Son, when you sit in the examination room and answer this test paper, your parents are watching, your teacher is watching, and all the people who care about and love you are watching; Just as the blue sky looks at birds, the sea looks at sails and the earth looks at grass ...? What I see is the back of my mother's efforts to get up early, the new white hair on the teacher's head, and your dreams. Watching the family, watching the responsibility, watching the future ... Watching is faith, persistence and expectation. Some things need to be seen for a lifetime. Perhaps, not every river can enter the sea, not every watch can be complete; But with vigilance, life becomes profound and the mind becomes full. In vigilance, we refuse temptation. In the watch, we are persistent in pursuit; Look, we are mature ... "
Please write an article on the topic "Look".
Comment on the test questions
Students may feel a little strange about the word "watch". Modern Chinese dictionaries explain that "watch" means "watch". The dictionary explains it very simply, but the meaning of this word is very extensive, and the content in the exam topic is the best explanation. Yes! Living in this ever-changing era, we have too many things to choose from, too many things to stick to and too many blueprints to draw. There are three points to note in the writing process:
First, show personality charm with positive themes. Candidates can write about their desire for fairness and justice, their pursuit of family friendship, and their care for animals and the environment. In short, what they want to see is a correct character, quality, emotion or thing. This kind of "seeing" should show the good mental outlook and enterprising inner world of contemporary middle school students. If you arbitrarily "make your own decisions" and describe your "unreasonable opposition" and "passive resistance" with your parents, teachers or classmates, you will enter the misunderstanding of writing.
Second, construct a unique plot with subtle ideas. Ordinary students may write from the front, so we might as well cut to the chase from the back. For example, a classmate from a particularly poor family risked being scolded by his mother and bought her a cake with pocket money on her birthday. Such a plot is very infectious.
Third, show the innovative style in a novel form. If the article is compared to a person, then this innovation in style and form is a charming coat woven for it. Any content with large time and space span and frequent location changes can be written into the diary; Letters can be used to write articles, reveal the hardships of life and express inner expectations; Articles with twists and turns and vivid and humorous contents can be led out with short stories.
Comment on Diary of a Land Travel
1 179 May 5th is sunny.
I revisited Kongming Mansion with admiration. There are mountain pines and green grass here, and there are red flowers and ancient clocks here. Stepping lightly on the green moss makes the mountains come into view, stroking the dust and arousing my thoughts; Listening to the faint bell, I feel empty. At the moment, there is quite a feeling of "I am humble, but I am virtuous". In the distance, larks sang about Kongming's achievements, like drums, and all the laughter and laughter disappeared. The grass at the foot is dancing with today's memories, thinking of three visits to the thatched cottage, feather fans and black scarves. Looking back at the battle of the northern frontier, I can't help but sigh, "A teacher shows his real name, who is better than ever." ?
A.D.1200165438+1thunderstorm night on October 4th.
"White hair and three thousands of feet, like a long beard." Now, I am old, but my heart is still in the northern sky, and I don't want to take it back for a long time. Seeing that the north is in an emergency, I can't go into battle to kill the enemy. Only "lying in the middle of the night listening to the wind and rain, iron horse glacier dream." I nourish my life with poetry and miss my hometown. Whenever I miss my hometown, I can only catch a handful of poems. I can only watch my long-cherished wish with poetry, and I can only let poetry gallop in the smoke-filled room with heroic spirit.
Blizzard on1210121.
I'm dying at the moment, and my son is anxious to call a doctor for me. I frankly refused. Outside the Qingshan building outside the mountain, the Southern Song Dynasty is still full of songs and dances. People are intoxicated with drunkenness, and the whole city has been softened, and it has already been beaten by the wind and rain. This overflowing smell is tantamount to cutting a few more knives on my weak and sick body. People in China have long stopped reading poems and asking questions about state affairs. They are so numb that they want to be isolated from the world. Only I want to use sharp poems to turn into sharp halberds, use sarcastic tone to turn into flying arrows, use warning words to turn into hard shields and throw them into the northern sky together! I want to turn a rainbow with blood and stick to my homeland. I know my luck is running out, but I hope my son will remember: "Julian Waghann set the Central Plains Day in the north, and don't forget to inform Nai Weng about the family sacrifice!"
Comments: The author opened his heart and thought for thousands of years. He skillfully condensed the poet's same mood in different periods with three diaries, showing the poet's noble feelings of sticking to patriotic beliefs and looking forward to national reunification. The article is full of emotion, poetry and allusions are handy, and attractive literary talent shines everywhere. After reading the article, I believe everyone will applaud. Yes! Without a good foundation, why write to your ancestors? How can you express your ambition and passion if you don't know your heart?
Comment on the perfect example 2
I received a letter yesterday.
Yesterday's "I":
Hello! ?
See your slow figure, see your locked eyebrows, see your silent tears, my mood becomes particularly heavy. I know that you are very sad for the bittersweet life in grade three, you are complaining about all kinds of troubles in your growth, and you are still disheartened by a little setback in your progress. ?
Life can't be smooth sailing, life can't be just happiness, and everyone will encounter this kind of life experience. I read this story in a book. A girl who is only 19 years old doesn't feel confident after the exam. Although her score exceeded the college admission line by 7 points, she took sleeping pills the night before the report card was handed out. She is the captain's daughter and the darling of her parents. She grew up in a honey pot, but she didn't expect to be so fragile when she drank too much honey. ?
There is a famous saying: "Pain can breed soul and spiritual strength." In my opinion, disaster may be a proud nurse, disaster may be a hero's milk, and "pain", "disaster" and "disaster" all need to be overcome with suffering. Mencius wrote in Historical Records, "Born in sorrow, died in happiness", "Good medicine tastes bitter and is good for illness, but advice is hard to listen to is good for action", "The sword is sharpened, and the plum blossom fragrance comes from bitter cold". Many sages explained this profound truth to us. Only by keeping an eye on ideals and beliefs in the storm can we have a strong viability. ?
Throughout the ages, how many romantic figures have stood on their own feet in adversity and finally achieved great things. "King Wen was arrested and played Zhouyi; Zhong You wrote Spring and Autumn Annals; Qu Yuan's exile is a tribute to Li Sao. Zuo Qiu is blind and has "Mandarin"; The foot of Sun Tzu's Art of War has been revised; It's not Shu, but Lu Lan. Han Fei imprisoned Qin, saying that it was difficult and lonely. " Three hundred poems are generally attributed to the anger of sages. "What makes them so sad and indignant is their brilliant performance. ?
"Mistaken into the Wanshan Circle, one mountain releases one mountain". With this understanding, will you still be afraid of the suffering and failure ahead? My friend, I hope you will face up to your sufferings, stick to yourself, strengthen your faith, get rid of depression and resentment confidently, and raise your ideal sail confidently. I believe that a bright tomorrow must belong to you. ?
Ten years later?
June 2004 18?
Comments: The same content, from different angles and in different forms, may shine with attractive brilliance. A letter to yesterday's "me" is a successful model. The author tells an ordinary argumentative essay in the form of a letter, which is not only novel, but also full of emotion. The opening description of the characters is concise and in place, and the characters are vividly on the paper; Then the real case is typical and profound, and the story is thought-provoking; The discussion that followed was wonderful and literary. This is indeed a beautiful and creative article.
2. Shanghai senior high school entrance examination composition problem solution and full mark example comment
Choose one of the following two questions and write an article of about 600 words. ?
Title one?
We are the rising sun; We are middle school students in their prime. ?
On campus, we are full of energy; ?
Outside the campus, we are full of passion ...
Write a composition on the topic "We are the rising sun". ?
Title two?
Write a composition on the topic "My sight". ?
Requirements: (1) The school name and name related to the examinee cannot appear in the text. If it is inevitable, use code names, such as A Middle School, Teacher B and Junior c(2). Don't use the reading materials in the test paper.
Comment on the test questions
"We are the rising sun" can guide and stimulate students' "vitality" and "positive" emotions. First, review the topic. The topic is subject-predicate phrase, "we" is plural and the first person. It can be seen that the article must write "we" in the first person. Secondly, we can arouse the association of the "rising sun": "The red sun rises, its road is bright ... it is powerful for the teenagers in China, and it has no borders". The "vigorous and positive" activities that "we" middle school students have experienced and experienced are even more colorful: art festivals, science and technology festivals, sports meetings and campus experiments. Off-campus spring outing, autumn outing, visit, social investigation, birthday party, volunteer activities, etc. Can be selected as a patterning material. ?
The "I" in the title "My sight" refers to "individual". "mine" refers to what I have obtained through hard work, what I have and what others don't have, which has a great influence on my life. According to the meaning of the question, "mine" is a restrictive word of "sight". This article must write about what is my sight and why it is my sight, that is, the love between "I" and my sight or a touching story. Obviously, this is an article that needs to write personal emotional experience. "Line of sight" is "the world that the eyes can see", and there are many angles such as looking up, looking up and looking down. As far as "head-up" is concerned, a scenic spot, a literary masterpiece and the scientific and technological progress reflected by "Shenzhou V" can all be written. In terms of "looking up", the night sky in July: stars, moon, Beidou Galaxy-the world is long and life is short. As far as "overlooking" is concerned, boarding the Jinmao Tower, the Oriental Pearl, Mount Tai and Mount Everest, and boarding the plane, you can get a panoramic view of the land of Shencheng and the new look of the motherland-the city construction is thriving and the motherland is prosperous and strong, which is another beautiful scenery in My Sight!
We are the rising sun.
-fiery youth, different beauty
We are full of vigor and vitality, we strive for progress, we strive for progress, we face life with a smile, we are middle school students in their prime, and we are the rising sun in Ran Ran! ?
We are the rising sun, because we are as energetic as the sun. Some people yearn for the quietness and indifference of "watching flowers bloom and fall in front of the court, looking up at the sky and looking at the clouds" Some people yearn for the seclusion and fun of "picking chrysanthemums under the east fence and seeing Nanshan leisurely", but we don't want it. We appreciate the chic and self-confidence of "One day, I will ride the wind and waves, and set my cloudy sail straight and bridge the deep, deep sea". What we want is vigorous youth that never regrets! Therefore, we can see cheering on the sports ground and various podium. We meet every challenge calmly with hope, let our victorious laughter fill our colorful season, and let youth bloom with different beauty! ?
We are the rising sun, because we are as indestructible as the sun. We will also experience failures and setbacks, but we have a strong and brave heart. Balzac once said, "Frustration is like a stone. For the weak, it is a stumbling block, making you hold back. For the strong, it is a stepping stone to make you stand higher. " We will not shout "God never shuts one door but he opens another" like frustrated people, nor will we "live in a thatched cottage" like frustrated people. We will say "Don't complain about the east wind" and "Since God has given talents, let them find jobs!" To warn and encourage ourselves. I remember that we lost the sports meeting, but we can't lose confidence and hard work when we lost the game. The next year, we made a comeback, and the important awards were swept away by us. The more depressed we are, the braver we are. We hold our heads high, face the sunshine and tell ourselves that we must work hard! ?
We are the rising sun, because we are as enthusiastic as the sun. Xi Murong once said: "The beauty and preciousness of youth lies in its innocence, in the fact that it can be met but not sought, and in the fact that it is gone forever. Youth has no regrets. " So we cherish our youth. When others are in trouble, we give timely help; When others are hesitant, we listen quietly and pray deeply for them. We are willing to use our enthusiasm and boldness to make everyone have fun with us. Laughter and laughter always linger in our hearts for a long time and become a permanent freeze in our memory! ?
We are middle school students in the prime of life and the rising sun! Look! The burning sun shines in the sky hopefully! Listen! Our steps are confidently out of the examination room!
Comments: Full of vigor and atmosphere, it makes people sad to read. This article is impressive. What is the reason? First of all, the ancients said well: "There are poems and books in the belly to express themselves." Imagine, if the author doesn't read widely at ordinary times, where can the articles shine with beautiful words everywhere? Without extensive reading, how can we freely use the words of famous poets such as Li Bai, Tao Yuanming, Xi Murong and Balzac? Therefore, to brew honey well, you must pick flowers; To write a good article, you must read more books and read good books. Secondly, the extensive and accurate application of parallelism and contrast makes the article full of momentum. The proper use of parallelism is a highlight of this paper, which is not only rich but also flexible. The parallelism of the opening paragraph is the first sound. In the middle, the sentence pattern "We are the rising sun, because we ……" is arranged into three paragraphs, which are progressive and logical. In addition, there are contrasts in the first two paragraphs, such as "some people ... some people ... but we ..." "We won't ... we won't ... we will ...", which makes the article ups and downs and intriguing. In short, whether it is language, content, structure or technique, this article is worth studying seriously.
We are the rising sun.
Fifteen years old, a vibrant age. The words "young", "full of energy" and "full of passion" have always been used to describe us. We are like the rising sun, always shining with vitality and emitting the breath of youth. As long as we are here, we will have vitality. ?
It's grade three now, and graduation also means that students who have been classmates for four years will be separated, and everyone is reluctant to leave a souvenir for grade three. ?
When writing a classmate record, Xiao K's "A picture of a dog barking a cat" spread all over the country with its funny style and concise composition, and won constant praise. This is like our life, colorful, lively and cheerful. ?
Although I wrote a classmate's record, I feel something is missing, probably a feeling of boiling blood and vitality.
So we decided to hold a "Friendship Competition of Grade Three in S School". ?
Although it is called a friendly match, everyone is eyeing the championship trophy. Everyone wants to add luster to the third grade. ?
In the game, the players tried their best to "kick" the football to the other half with the aim of not dying as long as they scored. They are frivolous and young. On the sidelines, everyone is not idle, and there is a game to "roar". It takes courage to fight. We girls shouted "Come on". If only I had practiced the Lion Roar! ?
The exciting moment is yet to come. No matter how fair the referee is, as long as he gives us a penalty, no matter how close the referee is, we will immediately turn our faces and deny people and swear. The whole playground can feel the breath of youth. ?
In fact, youth should be worthy of the name, with such momentum and impulse. ?
Fifteen years old, a vibrant age, can be frivolous years. At the age of fifteen, we are shining with wisdom, youth and vitality. We can find vitality and enthusiasm, liveliness and happiness in ourselves. As long as there is youth, we all have it. ?
The red sun rises and its road is bright. At the age of fifteen, we are like the rising sun, always shining with vitality and emitting the breath of youth. The future is bright, and we have brought light and hope to the world. ?
Who Are We? We are the rising sun.
Comments: This is a sentimental composition in the examination room. Candidates wrote the anger of middle school students in poetic language. Between the lines are filled with the passion and breath of youth, just like the declaration of youth, which makes adolescent students full of yearning. This paper selects typical fragments of campus life, focusing on the colorful life of junior high school and the pure friendship between classmates. The wonderful football friendly match in senior three pushed the mood to a climax. The main part of the language is humorous and full of the flavor of the times, which is integrated with the emotional tone of the full text. Especially at the beginning and end of the article, the feelings are intense and the language is delicate. Sincere feelings and flying literary talent are the biggest highlights of this perfect composition.
Comment on my sight.
-Remember a blue umbrella?
My vision was blocked by a blue umbrella for so long ...?
That blue is as clear as the sky. ?
When I was a child, when it rained, my mother always picked me up from school with a blue umbrella. My head is blue, my shoulders are blue, and everything I can see is a blue sky without rain. ?
Later, on a rainy day, I looked up and talked to my mother, only to find that half of her sky was gloomy, and the wind mixed with raindrops fell in her gloomy sky, and her shoulders were wet and her hair on her forehead was wet. And I am still in the blue sky without rain. ?
"Mom, the umbrella is crooked." I warned you. ?
"No, the umbrella is not crooked." Mother answered gently. ?
My eyes rested on the inclined umbrella handle. "It's true, the umbrella is crooked." ?
Mom stubbornly said, "No, really not …"?
Later, when I grew up, I didn't want my mother to pick me up in rainy days. The blue umbrella faded year after year in the cupboard. I used to think that I had forgotten. ?
Maybe it's a coincidence, another rainy day and that blue umbrella. Under the umbrella, my mother and I hold an umbrella. I am about the same height as my mother. ?
My eyes unconsciously fell on the umbrella handle, and the scene was mixed with the scene when I was a child. My mother is shrouded in a blue rainless sky. My shoulders are wet and my hair is wet. ?
"The umbrella is crooked." Mom reminded me. ?
"No, it's not crooked." ?
"It's true, the umbrella is crooked." Mom repeated. ?
Mom, it's not crooked, is it?
There was silence for a long time under the umbrella, but when I turned around, I caught a glimpse of glittering and translucent water droplets across my mother's face and cheeks. ?
The faded umbrella reappears the blue that was as clear as the sky before. ?
Finally, I understand that my mother has propped up a rainless sky for me for so long. Now, I want to give my mother a happy blue sky, although Meng Jiao said, "But how much love is there for an inch of grass?" ?
So my eyes were tied to the blue umbrella. I am the one who fights under the lamp every night, and I am the one who shuttles to the cram school every weekend ...?
All this is because of the oblique blue umbrella. ?
That kind of blue, as clear as the sky, makes my eyes dare not move-never.
Comments: This article wins in the examination of questions and conception. The author vividly puts an eternal topic-affection in My Sight, and his examination of the topic and material can be described as ingenious, fresh and natural. The object of focus-umbrella-is the clue for this article to travel through time and space. When the article is conceived, it intercepts the two poles of this kind of affection and love, takes maternal love and love for mother as the nuanced focus, reveals deep feelings and is touching.
Comment 4: My sight.
On the eve of the senior high school entrance examination, what is engraved in my heart is not your fake relaxed smile, but your sparse hair-slightly loose, half black and half white. You lie beside me, patting me like a child and letting me sleep. Oh, my father. ?
Although I already know where the examination room is, you still insist on seeing me off. My eyes are fixed on your anxious eyes because of the short-term dispute at home. I agreed. ?
In the carport, I skillfully unlocked my bike. What impressed me was your spotless car. Looking up, I see your bent body. ?
My father's disabled car is obviously faster than mine. Watching him drive in front, I silently followed. In the mirror, it is your weather-beaten face. Although you are expressionless and looking ahead, I can still feel your concern for me. ?
In the corner, my father looked in the mirror, and he still stays in my heart, full of concern, just like watching my homework by the desk lamp. I can't help but pause. ?
Along your rut, I continued to move forward, and the main road was crowded with students who were rushing to take the exam, which instantly filled the gap between you and me. I tried to hold my head high and look for your trace in the traffic, and a familiar back came into view. Your back suddenly becomes smaller and bigger. You're worried. You seem to be looking for me in the traffic. I have unspeakable gratitude and bitterness in my heart.
Finally, I walked side by side with your disabled car By accident, the red light separated us. Looking back at you on the other end of the phone, I almost have the impulse to catch up at once. The red light changed, I saw your figure clearly again, and you saw me, as if the whole person was relaxed; Seeing you, I feel like meeting again after a long separation. ?
At the entrance of the examination room, the teacher gives you a face-to-face lecture, and you drift away. Looking at you, I have mixed feelings. All I can do is wait for the exam ... the holiday is in three days, and it's a relaxing day, so I won't worry about anxiety all day. Maybe after the results are announced, you will take me on a trip, and then we can relax.
Comments: There is no rhetoric, and there is no hypocrisy. The examinee described his father's feeling of accompanying him to the examination room in simple words, but our hearts were deeply moved by him. ?
There are two main reasons for the success of this article: first, it shows the charm of true feelings. The disabled father cares silently, the sensible son is grateful, and the father and son have a heart in mind. They can communicate without words, just one look and one back. What a deep affection between father and son! The second is to make good use of details to describe and portray vividly. The full text does not directly write "emotion", but "conveys" emotion everywhere between the lines, and indirectly expresses emotion in the silent place through the delicate description of portraits and psychology.
A good article with one heart and one mind
3. Ziyang, Sichuan, the composition of the senior high school entrance examination, with full marks.
Choose a composition from the following two topics. ?
Title one?
True feelings are a ray of sunshine, a clear spring and a green tree. True feelings support a blue sky in our lives. Please write on the topic of "true feelings". ?
Title two?
From elementary school to junior high school, we have taken countless exams. Today, we are being selected by the motherland and the people in the examination room. In the future, when we step into society, we will face many challenges and tests. In a word, life is full of exams. Please write the title "Examination". ?
Requirements: (1) Choose your own style and write your own topic, no less than 600 words. (2) The real names such as names of people, places and schools shall not appear in the text.
Comment on the test questions
Both topics are the same type of topic composition. Let's make an analysis of the second topic. Question (2) requires writing on the topic of "examination". When conceiving, we should quickly associate relevant people, things, things and theories. For example, what was the most profound exam you experienced? What joys and sorrows did the exam bring you? What do you think of the reform of senior high school entrance examination? What do you think of the exam proposition? What is the relationship between quality education and examination? What will be linked to the exam after entering the society?
After opening your mind, you should quickly make the best choice of what to write. There are a lot of materials about "test", but only one point can be chosen in the composition. This "point" should be the point that can best show your writing talent and attract readers' attention. Be different from others' writing, have a bright spot and fully show your personality characteristics.
Comment on the taste of an exam
Tomorrow is the monthly exam. Although we can't decide our fate, the ranking of grades, class rankings, teachers' comments and parents' indiscriminate bombing are enough for us. We either sum up the lessons with conviction, or admit our shortcomings with duplicity, or we are indifferent at all. Anyway, sharpen your knife at the last minute! You can't leave the night train quickly!
The next day, I walked into the examination room mechanically and sat upright in my seat, waiting for the invigilator. At this point, my mind went blank. After receiving the paper, my heart pounded, my scalp swelled, and the words on the paper jumped in front of my eyes. I closed my eyes and shook my head, thinking that the teacher had said to be calm and look at the simple questions first. So I opened my eyes, looked at the topic with rapt attention, and made a few small questions.
At this time, the mentality is stable and the answering speed is faster. After you finish the questions you can do, pick some questions that seem to be inaccurate. At the same time, mobilize all your energy, recall how the teacher commented on similar problems, how to explain them in the textbook, and write as much as possible. Then carefully give the problem a "face to face", find a breakthrough and try to solve it. At this moment
Patience is needed, just like no matter how fast the heart beats, the mind is not very flexible. I'm at my wit's end, but I'm not willing to fail, so I pick myself up again, re-examine the questions, and come up with a real answer, and I'm very happy in an instant. It's really beautiful. However, things can't always be perfect, and it's useless to rack one's brains for some problems, which really makes me very upset and depressed.
90 minutes have passed. Eyes like dragons and phoenixes search on "bean sprouts", trying to find out the mistakes, even a little. At this time, friendship; You accepted the honor and worked hard.