A French troupe touring Germany will perform in a small town for three days. Mannheim and his friends were excited about this event, talking enthusiastically about Paris and praising Paris. However, the effect of Mannheim's praise is: Parisians are either making revolution or having fun. They are a group of absurd lunatics who have no time to be serious. Hearing this, Christophe began to look down on those dissolute French people and disdained their performances. However, he was a little tempted to watch the French translation of the play "Hamlet". When he was hesitating, Mannheim forced him to have a theater ticket in a very good box. Because he had to entertain uninvited guests at home, Mannheim had to reluctantly give away the theater tickets. It was originally meant to be given to someone else, but he happened to meet Christophe and gave it to him.
My mother didn’t want to go to the theater, and Christophe couldn’t think of anyone to ask to go with her, so he had to go alone. At the entrance of the theater, a girl who had not bought a ticket was so envious of others that she was reluctant to leave. She is of medium height, wears simple black clothes, and has a thin and delicate face. Christophe invited her somewhat presumptuously, but the girl declined repeatedly. Finally, seeing how kind and frank he looked, she immediately accepted his hospitality.
The box is in the center of the theater, without any concealment. The girl sat upright, too embarrassed to even turn her head. Others stared at them with explicit eyes, making a fuss and talking about them. The girl was so ashamed that Christophe stopped talking to her and watched the play separately.
The person who plays Hamlet is the leading actress in the troupe, and her voice makes Christopher furious. But the voice of the unknown actress who played Ophelia shocked him. He was fascinated by that magical sound, pure, warm and mellow. Each word is like a beautiful chord. The actress is very lively, tall, strong, and graceful. She is a beautiful girl.
During the intermission, he noticed again the girl he had just met by chance a few hours before him, such a reserved girl. It turns out that she is French and came here to work as a tutor. He communicated with her only briefly and absent-mindedly, partly because the people in the next box overheard them, and partly because his mind was occupied with the image of Ophelia. In the next few scenes, he is completely captured. Her singing made Christopher so thrilling that he almost burst into tears. He escaped and walked out of the box, the sadness and joy of the play sinking in his heart. When he got home, he completely forgot about the girl left in the box, and he didn't even know her name.
He visits Ophelia in a third-class hotel. In the messy small living room, the leftover breakfast and hairpins were placed on the open piano. The instrument was dirty and tattered. Christophe heard her voice before he saw her. She was chattering in the next room, shouting and singing without any scruples. She is unrestrained, has no formalities, and is familiar with herself. Smart and lively, can say whatever he thinks, straightforward. The movements and attitude are very natural, not artificial or pretentious. Talented, uneducated, a southern woman with a very civilian air. When they met for the first time, both of them were very fresh and had endless things to say. Gaolina was her name in the troupe.
In subsequent contacts, Christopher was surprised by Gao Lina's extremely high talent for music appreciation.
Shopping with Gao Lina is a relaxing and pleasant thing. In the eyes of this playful and lively French woman, there are too many interesting things. It’s funny to see the wax heads in the barber shop. The various funny pictures in the picture shop made me laugh even more. Sarcastic and funny things about people on the street that make people laugh. There are always so many things that make her happy. Just tear the caught skirt directly.
Paris and the French people introduced by Gao Lina: everyone is free, everyone is smart, does not interfere with others, and is not subject to interference by others. The French are heroic, generous, kind and simple. Christopher was entranced by what he heard. Although the two were very happy together, Christopher would not cooperate with Gao Lina's flirting. Because he only had warm friendship with Gao Lina. He who takes everything seriously will not play love games without love.
After making a special trip to Frankfurt to watch Galina's last performance in Germany, Christophe hugged this sunny, simple and lively French girl goodbye.
Coincidentally, on the way home by train, he met again the shy French girl who accompanied him to watch "Hamlet". They were on two trains running in opposite directions, looking at each other through the double windows, their four eyes touching each other. Soon, the car started moving, and it was so close to the end of the world. Like two wandering planets, they came closer and then separated in the endless space.
This girl is shy and serious, while Gaolina is lively and open. Christophe sees France's dual personality. Thinking of this girl, he realized that she had left Germany and would never come back, which made him feel a little sad.
? Christophe invited the girl to the theater with good intentions, but he did something bad. The girl was dismissed from her job as a tutor because she was thought to be Christophe's mistress. Christopher thought he had harmed someone and was filled with regret. He vowed to find her.
Although she had little contact with Gao Lina, her impression was still fresh.
In addition, Gao Lina's pure and harmonious voice is like running water, and in harmony with the melody, her singing becomes freer and smoother. Christopher saw the beauty of a new art. He planned to write a piece of dramatic music for Galina to perform. This kind of art requires the coordinated efforts of poets, artists, and actors. But Christopher only knew music, and he had no confidence in poetry and drama. He could only close his eyes and accept the recommendations of those who he thought were better at poetry. He cared about music for himself, did not like or understand the poems chosen by others, and did not want to give up his own musical personality for the poems. The result of the rehearsal was predictable. His music and poems were not in harmony with each other, and he and the poet criticized each other. other side. The actors don't understand them all and just want to show off their own specialties. They and the music work independently, and they don't want to adapt to the mood and rhythm of the work. If it weren't for the fear of lawsuits, Christopher would have given up on the play. He was so disappointed.
Two days before the play was staged, he had a falling out with people from the magazine. Mannheim's trick of tampering with Christophe's text was exposed. Because the people he scolded thanked him again and again, which made him feel puzzled. Buy a magazine and find out what's going on, the mystery is revealed, and a nasty argument is inevitable. Since then, Christopher has severed ties with the magazine. He has lost what others thought was his voice, a weapon of self-defense.
The performance of the play was a complete failure, and people just criticized and ridiculed him happily, because he had no power to fight back. The only concern is the nominal official support of the Grand Duke behind him. But he had to destroy this last support himself.
Months of magazine comments, ruthless exposure, ridicule, and criticism of others made Christopher develop a bad habit of fighting back when attacked. He was now like an enraged bull, just charging forward with his eyes closed. Unwilling to be attacked by bad reviews, he went out alone, with his bare hands, and with such a huge disparity in strength that he would attack even with an egg against a stone. Articles slandering his opponents were rejected by two orthodox newspapers. He panicked and found a Socialist newspaper. Both he and his articles became very popular. As a result, the thrown shell seriously injured himself.
Put aside all your worries and go for a walk in the countryside. The spring music of nature, the most beautiful of all music, is being performed. The whispering forest sings a wonderful song, and the beautiful tune in your heart also follows. It jumps and jumps like a fish in the water. Christopher returned home on the wings of music, and a letter sent by the prince was waiting for him.
When he arrived at the Duke's mansion, he was greeted by the Duke's stern rebuke. It turned out that the Socialist newspaper often attacked and insulted the Duke, but Christophe did not know the reason and actually wrote articles for the newspaper that was causing trouble with the Duke. Facing the Duke's wrath, he turned blue, burst out with shame and anger, quarreled fiercely, complained about his rights and freedoms, and was so angry that he became incoherent and lost consciousness. Finally, he was driven out of the palace gate forever.
? The superior Duke, whom he had relied on for many years, kicked him to the ground. Humiliation and helplessness made him unable to breathe. He was trembling and shaking, and could not take off his clothes. He was trapped in the house alone all day and night: he was hot and cold, shivering all over, and cried several times. He got up impulsively and wanted to kill the Grand Duke. Hatred and shame tortured him, and his body and mind were on fire. The storm is raging inside, but outside it is silent and calm. Knocked out teeth and swallowed blood.
Christopher, who was seriously injured, was still naive and reckless. The editor of the Socialist newspaper came to him to find out more details about his affair with the Duke. He thought that people came here to comfort and sympathize with him, and he really judged the villain's belly with a gentleman's heart. After pouring out all his thoughts to the editor, he realized that he was going to add fuel to the flames of his relationship with the Duke and write a shocking article. Even though he and the Duke had broken up, he would never stab anyone in the back. As a result, begging the editor not to write it is just a waste of words. The article was despicable and fierce, scolding the Grand Duke and the court thoroughly. Because the article is based on his exclusive newspaper information, it is reasonable to regard it as his handwriting. When he denounced the behavior of reporters, denied what the article said, and broke up with them, he, the "slave", was ridiculed and ridiculed.
Christopher, who was alone, fell into the water. People who had been slandered and criticized by him in the past were trying their best to push him under the water. The critics, who can control people's lives, spared no effort to slander his symphony, his art, and his comments. His work was rejected and returned. The most embarrassing blow came from a conductor named Euphrates. This gentleman who had been slandered by Christopher expressed his willingness to perform his works. He was really touched by his generosity. However, what came out of the audition was a nameless, formless chaos. The band's vulgar playing fully demonstrates the absurdity of the work. The crowd in the audience finally laughed. Conductor Uvratt spared no time and effort to set up a trap, troubled the entire orchestra, and vilified Christophe's work. Then he let the public judge the tampered work, and used the crowd's boos and boos to insult Christophe's work. Dove's shocking effect. What a thoughtful and patient conductor.
He was so angry that he roared loudly, like a madman.
I don’t understand why people with so many different opinions united to insult him, oppress him, distort and slander his thoughts, turn him into a clown and try to control his death. He cried loudly, feeling that he was finished. He wanted to commit suicide by drowning.
It’s the time of year, but there are so many beautiful melodies of life lingering in my ears and heart: the singing of birds on the branches; the whispering of water; the rustling of wheat straw, the rustling of poplars; the scattering of bees The fragrant music; the angelic little girl sitting on the edge of the wall fantasizing. The peace and joy of these creatures infected him, and he smiled with great joy. Soaked in the beauty and warmth of life, he reached reconciliation with himself. Let go of human ugliness. No matter what, even if he suffers, he will embrace life, love life, and will not be separated from it.
Surrounded by so much darkness, ugliness and hypocrisy of people, Christopher felt a deep sense of frustration in his sincere and magnanimous heart. After he was almost knocked to the ground, he finally woke up from a dream and realized that he could not be the savior. His naive desire to correct people's prejudices and stupidity was just a delusion like a fly shaking a tree. He was so impulsive and enthusiastic that he calmed down a bit and mustered up the courage to work again. Away from people who are disgusted with each other, and no longer bound by the palace, he can rest assured in this isolated freedom to realize his career. He realizes that "they can't make me less of who I am." Self-awareness begins to really sprout. Only by being able to recognize the relationship between oneself and others and having spiritual introspection can one grow into an independent and strong person.
Mom Louisa agreed with him. She has no ambitions and doesn't care about her son's success, nor does she want her son to gain fame and wealth at the expense of pain.
When you immerse yourself in creation wholeheartedly and have work to do, there will be no place for pain in your heart. When the old work is finished and the new work has not yet sprouted in his heart, he will look around again, looking around. How can it be so easy to escape from troubles and pains? People always fantasize and hope that the next node will no longer cause pain. As a result, when you reach the next node, new troubles are still waiting for you, and you are full of fantasies about the next node. Christopher is still at the age of fantasy, so how can he truly understand himself? He is full of vitality and tenacity, so how could he become a recluse and just be content with playing with his own works? The things that grew out of his life oppressed him as long as they were not printed, played, or could survive independently. They wanted to break away from him, to travel around the world on the wind like living seeds. He wanted to find a way to liberate these intellectual babies of his.
The only way out of performing is to find a way to publish the work. Being clumsy in asking for help and unwilling to look at people's faces, he couldn't find a publisher, so he borrowed money to print it himself, insisting on going his own way regardless of the fact that his current source of income was cut off. Christopher is a type of person who lives far away from the ground and lives in the clouds. In the utopia of music and art, they are talented and at ease. But when faced with real life, they are as helpless as idiots. But without the support of real life, how can we realize our career ideals?
What was presented to the public was a batch of works that were the most personal and that he valued most. The connection between the piano pieces is very natural, creating a group of sad or happy impressions. They describe his moods throughout the day, reflect the free movements of his mind, and his inner dreams. Therefore, he titled the collection: "One Day".
In addition to these works, I also selected thirty songs, which I like the most and the people dislike the most. The lyrics of the song are based on the works of seventeenth-century Silesian poets.
The poet Paul Fleming was a wanderer. After all kinds of suffering, he still retained a pure, compassionate and peaceful soul. His love poems are as soft as flowers, like the dancing stars, the dance of a clear and joyful heart.
The genius John Gunter was depressed and miserable, indulged in wine and sex, and pretended to be cynical. His poetry is a cry of challenge against oppression, a furious curse of a trapped giant, a cry that sends thunder and lightning back to heaven.
Paul Gerhardt's optimistic atmosphere gives people a kind of rest after sorrow.
? He just publishes his favorite works for himself, without thinking about how to please the public, and there is almost no sales issue in his mind.
The score was printed. The publisher's capabilities are insufficient, publication is delayed, expenses exceed budget, and marketing is poor. And Christopher said that good works themselves are advertisements. He is so wishful thinking. In this way, none of them were sold in six months, and they were kept well at the end of the hotel.
Christopher, who was in a mess financially, found his life was stretched again. Now he is like an outcast of the public, with no students to teach.
Bow down to life. He found a teaching position at a somewhat religious school. The shrewd principal was kind-hearted and gave a very low salary to Christopher, who had no official title.
He is willing to be honest with others and work seriously. If he is perfunctory and confused, it will be a kind of pain for him. He wants children to know and love pure music, and the school just wants parents to think that their children can do music, and students to think that they can do music. The task given to him by the school is to teach children to sing on stage in various ceremonies.
A creative musician wants to accommodate an ignorant elementary school student. He lacks the patience. Facing a student who is as stupid as a donkey, or teaching students a boring chorus over and over again, there is only anger and pain in my heart. But for a living, you can only endure it.
Christopher doesn't know what he means and what he means. He felt that other than caring about his own profession, his colleagues in other worlds were narrow-minded and had nothing to say to them. Visiting them was almost unbearable, so I only managed to visit two colleagues. They were dissatisfied with him, felt insulted, despised him in their hearts, and thought he was totally incompetent. They both don't accept each other.
Christopher tries to avoid being around his colleagues. There is no way to avoid the reception held by the principal once a month. He was bored to death, listening to the teaching methods and cooking secrets of his colleagues and their wives. However, at this party, he met a similar person, a young woman who was ignored by everyone. She was Lili Lehart, the wife of the teacher Lehart. She has a straightforward personality, casual attitude and actions, and always has an innocent smile. He doesn't know how to read people's words. He often says things regardless of the occasion. He is teased behind his back and makes many enemies. She also dreaded the drudgery of visiting colleagues. She and Christopher hit it off. Her husband is extremely ugly, but gentle and courteous. The couple is very much in love and has only been married for a few months. Although they are not very smart, they are all honest and diligent good people. The lonely Christopher was delighted to meet them. They invited him to their home the night they met. They talked about the French. Coincidentally, one of Lili Lehardt's close friends, Antoinette Jennan, a French girl, was exactly the shy and shy girl who had been invited by Christophe to the theater box. The girl who once looked at each other through the two-story train window with Christopher and then left in the blink of an eye. Christophe learned that this girl had only one relative, her younger brother, and she came to Germany to work as a tutor in order to subsidize his younger brother's tuition. Lili doesn't know what will happen after she returns to France. Christopher seemed to see that sad face disappearing in the dark night again.
Two French girls who passed through his life suddenly, the actress Gao Lina and Lili's French good friend, left him a French mystery. Lili told him many things about France and promised him that he could take a look at their French library. He could get a glimpse of the France that he wanted to know but knew nothing about. He was as happy as if he had found a treasure.
Opening this small French book, Christophe walked into France. He visited many first-class celebrities, such as Hugo, Voltaire, Rousseau, etc., as well as many unknown and unknown writers. Wandering in the garden of poetry, he did not distinguish between things, and then walked into the green grassland of prose. He didn't know much French, and he felt a little dizzy and confused. However, in this chaos, there are also some flickering lights, touching swords, and evil and stern words. He realized the free and easy spirit of the French, who dared to accuse themselves and praise their enemies. Writers despise everything and are unkind to everything. Molière showed no mercy to anything. La Fontaine laughed at everything. Boileau scolded the nobleman. Voltaire denounced war, insulted religion, and made fun of his country. Ethicists, writers, those who write satirical articles, those who write abusive articles, all laugh and curse without scruples. He felt the arrogance of the French and their willingness to commit crimes. Although French novels are light and happy, the strong and rough flavor of the Revolution can be heard from the books from time to time.
Christopher studied hard day and night. Understandably or not, he swallowed all the messy stuff. He and Lehart and his wife, three real Germans, were also divided into two groups: pro-French and pro-German.
? Christopher often went to the new friends' house to chat, eat, and walk with them. Lili Lehat cooked good meals for him and gave him a cake to celebrate his birthday. The sincere couple even sold Christopher a songbook without telling him. The two of them were quietly saddened and disappointed by society's indifference to the songbook, but they did not tell him because they were afraid that it would increase his pain. But their efforts were not in vain. Christopher's songbook has taken small steps into the hearts of a few people, but it has not given him a reply signal. However, three months after Lehardt sent the album, Christophe received a letter signed by Dr. Peter Suze, a university professor and music instructor, who politely and warmly expressed the impact of the song album. He was moved. The three of them read the letter together and were happy. But when he saw the doctor comparing his song to Brahms' song, Christophe became angry again. In the end, I only replied coldly and reluctantly. Soon, the incident passed.
Christopher was grateful to his two friends, but had no other talents, so he played the piano for them for several hours. Occasionally, I would play tricks on two friends who did not understand music, and they would giggle together. In their eyes, Christopher was honest, a little crazy, sincere and energetic. No matter what others say, they judge with their own minds that Christopher is a big boy who doesn't understand the world and suffered the disadvantage of being honest.
Christopher felt sad knowing that his two new friends would never understand his deepest side. But now he is no longer as demanding as before. He was grateful enough for their love for him. Thinking of how harshly I treated the disgusting but kind-hearted Yu Lai family in the past, I couldn't help but feel regretful and funny at the same time.
He hopes to have a friend who understands him and has a heart-to-heart relationship with him, but he also knows that this is the hardest thing to achieve. Think about those great souls. Even when they are in war, their families are destroyed, their country is destroyed, and the entire nation is disheartened, they still have hope in their hearts. They write for themselves and their beliefs, and they do not ask people to really understand them. Thinking about it this way, he liked the simple and kind-hearted Lehart couple even more.
Christopher, who has been defeated, is now just living in a corner without disturbing others. But the boring people in the small town did not forget him. Seeing him so happy with his new friends made them unhappy. It was the most abominable provocation for Mrs. Lehart to openly befriend Christophe, regardless of the public opinion of the whole city.
As a result, hidden arrows left the string one after another. Anonymous letters came to them one after another, despicably saying that Christophe was Mrs. Lehart's lover. At first, they each hid aside and felt uncomfortable, not daring to speak. The obscenely worded anonymous letters kept coming, and the pain was unbearable. After speaking out, I found out that all three of them were involved. Even so, there is a shadow in my heart. Knowing that someone is doing harm, I shouldn't be suspicious but I can't help but be suspicious. Their friendship was affected and their relationship became awkward and unsustainable. Had to break up.
The boring people in the city can be proud. This time Christopher was really alone.
Mom said:
Christopher became a loner. One might say that he brought it upon himself.
Let’s look at him who has a straightforward and frank temperament. He is reckless and impulsive, cannot hold back, cannot be tactful, does not know how to use methods, does not know his own abilities, is brave and reckless..., there are countless shortcomings and shortcomings. It is really self-destructive and cannot blame others.
What if he is as clever and forbearing as people hope? He doesn't know how to act when the situation arises, he can't follow every step, and he has to at least keep silent, so that he might not be regarded as an alien, and thus not attract so much attack and hostility. But how should he express his thoughts, opinions, and creations? When will it show? Can it still be shown?
Different from habits and traditional sounds, they are different whenever they are made. People’s temporary sideways glances and rejection seem inevitable. That being the case, if you are not trying to be innovative and sensational for the sake of being different, but are exploring down-to-earth in your own field and discovering unique scenery, you should be brave enough to speak out. In the vast desert, people looking for the water source of the Oasis are moving forward with the Oasis behind their backs. However, you have the unique insight to know where the Oasis is. Even if you are a nobody, you must not be afraid of people's doubts and scolding, and argue with reason. Tell people the truth. If you see a herd of people heading toward a cliff, don’t hesitate to speak out. Facing people who are confused in the darkness looking for light and have no idea where to go, if you know where the light is, you have to take responsibility and speak out. People's distrustful eyes, suspicion, and harsh criticism cannot make you shrink back.
The leading geese of human civilization, large and small, lead people to break away from ignorance, walk out of darkness and indifference, and come to the prosperous and beautiful land of light and warmth. On the road of moving forward without hesitation, they continue to enjoy the courtesy received by people: hostility, insults, insults, attacks, torture, and even torture. They rise from the ashes.
How can one emerge from the cocoon and become a butterfly if he cannot bear the pain?
Mannheim's trick made Christoph furious. Being kicked out of the house by the Duke, he fell into the abyss. The revenge and humiliation of Commander Yu Flatt made him so desperate that he wanted to commit suicide. These hit his nerves like a violent storm, almost causing him to collapse.
Surrender to life unconditionally in order to make a living. The boring teaching tortured him unspeakably. He was annoyed by the boredom, tackiness and closed-mindedness of his colleagues. He regrets that the friendly Lehart couple have mediocre minds and cannot understand their deepest side. Boring people made excuses to insult and blaspheme his friendship, taking away the only warmth in his heart. The trivial unpleasantness in life wears him away like pebbles in shoes every day.
How many people have been affected by this drop of water, and have become numb and unconscious like frogs boiled in warm water. They have become unhappy for no reason, and have become complaining all day long, complaining about everything. The image of a woman is submerged in the mundanity of life.
The strong wind knows the strong grass,
The ordinary sees the extraordinary.
2020.08.05