Son, I'm over sixty, and you're over thirty. At this time, you are as young and as warm-blooded as I am. And I, your father, am getting old day by day, with gray hair and mental decline. Old age, less sleep, longer nights, thinking and thinking. I have a lot to say to you, but my mouth is not good. I have to express it in words. Maybe I can express one or two. This passage is not only what a father wants to say to his son, but also what a man wants to say to another man.
Actually, I can communicate with you without this way, but I can't. Many times, I can't communicate with my father and son equally, harmoniously and deeply like others, like brothers and friends. I can't do this, maybe it's my problem.
Anyway, the reason why I wrote this article, which triggered my thinking, was a song, which I accidentally found on the Internet. The title of the song is "You raised me and I grew old with you". It is a duet between men and women, and the singer is Li Guyi/Xu Ziwei. This song touched me deeply. This is a deep dialogue between mother and son, and also between parents and children all over the world. This feeling and love are expressed in the form of art.
Although the song is long, I would like to quote it in full.
Woman: I was blessed when I gave birth to you./You made me cry and couldn't sleep well./I stayed up all night./You grew taller every day./You carried your schoolbag./I touched your head and smiled.
M: Actually, I'm not that good/rebellious and full of complaints/but I'm still a treasure in your eyes/until one day my wings hardened/I was carrying a backpack/you patted me on the shoulder and smiled.
Woman: I raised you/you grew old with me/the satisfaction of companionship is not something that money can buy.
M: You brought me up/but I can't make you old/naive/try to make you proud even if you do well.
M: I didn't understand the old saying until I had my Bao Er.
W: I don't know my parents' interests if I don't adopt children/I don't want anything in return for this job.
Man: Your unyielding waist/support smiled happily.
Woman: I raised you/you grew old with me.
Man: But I can't stop you from getting old.
I (you) said don't worry/as long as you (I) are good/we (you) are good.
You raised me/I grew old with you.
W: Time has been running/chasing your goal.
Woman: I raised you.
M: I hope I can keep you from getting old/please run slowly/give me a chance to be filial.
Woman: I raised you.
Man: You raised me.
Woman: You grow old with me.
M: I will grow old with you.
Woman: A long way to go/You are me.
Man: You are me.
He: the most precious wealth.
Parents' selfless dedication to their children, and children will never forget the kindness raised by their parents, is an ancient proposition in our eastern countries. Perhaps the East and the West have different views and even different practices on this issue. However, the traditional virtues of the Chinese nation can be passed down for thousands of years, which has a lot to do with this. It is also a ray of warm sunshine in a world that worships material and money more and more and is increasingly indifferent. You have studied abroad, so you can compare eastern and western cultures. But in any case, most China people agree with this statement and practice in their bones.
Son, as the lyrics say, you are our most precious wealth. You were born at 2: 35 am in the autumn harvest season. The hospital sent us a "baby" growth record book. The first page you opened was covered with bright red footprints, which were your first footprints in this world.
Your mother personally wrote a paragraph on your birth record: you were born at 2: 35. Mom is lying on the delivery bed tired. How much she wants to see your face, but the only thing she can see is your high nose. She wants to be like your father. At this point, you sleep peacefully on the scale, don't cry, very quiet. About four hours later, the nurse sent you to our side. You open your eyes and seem to be looking at your parents. We are so excited to finally meet our children! But you know, just born, you are like an ugly duckling, with slender eyes, a big mouth and wrinkles on your eyebrows. You are such a little old man.
You know, son, in order to welcome your birth, your mother is actually the hardest. I won't elaborate on what I suffered when I was pregnant in October. Just talking about the labor pains before delivery is not something that ordinary people can bear. I specifically checked the information, what is labor pains before delivery? Generally, the pain lasts for 30 seconds with an interval of ten minutes. Later, the pain time gradually prolonged and the interval shortened, which was called regular labor pains. It hurts every three minutes on the eve of delivery.
Son, how painful that is. Dad only knows that on the eve of your birth, in the dead of night, I stood in front of the delivery room and heard your mother's voice. It was really unbearable pain. At this time, I really want to rush in and come to your mother's side to protect her, comfort her and share even a little pain for her. However, I can't do this. The hospital has regulations that there are other expectant mothers in the delivery room.
Then I realized that "mom is great" is by no means empty talk.
Do you know, son, for decades, your mother and I have shared joys and sorrows, and one of the important reasons for supporting this family today is that I will never forget the way you frowned when I heard your mother's voice before the delivery room and saw the nurse take you out. Only at this time, only at this time, did I realize my responsibility as a husband and a father. I have a responsibility to protect you, and I have a responsibility to make our little family happy. It is this sense of responsibility that makes me grow from weak to strong and grow with you.
The family where I was born is a big family. I have three brothers and two younger brothers. My parents are both workers, my mother can't read, and my father went to night school for two years to know some words. At that time, parents' wages were low and they could barely support their families. My parents, your grandparents, though uneducated, always guide us with simple truth and influence us with the power of example. Although it failed to make us live a rich life, it gave us the warmest and warmest love in the world. At that time, although life was hard, my parents loved each other and my brothers lived in harmony, which kept me happy as a teenager. My small achievements today are also the result of the education and influence of your grandparents and the guidance and influence of excellent family style.
It's just that when I was young, the word responsibility was still vague, or there was no such concept at all. Because I have a sensible father, a hardworking mother and three sensible and capable brothers, it is never my turn to worry about big and small things at home (note: this is mentioned in my article, such as my father, my mother and my brother). I am too weak to shelter from the wind and rain under the big tree. I am not only sick, but also a bookworm, and I often have to worry about my family.
Now, I have to shoulder the burden of this small family. Not only am I unsure, but my parents and brothers are also secretly worried about me.
Son, your birth brought joy to our small family, but it also brought an unprecedented test to my incompetent father. I used to sleep until dawn when it thundered. Your crying in the middle of the night woke up your mother and me. Often after a busy period of time, just after a sleep, you wake up hungry, and I have to get up again and rush to make milk powder for you. Later, your mother told me that in fact, many times she couldn't bear to wake me up, so she took it on her own.
At that time, I just graduated from TV University and was assigned to the production and operation section of the factory to fill in the production progress report. Due to a serious lack of sleep, I filled out the report in a mess and was criticized by the section chief several times.
Later, I learned that you lost a lot of nutrition because of hypoplasia and pleural effusion shortly after birth. Because of a large amount of effusion, the doctor installed a drainage tube on your small chest, which is why you are always awakened by hunger and pain at night. We took you to the local hospital and then transferred you to the district hospital for treatment for half a year. In this unforgettable 100 days and nights, as your body develops day by day, relying on your tenacious vitality, relying on our unremitting persistence and relay treatment in the hospital, you finally recovered completely.
Son, the period from your birth to your second birthday is our most difficult period. At this time, it was our big family that extended a helping hand. When you were born, grandpa asked five uncles and six uncles to help. One was responsible for taking food, the other was helping, and the family also bought milk powder and baby products. Your mother's delivery was spent at her grandparents' house. When you need to be transferred to another hospital when you are sick, it is the district hospital that my uncle contacted. After your recovery, your uncle paid for a nanny, and your uncle often bought nutrition to visit.
The help of our family helped us through the difficulties. However, the help of family members is not a long-term solution, and ultimately it is up to you. Only when we become stronger can we support this family. In this most difficult period, your mother and I went from workers to national cadres. Your mother took the national unified examination by self-study and was admitted to accounting. I was admitted to the municipal government by my own efforts. As you grow, so do we.
God is always fair, giving us hardships and giving us a clever and lovely son. Your birth and growth bring us more joy.
I don't know when we discovered one of your secrets. There is a small tape recorder at home, which is your favorite toy. You play with it every day. You put boxes of tapes in and take them out. The cover of the tape box was torn off by naughty you, so that we couldn't find the song we wanted to listen to when we came back from work, and we were so angry that we wanted to hit you. But when I was angry, you said to me in a childish voice, Dad, I'll find you any song you want to listen to. I tried to name this song, and then a miracle happened. I saw you dig out a box in a pile of tape boxes, skillfully put it in the tape player, rewind it, rewind it and rewind it again, and repeated it several times. It turned out to be that song.
God, how is that possible? Your mother and I were surprised to find that our son has an extraordinary memory.
Speaking of which, son, mom is your first teacher. Before you can talk or walk, she will tell you fairy tales, listen to music and tell you some truths that I don't think babies can understand at all. After you can talk and walk, she will show you around as soon as she has time. At that time, your thirst for knowledge was particularly strong, and you kept asking about things in heaven and earth. Your mother always gives you answers patiently. If you don't understand something, go to read a book or ask someone else. At that time, the most comprehensive book bought by our family was "100,000 Why", and the most bought was children's books. Next, I will teach you to recite ancient poems and count numbers. I can recite dozens of ancient poems at a young age, and I can add and subtract double digits, which surprised everyone at our big family party.
Son, at that time, you had an indomitable spirit. You work out the arithmetic problems assigned by your mother over and over again, and don't eat until all of them are correct. I will teach you to play chess. After you know, I won't stop until you win. Sometimes I have to pretend to lose to you, because I am so obsessed with you.
Since childhood, your study has never bothered us. From elementary school to junior high school, your academic performance has been among the best in your class. When you graduated from junior high school, you were in the top 20 of your grade and were sent to a local model middle school in the whole region.
There is only one exception: after high school, you have a wide range of interests. Besides football, I also like computers and participate in class activities. However, after entering high school, your academic performance is slowly declining, from the top of your class to more than twenty in senior three. We are in a hurry, uncharacteristically, you are urged to review your lessons as soon as school is over, and talk more about learning and ranking than before, so that you are not so upset. Until once at the dinner table, your mother and I scolded you sentence by sentence, and you finally broke out, leaving the sentence "I don't want to learn yet". We were frightened by you. After we calmed down, we talked to you. You talked about your dissatisfaction with exam-oriented education and anxiety about ranking. From then on, your mother and I decided to take advantage of the situation and let nature take its course. Of course, your strength is still good, and you have been admitted to a fairly good local university, although it is not a key university.
Son, I always talk about you. In fact, every change you make, every progress you make, and your growth bit by bit are all remembered by your mother and me.
My mother always said that I like to attend the parent-teacher conference held by your school best. Yes, I will attend the parent-teacher conference from kindergarten until you graduate from high school. Except for unavoidable business trips and official duties, I won't miss it every time.
Son, do you know why I like attending parent-teacher conferences? That's every opportunity to get to know you through school and teachers, and that's every opportunity to have face-to-face contact with teachers. Every time I attend a parent-teacher conference, I sit as a primary school student. I will listen to what the head teacher or other teachers say, and I will take notes on the key points. After the parent-teacher conference, I will stay and find opportunities to communicate with the head teacher or classroom teacher, listen to their suggestions and exchange my views.
I am most happy that the head teacher praised you at a parent-teacher meeting of junior middle school classes. She said that once, several male students were playing football on the school playground, and a group of female students were playing. A female classmate accidentally knocked you down while you were running, and you were seriously injured. A male classmate rushed up to hit her, but you just got up from the ground and stopped him, without saying anything, and continued to play football. This incident makes us proud. You are a kind and generous child.
One more thing, we didn't tell you. After a parent-teacher meeting in high school, the class teacher asked me to stay and told me a situation you met. For a while, you and a girl in your class always waited for each other to leave after school, which seemed very close. After returning home, your mother and I discussed it for a long time, thinking that we should not make a fuss and just pay attention to observation. We told the class teacher the opinions after the discussion, and asked her to keep them secret, so as not to misunderstand and hurt the children. Later facts proved that you didn't have puppy love, and our decision was right. Under the careful care of us and our teachers, you successfully passed through adolescence. In fact, on the road of life, it is those steps that matter. If you go right, you can go smoothly, and if you go wrong, you will have to take many detours.
Son, in a blink of an eye, you have grown up, just like a seedling, thriving under the sunshine and rain. I remember that year, when you graduated from college, we sent you to study abroad. This is the first time for you to stay away from your hometown and parents and continue your studies in a strange country far from the ocean. At the entrance of the airport, when you waved goodbye to us, I burst into tears. Who says men don't cry easily, but they are embarrassed to cry in public? As a father, when I face my son who gets along with him day and night, even for a short time, my disappointment and worry are beyond words.
Speaking of sending you to study abroad, it's really a difficult decision. Studying abroad must cost a lot of money. Your mother and I are both working-class, obviously we can't afford it. The only way is to borrow money from relatives and friends. After careful discussion, your uncles agreed to borrow some money, and I also borrowed some money from my friends, taking out all our savings to make up for your study abroad expenses. Before leaving, my uncle had a long talk with you and told you earnestly to cherish this hard-won learning opportunity, not to live up to the expectations of the whole family, and to learn something.
It's like going through a recent visit and going back to childhood. At that time, my parents and your grandparents did just that. They also belong to the working class, and their wages are low, so it is more difficult to support a family of eight. The clothes that our six brothers wear are all small and old clothes. In winter, we have no money to buy sweaters and trousers. Grandma took down the old gauze gloves collected everywhere, washed them and knitted them into gauze clothes and pants for us to wear. There are few meat stars on the dining table at home. Grandma always leaves us better dishes, and she eats Chili sauce with rice. In order to maintain family life, grandma borrows money everywhere and is often looked down upon. It was under such difficult circumstances that my illiterate grandfather insisted on sending us all to school, leaving none, and told us to study hard and be useful people. Big Uncle and Second Uncle were admitted to the city's key middle schools with excellent results. Driven by them, our brothers all finished their studies as scheduled, laying the foundation for future work and employment. At that time, in the street outside the north gate where my home was located, the brothers' efforts to study hard were well known.
Son, what makes us happy is that you seem to be sensible overnight after studying abroad, and work hard to make money to reduce the burden on your family. But you went to the UK to study finance, and the postgraduate course was only a little over a year. Time is tight and it is difficult to learn. In order to ensure that you finish your studies on time, we don't let you go to work, but only ask you to pass every course once, which is equivalent to helping us earn wages. You studied hard abroad, including preparatory classes and graduate school, and didn't come home for two years. We didn't visit you abroad either, not because we didn't want to, but because family economic conditions really didn't allow it.
You know, son, in the past two years, your mother and I have been scrimping and saving, keeping the expenses at home very low. Your mother didn't even wear a decent dress to save money. In the past two years, we don't know how you got here. I just heard that you shared a house with your classmates in order to save some rent. You go to the supermarket to buy food and cook at home to save money. You know you do nothing at home. Besides, you have withstood the temptation to spend money in bars, and you shouldn't spend money indiscriminately.
In your studies, you have become extremely diligent. Compared with going to college in China, you seem to be a different person. Haha, our son is mature. Many things happen. As you wish, you got a master's degree certificate from a regular British university and a foreign student certificate from the Consulate General of China in Manchester, England, and returned after your studies. I'm glad to see your mother and I in you. We are even happier that you have lived up to your uncle's instructions and the expectations of the whole family, and made grandparents and uncles buried in the ground smile.
Son, after you came back from studying abroad, you successfully entered a central enterprise and worked in other places. Because of your busy work, you seldom go home. But as soon as you get home, my mother will make you a good meal, and I will also say a few words to you. Like many young people, you can't stay with us for a long time, because you have your career and your life, which is understandable.
We also know that you are a sensible and filial boy, but we still hope that you can spend more time with us, help your mother brush chopsticks and wash dishes, chat with us more, accompany us for a walk by the river, and accompany us to see a simple and boring movie, which may not take up too much time. As someone said, the most diligent people in the world are getting old, and we really cherish and look forward to your company. Besides, how much I hope you can inherit the good family style of our family, inherit the excellent moral character of the older generation, form good habits and support your future family on your own.
I remember when your grandfather was ill in hospital, he always wanted us to go to the hospital to see him. Sometimes if you don't go for a few days, you will curse. However, when we got to the hospital, we sat in front of his bed for a few minutes, and he waved us away again. I didn't understand him very well at that time. Later I learned that a person is the weakest and most helpless when he is sick, and he also knows what he needs and what he doesn't need. At this time, he does not need money and material things, but needs the care of his relatives, which is also the truth that education guides us to know how to be filial to the elderly. But he was worried that it would affect our work, so he wouldn't let us stay at his bedside for a long time. It was this ambivalence that made grandpa do something that seemed strange to us at that time.
In fact, grandpa was diagnosed with coronary heart disease when he retired, and went to the hospital once or twice a year. Every time he is in hospital, our brothers take turns to take care of him. Grandma died early, but grandpa didn't feel lonely. Because our children and grandchildren are filial, we put all our love for our mother on him, and grandpa is happy in his later years.
Son, maybe we will live a healthy life for many years, and we don't need your care and long-term companionship, let alone money and material rewards. However, we need a family to wait. Because you are our son and the closest person in the world. Your simple greetings and warm actions will be better than a thousand words, and will warm and support us for the rest of our lives.
Son, we are glad to learn that you are in love. We wish you all the best. Because we know that you did the most important thing at the right age. What I want to say here is that since we are in love, we should talk seriously, love sincerely, and be good to other girls and her family. If you finally choose your other half and join hands in the sacred marriage hall, you must create a new life together, do your duty as husband and father, and be filial to the elders of both sides. At the same time, I also hope that your other half, our future daughter-in-law, can be as sincere and kind as you, as my mother is to me, can control your stomach and your heart, and can work with you to build and protect this home like mom and dad.
Son, we may not be able to give you more help as you did when you were a child. Many problems and difficulties need to be faced and overcome by ourselves. The only thing we can do is to live a good life, stay healthy and try not to cause you any trouble.
Son, in this world, it is a great fate that father and son can meet, know each other and love each other. This kind of fate only exists in this life, and it is impossible in the next life. As written in the lyrics above, on the long road of life, you are our most precious wealth, and we are your closest people. There is no return ticket on the train of life, and we will grow old day by day. Maybe we will become old urchins like three-year-old children, maybe we can't take care of ourselves, maybe we will get off at some point in our lives. However, no matter what situation you are in, no matter where you are, it is enough to have a cordial greeting from you and a short and happy time with you. For the legendary swordsman, there is no regret in this life.
With all this chatter, the long night is almost over and the day is coming. Let's embrace a new day.