To tell the truth, personally, I think the reality has long passed? Women should be reserved? Age. Women are more active in love, but they can reap their own happiness.
However, for some lazy older women, waiting has become a habit. If you insist on letting them pursue actively, they would rather choose to die alone.
Sometimes I think that older women are single and do have some elements of their own.
My old colleague Huang Ya, 38 years old, successfully married herself last year.
Before getting married, she met several nice people before and after, but they all missed the fate because they were too reserved.
She met her present husband at a party, but she still insisted. Not taking the initiative? But in the end, with the advice of several friends of the opposite sex, she changed the idea she had always insisted on and finally succeeded in touching each other's hearts.
0 1.
Huang Ya is very beautiful since she was a child, and her academic performance is also very good. He has always been very popular with boys.
So between the ages of 20 and 30, she has been surrounded by many suitors, and because she has been pursued, her personality is a bit arrogant.
It is almost impossible for her to actively pursue boys. In her words, after being chased for so many years, she took the initiative to embarrass her.
But after 30 years old, although there are still people pursuing her, her quality is really getting worse and worse. Therefore, Huang Ya has her own anxiety, worrying that she will not get married.
At the age of 35, Huang Ya accepted the pursuit of a man three years younger than herself, and the conditions were acceptable. This man once chased her for a while, but there were other better boys around her at that time, so Huang Ya turned him down.
In the process of getting along, Huang Ya suggested that if it goes well, she can get married at the end of the year. Men are naturally very happy and take the initiative to chat.
But unfortunately, after more than half a month, the other party finally gave up. Huang Ya went to ask him. He said: Even if you take the initiative to send me a message asking me about my recent situation, I will continue to be enthusiastic about you, but you are always lukewarm, making me feel as if I am not your type.
In Huang Ya's view, he didn't want to take the initiative because he didn't like it enough. Even if the man misunderstood, she was too lazy to explain, and finally the relationship ended.
02.
When you are young, maybe everyone has a lot of enthusiasm to meet strangers and pursue the girl you like.
But with the growth of age and more experiences, men will become more and more realistic and less willing to spend more time on love.
More men still want to find a girl who is easy to get along with. You'd better get married quickly and don't be too picky.
So Huang Ya? Not taking the initiative? Girls who like to wait for others to chase are really not the first choice for boys.
When Huang Ya knew her husband, she actually knew that there were several good suitors around her, including a girl who was only 24 years old, sweet and lovely, and cheerful. Her husband had a soft spot for this girl at that time.
To tell the truth, Huang Ya actually doesn't have much chance of winning in front of this girl. If she passively chooses to wait, it is basically hopeless.
At that time, several male friends around me, after knowing the current situation of Huang Ya, gave her advice one after another, saying what kind of girls men like, and so on.
Huang Ya looks good, has temperament, and has the charm of a mature woman, which is more meaningful than a girl in her twenties.
In the end, after the man wavered between the two women, he chose Huang Ya, mainly because he felt that he was about the same age and had many topics. Of course, Huang Ya made him feel practical.
03.
Why do many women mistakenly think that love can wait by waiting?
In fact, it is mainly because most women are used to passively accepting men's courtship, thinking that only high-profile can be respected.
However, the love between men and women should actually be an equal state. In other words, if you expect to be loved by others, first of all, you should also send a signal that you love him.
If you just wait for the other person to pursue, but don't give the other person a hint, in fact, boys may not take the initiative.
When men reach a certain age, they are mostly pragmatic. They prefer to be with a comfortable woman who doesn't like to do things and doesn't have to be too jealous.
If a woman just wants to fall in love and needs them to spend a lot of time and money, most men will choose to give up.
After all, waiting for love requires a very important factor, that is, the other person loves you very much and thinks you are worth it.
But what most people feel in other people's hearts is that you are not bad. With you, it doesn't matter without you.
So in love, don't take yourself too seriously, or even if the other person likes you, he will eventually choose to give up.
Love needs wisdom, and a girl with brains often has a better chance to get the love she expects. One only? Love the brain? Most girls who don't know how to fall in love are not sincere.
In fact, whether it is love or life, only when we have the initiative can we better control the overall situation, so if we can take the initiative to get our own happiness, why wait for an unknown answer?