It is said that brotherhood is deep, and the most important thing for a family is unity and friendship, so that the family can carry forward. When everyone is in trouble, what they want most is the help and care of their loved ones.
However, in real life, this may happen. When in trouble, the closest people will avoid it for fear of being implicated because of themselves. This is what we call "betrayal"
This situation mainly exists in families with many children, and the influence of family background should not be underestimated.
The more brothers and sisters in the family, the more contradictions in life. Parents' partiality and unbalanced distribution of material and care will lead to disharmony between children.
When they are adults, the children will form their own families, because the original relationship is not harmonious, the contact will be less and less, and the family will become more and more indifferent.
Then why do some brothers and sisters stay at a distance like enemies? Psychologists gave the answer.
First, the emotional connection is relatively shallow
In family of origin, where there are many children, parents may be biased, such as favoring younger children and neglecting the care of older children. Children who grow up in such an environment will not have a good relationship.
Just like the three brothers and sisters in the TV series Everything is Fine, Su Mingyu refused to let her go to Tsinghua because her mother was partial to her two brothers and was not good to her. In order to save money, she had to go to normal university.
But my mother was able to sell the house in order to let her eldest brother study abroad, which made her feel unfair. So the relationship between brother and sister is not good since childhood. Especially between Su Mingyu and his second brother Su Mingcheng, it is incompatible.
Parents will not only have a natural quirk, but also care more about their close children. It is absolutely impossible to want parents' love to be absolutely fair in a family with many children.
Parents will teach students in accordance with their aptitude, and for introverted children, they will express their love with encouragement and attention; For extroverted children, they will teach more.
Children will have a rebellious period before they are underage, and they can't understand their parents' different education methods, so they will treat their parents' separate education as unequal love.
The one who gets less will blame his parents, but because of his parents' prestige, he will not show it, bury it in his heart and gradually form a psychological shadow.
This kind of shadow will accompany children all their lives and will not disappear when they are adults.
They hate that their parents are partial to other brothers and sisters, and when they form their own family, the emotional connection between brothers and sisters will become shallower and shallower, and the concept of affection will become lighter and lighter.
Therefore, to build a happy family, parents' attitude towards their children is very important.
Make it clear that brothers and sisters are equal, and parents love and take care of them equally. Although we can't achieve real equality, at least let the children understand their parents' intentions.
Otherwise, it will only make the relationship between children irreconcilable, ignore family values, and finally even become strangers.
Second, the economic and material gap.
Everyone has a hatred of the rich, so do brothers and sisters. As adults, many people seized the opportunity of the times and gained career and money through their own efforts.
But your relatives, brothers and sisters are living on the edge of food and clothing, and even the intimate relationship will deteriorate at this time.
Just like the stars in the entertainment circle, many people succeed step by step because of their excellent ability, appearance and talent. However, because of the family he came from and the contradiction between his relatives' financial interests, he embarked on the road of enemies.
For example, Angela Zhang was publicly accused by her mother as unfilial, which dealt a heavy blow to her prosperous career and made her go from peak to trough.
Angela Zhang was condemned by her mother because of money and interests. She has been her mother's money-making tool since she was a child, and she has been regarded as a cash cow by her mother since she became popular.
This is human nature. The more you give, the less satisfied you are. Angela Zhang's mother was dissatisfied with her daughter's alimony, so she used public opinion to ruin her career.
People may encounter such a thing. When they are developed, relatives and friends will come to curry favor with you and show you kindness in order to get the desired benefits from you;
But when you are in trouble and down, you will be eager for you and avoid it. At this time, you can see clearly the human sentiment.