Unwritten rules of adult social interaction: only screening, no education
(Changing yourself is God, changing others is crazy)
1. The reason why you are unhappy , because they always want to change others
Psychological "projection effect"
People always tend to think that other people's thinking and habits should be consistent with their own. If they are different, they want to change others.
People's outlook and cognition are formed over time. It is not easy to change yourself, let alone change others?
We often correct ourselves with the thought of "for your own good". Not only are the efforts of those around you in vain, but they also cause you to fall into disappointment and pain:
Your child always procrastinates, and you patiently correct him, but in the end he does not improve himself but suffers from mental and physical pain;
Partner You are addicted to staying up late, but you urge me with good intentions, but as a result, your husband not only refuses to repent, but also blames you for interfering;
My parents like to eat leftovers, and no matter how much I try to persuade them, they always turn a deaf ear and criticize you for not knowing how to be frugal;
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I agree with a saying: We just need to shine our own light, and don’t force others to light the light.
2. Changing yourself is God, changing others is crazy
In life, we will always meet people who think differently and have different ideas:
Maybe there are Family members with bad habits, friends with different views, or work partners with completely different personalities and work styles! Changing others may seem simple, but it is actually very difficult;
Changing yourself may seem painful, but in fact it is simpler .
It is better to try to adjust your own mentality than to try to change others.
As we change, our thinking, logic and habits will also change, and our interactions with others will also be completely different.
Change often happens when we least expect it.
3. Adults only screen but do not educate
In life, we will inevitably meet people with different views and magnetic fields. Rather than struggling to change, it’s better to establish your own set of filtering rules. Not everyone lives in the same sea and has different paths.
Someone once asked, "How do you cultivate these outstanding talents?"
Answer: People are created by past environments and experiences. We just remove the right people from the crowd. Screening out people is not about cultivating unsuitable people.
You strive for excellence in your work, but others are perfunctory. You like to make friends, but others sneer at you. Being like-minded is a coincidence; having different views is the norm.
We must learn to restrain our desire to transform others, and don’t extend our hands too far into other people’s lives.