There was a man named Guo Maoer in Yangzhou who was good at ventriloquism, and his son was proficient in drama. Celebrities and gentry all liked to associate with him. When I was in Yangzhou, I attended a banquet and Guo Maoer was also invited to attend. After three rounds of drinking, a friend stood up with Guo Maoer and asked the host to allow him to show off his skills for fun, and the host readily agreed.
Guo Maoer then set up several screens on the right side of the banquet. No lights or candles were placed, and he sat behind the screen. The host and guest also became quiet, waiting for the performance to begin. After a period of silence, suddenly, the audience heard two people meeting on the way, bowing and saluting, and exchanging pleasantries. Their voices sounded like an old man and a young man. Then, the old man took the young man home to drink, and they played dice (a game of dice) and Hidden Hook (a game in which the hook is hidden in the hand for the other party to guess), which was very harmonious. Later, the young man expressed that he was drunk and wanted to leave, but the old man refused and urged him to drink a few more drinks. The young man staggered out and said goodbye to each other, while the old man closed the door.
The young man staggered for two miles and finally passed out drunk on the roadside. At this time, a man passed by and tripped over him. He helped him up and saw that he was someone he knew, so he half-supported and half-tucked him and sent him home. However, the gate on the street was closed, so I had to call the gatekeeper to get up and open the door. At this moment, a dog came and barked at them, causing the nearby dogs to bark, and the barking became more and more loud - old dogs, puppies, dogs in the distance, dogs nearby, and dogs with deep voices. , loud and clear voices, all barking at the same voice, one by one can be distinguished. After a long time, the gatekeeper finally came out and opened the street gate to let people in.
When the two arrived at the young man’s residence, the messenger accidentally knocked on the door of the Jiangxi man’s house because of his misplacement. When they found out, it was already too late. The Jiangxi man had already cursed in dialect, which angered the dogs nearby. Started barking again. The young man's wife was also woken up. She opened the door and came out to help her husband. The messenger solemnly said goodbye to her. After the wife closed the door, she helped the young man to go to bed, but the young man shouted for tea, so the wife had to make tea. Unexpectedly, when the tea was ready, the young man was snoring loudly and his breath was like thunder. The wife was angry and annoyed, muttering and cursing non-stop, and fell asleep soon after, with the two of them snoring loudly. Suddenly, in the middle of the night, the cows brayed, and the young man got up and vomited, murmuring at the same time, asking his wife for tea, and then fell asleep. When the wife got up to go to the toilet and put on her shoes, she found that the shoes were filled with filth vomited by her husband. She immediately cursed angrily, put on another pair of shoes and got up.
At this moment, the chickens were crowing, just like the dogs were barking before. Then, the young man's father came and knocked on the door and said, "It's almost dawn, why don't you get up and kill the pigs to sell!" It turned out that the young man was a butcher. After the young man struggled to get up, he went to the pigsty to feed the pigs. Just listen to the sounds of the pigs shouting, chewing, and fighting for food, and the sounds of their father boiling water, adding fire, and pouring water, one after another. Not long after, the young man tied up a pig. The sound of the pig being tied up, the sound of the young man sharpening his knife and killing the pig, the sound of the pig being killed and bleeding, and the sound of the pig being scalded and losing its hair were all vivid and vivid. Finally, the father said to the young man: "It's daylight, you can sell it." After a while, the sound of meat being put on the chopping board was heard. There were people buying pig heads, pig viscera, and pork. There were also the sounds of bargaining and the number of buyers and sellers. The sound of money.
Just when the excitement was boiling, there was a sudden "pop!", everyone was silent, the performance was over, and Guo Maoer also walked out from behind the screen.
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