Shaking hands is a sign of respect. A simple handshake sometimes makes others feel "like a spring breeze man".
In terms of communication etiquette, shaking hands has an important etiquette problem, that is, the order of reaching out.
Etiquette is the code of conduct in interpersonal communication. Therefore, in more formal occasions, it is standardized to shake hands with the person who reaches out first. The probability of two people reaching out at the same time is not high, there is always an initiator. Of course, as ourselves, sometimes we should not take others too seriously. If someone reaches out first without knowing the standard etiquette, you don't have to put on airs if you want to cooperate with others. People who really understand social etiquette still emphasize the basic principles of equality and respect. On etiquette, equality and respect are more important than norms, but only when everyone understands etiquette can etiquette play a more elegant role.
In general communication and entertainment, the standard handshake sequence should be:
(1) People with high status reach out first;
(2) When a man shakes hands with a woman, the woman should reach out first, and the woman has the right to choose whether to have further contact;
(3) When the younger generation shakes hands with the elder, the elder should reach out first;
(4) When the superior shakes hands with the subordinate, the superior should reach out first;
(5) When teachers shake hands with students, teachers should reach out first.
In formal business occasions, the highest person should reach out first. The above five points are completely suitable for formal occasions, but their identities are different. For example, the woman is a public relations manager and the man is the chairman. The woman's position is obviously lower than that of the man. Business communication between the two units means that the position of chairman is high, and the chairman must reach out first. However, in general social occasions, regardless of the position, women are still preferred. We play together, and we don't talk about positions or titles. So in etiquette, women's status is higher than men's, so women should reach out first.
In addition to occasions, shaking hands is also very special. The most important performance is that the host shakes hands with the guests when receiving them at home or at work. The general rule is:
(1) When the guest arrives, the host reaches out first. The host first extends his hand to show his welcome to the guests (for example, if the guests visit, the host does not extend his hand to show that he does not take the guests seriously. );
(2) When the guests leave. The guest reaches out first. (For example, when visiting someone's office at noon, the guest will hold out his hand first to indicate that the host please stay, and the host will also hold out his hand first to indicate that the guest is leaving, so don't muddle along. )
The order in which individuals and groups shake hands.
1, from respect to inferiority: if the people present come from a unit or a family, it is easy to distinguish status. Handshakes are arranged in descending order from the person with high status.
2, from near to far: there are four or five people around, or line up at the entrance of the banquet hall, and the leaders line up to meet the guests. You can't jump over, but reach out and shake hands with the nearest person. The group shakes hands with individuals. If individuals don't reach out, the comrades in the group can't reach out first. (Example: An individual goes to the company to give a report, and the host sends a driver and a female office director to pick him up by car. One should shake hands with the lady first, but the driver reaches out first, which makes one feel embarrassed. )
3, clockwise: around a round table, or sitting in the living room, surrounded by people, the standardization of handshake is that the host shakes hands with the right-handed person (the right-handed person is usually the guest of honor), and then moves clockwise. Moving clockwise is a more auspicious direction in the world. Generally speaking, people don't like to walk counterclockwise in social occasions, except for sports meeting admission or parking in the hotel lobby (traffic regulations require), memorial service or farewell to the body.
In handshake etiquette, the position of the hand is also particular, that is, the extension of the hand.
Under normal circumstances, the standard hand position should be that the palm is vertical to the ground, and whether the palm is down or up is taboo and undesirable:
1, palm down: palm down gives people a sense of arrogance, thinking that they are big shots and "look down on all beings". Palm down will only be seen when the traffic police direct traffic.
2. Palm up: Under normal circumstances, palm up indicates humility. But it is best not to stretch at ordinary times, otherwise it will become "begging".
Holding each other's hands at the same time is called "glove handshake" or "diplomat handshake" in professional terms. Outsiders don't talk like this, especially to the opposite sex, unless acquaintances express reunion of old friends, serious condolences or warm congratulations. Generally speaking, we hold each other's hands with one hand, and the palms hold each other's palms, not their wrists, unless they don't have palms, but don't just hold each other's fingers.
It is also etiquette to shake hands with the right strength and time.
Shake hands with anyone, time is very important. For example, it is disrespectful for a man who doesn't know much about manners to hold a lady's hand for a long time.
Generally speaking, shaking hands with others should not be too short or too long. The so-called "too much is too late." Generally, it is best to shake hands with people for three or five seconds, and of course, don't run away at the touch.
The best way to shake hands is to use a little force, but not too hard. Some people shake hands hard on purpose to show enthusiasm. In fact, the weakness of shaking hands is indeed a sign of lack of enthusiasm, but the natural power of shaking hands by oneself can actually be detected from his appearance, personality and natural performance. Too deliberate handshake is easy to be detected. This kind of strength will not give "enthusiasm" extra points, but will reduce some rudeness (such as some expressions similar to excessive excitement).
Several basic taboos when shaking hands:
1, the most important taboo, absent-minded: don't look at each other, or even chat with the people next to you. An absent-minded handshake is better than no handshake.
2. Unless you don't have a right hand, you must extend your left hand: shake hands in general, especially with foreigners, such as New Matai, Muslim areas and Indians. The left and right hands often have their own division of labor, and only the right hand exercises etiquette; In addition, in English culture, "right" is superior and a good position; And "left" is a lower position, which is a bad position.
3. Wear gloves when shaking hands: This is an international practice, and only tulle gloves worn by women in social situations can be removed. In addition, gloves that are generally used to keep out the cold must be chosen.
In international communication, especially when going to western countries, we should avoid the so-called "cross handshake" when shaking hands.