After mentioning 90, there is a high-frequency description: 90 is the beat generation.
I don't think so. This generation is actually the most complicated generation.
This generation was born after the wave of reform and opening up, the darkest, material and turbulent era of society.
Western advanced science and technology have also brought petty bourgeoisie and hedonism. All kinds of epics and heroic works calling for freedom, as well as six-yuan youth and romance novels magazines on newsstands, have shaped this generation's paranoid, unique and superego character.
Anxious idealists may describe this generation.
We scoff at the rigid education and the selection method of college entrance examination, and are angry at all kinds of social chaos. When the road is bumpy, we are eager to stand up and shout, stand up without investigation, and challenge all kinds of authority by our own shallow experience. There are many people who do bad things with good intentions.
I got on the last bus of poverty and experienced a great turning point in history.
For their own life, family, emotional difficulties, for most of them who are about to enter or have entered the middle age of 30, it is a training ground.
Some people ran away angrily to pursue poetry and distance, and finally fell forever in the reinforced concrete forest without fairy tales and poems.
Some people choose to retreat from this knife, silently bear all the hardships of life, and bear the betrayal of love and ideals until they become the most annoying characters in the stories they saw at first. They can't bear this kind of self-betrayal, and many people are autistic and depressed because of the collapse of their beliefs.
There are also many people who have succeeded with all kinds of magical abilities and luck. Perhaps what our generation envies most are folk musicians who have made great achievements. In the description of our ideal personality, they live a free and easy life. I really envy them that they can spend their whole lives loving their careers.
We can't have their courage, not to mention the most critical talent and luck.
Bili Bili satisfies a large number of such young people, giving them a space to keep their yearning for this lifestyle.
Even if you can't get it, even if it is far away, there will be cats, small gardens and ideal love.
Under such self-anesthesia, the post-90s generation either work in a big city where they can only support themselves after paying the rent, or lose all their leisure time and even health with high salary.
In this numbness, we slowly and involuntarily lose everything and become a depressed generation, and online cloud music is the gathering place of this group.
What's more, many people are addicted to the virtual world and become confined at home. Some people even lose the most basic ability to communicate with others, and they are completely disabled.
Let's talk about having a father, the same complicated post-70 s.
The post-1970s generation is the explorer who took the first step in the new era and the last gatekeeper in the old era.
This generation is generally not well educated.
There are several notable features:
First, attach importance to children's academic qualifications, but the education method is rude.
Second, the desire to control children is quite strong.
Third, inferiority and superior face.
Fourth, family relationships are maintained by children, but family education generally fails and parent-child relationships are poor.
Fifth, excessive anxiety, lack of accurate understanding of new things, lack of unified understanding and reasonable planning and management of children's education, and strong desire for control, usually manifested in peeking at children's adolescent diaries.
They know nothing about education, but they don't know why. Of course, I also think that post-90s education is quite a failure. The fundamental purpose of education should be to let people know the honor and disgrace, be polite and understand the basic principles of dealing with people.
However, the so-called quality education in this respect is still lacking. Our education experts came out to see for themselves what they taught their children.
A senior three student who has studied for ten years doesn't do housework at home and loses his temper with his parents if he is dissatisfied. His parents told him to do housework, but he lost his temper. He doesn't know how to restrain himself when playing mobile phones, and he doesn't even pretend to correct his mistakes when he is criticized. Honesty and frankness are like an African-American youth holding a flag in the streets of new york, shouting for freedom.
Freedom, self, independence and uniqueness.
I don't agree with these views.
Excessive originality will only lead to aesthetic fatigue, and when it rises to social and cultural works, it will evolve into this era of entertainment to death.
Freedom? Nobody cares if it's not freedom, and it's not freedom to do whatever you want.
Look how free the animals on the African grasslands are. They eat grass if they want, run if they want, and mate if they want, right?
Have you ever tasted the fear of being chased by a lion?
Absolute freedom does not exist. Freedom can only breed feelings of inequality, and let the disadvantaged groups kill each other under the control of the ruling class. It is no exaggeration to say that this is a free and beautiful scenery.
Some people's freedom has become egoism. No matter how big the flood is after their death, even if I do something and consider the feelings of others, I lose. Family, school and friends should take me as the center, and even people with different opinions on the Internet should hold keyboards and dance with half a bucket of water.
This is a common problem of this generation invaded by western culture.
I really came to curse today. Some people say that the post-90s collapse really has deep-seated reasons. I hope to awaken some people and clarify some unwarranted mistakes for our generation.
There are also young people with advanced ideas who suddenly repent, or have solved this dilemma and started to abandon the western ideas with strong flavor of poisoned chicken soup.
The post-70 s generation was destroyed by the short video of vibrato. In the era of information explosion, the fastest, most convenient and most accessible channels for them to obtain information are official WeChat accounts and short videos.
Ironically, the most deceptive content in it is the poisoned chicken soup that once poisoned the post-90s generation.
The elders picked up the rubbish that we once loved and then scoffed at, presented it as a Bible, and took pains to educate us with poisoned chicken soup. It's really disgusting. The taste is indescribable. Probably when everyone was educated by their parents with poisoned chicken soup, they felt much more disgusting than eating old eight hamburgers.
You can't blame the post-90 s for not listening to your parents and being away from home. No one can escape the bondage of human nature.
So the rebellious post-90s and the controlling post-70s started this war.
Secondly, people suffer for being a good teacher.
Mencius said: The trouble with others lies in being a good teacher.
The biggest danger in dealing with people is that you like being someone else's teacher.
As a leader, it is easy to seize the opportunity, so we should teach our subordinates to do things, be parents, and educate our children when we seize the opportunity.
As everyone knows, excellent subordinates are forced away by fatuous middle management in this way. As long as parents are not assholes, children are not so easily forced away. It is natural that they will not listen to you and oppose you. Think about the leaders you have experienced who have to take care of everything, and then think about how you educate your children. Isn't it no different from your previous leader? You asked me why your son didn't listen. How did you do that? Are you sure you don't have a B number in mind?
But!
After all, poverty inherits the wind.
Remember this sentence, the point.
Understand the superficial meaning of this sentence, you will be threatened by your parents and society for life, and you will never escape the vicious circle of family discord and career pressure. Many parents have done bad things with this idea without knowing it. In the end, I only feel that the child is disobedient and disappointing. What can be wrong with his kindness?
I did it for your own good!
How to understand this sentence? How to respond.
I think we should first analyze what parents really want.
The sign of a mature person is not that he can achieve great things at once, but that he can take care of the feelings of most participants when dealing with a small matter.
Give an example that happened to you.
I have a relative who was adopted as a son by others in his early years. Later, I graduated from the police academy and have been doing business outside. He comes from a middle-class family.
However, this gentleman has always been a humble investor. Last year, he was framed by investors, maliciously pitted and owed 6 million debts.
At first, the gentleman did it without telling all his brothers, until the court decided to freeze the account and all the assets under his name were transferred. However, after being audited by the bank, it was found that there was still running water in the account, so it was immediately reported to the court by the creditor. The court convicted him of economic crimes and may face three to seven years in prison. By the time the brothers found out, the others had already gone to prison and stayed in prison for several years this year.
I looked for various channels and relationships at home, and even returned 500,000 yuan for the demolition of old houses to my creditors, but I didn't fish this guy out. His biological mother has also been ill recently. Lacrimosa beat his chest and feet every day, and he was ten years older in a few days, so he was listless.
Social changes have aggravated their fears. The ever-changing technology and knowledge they don't understand make them feel that they are slowly being eliminated by the times. Coupled with this generation's indifference and self-esteem, they have to cultivate children's anxiety and great pressure, family and marriage failures, and economic pressure brought about by the slowdown in economic growth.
What's more, children's rebellion and unworthiness, high housing prices and high bride price, coupled with the imbalance between men and women, have amplified their inner anxiety and uneasiness.
Depression is not a patent for young people, but the depression of middle-aged people is really terrible, and it collapses quietly. When you find it, it is too late.
In fact, as parents, the expectation of their children's bottom line is not to hope that their children will be more promising in the future, or to be more filial to themselves and buy themselves a lot of delicious food and clothes.
Their simplest wish is that their children can be well, safely, well-fed and well-dressed. I can take care of myself, and I don't expect how smart I am to be admitted to Tsinghua Peking University. As long as I keep accounts, I won't be cheated or cheated. I don't want the tragedy of white-haired people visiting prison and black-haired people catching people on New Year's Eve.
To sum up: let parents feel that even if one day they want to leave this world before you, they are no longer afraid that you can't take care of yourself. Let them feel that they can die with a smile in the future, and you will really mature in their hearts.
Understand this bottom line, in fact, there are two directions to win the trust or reconciliation of such parents.
First: the career and family are fully successful. When you succeed in one or both of these two aspects, you can begin to gain the right to speak in front of your parents and participate in the decision-making of family affairs. The more awesome you are, the more obedient your parents are.
Second: gain independence in thought and life. You must have your own mature ability to handle affairs and take care of basic life, and then you can fight with your parents and keep a balance: I will make my own decisions and not accept your ideas, but I will not live too hard or too badly according to my unique lifestyle.
Deep down, we are all afraid of such parents, who control in the name of love, so we long for love but are afraid of getting married and having children.
We all understand the intention of being a parent, but we will never be like that, and we will never be like that. Once you have children, pressure and anxiety from all sides will put you on the road to becoming such a controlling parent.
We are afraid to be such parents.
Third, move towards autonomy.
Compared with westerners' emphasis on freedom, China people emphasize independence and self-improvement.
What is autonomy?
The first is to be responsible for your own actions, not to do what you want to do, but to abide by social ethics and laws, pay the price for your actions and bear the consequences. Being a husband, a wife, a child and a parent is not worthy of praise. Is the foundation of being a man.
The second is ability and talent. This does not mean that a person can make amazing events or achieve great achievements at once, but can take care of the feelings of most participants and be as fair as possible when dealing with even a small matter. Then we can say that this person is mature and reliable in the eyes of most people.
The third is to be honest, to be tolerant of others, to cultivate one's morality at all times, and to restrain one's behavior. Passing on too much property to the next generation actually does more harm than good. If virtue does not match, it will attract people's attention and eventually lead to disaster.
The most valuable and inheritable treasure should be a good family style and good moral character.
Don't go easy on habitual and controlling parents. You should be angry with them and talk back. It's no use just being a yes man.
You can talk back to them and even quarrel with them, but you must do the housework your mother tells you.
You can fight them, but you must take it step by step. The last few times, you can't cross their final bottom line. You can't do things without leaving a backward path. You should learn to calm your parents down, accept the result after you finish, and then coax them to get rid of half their anger, which will eventually lead to your independence.
Face them wisely, admit cowardice occasionally, take care of their face and self-esteem, and let your parents discover your maturity instead of exposing your naivety in confrontation.
Finally, teach a little coup, how to deal with parents' scolding, some parents and couples quarrel, and it is normal to take it out on their children after the quarrel.
However, I have heard a very interesting saying that all those who scold you are bodhisattvas.
It is right for parents to blame you for no reason. It is the bodhisattva who silently curses. The bodhisattva cursed because she cared about the poor life in the world, and she was not angry with the bodhisattva.
Someone scolds you to prove that you are blessed (laughs). Don't feel wronged. What can you do if the Bodhisattva scolds you? Can you still scold the bodhisattva?
Haha, just scold. It's really my own problem. Correct it. If I have no problem, I will take a warning and never make the same mistake again.