Grandpa is 86 years old, short and thin, healthy, walking windy, blind and deaf. Except for mild diabetes, his body is normal. At his age, there are few real numbers. Grandpa's health should not be explained by a single genetic and environmental effect.
Grandpa should have been born in 1933, more than half a century older than me. With my life experience, I can never fully summarize his long and tortuous life, and I am even more unfamiliar and ignorant. It is difficult to understand the background and social environment at that time. I can only describe grandpa's ordinary and intriguing life like a frog in the well.
? Grandpa and me? Grandpa and I
It is said that grandpa's father, my great-grandfather, was a landlord. He made a fortune by gambling and became the richest man in our village. The economic foundation determines the superstructure, so he created a good educational environment for grandpa. Grandpa also lived up to expectations and worked hard in primary, secondary and university. After graduating from college, he worked as a Chinese teacher in high school until he retired more than 20 years ago. I want to come to Xi quietly. Maybe it is much more peaceful than other areas. It's amazing that Grandpa can finish his college studies at the beginning of the founding of the great motherland in an era of war and bandits.
My impression of my grandfather began in the late 1980s, when my memory began to sprout and I knew nothing about the world. I vaguely remember that grandpa should teach at Xuyang High School in Lintong County, 50 miles away. He goes home every Saturday afternoon, enters the house through the back door, and leaves the back door the next afternoon to start a week's work. Grandpa almost never goes out during holidays. Besides reading, he sleeps. Occasionally, an older man comes to play chess with a chess bag. In the vague picture in my mind, grandpa hardly talks to the old chess player, without any language, eyes or even a smile, just playing chess, forgetting the game, playing chess, being stingy with words and expressions. At that time, like other children, I knew nothing. I only play with the "killed" chess pieces as building blocks, and grandpa doesn't talk to me. Of course, I want to be smart, and I will never make trouble, which will affect their fierce game.
1988 or so, I am about 5.6 years old, and I really want a plastic rubber-band toy gun in the "vendor" cart, which should be 20 cents each. There were no other adults at home at that time, so I had no choice but to ask my grandfather for money. Grandpa gave me 10 yuan directly. I was scared silly. I have never seen such a large face value of money. It's not good to hold it or not. I stood there like a wooden chicken, at a loss. I remember that for more than 20 years, I never asked my grandfather for anything. 10 yuan scared a child and blocked my relationship with grandpa. Grandpa and I seldom talk. We sit together like strangers, asking and answering questions, succinctly, without intimate language or even intimate tone. My mother said that my grandfather and I are similar in character and indifferent, maybe! One doesn't want to talk, the other doesn't bother to ask, but they understand each other and don't affect each other.
? The so-called marriage, the so-called husband and wife
Few people comment on the marriage of grandparents. After all, it has a long history and grandma has been dead for many years. The past is like smoke, drifting away with the wind, submerged in the rolling world of mortals with the passage of time, leaving no trace.
Grandma is three years older than grandpa. In ancient times, we paid attention to "three women holding gold bricks". Grandpa was well-off at that time and wanted to conform to the social situation of "parents' orders and matchmakers' words"
Grandma's personality is so different from grandpa's that it is almost difficult to keep quiet. She set out at dawn every day, visited around and didn't come back until dinner. You ask grandma and others what to eat and who cooks? This is completely understandable. Grandma met a very kind and hardworking mother-in-law. Everything at home is taken care of by grandma's mother-in-law. Grandma's mother-in-law worked hard until she died.
Grandma has a loud voice and a bad temper. It is rumored that grandma often curses at the northern end of the village, and the southern end of the village can hear clearly. Why do you want grandma to curse? I don't know. My memory of my grandmother is that she swore, with great momentum and full confidence. As for the reason, I think it can be attributed to the tragedy of character. It is her nature to have a bad temper, complain about others and never reflect on herself. My grumpy and abusive grandmother failed to stay with her grandfather for too long and suddenly died of cancer at the age of 55.
How did the quiet and indifferent grandfather live with the irritable and irritable grandmother for so many years? I can't feel the same way. I think grandpa should be particularly miserable, otherwise he wouldn't have married her before the "Seven Outings" and less than 50 days after her death. This rejection shocked many people at that time. There is a saying, "If you haven't experienced my hardships, don't easily persuade me to be tolerant."
When grandpa married another woman, I called her "Po". Po is younger than grandpa 1 1 year. She is tall and should have been beautiful when she was young. She has a good temper and speaks softly. After marriage, my grandfather was radiant with "second spring". He and his mother-in-law take Qi Mei as an example and regard each other as guests. Together, they have gone through more than 20 years of ups and downs and traveled all over the country, from Inner Mongolia in the north to Hainan Island in the south, leaving their presence in famous mountains and rivers everywhere.
I often think that if Grandpa doesn't remarry, he may not live to be 80 years old and his health will not be as good as it is now. After all, there are not many teachers around him who live long. "People over 70 are rare", and the 86-year-old grandfather is still strong. The importance of harmonious marriage is self-evident.
The so-called family, the so-called children
Grandparents gave birth to four sons, no daughters, and the youngest son, Fourth Uncle, died young. Grandma belongs to a farmer. Before remarriage, she gave birth to six daughters and no children. The remarriage of two people is an important event for two big families. Everyone has different opinions, but the starting point is mostly around economic interests. This is not surprising, it is just the normal state of society.
Grandma has changed from a farmer to a city dweller, and grandpa's salary is also quite high. Their family of seven likes it very much, which is a happy event. My father's three sons, two farmers, a civil servant and his second uncle are all very happy and open-minded, so don't worry about grandpa's life. My father and uncle are both aware that small farmers have a hard life and it is not easy to make money. They strongly opposed grandpa's remarriage. In fact, it's easy to understand that it's normal for women to be the masters in China's present society. After remarriage, father, uncle, etc. You can never feel at home when you talk at grandpa's house. After remarriage, it means that grandpa will not be able to give himself more financial support.
Whether you are against it or for it, marriage is a fait accompli and no one can change it. Twenty years after grandpa and grandma got married, grandma's daughter, son-in-law and grandchildren often get together at grandpa's house, which is very lively. My father's second and third uncles seem to agree with themselves. They get together on holidays and seldom come and go on weekdays.
No communication, no communication. Grandpa is a cold-hearted person. On the surface, he never seems to care about any son or grandson. Being sensible and reasonable is grandpa's advantage. Grandpa is not unfair to his son and grandson. For major events such as going to school, getting married and building a house, each family will receive a subsidy of 2000 yuan. Nothing can be done, and everyone is happy.
On 20 15, grandma found out "Alzheimer's disease", that is, Alzheimer's Harmo's disease. Anyone familiar with this disease knows that a particularly painful disease, especially for the relatives of patients, is a chronic mental torture. Grandma's six daughters, son-in-law, grandson and others slowly disappeared before her eyes, leaving no one.
For a normal family, patients with Alzheimer's disease are a great burden, and it is human nature to seek advantages and avoid disadvantages. As daughters' sons-in-law, their six daughters are all married, and it is understandable that they are old and young. Getting married and having children is really unbearable for an Alzheimer's patient's daily life, and it is normal to disappear.
My father's second and third uncle's advice is to go back to my hometown to find my mother. Opinions belong to opinions, and if they are not implemented, they are no opinions. Grandma's relatives didn't mean it, and neither did grandpa. The old couple are determined not to part. Think about it, too. After all, it's really against human feelings for couples who have been separated for more than 20 years.
Filial piety is a matter of course and cannot be discussed. After the reorganization, the family relationship is complex and diverse, not to mention that the father's generation is over 60 years old, and it is time to support themselves. It seems even more inappropriate for grandchildren to take on the life of grandparents. Two old people are old, and one still suffers from Alzheimer's disease. As you can imagine, they live in poverty.
In economic society, money can solve many problems. After many agreements, grandpa hired a cousin who didn't have a job, cooked and cleaned for the old couple every day, and paid his cousin a fixed salary every month. They are all relatives, know the root of the matter, trust each other, take what they need, and everyone is happy. The living problems of the old couple have been satisfactorily solved for the time being.
Grandpa and grandma gave birth to ten children, and finally no one stayed with them. Without any blame, I can deeply understand the situation and family of parents and "aunts", and the concept of raising children to prevent old age is deeply rooted. In the end, most of them draw water with nothing, but it is not as obvious as money, and it seems that it can maintain good family, friendship and love.
? The so-called career is called success.
Grandpa is 86 years old and graduated from college. Real numbers are rare in their time. He may have become famous. His carefree character makes him want to live an ordinary life.
It is rumored that grandpa was assigned to teach in Fengxiang High School in Baoji after graduating from college. Some county party officials asked him to work in the county party Committee, but he didn't go. The school promoted him to be the dean of academic affairs, but he refused. Grandpa only taught all his life, and even the class teacher did not serve as a teacher as much as possible. He showed no interest and persistence in money and power.
As soon as there was a policy tilt, Grandpa immediately transferred back to Xi 'an, first taught in Xuyang Senior High School in Lintong County, then transferred to Wuliang Middle School in Yanliang, and finally retired in Yanliang No.2 Middle School. Maybe he is getting closer and farther away from home, but grandpa never seems to pay attention to these things, live silently, don't compare with others and don't complain. The earth-shaking things around him have nothing to do with him. He only cares about food and vegetables, and only cares about food and clothing today.
When my second uncle was young, he mobilized my grandfather to change to a bigger house. Grandpa said he had had enough and wouldn't change. Grandparents have lived in a 60-square-meter small house in the teachers' family courtyard of Yanliang No.2 Middle School for more than 20 years.
Mr. Jiang Yang said: A person will get different degrees of accomplishment and different degrees of benefits after different degrees of exercise. Just like spices, the finer they are, the stronger the fragrance. We were so eager for the waves of fate, only to find out in the end that the most beautiful scenery in life is actually inner peace and calmness ... We were so eager for the recognition of the outside world, only to know in the end that the world is our own and has nothing to do with others!
The world belongs to itself and has nothing to do with others. Grandpa knows this very well. The contented personality and the lifestyle of wanting nothing make him happy all his life, and he can enjoy a long and healthy life.
Written at the end of the sentence
Silence, no exaggeration, no comparison, live quietly in your own world, happiness and well-being can only be found by yourself.
Marriage is the source of happiness, provided that you find the right partner. Carefully remarried, two broken families together, seemingly complete, with bigger cracks on the edge, hiding more pain.
Parents and children need to fulfill each other. Assuming that they depend on each other and build their happiness on each other, they will generally be disappointed. The concept of raising children to prevent old age has been shaken, so there is no need to be too persistent. It is better to make plans for your old age as soon as possible.
A gentleman loves money. Don't pay too much attention to money, but he must have a reserve to guard against risks. When you are a child, don't drag your parents. When you are a parent, don't drag your children into the code of conduct.
The world belongs to oneself and has nothing to do with others.
May grandpa live a long life.