuggling is nothing compared with fate,
You have never been afraid of separation and frustration.
Failure:
Before the hope was dashed, you suddenly decided to stay alone.
Disappear:
Someone disappeared from sight,
Someone disappears into the soul,
Someone disappeared into the sound,
I will disappear by my side,
Think of pain as an acquisition.
Dead angle:
I am still just a corner of you, holding irrelevant feelings.
Cool:
Is to stop having any illusions about each other's lives.
Love:
It has nothing to do with gains and losses, and it has nothing to do with youth and old age.
It has nothing to do with promotion and elimination, and it has nothing to do with him or her.
It's not the end of the game. Fate, choice, fighting, temptation and loneliness are indispensable. ......
Just a heart's desire.
Continue:
True love will only happen in silence forever,
Keep silent.
But there is no such thing as not being separated.
Isle Park, a mysterious poet, was exposed by French fashion channel FashionTV in 20 12. In August of 20 13, he was suddenly interviewed by China Independent Literature magazine and talked about his new translation, The Hungry Narcissus.
Island Park Interview-You're staring at me, but you need to move on. Online comments on him are: Isle Park Isle Park, male, poet, translator, young writer, committed to online literature, published music albums, multiple identities, mysterious behavior. In my opinion, Isle Park is a low-key person, far from private life, who loves and focuses on literature. He is mysterious and open. Readers can try to get close to him, know him and know themselves through his poems, novels and translated works. The interview was due to his novella Night/Initial Question/Never, which was published as a simplified version of Sigh in Yannian and Long Songs. Due to the limitation of words, this novel has been silently read, thought, revised and polished for countless times, and finally completed. It is a short and intimate silent conversation between me and him. For such an author, my heart is full of joy, with jumping uncertainty, suddenly far away and suddenly near. But I will unconsciously keep a certain distance. Besides work, as a reader, I will pay more attention to my heart, not overstep and not ask questions. For him, the reader is more like a follower, who walks alone in this follower and mutual companionship. He once said that his words are only written for lonely children, and have nothing to do with happy humans. We can't stare at him for a long time, we can only stay in our hearts silently, and then move forward alone, gradually enriching and perfecting ourselves. These words flow and jump like notes, and I am very happy to have such a silent conversation with him. Share it with you. The following: X= Xia Zhitong H= Isle Park "The original intention of writing is only for a small number of self-taught people to read." X: Sigh is an abridged version of Night/First Question/Never, published in Vector Years and Long Songs. You said this novel recorded your inner changes. Can you elaborate on it? H: Sigh is a condensed version of Night/Question/Never, edited by Xia Zhitong. I remember you asking me. Is it okay? I really like it inside. After streamlining, I became more autistic and unintentional, and became a state of simply discussing love and being loved, integration and separation. The manuscript "In the Night/First Question/Never" represents three flowing states: the night is approaching, it is hard to say, and it cannot be reached. The content of the manuscript is more abundant, including the description of autistic children and the longing for a French boy with gray-blue eyes to travel alone. This work is different from previous works. It's true, and it's what happened to the author. It is more similar to the structure of reportage, a literary genre forgotten by mainstream literature. If an author now says that he is still writing reportage and writing about the real feelings of real people, it may be a symbol of retrogression. People are willing to stare at the tides brought by the upper reaches of the river, but they are often unwilling to stare at the whereabouts of the lower reaches of the river. And this work is just an inner gaze at the lower reaches of the river. Xu: Sigh was loved by readers as soon as it was published in Long Songs of Vector Years. Some readers even contacted the magazine and asked about your recent situation. What do you want to say to the readers? H: No matter what kind of mentality the reader uses to read the work and evaluate the author, the essence is to watch the short-lived flowers doomed to end under the flower tree. Will bring beauty, will bring fragmentation and nostalgia, will bring disappointment and regret. I remember a long time ago, my attitude towards readers was "You have been staring at me, but you need to move on", and it still does. Xu: You said that your works were only written for lonely children, not for happy people. Why? What is your writing philosophy? H: The word "child" used here is an image, which represents the pain of growing up and the inner softness that is gradually ignored, while the word "loneliness" stands for "self-study". These pains and softness need to be faced and eliminated alone. "Happy human beings" are the vast majority of people who are misled in all the big frameworks. Mainstream culture will educate them what is perfect and happy, and cultivate them into consumers of this concept. Moreover, my original intention of writing is only for a small number of self-taught people. They don't seek outside help, they are more concerned about the subtle changes in their hearts, and the mountains full of daffodils in their hearts. A person who pays attention to the trend of his palm prints records the changes of his palm prints year after year with a copier. Shoot a flower tree with different forms that bloom every year, and so on. My work is written for such people. X: As for elephants, it is said that there are only 10 stray books in the world. Personally, I feel that this form creates a private and beautiful voice between the author and the reader. Why is this form adopted? H: The Wandering Elephant is more similar to performance art, but its carrier is the product of thinking created by a person. It is as abstract as fleeting love. What I can leave is each other's short messages and gifts, but I can't leave a slight trembling in the air at that time. "Elephant" expands this concept, disappears instantly, and is completed instantly. I can't ask for it, I love it. Disappear without a trace. It's Zen. It's my first book and a concept I can't surpass. "The relationship between writing and life is the relationship between flowers and soil." Xu: How do you view the relationship between writing and life, or the relationship between spiritual needs and material needs? H: Writing is a nostalgic moment. Writing is no longer a temporary writing. The sense of completion and passing it brings is so charming. Life is more trivial and coherent than writing, and writing can be screened, cut, mixed and examined. And life needs you to observe silently, observing the subtle friction between the surrounding and the heart. The relationship between writing and life is the relationship between flowers and soil. Spiritual needs and material needs are not antagonistic, nor integrated, but isolated, and both need to be enriched through different channels. X: You are so low-key that you won't even reveal the origin of the name "Isle Park". What about your own works? Is it related to your personality? Don't you want readers to know more about you in real life? H: Simple writing is enough. The author follows the guidance from above, and this guidance takes place through the carrier of the author. Low-key is a very common thing, an attribute, epiphyllum blooms at night, lotus blooms in water. Xu: I know that your trend is to publish two works this year after returning to China: Hungry Narcissus and Burning Flowers on the Pillow. "Hungry Narcissus" is the work of your translation poet Christina Conrad. I saw that it has been read online on Douban. "Burning flowers on the pillow" is also a beautiful title. When and in what form will it be released? Can you introduce these two works? The Hungry Narcissus is the first literary work of New Zealand poet Christina Conrad. Its English name "This fig tree has thorns" was published in 1974. This collection of poems has a deep influence on me. When you read it, you will be moved by simple and repeated sentences, and you will see the pictures behind those characters, which is awkward. I want to translate it. Yes, I want it. "Standing under the tree for too long, the newly opened Jingui suddenly fell into the hair room, just because of lust, so the decline is unpredictable. People are still coming and going in this world, rude and hasty to each other, and finally they all die. If you can't be as good as ever, you need to be more kind. " It's a sentence from the pillow burning flowers. This is a lonely conversation. When and how this work was released is a mystery to me and the most fascinating thing. It's nice to wait for something that hasn't happened yet. At this moment, nothing happens may be its most beautiful state. Xu: Will you be a best-selling author in the future? H: I don't expect much from my literary works now. Once they are finished, I will form my own circular orbit. At the same time, I hope my translated works can sell well. I want to pass them on through my own meager strength. The selected translated works are precious. They were buried, ignored, misinterpreted and banned in the previous era. History with trauma and blood is a sad and gloomy gem. If you haven't smelled the smell of being buried and the smell of blood, then you won't know its value. Now, I feel sorry for the intoxicated gems. I finally learned to wear them around my neck. "When I opened the door, I saw the rivers and lakes. As soon as I closed the door, I saw the mountain. " X: Is it a reward for you to settle in China? Including life and writing? H: Returning to China to settle down is a new background. Under this background, the isolation factor is aggravated. What is written in the sigh is that people can't choose their own situation, there is no hope and there will be no miracle. I came back with this mentality, with a fragile will and a determination to die, which may be just the opposite. X: What is your ideal life state? How to treat your current living conditions? H: There is a small yard where we can plant flowers, drink tea, rest and read books. There are one or two friends who exchange letters. A stable job, a feeling of not being afraid of being old and losing. Now life needs us to be ready to accept fragmentation and alienation at any time. Accept impermanent disillusionment. Imagine that. X: Do you like traveling? Which city do you like best? What is the reason? H: Cities or countries are alternative backgrounds for writers to choose from. People can't choose their hometown, but they can choose a foreign land. There is no favorite city. On the contrary, and real people are interested in old villages and run-down towns. Now I don't deliberately let myself walk on the road, and there is no place I have to go. Sitting quietly in the yard, when flowers are blooming, tea will become slightly cold if it is not drunk in time. You will find that at this moment, you will see the rivers and lakes as soon as you open the door, and the mountains as soon as you close the door. X: Anything else to add? H: Thank you very much for the well-prepared interview, which gave me a dummy position and made me look at myself calmly. Of course, there will be many questions, puzzles and puzzles in my heart, whizzing past, waiting for the shallow meaning to be infused by time. It's just that now I think that those unanswered questions and unanswered answers may be just as fragile. We talk silently in words, which may be biased and unreasonable. But it doesn't matter. Like hopeless love and unfinished expectation, it is an onomatopoeic word.