My practice not only requires high self-cultivation, but also needs to have enough understanding of real life, otherwise it will be difficult to do it. I clearly gave Xian the impression of a "hypocrite", but I just want to say how great I am, which is beyond the reach of ordinary men. I am really great, because in the past six months, I have treated it like my daughter, whether in work, life or study. So I made no secret of my greatness. ...
I clearly love her in my heart, but I want to let this shadow I have been looking for for for most of my life leave me. This is the greatness of a "hypocrite". The reason is not people's views on men and women. Only true "hypocrites" value men and women more than anything else. People's understanding of men and women is mostly based on sexual awareness, and my love for ABC is a nostalgia for her like my ex-wife. I know very well that similarity doesn't mean yes. For a fact that no longer exists, it can only be used as a psychological sustenance. Any unnecessary thinking will bring you immeasurable trouble. Therefore, the love for ABC can only be the care of the elders, and it must not be the kind of love with sexual consciousness from the heart.
ABC and I have been lovers of words since April. After getting along for half a year, I started writing with her permission. The premise of this creation is to take her as the prototype of life and recall many years of my quiet life. When a person looks too much like another person, it is easy to remind this person of his past life. In this regard, I said to ABC: "I seem to be much younger when I see you. My body is not young; " But young in spirit "ABC didn't seem to understand what I said, but she kept silent. I am an outspoken person, saying that it is a confession of life; Doing is being responsible for life. If you love someone, you must do what you say; It is insincere to do something different from what you say. However, ABC does not seem to think so. Therefore, there are many wordless thoughts buried in our hearts. On April 18, it began to rain in Mao Mao, so I decided to talk to ABC. Unexpectedly, I sent her a few short messages, and she refused. I waited for her in the rain all afternoon. However, everything went up in smoke ...
Now I understand that her parents' early ways to get rid of family dependence are undoubtedly correct. In the past six months, I have also fulfilled my obligations as an elder. Because I said what I should say and what I shouldn't say, I have done my duty as a social mentor. In order to love her better, I used the necessary psychological test. Although she was never psychologically prepared, she passed 80%, which just made up for her psychological fragility. Although she left me angrily, I was satisfied with the result. This just achieved the goal of producing talents early and quickly. What am I wronged? Does anyone dare to say that I am not great?
Emotionally, I gained self-control in advance, which made up for the shortcomings of many writers who became famous when their wives separated. I dare not brag about how clever I am, but I resolutely restrained my unrealistic emotions. She finally went, which shows that she didn't really understand all my words and deeds. This is really a blessing in misfortune, which proves that I am greater in this respect. If she really understands, once the goodwill is greatly increased, even the gods can't predict the consequences. She is a woman with a clear distinction between love and hate. So, I decided to let her fight in the ruthless sea first. ...
Fairy is a quiet shadow that even lovers can't deny. The shadow has been found, and my heart has been empty for nearly 30 years. In this case, let this beautiful picture stay in your heart, and you don't have to keep her with you. If I am too selfish, then society will punish me. When birds grow up, they always leave their nests and look for their own blue sky independently. Spring belongs to everyone, how can I enjoy it alone?
In terms of age, I am her elder; Psychologically speaking, she is the shadow in my heart that I once loved and knew; The most contradictory thing to say is myself. There are many ways to love, but I only belong to the kind that hides love in my heart and does not exclude it. I have never monopolized the evil thoughts of spring. If so, it means that I have shattered a beautiful shadow, so I am supreme. Shadow is the only spiritual support for my hope of survival. Of course, anyone can regard this hope as falling in love with her, which is the freedom of people's ideology and way of thinking, so let them go!
Xian is a rare outstanding young man, which is the "first" in my six-year social mentor role. Maybe she's the last of my mentor roles. I seem to be exhausted, and she seems to let me down. This disappointment comes from her incomprehension of the profound rhyme of the text. Nevertheless, I firmly believe that this hazy vision can't be wrong. I believe you will learn by yourself as you get older. ...
In our story, someone may ask the same question: "Does she really love you? If someone really asks; Well, I can be frank: I don't know how to answer this question …
Life and death, love and hate, I have a higher level of independent understanding than others. Everything in the world should be about fate. Being too serious is a tragic opening; Loving someone too much will be the beginning of the enemy and the moment of loss; To test this philosophy, I boldly said to her, "I love her." As a result, she really turned against me I lost her, but it also gave me a new understanding of the summary of the ancients ... I am going through this experiment, and I have to pay the price. There will never be a successor.
Love between men and women is vulgar if only thinking stays above sexual consciousness. Love needs a high level. What is this high level? It is help, encouragement, scientific guidance of the correct values of life, and more importantly, concern and understanding of the details of one day's life. It is a way to solve the existing problems in reality, rather than the possession of sexual consciousness in the general sense. Therefore, I firmly believe that Xian's departure will be the beginning of her maturity and success. ...
A person's growth can not only rely on the help and touch of one person, but also needs the touch and help of the whole society. Only in this way can she mature and grow up quickly after experiencing more setbacks. Pain should be as early as possible for Xian, which is beneficial and harmless to her all-round maturity and growth. Xian is a clever and sensitive girl. She is as passionate as Fenhe River in her hometown. Although she also has many shortcomings, it is caused by the lack of correct guidance from family and society, and it is by no means her personal subjective factor; It can only be said that life experience is not accumulated enough, but it is unfair to whitewash her with other thinking.
I never denied the beating of my heart. I stared at her for a long time; But I quickly restrained my emotions; To say that I have deep feelings for her, it can only be the role of shadow. Because shadows are familiar and unforgettable. Maybe she can forget me after many years, but I can't forget her. She is not only the pioneer of this era, but also the future master of this era. So, I made a decision that ordinary people can't understand and let her leave. For this decision, I first sent two short messages that she couldn't accept, and a long letter similar to prose. This method finally worked. I apologized to her eight times in order not to make her feel particularly bad. Although she didn't forgive me, I'm glad. I am very happy because her true character has come out.
We have only known each other for half a year from winter to summer. If she is a boy, I may have to stay with him for a while; Because she is a girl, it is more important to let her know about this society and her comprehensive adaptability as soon as possible. I gave her all kinds of psychological tests without her permission. Since it is an exam, naturally I can't tell her what to take. If I tell you, will it still be an exam? Telling her is tantamount to asking her to find a reason to avoid and escape, which is irresponsible. This time, I am very dissatisfied. She thinks all my tests are just a reasonable excuse for herself. Of course, she didn't tell me this inference. She thinks I hurt her, and this understanding is correct for her at present; But in the future, I firmly believe that she will think that her original understanding is incorrect. Most of the poems and short messages I sent her have not been modified, and now they have become beautiful essays and poems; It is a spiritual work that can be appreciated by the public, and it is by no means a vulgar work that ordinary people understand. I don't want to bother her any more.
The summer when Xian left was sunny, and she sent the cover design of the manuscript with trepidation. She left without hesitation without saying a word. Looking at the back of her departure, my mood is also very complicated.
But at that moment, my heart didn't accelerate. My heart is very quiet, as if it were sky blue. Her personality seems to multiply my upward spirit, and at the same time let me see a kind of hope. Hate is not a bad thing. Hate and being hated are the expressions of both sides' calmness. Where there is love, there is hate, and love and hate are intertwined. But I have only one achievement, and calmness is the beginning of cheer. ...
Life is like a clear spring, and immortality is that clear spring. She is not only worthy of my love, but everyone who wants to love her; Because she has the courage to face life. She really looks like a hot-blooded man. She treats people kindly and has a clear distinction between love and hate. In material wealth; Now all kinds of temptations, she can still resist everything. There are not many young women like Xian now, which shows that my test of her has not been in vain. So, I can face a lot of things I don't understand …
She and I may become good friends in the future. In China's dictionary, we may be strangers forever. No matter what the result is, my family and I will always love her in our hearts. If Xian can elevate the meaning of love to this level, I firmly believe that the hatred in her heart will disappear with the increase of knowledge.