Yesterday, a friend asked me to go shopping, and I declined. She asked why, and I said that I would use the only half day left this weekend to attend classes online, and then I heard a lot of ridicule on the other end of the phone until I hung up the phone. My friend said, "How old are you?" Still ringing in my ears.
yes, I'm almost forty years old. But can't a forty-year-old woman study? Can't you have the right to pursue your dreams at the age of forty? At the age of forty, you can only live a life as far as you can see, waiting for the end of your life?
no, I don't want it. "Lifelong Growth" tells me that growth is a lifelong matter, regardless of age.
Lifelong Growth is a classic work summarized by Dr. Carol Dwek in the United States for decades. Carol Dwek is recognized as one of the outstanding scholars in the fields of personality psychology, social psychology and developmental psychology. She was William Lansford Professor of Psychology at Columbia University, and is currently Professor of Psychology at Lewis and Virginia Eaton at Stanford University. She is also a member of the American Academy of Arts and Sciences. Her book "Self-Theories: Their Role in Motivation, Personality and Development" was selected as the best book of the year by the World Education Fellowship. She often writes articles for The New Yorker, Time Magazine, The New York Times Washington post and The Boston Globe, and has appeared on NBC's Today and ABC's 2/2.
In September 217, Carol Dwek won the "One Dan Award", the world's largest single education award, for her breakthrough research on "growth thinking". This theory encourages students to actively evaluate and develop their potential, which has far-reaching influence in the education sector. "Lifelong Growth" has been on Amazon's psychological bestseller list for 1 years, with a cumulative print run of 1.8 million copies. It was recommended by Bill Gates, and was praised as an innovative idea of "subverting the traditional view of success and affecting American campus education".
Carol Dwek shows through Lifelong Growth that success is not innate, not external, but the key lies in the mode of thinking.
Carol Dwek introduced two thinking modes in Lifelong Growth: fixed thinking mode and growth thinking mode.
the main feature of fixed thinking is that people's talents are unchangeable. People with this mode of thinking always want to prove their ability at all times and like to shift the responsibility to others. The main feature of growth thinking is that people's ability can be cultivated hard. People with this mode of thinking believe that although people's innate talents and qualifications are different, they can all be changed through hard work.
how to distinguish these two modes of thinking? Lifelong Growth tells us that it can be distinguished from the following five points.
1. Evaluate yourself.
People with fixed thinking rate themselves as either good or bad, focusing only on the results rather than the process, so the evaluation is inevitably inaccurate. People with growth-oriented thinking believe that their ability can be cultivated, so their evaluation of themselves will be more pertinent.
2. Views on success.
People with fixed thinking think that smart people should be successful forever, so they want to be successful forever, so they try their best to cover up their own shortcomings and eventually become people who don't like learning. However, people with growth thinking think that success can only be achieved through continuous learning, and success only means that their ability has gone up a storey still higher.
3. Views on failure.
People with fixed thinking can't accept failure, because they think that once failure equals failure, thus turning an action into an identity. In the eyes of people with growth thinking, failure is not terrible. They will benefit from failures and setbacks and make themselves stronger as described in the book Anti-Vulnerability.
4. Views on efforts.
People with fixed thinking agree with talent. They think that only incompetent people need to work hard, and it is a shame to work hard. People with growth-oriented thinking feel that genius is only achieved by 1% talent and 99% effort. They appreciate talent and advocate hard work.
5. brain waves are different.
The brainwave laboratory of Columbia University conducted a test on people with these two modes of thinking. The test found that people with fixed thinking will have brighter brainwaves when they hear the announcement of the right or wrong answer, while those with growing thinking will have brighter brainwaves when they hear the analysis of the correct answer.
At this point, we can see the truth of ability and achievement. The fixed thinking mode limits people's achievement, while the growth thinking mode helps people develop their ability and achieve success.
In order to prove this point, the author Carol Dwek followed the students' study in a medical university. She found that students with growth thinking mode have higher academic performance. Such students will learn from their failures and try to catch up next time, even if they don't do well in one exam. For students with fixed thinking patterns, their favorite learning method is rote learning. If they fail in an exam, it will be difficult for them to improve their scores.
so in what fields can growth thinking be popularized and applied?
1. Sports: the thinking mode of the champion
The thinking mode of the champion is the growth thinking that believes that success can be won through hard work.
We often say that so-and-so has a special talent for sports, so he can achieve brilliant achievements, but this is not the case. For example, the famous sports star Jordan, outsiders only saw his superficial scenery, but didn't know that Jordan was eliminated from the school team in high school, but he didn't get discouraged because of it, but trained harder. He said, I can accept failure, but I can't accept never trying.
2. Business: Thinking Mode and Leadership
Lifelong Growth introduces the relationship between leadership and thinking mode through two cases.
The first one is Lee Iacocca, the former president of Ford Motor Company. He is a leader with a fixed thinking mode. Such people have a strong sense of self. They don't want to build an excellent team, but want to be the only important person in the enterprise to prove that they are smarter than others. His conceit eventually led him to leave the company.
after that, Lee Iacocca became CEO of Chrysler. Undeniably, Lee Iacocca is a very capable person. He brought this auto company back to life on the verge of bankruptcy. However, influenced by fixed thinking, he began to build his personal image and refused to invest money in new car design and production improvement, which made Chrysler into a dilemma again. In the end, he was fired by the board of directors.
The other is Jack Welch, president of General Electric. He took over General Electric in 198. In just 2 years, the market value of this company increased from $14 billion to $49 billion. His way of management can be seen everywhere in the performance of growth thinking.
For example, he attaches great importance to teamwork. He once said in his autobiography, "Almost everything in my life is done with others." For example, he will take the initiative to chat with front-line employees and listen to their opinions and suggestions.
from these two cases, we can see that leaders with fixed thinking mode emphasize "I", they run the company to prove their talents, while leaders with growth thinking mode pay attention to "we", and they run the company to promote the development of themselves, employees and the whole enterprise.
3. Interpersonal relationship: the thinking mode of people getting along with each other
First of all, the thinking mode in love relationship.
People with fixed thinking patterns think that love is ideal. They think that if love needs hard work, it means that it doesn't belong to them. They pursue harmony and perfection, and have a heart in mind. When two people have conflicts, they will choose to blame. However, people with growth thinking mode think that love needs to be managed. Even if there is a conflict between two people, their relationship is still good, and they will try to solve the problem through communication.
The second is the mode of thinking in social interaction.
People with fixed thinking patterns often have social obstacles. On the one hand, they are very concerned about other people's comments, so they are prone to anxiety and doubt themselves. On the other hand, they are unwilling to contact people who are better than themselves, afraid of making mistakes and hate taking risks. And people with growth-oriented thinking mode will regard socialization as a challenge, and they like challenges.
4. Education: mode of thinking and education
The first is the mode of thinking of parents to educate their children.
Parents with fixed thinking mode will ask their children to achieve their expected achievements, while parents with growth thinking mode will respect their children's interests, attach importance to their children's complete personality and encourage them to forge ahead towards their own goals.
The second is the thinking mode of teachers educating children.
Teachers with fixed thinking patterns like to criticize and judge. They usually think that Xiong Haizi is not their responsibility, and there is nothing they can do for stupid students. Teachers with growth thinking mode will think, "How can I teach?" The evaluation of students is also more about his efforts than his talent.
Having said that, how can we cultivate the growth-oriented thinking mode?
Lifelong Growth tells us four steps to the growth-oriented thinking mode:
1. Accept. In fact, fixed thinking and growth thinking are not fixed, and a person may have both fixed thinking and growth thinking. If we find ourselves in a fixed mode of thinking, we must first learn to face and accept it.
2. Observe. We should pay attention to observe when our fixed thinking usually appears. What event triggered it? What decisions did we make in the end? Which is introspection.
3. Naming. Give your fixed thinking personality a name and use it to alert yourself.
4. Education. When you have a fixed thinking mode, learn to communicate inward and educate it with growth thinking.
Carol Dwek said that change may be difficult, but no one has ever said that it is not worth it. Indeed, change is a very difficult and even painful thing, and the inherent patterns we have formed over the years often hinder these changes, but I firmly believe that everyone has a heart that wants to be better. As long as you have the determination, nothing is impossible, even if you are forty years old like me, because growth is a lifelong thing, regardless of age.
Day 77 of No-ring 365 Extreme Challenge Camp