1. Don’t show your emotions casually
A person must learn to control his emotions and be calm in everything. Zhuge Liang's wife Huang during the Three Kingdoms period was a famous ugly girl in history. She was sallow and ugly, and no young men in the neighborhood were willing to marry her. However, although Huang is ugly, he is quite talented and has excellent moral character. One day, Huang's father Huang Chengyan saw Zhuge Liang and heard that he wanted to find a wife, so he said to him: "I heard that when you choose a wife, an ugly girl with yellow head and black face will be a good match." Unexpectedly, Zhuge Liang actually turned out to be a good match. Huang Chengyan, who valued talent over sex, asked for marriage immediately, so Huang Chengyan married his daughter to Zhuge Liang. Zhuge Liang has benefited a lot since he got Huang's virtuous helper. Later, he was awarded the title of Marquis and achieved great achievements. He couldn't help but rely on Huang's help. In dramas and paintings, Zhuge Liang always wears a bagua robe and holds a goose feather fan, as if he is strategizing and winning a thousand miles. Legend has it that the goose feather fan was a gift given to him by Huang. Zhuge Liang went out to assist Liu Bei. Before leaving, Huang made a fan with the wings of a roc given to her by her father. There were eight formations painted on the handle of the fan. She asked Zhuge Liang to carry it with her, not forgetting the love between husband and wife. The second is of great benefit to marching and fighting, and the third is to warn him to calm down. Huang said to Zhuge Liang: "When you and my father talked about world affairs, I found that when you talked about the ambitions in your heart, you became grandiose; when you talked about Mr. Liu Bei's intention to invite you to come out, your eyebrows lit up; when you talked about Cao Cao, you frowned deeply; When he mentioned Sun Quan, he felt worried. A man must be calm when doing things. I gave you this fan to cover your face." Zhuge Liang picked up the goose feather fan and shook it. Calm down quickly. Therefore, after Zhuge Liang left the thatched cottage, he never left his body without his bagua robe and his hand with his goose feather fan. It turns out that "covering one's face" means that one must first be able to keep one's breath, and then one can be calm and remain calm.
During the Tang Dynasty, Emperor Taizong Li Shimin would always go out for a walk after hearing Wei Zheng's advice. This was because he sensed that he was about to lose control of his emotions and tried to make himself "calm" so that he would not be overwhelmed by a sudden change. Out of anger, Wei Zheng was killed by mistake.
Sometimes, when we meet people who lose their temper, cry or act coquettishly, we may say that such people are very natural and sincere. This statement is actually conniving. People are different from animals. People should be rational and intellectual. Emotions cannot solve problems. Next, let’s take a look at a story about “Girls Don’t Cry”: In 2006, the 77-year-old Italian legendary female journalist Farage passed away. During her lifetime, she interviewed Deng Xiaoping twice. Part of her interview with Deng Xiaoping in 1980 was included in the "Selected Works of Deng Xiaoping", making her a household name in China. When Farage was 7 years old, her father beat her because of something, and she squatted in the corner and cried. Dad walked over and said something like this to her: "My child, if Dad is right to spank, what's the point of crying? Does crying mean grievance? No, you should study why you were spanked and how to stop being spanked in the future. . What’s the point of crying if your father hits you wrong? Does crying mean you don’t dare to defend yourself? Then you should tell your father that he hit you wrongly so that he won’t hit you by mistake again.” Farage learned this when he was 7 years old. Crying is a kind of helplessness, a kind of helplessness, and a kind of wrangling. It cannot solve the problem. The conclusion is not to cry. Therefore, from then on, she stopped crying. These words created a legend of "Girls Don't Cry" and were also recorded in her biography.
2. Don’t tell your difficulties and experiences to everyone
Many people like to tell others about the shortcomings of their company and leaders. I often hear such complaints: Our boss We are very stingy; our factory director asks us to work overtime all day long and does not pay us much overtime pay; our company's business has not been good recently, customers are returning goods, and I don't want to work anymore. If you have any opportunities, let me know right away... Many people have this problem. In fact, they don't understand that people who complain to everyone can't be used anywhere because people don't dare to use it!
Chen Wugang is a Taiwanese. He went bankrupt when he was 50 years old. He borrowed money everywhere and borrowed all the money he could. He was almost desperate. But his wife said: "Even though he is bankrupt and has no money in his pocket, my husband still wears a suit and tie, carries a briefcase, drives to work every day, like a chairman, and is not hit by frustration... ”
Even if you go bankrupt one day, don’t tell everyone about your pain and experiences. Even if the company door opens and there are only two people - one is you and the other is the cleaner, you have to be like Chen Wugang, wear a neat suit, make yourself a cup of coffee, and sit there to work like a chairman. Because people are very strange. If you live like a chairman, the opportunity will come soon. This was the case for Chen Wugang. Soon he had an opportunity, which was Christina, which opened the door to the direct selling industry.
It is not easy for ordinary people to survive until the age of 50, but Chen Wugang has the ambition to make a comeback and establish a direct selling business at the age of fifty. He has a very famous "spider theory": spiders will never attack casually before they have weaved a web. Spiders build webs in an orderly manner, first with longitude and then with latitude. Once the web is set up, the spider will be waiting for opportunities. Once any small prey touches the web, it can respond quickly.
3. Think before asking for other people’s opinions, but don’t speak first
A calm person leaves his own words to speak later, while an unstable person puts his own words to the front.
What’s the benefit of leaving the conversation for later when negotiating with your competitors or your customers? First, letting others speak first is a sign of respect for them; second, the person who speaks first will definitely have flaws and loopholes; third, when others speak, you can prepare your answers.
Let me give you a piece of advice: when negotiating and communicating, don’t say anything first. Impatient people like to speak first. They neither respect the customer nor speak the wrong words because they have no time to think, leaving a lot of flaws and loopholes. Once the other party fights back, there is little chance of winning. If you have something to say, let others speak first, and then fight back against the problems exposed by your competitors. This way, your chances of winning will be very high.
4. Don’t nag your dissatisfaction every chance you get.
Women like to talk about family. This is probably because of the different personalities of men and women: men are more concerned about career and money. Women are more interested in their husbands and children. Some women start talking about their family affairs as soon as they go to work, such as criticizing their children in front of others, telling about conflicts between themselves and their husbands or parents-in-law, etc. Not only will you not be respected, but you will become a laughing stock. Don't nag your dissatisfaction every chance you get. Because people who like to nag can easily be considered as unreliable people. Moreover, if you tell your misfortune, if you move forward, you may become the object of ridicule.
5. Try to consult with others on important decisions and release them at least overnight
Do not announce important decisions immediately. This is my own personal experience. Thinking of a past incident between my eldest daughter and I, I still feel a little heartbroken. My eldest daughter loves listening to jazz and has a collection of jazz CDs. Her mother and I also bought some for her. She wasn't there when I threw the CD away. When she found out, she rushed out and saw that the CD was gone. That night, she cried while doing her homework. I regretted it a bit and bought her a jazz CD a few days later: "This is a jazz CD that was just released. Listen to it." She smiled and said to me, "I don't like listening to jazz anymore." A big lesson I learned is to make important decisions at least overnight.
But because of this lesson, I also got a good result. Once, I wanted to fire the deputy director of our company. The personnel orders were signed and placed in my drawer. But when I woke up the next morning, I ripped it off. No one in our company knows that I once wanted to fire him. In fact, although the mistake he made that time was not minor, it was not serious enough to warrant firing. Although the mistake he made makes me sad, if he is really fired, the company will lose a reliable cadre.
A calm person will not make major decisions immediately, and will try to consult with others first. Also, be sure to keep in mind that major decisions need to be announced at least overnight, because you're likely to wake up with completely different ideas.
6. Don’t panic when walking and talking
Some people often bump here and there when walking. If this is the case for you, I suggest you pay a little attention and try to restrain yourself. , because such people are usually very panicked people. Once a person panics, he will appear unstable and will do the wrong thing. It is a good way to use some activities and entertainment projects to cultivate your composure. For example, many people like to play Go as a form of cultivation.
In family, company and surrounding environment——
①Who do you think has an unstable personality?
②What things (more important) do you think you are not calm enough about?
Methods for cultivating a calm root character
1. Don’t show your emotions casually.
2. Don’t tell everyone about your difficulties and experiences.
3. Before consulting others, think first, but don’t speak first.
4. Don’t nag your dissatisfaction every chance you get.
5. Try to consult with others on important decisions, and wait at least one night before releasing them.
6. Don’t panic when walking and talking
For reference only (for some plagiarism, please forgive me)