The leaves have fallen and the dreams are sparse, leaving only joys and sorrows to be cut off.
Recalling the face by looking at the photo, it seems that the years are like turning pages of a book.
Gradually we will know the truth for the rest of our lives. How can we talk about the past?
Another year is coming to an end, the dusk snow is falling and the lanterns are lighting up.
? Forty-six years have passed, the past is shocking, and the past feels like a dream! The past time cannot be chased, time has changed, things have changed, people have changed, the sun is setting and the weather is cold, I feel sad. I feel a lump in my chest when I feel this article!
The only traveler in green clothes can even hear the silk and bamboo towel stained with tears! On this lonely and cold winter night, the beautiful and sad melody of "Memory of Zhengzhou" sounded in my ears, and the past came to my mind like a tide
Since forty-six years ago From the day I accidentally fell to the ground in Zhengzhou like a speck of dust on that snowy night, my destiny and emotions have been completely intertwined with Zhengzhou and can never be separated. In my carefree childhood, my friends and I went to catch loaches in the Jinshui River, catch cicadas in the People's Park, and fly kites in Greentown Square...; during my six years of middle school in Zheng Tie No. 2 Middle School, I I worked hard with my classmates to study and point out the country's inspiring words and study hard for the "Rise of China". Together with my classmates, I went to the Mangshan Yellow River Tourist Area to appreciate the magnificent mountains and rivers of the motherland where "the big rivers day and night, the dead are like a man", and The students went to the football field of Henan Medical College, School of Food and Anti-aircraft Artillery, sweating like rain and fighting fiercely, showing the passion and joy of youth on the football field...; I still remember the day when the college entrance examination notice was issued in 1989, when I received my admission to the university. After receiving the notice, several classmates and I rode bicycles in the streets and alleys of Zhengzhou, singing loudly until three or four o'clock in the night. I really felt like "I am so proud of the spring breeze that I read all the flowers in Chang'an in one day"; I went to Xi'an to study hard. Four years later, after graduating from college, I returned to Zhengzhou, my hometown that I have always dreamed of, and started working. Here I had an unforgettable relationship with my first love. She is a girl as beautiful and smart as a lilac. I went to watch movies at Oscars with her, went to Xinhua Bookstore together to pick out our favorite books, and went to the library to review and prepare for the lawyer qualification exam. The one I remember the most is when we were in our twenties. That night two years ago, the north wind was howling and the snow was flying. After she got off work, I took her home on my bicycle. She held my waist and sat on the back seat. We talked about ideals, life, poetry and distance. I only want this The road never ends. The boy riding a bicycle on a snowy night is filled with happiness and sweetness. Although we broke up in the end, I still miss you deeply and am grateful to you. It was you who made me taste the sweetness and sadness of love and made me grow up. We are both happy when we are apart. We are still friends when we meet again! On May Day, 1998, I got married to a good girl who loved and understood me, and we held hands and grew old together. On August 21, 1999, I waited anxiously for four hours in front of the delivery room when my lover was pushed out of the delivery room. , she told me tiredly but with a smile that it was a boy, just call him "Yu Yi" according to your name. The joy of becoming a father for the first time made me shed tears of happiness! Seven years ago today, I delivered lunch to my mother who was seriously ill in the hospital. My mother was very weak, but she saw that I had brought rice pudding and drank it happily. Because I had a big case to go to court the next day, my mother urged me to go back to the work unit to make preparations. With my third aunt by her side, I hesitated and went back to the work unit despite my mother's urging. As a result, my mother died of heart failure in her sleep at five o'clock in the afternoon. This is the biggest regret in my life! I wasn't with my mother when she left! The saddest thing is the guest in green shirt, who sheds tears to see no one in the hall! The person who loved me the most who brought me to the world forty years ago is gone, and I have become an orphan in the world since then! More than forty years of life have taught me a lot and allowed me to truly understand the "intersection of joy and sorrow" in life, but I still live strong and happy with memories and pain.
? There is nothing to do in old age but to miss each other! In recent years, I have often thought of many details of my past life, people who have passed by and left, memory scenes that have been mottled, so real but so illusory. Perhaps they have peeled off, lost, and become... when I am not paying attention. A past that seems to have never existed cannot be undone. However, they once existed so real and definite, but I can no longer tell the validity of those memories to everyone, because even I have forgotten them, so let me use these affectionate words to record every bit of the past, Come and pay homage to those memorable people and things in my life that I can never forget!
? Romain Rolland said: "Most people have died in their twenties and thirties. They have become their own shadows, constantly repeating their former selves!" Camus also said: "For the future, All generosity is giving everything to the present! "Time is always moving forward, and there is the past self, the present self and the future self in us. The reason why I recall the past and cherish my old friends is not to simply remember a specific person or thing, nor to miss and repeat myself today, but to reborn me every moment, and to keep my soul awakening. If you are willing to "walk out for half your life and come back as a teenager", I would rather live on the road, forgetting neither the original intention nor the future. My epiphany in life is: Don’t alienate yourself from anyone. Only you can live your life with yourself! When I come to the end of time, I hope that every moment of my life will be full of understanding, and every year of my life will be full of rivers.
One day, I will completely return to myself, I will leave this world alive and enter my own life!
Well, let’s do what we sing in the song: Time has changed a lot but nothing, let me hug you again, my friend, my lover, my Zhengzhou!
Recorded in the study room on the winter night of Laba on January 24, 2018
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Memories about Zhengzhou