However, if you want to make the lyrics of a song, the rhythm is a bit single. Of course, it does not rule out that talented composers can adapt it into a well-known song.
You can learn from the Beatles' Let It Be.
As a song, you don't have to pursue the original. You can modify the rhythm of the lyrics appropriately, find a suitable song accompaniment, and then fill in the lyrics.
Just like Don't Hurt Me Again in Zheng Zhihua's Fly Like a Bird and Take Me to Your Heart in Jacky Cheung's Kiss Goodbye, it is as good as that.
I feel that your song is suitable for slow rhythm and slowly flows into people's hearts. Either do the opposite and change to a tight-paced rock style, but don't join rap, which will destroy the artistic conception of the whole song.